Why was I being punished for something that wasn't entirely my fault? I was being taken away from the place and people I loved most.

"It'll only be for the summer," mum said. Why then did it feel like I was leaving for good?

The gruelling images flashed before my eyes as I remembered how life escaped from Magenta's eyes, as she drew her last breaths. The blood formed into a puddle underneath her lifeless body with my hand placed on her open wound, trying to put pressure to avoid more spillage; but it was of no use.

"Leandra?" Mum's voice took me out of my reverie and back to reality, "are you ready honey? Your taxi's here."

"So you're not even taking me to the airport, is that it?" my voice sounded croaky even for me, I'd been crying.

"I have to get to work, your dad would be there waiting for you by the time you land."

"Why am I being punished? Why are you sending me away? I should be here, I need to be here to pay my last respects," tears welled up my eyes as I remembered my blood stained hands and clothes, "it should've been me, not Magenta."

"Don't you ever say that. Ever," she said in a stern voice, "your bags are packed, it's for your own good sweetie, it'll only be for the summer. I'll wait for you in the living room, get your stuff."

There it is again.

It felt like I was locked in a room with no ventilation and left to die. No one was coming to my rescue, and there would be no one to watch me die. I was all alone.

If only there was a way out, a way out of all this mess. A way to turn back time and never drag Magenta with me into that alley. It was my fault she was dead, she died because of me, because of my stupidity.

Now I was being sent to live with dad and his stupid girlfriend for the rest of the summer. Mum thought I might be suicidal, she didn't know that I overheard her conversation with my dad the day they both plotted to send me there.

Have I thought about taking my life since that night? Yes. Doesn't mean I was going to do it. I'm too much of a chicken to actually pull it off.

No one understood me, no one could really understand the depths of my pain and confusion. Sometimes, I wondered if there was someone out there who related to my pain and could tell me that everything would be fine.

How could I move on from this feeling of emptiness? Wes there a way for me to redeem myself from feeling guilty?

"I'm ready." I pulled my bag behind me as I walked into the living room to meet my mum.

"Good, let's go."

She sat beside me in the taxi until the driver stopped in front of her office building, "you will be fine baby girl, it will help you take your mind off things," she kissed my head, "I love you, don't forget it."

I watched her wave me goodbye as the car moved further away from her, until she was out of sight. This was going to be a long summer and I do hope dad and his girlfriend were ready for me.

Maybe mum could be right, it might be a way to help me take my mind off things and heal me from this hole in my heart.

I sincerely hope so.