Author notes at the end

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Things were getting out of hand.

A few hours had passed since Namjoon had been granted his first wish and now the building was overun with Siwon's family.

His parents, his siblings, his aunts and uncles, his cousins...

Namjoon doubted the Queen herself and all her ancestors had this many goddamn relatives!

Every time time he turned around someone was trying to kiss his ass and right now there was a whole mob of them. All waddling after him on their knees with puckered lips as he wandered around, trying to find a space in his own apartment that wasn't already occupied by someone trying to dust or scrub.

Namjoon couldn't take it anymore.

"Give it a break would you!" he pivoted and barked at the group behind him. "You've each kissed me at least three or fours times already!"

"Let us kiss you again, Master," one man begged.

"No!" Namjoon waved his hands shooing them away. "Go clean something. You're being ridiculous."

As they all got up and scurried away, Siwon came running over to him with a beautiful girl in tow.

"Oh illustrious, Master!" he greeted jovially, as he steered the girl to stand in front of him. "My wife, Yuri, has a surprise for you."

Namjoon looked at his wife and hummed, "Oh, really?"

His gaze flitted over the girls sultry eyes and pouty lips, tracking down to her ample bust and curved waistline.

He'd always been a sucker for someone with a little extra cushion.

Maybe this would make up for all the woes he'd had to suffer up until now.

He waved Siwon away. "Go get me a beer."

Siwon quickly complied, shimmying off to the kitchen as Namjoon placed his hands on Yuri's shoulders. Petting them as she stared adoringly into his eyes and held up a pricey looking watch for his perusal.

"It's my husband's solid gold Rolex Daytona," she informed and he examined it closely, eyes widening just a fraction.

Namjoon had never owned anything that came close to this expensive before.

"I got it for my husband's thirty-first birthday," she continued. "But you must have it. All of our possessions are yours now."

Namjoon took it from her but stuck his nose in the air as he'd seen Siwon do to him many times before.

"Are you sure it's not one of those cheap imitations?" he joked, and Yuri gasped then fell into his arms, hugging him tightly.

"Oh my, no, Master. I swear, I would never do anything to aggrieve you. I would do anything to please you, Master. Anything."

Namjoon peered at the top of Yuri's glossy head with quirking lips. An idea forming in his brain as his head twisted toward the kitchen.

"Yah Siwon, I'm going to take your wife out and buy her some underwear!"

There was a thumping noise and the sound of a bottle smashing, before Siwon's strained voice shouted back, "O-o-okay, Master! He-help yourself!"

Namjoon grinned and grabbed Yuri's hand but then remembered he didn't actually have any money to take her anywhere.

But he had just the ticket to fix that.

He tapped his chin. "Okay, Wishmaster," he sang out. "We need some spending money so how about a billion won?"

Instantly, the doorbell rang and Namjoon left Yuri's side, weaving his way through the sea of Siwon's family to pull open the door. He looked down and spotted a small open duffel sitting on the ground just astride of it, stacked on the inside with cash.

Namjoon fell to his knees, fingers diving in the bag and scooping up the thick wads with unadulterated joy.

"I'm rich!" he whooped then dropped the cash, gathered the bag into his arms and rose to his feet.

He was going to count it all!

Then maybe spread some on his bed so he and Yuri could roll around in it.

Namjoon turned to go back inside but paused when an urgent voice called out to him. It was Sehun, hurrying down the hallway toward him and looking a bit winded, as if he had something important to say.

"Master!" he puffed as he reached him. "I think there might be someone trapped in the elevator. I could hear voices and banging."

Namjoon fixed him with a pointed stare. "Yeah, well, in case you hadn't noticed. I'm no longer Mr. repair-it so why don't you get your rich ass out there and do it yourself?"

"Of course. I would be happy to, Master!" Sehun bubbled, then toddled off as Namjoon rolled his eyes and went back in the apartment

But he had only made it a few steps in when the possessed vacuum cleaner plowed past- running over his toes in the process.

He jumped back in surprise as the appliance sucked up one of his work boots then made a meal out of a throw rug. It was starting to smoke and the bag was full past bulging- but that didn't stop it from also trying to suck up the living room curtains.

Namjoon dropped the duffel and leaped on it, attempting to pry it off but that only seemed to make the thing more determined. It growled and tore at the curtains like a starved dog on a bone.

"Friggen demon vacuum!" Namjoon cursed. "Quit it!"

When that didn't work, he gritted his teeth and bent his legs, using all his strength to drag it back and throw it inside the closet.

He breathed out a sigh of relief once it was securely shut in, but then there was a thunderous crashing noise in the kitchen.

He rushed inside, jaw dropping when he saw Siwon hugging the fridge, struggling to contain the whiteware as it shuddered and rocked from side to side. There was broken glass all around him and spilled beer all over the floor.

"Siwon, what the hell!?" he yelled and the harassed man looked over his shoulder.

"Help, Master!" he pleaded. "I can't stop it."

Namjoon outstretched his arms and threw himself into the door- grunting with effort as he and Siwon worked together to keep it closed, long enough to allow Namjoon to pull off his belt and secure it around the handle.

But when they stepped back it continued to shudder.

"Master, it's not going to hold!" Siwon bleated, and Namjoon took a few alarmed steps back when he saw the man was right.

The belt had already begun to rip at its seams- beer falling through the widening crack of the door, as the meagre obstacle keeping it shut started to stretch and unfasten.

"Shit," he uttered as he backed right out of the doorway. "Time to jet."

He had to battle through a surge of people that converged on him with eager cries and butt groping hands, but once he'd made it to the other side he scooped up the duffle and hastened for the door.

He dropped it again, however, when the same said door, abruptly banged open and a bunch of SWAT members swarmed in. Pointing large semi automatics at him.

"Get down!" one of them yelled as Namjoon fell to the floor in fright.

Another man pointed a gun in his face, yelling, "Hands behind your back, now!"

Namjoon did what he was told but swung his gaze around to the officer putting him in cuffs. He grimaced as the cold metal snapped closed, biting harshly into his wrists.

"What's the matter?" he asked. "What have I done? I haven't done anything!"

Another officer dropped the duffel bag in front of him with a thud. "Bingo, lookie what we got here officer Kang," he sneered to his colleague. "It's the money from the robbery."

Namjoon nearly crapped himself.

"Hold on a sec, no no no no! That money just appeared in front of my door!"

Siwon and his family huddled against the walls of his apartment, watching as the cops stood Namjoon up.

The officer that had cuffed him, tugged him toward the door but Namjoon resisted. Eyes darting to his name badge.

"Look, D-Daniel. Officer Kang. I-I've been in my apartment all day," he reasoned. "I haven't left not once. All these people can vouch for me."

Daniel narrowed his eyes. Disbelief dancing in them. "They will eh? All right then let's hear it."

The officer allowed Namjoon to turn around but kept a hand firmly on his wrists as the former wildly searched the crowd.

"Hey, guys! I've been here the whole time, right? Tell them!" Namjoon prompted.

"Yes, Master~" they chanted.

Then as one they bent into deep bows, reverent and worshipping him like they had been doing all day, like an idol.

Daniel's gaze quickly took in the atmosphere of the room then snapped back to him.

"You sack of dicks. What kind of crazy cult shit are you running here?" he snarled.

Namjoon tried to explain himself, but suddenly, there was a massive explosion and beer bottles began to spew into the room. Shooting through the open kitchen door like missiles and splintering against the adjacent wall.

Siwon and his family screeched; throwing themselves out of harms way and ducking for cover as Namjoon was roughly hauled out the door.

It was officer Kang again.

The guy really seemed to have it out for him.

The rest of the officers filed out from behind as he was gripped by the arm and escorted through the hallway and down the stairs. But as he was being led away he heard a voice cry out.

Namjoon craned his neck back and spotted Sehun, peeking around the corner from where the elevator was and waving a wrench in the air with a big celebratory smile on his face.

"I've nearly fixed the elevator, Master!" he declared and Namjoon skidded on his feet, struggling against the officers hold to keep the kid in sight.

"Sehun, listen to me carefully! I need you to come to the police station and post my bail-"

His words died in his throat and his hope with them as he was manhandled around the corner and out of view.

Namjoon's shoulders slumped.

He was so screwed.

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Quiz - Did you catch the song reference?

Kwon Yuri (Girls Generation) - The gold giving wife
Kang Daniel (Wanna One) - The Namjoon hating cop

I feel like this story has already reached peak level crazy & we're not even in fairytale land yet lol

Happy Halloween all!

Any questions? Feel free!

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Summary for the the title fairytale...

The Ridiculous Wishes ~ Charles Perrault

The story describes the life of an unsatisfied woodcutter who complained about the skies never granting him a wish. Then Jupiter appeared and told him that he will grant his wish but the woodcutter got scared. He thought that his wife would help him coming up with a wish to make them happier. The woodcutter didn't wish for something that would be life changing but he was happy that his life remained the same. He thought how it would be if he became a powerful man, a king but in the end, he helped his wife which, because of him, had a sausage on her nose. He wished for her getting the sausage off of her nose and they continued on living a happy and a modest life.

|Named for Namjoon's ridiculous wishes and equally as ridiculous results|