Chapter 20: The Brightest Star in the Sky is You

When I came to, I found myself lying down in what looked like a hospital's accident and emergency department, surrounded by a steady hum of frenzied medical activity. Looking around groggily, I saw a tube that was connected to an IV drip secured to my arm. As I was searching for my missing mobile phone, a nurse approached me.

Checking my vitals and the IV drip, she gave me a reassuring smile. "Ms Shen Yan, your condition is stable now. You can leave once you complete the IV drip."

"Sorry, could you help me to sit up please?" I asked, still feeling confused as I gathered my thoughts. Had I fainted back at the car park? Was it because of my weak health? How was I transported here? Where did everyone else go? How would I return to the hotel?

As the nurse gently assisted me into a sitting position, I asked: "How long have I been unconscious for? Was there anyone that came with me?"

She checked the clipboard hanging at the end of the treatment bed before looking at her watch. "You were brought in and treated at around 9.20pm. It is 2.40am now. I'm not sure if there was anyone who had accompanied you here. I'll come by again when your IV drip is finished."

I glanced up at the bag of fluids hanging on the IV pole. There was still about ten percent of fluids left. Dropping my gaze, I noticed a small wooden cabinet next to the bed. Stretching, I reached over to open the door with my left hand and saw my crossbody bag. With some difficulty, I pulled the bag out and placed it on my lap, before rummaging through it for my mobile phone.

"Young lady, young lady." I heard someone call out in my direction just as I spotted my phone. My phone display showed numerous message notifications and missed calls.

Turning in the direction of the voice, I saw a late middle-aged woman looking at me with a smile on her face. She was wearing a cast around her leg and her face was slightly pale, but she still seemed to be in high spirits.

"I overheard your conversation with the nurse just now. When I came in, I saw a handsome young man sitting beside your bed; but I saw that he went out a few minutes ago."

"A young man?" I repeated, wondering if it was one of the members of Mobius Band. Chen Zhanwei, the youngest but most responsible member, perhaps?

"He was just sitting there silently for a few hours, staring at you, not moving from his spot," said the woman, the smile on her face growing wider as her eyes seemed to twinkle. "He looked really concerned about you."

I forced a smile, trying not to frown. Why did her description sound like a creep had been sitting beside me for the past few hours?

"There he is."

I turned my head in the other direction as Cheng Yujin appeared from behind the cubicle curtains, tucking his handphone into his pocket. "You're awake," he said, looking visibly relieved. He glanced at the IV drip bag before sitting down by my bedside. "The doctor said that you fainted due to low blood pressure. You can only leave after finishing the IV drip."

"Did the doctor say anything else?" I asked, studying his facial expression. Seeing how he was unable to sustain eye contact with me, it looked as if he was trying to hide the fact that he was aware of something. "Did the doctor say anything about my pre-existing condition?"

Cheng Yujin sucked in a deep breath and looked at me apologetically. "The doctor mentioned your condition—about your heart. He said that you need to take your medication as instructed, go for your regular check-ups and have plenty of rest."

"Ah, so you've found out," I laughed. "Do the others know?"

Shaking his head, he clarified, "after we brought you to the A&E, we were chased out by the nurses for being a nuisance. I stayed behind while Zhanwei drove everyone back. He will come to pick us up once we are done here." As he described the chaotic yet comical process of transporting me from the carpark to the hospital, we shared a brief moment of laughter.

When it ended, Cheng Yujin suddenly apologised.

I tried to reassure him with a smile. "Don't be. Everyone's days are numbered. It just so happens that this is how my destiny is written."

He shook his head, as if his words were stuck in his throat. After some humming and hawing, he finally made a confession with considerable embarrassment: "The others don't know, but Tan Qing knows now. She must have heard about you fainting from Liu Haoran and she gave me a call to check how you are doing, and I let slipped about your illness. I'm sorry about that."

Seeing him act this way, I was led to think that he had really accidentally told her about my health condition; but when I paused to think for a second longer, I recalled that Tan Qing was already aware of it. As Shen Yan's best friend, she should have known about it for years! At that moment, I had a sudden impulse to pull a little prank on him.

"Tan Qing?" I gasped exaggeratedly. "Oh, no. When she heard that, did she sound like she felt betrayed that I had kept such a major thing a secret from her?"

Pursing his lips, Cheng Yujin shook his head. He gave me a soft, remorseful gaze, the corner of his eyes slightly downturned.

I laughed. "Actually, Qing and Shanshan have known about it all along. Did you think that I was keeping it a secret or something?"

Cheng Yujin looked at me with a kind of disbelief, his lips tightening under a rapid frown. "Oh, I thought that you didn't want anyone to know about it."

"You're not wrong—but even though I wouldn't be upset if people find out about it accidentally, I wouldn't want the whole world to know about it."

The gaze in his eyes softened. "Don't worry. I'll keep it a secret for you."

I smiled in reply. "Thank you."

Half an hour later, when the IV drip was completed, Cheng Yujin went to call for the nurse. After some quick checks, she gave me the all-clear to leave the hospital. As I gathered my belongings and Cheng Yujin got ready to give Chen Zhanwei a call, the late middle-aged woman in the adjacent treatment bed called out to me to bid farewell.

"Take care and stay safe," she said, smiling and waving. "You are lucky to have such a caring boyfriend."

Caught off guard by her sudden remark, Cheng Yujin and I exchanged surprised glances before blurting out in unison: "Oh, no. We are just friends!"

Bringing a hand to her mouth as she hastily apologised. Still recovering from her state of fluster, she laughed. "Oh, I'm sorry for making such an assumption. I just thought that you two would make a lovely couple."

Blood rushed to my cheeks. I stole a sideways glance at Cheng Yujin and saw his usual polite smile. It suddenly struck me that it was the kind of unfazed smile that he would greet the media with. The kind of pleasant smile that he would greet his colleagues with when filming. It was the kind of professional smile which had just the perfect balance of handsomeness and maturity. It made people feel comfortable on the inside when they see it; but it was ultimately just a genuine business smile.

"We're really just friends," he said calmly with the same smile plastered on his face. Taking my bag from me in a gentlemanly fashion, he nodded respectfully to her and added, "we'll be leaving now. Wishing you a speedy recovery."

The woman expressed her thanks and waved again. I waved back shyly before tottering after Cheng Yujin towards the exit of the hospital.

The night air was cool and silent. We sat on a bench in a small park opposite the hospital as I stared at the dark silhouette of mountain ridges looming in the distance behind the hospital. Beside me, Cheng Yujin stretched out his neck and let out a weary yawn. I felt an oncoming yawn but stifled it.

Having accompanied me all night in the hospital, fatigue was written all over his face. I wanted to suggest that he could take a quick snooze while I kept watch, but before I could, Chen Zhanwei called to say that he would be reaching in about fifteen minutes' time.

Relaxing into the bench, Cheng Yujin slid slightly down the bench and found a comfortable spot at the top of the backrest for his head.

While I was thinking that he must have succumbed to exhaustion, he suddenly remarked in a low, velvety voice: "The sky is very clear tonight. There are so many stars."

I looked up at the night sky dotted with dozens of twinkling stars with quiet reverence. In that moment of quiet contemplation, I recalled the conversation we had during the camping trip. At that time, as I was trying to keep my identity as a time traveller a secret, I was unable to express my true thoughts and to say everything that I had wanted to. But I could now.

"In my past life, when you were a celebrity, you were the brightest star in the sky to us," I said slowly, rousing us from the dreamy silence. "But even the brightest stars in the sky are many many light-years away from us. Dazzling, yet distant. That's how I first met you. That's how all of us know you."

Cheng Yujin sighed and sat up. Laughing silently to himself, he rejoined, "stars will die and fizzle out one day. Even the brightest ones do."

I bit down on my lip and looked at him sideways, but he didn't return the gaze and continued staring up at the sky.

"Look—I just saw one very bright star go out," he exclaimed, extending a finger in the air. Frowning, I searched the lights in the sky but it was certainly a pointless exercise.

"Are you sure that it wasn't a satellite? Sometimes when it seemed like a star has disappeared, it is in fact just a satellite which stopped reflecting light," I queried, recalling something which I had previously read on the web.

"Oh." Cheng Yujin crossed his arms and looked down at the ground. After a brief pause, he nodded thoughtfully. "I guess it could be; but, I do want to see a star disappear from the sky,"

"Hm?" I looked at him, startled by his words. "What do you mean?"

The corner of his lips curved upwards into an enigmatic smile. Standing up, he signalled to me that it was time to leave.

"Some people say that stars in the sky are loved ones who have passed on," he answered as we headed towards the empty road. His slightly airy and mellow voice rang out in the stillness of the wee hours of the morning. "If I have the chance to turn back time to save the person that I love, won't there be one less star in the night sky?"

"The person that you love?" I echoed, my ears pricked up at the sound of melons.

"Since I accidentally stumbled upon your secret, I'll let you in on one of mine," said Cheng Yujin, his voice carrying a mix of regret and resilience. "I've lost someone dear to me before."

His words lingered in the air as I search for the right response. Seeing the hint of of sorrow in his eyes, I swallowed nervously before probing gently.

"A family member? Or your lover?"

A small smile appeared on his face as he looked down at the pavement and shifted his weight. "I wouldn't say she was my lover, but she is someone whom I loved. Before I had a chance to ask her to be with me forever, she was already gone."

"I'm—sorry to hear that. When was this?"

"In my past life," he said, before drawing in a deep breath, as if gaining courage by this action. "In this timeline, she hasn't appeared in my life yet. That's why I need to do all that I can to protect her when I still have time to do so. That's also why I cannot become a professional singer-songwriter again."

I offered a soft hum while nodding slowly. As I ruminated on his secret, I felt my brows furrowing.

In his past life? In this timeline? Why did it sound familiar?

A girl whom Cheng Yujin adored and had an unrequited love for, but at the present moment in 2013 they were still strangers.

A mysterious "goddess" who was a professional singer whom Cheng Yujin had written songs for, but had not made a debut.

Were they the same person? Was this unrequited love of his a fellow singer whom Cheng Yujin knew in his previous life through the course of work, but they had gotten into an accident in 2022 and she passed on while Cheng Yujin time travelled, and so now he was trying to prevent that accident?

"Is she the 'goddess' that your friends mentioned previously?" I asked.

After a short pause, he replied with a little surprise in his voice: "Yes."

I looked up at him and beamed. "If you'll allow me to, I would love to help you to protect your love too, as a friend and as a fan."

For a moment he stood still, looking as though he really was considering my offer; then he smiled faintly. "Thanks for the thought. If only all fans were like you."

Nodding, I insisted: "Most of us are! In fact, there is a saying in the fan circle that based on your onscreen behaviour, we can tell when you were dating and when you were not."

"How?" Cheng Yujin asked, trying to mask his disbelief behind a polite, inquisitive smile.

I ignored his reaction and continued, "During those times when you appeared depressed, chances are you either had a big fight with your girlfriend or you had recently broken up. And when you appeared to be in high spirits, it was clear that you were happily in love and dating."

He pondered seriously for a moment before shaking his head with slight frown."That sounds like an unreliable way to make guesses. It could just be my personality or the way those videos were edited."

I shrugged. "Perhaps. But the same logic applies to ordinary people."

Cheng Yujin tilted his head to the side and crossed his arms. "Are you speaking from experience?"

"No—I...I'm just saying that your fans have made the comment that you need to date someone you love so that you won't have such a pessimistic outlook in life anymore during those periods when you felt depressed," I stammered, feeling my cheeks heat up.

"But—that reasoning doesn't really hold," he rejoined gently. "Dating someone doesn't guarantee everlasting happiness. To enjoy true happiness in relationships, one has to first be happy as an individual. Counting on the other party to find happiness when you're originally depressed is unfair to that person. No matter how much love and patience that that other person have, it will eventually run out."

I gazed at him thoughtfully. "I agree with you only to the extent that you should not be dating just to seek happiness. But I don't agree that love and patience will eventually run out. Even though it is impossible for human beings to love unconditionally, relationships and marriage should be founded on commitment. And out of that commitment comes love and patience. When the relationship is stable, even if you are by nature a pessimist, I suppose that you will be able to find happiness."

"It sounds like you are saying that commitment is your security in a relationship or marriage," he replied with a smile.

I nodded firmly, looking him straight in the eye. "That's why I have resolved that I will never get a divorce when I get married. The marriage only ends if I die."

Cheng Yujin brooded silently for a moment, a smile tugging at his lips; then he said: "I like the sound of that. But to me, the marriage will not end even if my partner passes on before me."

I examined him curiously, slightly surprised by his statement. "Does that mean that you won't want to remarry if you are a widower?"

"Yes," he answered, changing colour; then he lowered his voice to a whisper, soft enough only for himself to hear. "That's how far my 'commitment' will go, even if she is no longer around to see it."

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