Kabanata 14

Madame

We both can feel my wetness. O baka sinasadya ng galaw niya iyon pero hindi ko na alam. I was too busy with my own pleasure. I tried to remove his arm on mine but my half-hearted attempts are failing.

Our doors were closed but the windows were still half opened. I heard him closing his side of the window. Inabot niya rin ang side ko at sinarado niya. Kasabay ng ginagawa, his finger is teasing me. Not dipping enough to reach my core, just enough to give me so much pleasure.

I half-heartedly tried to push his hand away but it only worsened. My moves made it more pleasurable. Hindi ko napigilan ang pag daing. He leaned closer to me, slightly putting his lips on my ear. I was posigtive he's going to judge me but he didn't. Nakatanggap lang ng marahang halik.

Because of that, and his finger on my entrance, slightly teasing me, I let out a long moan.

"Shh..." he whispered and slowly put his other hand on my lips.

It was just on time. I convulsed right away, feeling the building up heat slowly crumble intensely. I moaned louder but was muffled by Royce's hand. My body shook with so much intensity.

Royce eyes darted at me. I heard his soft curse as he tried to reach out for my window and close it. At kasabay ng ginawa niya ay ang pag-angat niya sa akin. He removed his hand on mine. I was still enjoying the intensity of my own pleasure when he made me stand in front of him.

Mabuti na lang at napansin niya ang panghihina ko dahil kung hindi'y humandusay na ako sa sahig. He removed my jeans frantically. Nakahawak siya sa baywang ko para hindi ako mahulog. I tried to pull his pants down but his fly wasn't open yet, isa pa nanghihina pa ako.

I saw how he managed to frantically remove his belt. Tinapon niya lang sa upuan ko. He pulled down his pants and then his boxers, freeing his manliness.

I was drunk that night but I slightly remember it to be huge. At nang nahawakan ko siya kanina, iyon din ang nasa isipan ko.

Before I could remove my pants on my right feet, he already lifted me. Naupo siya sa upuan niya. Malaki iyon kaya walang kahirap hirap nang ilapag niya ako. Ang parehong tuhod ay nakatuko sa magkabilang gilid niya sa upuan. His masculinity slightly touch my still throbbing part.

Hindi niya na pinatagal iyon. He was clumsily putting me in place, almost as if it's the end of his world if he won't do it fast!

I was so consumed by pleasure. I didn't care what this means or its consequences. I cried out when he entered me. Saglit kong naalala ang lahat dahil doon.

"Damn it, Royce! Cond-"

"Shh!" he kissed me so I wouldn't say more.

Nag-aagaw ang wisyo at ang kamunduhan sa akin. It hurt like hell so we all know which one is winning.

"I said, damn it! Where's the condom?!" I growled.

He sighed heavily and instead of answering, he slightly pushed and pulled me harder.

"Royce!"

He put his hand on my mouth to stop me from talking. It damn hurts and the pleasure was gone, kaya kayang kaya ko nang isipin ang ibang bagay.

"I'll pull damn out," he whispered while thrusting me.

Kinagat ko ang labi ko at bahagyang uminit ng katawan ko sa bulong niyang iyon. However, the pain he is causing me is really too much. Any pleasure from his words is gone by the moment. But then his thrusting changed a bit, and slightly the pleasure that pushed me to the edge is back!

Mas bumilis iyon. He was cursing slightly and no matter how hard I try to stay silent, my moans would escape!

He was thrusting me so hard and fast that I was moaning, not thinking anymore of our situation! Nag-aagaw sa akin ang sakit. But then Royce was being so aggressive. It was as if he couldn't stop himself. Feeling his force and watching him gave me a tingling sensation!

He grunted and slowed down. He pulled himself out and I saw him throbbing while spilling himself on my lower abdomen. Namilog ang mga mata ko nang bahagyang bumaba iyon sa akin.

"Damn it, Royce!" saway ko at agad inabot ang tissue na nasa partition namin.

Nag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin. Hindi ko tuloy namalayan na pati ang tips ng sleeveless shirt ko ay nalagyan na rin!

Nakahawak siya sa likod ko at parang ayaw pa akong pakawalan. He tried to reach out kissing my lips. Saglit nga lang dahil itinulak ko siya para mapunasan na ang sarili.

I was busy wiping his fluids on mine. Matagal bago ko narealize na nakahubad ako ng pang-ibaba samantalang ibinaba niya lang ng kaunti ang maong niya kanina. Tama lang para pakawalan ang sarili.

I cannot believe it! We were both silent that whole time. Nagsuot lang ako ng pajama na provided ng airlines bago ko hinalughog ang handcarry bag. Good thing I kept clean clothes on it. Kumuha agad ako ng bagong mga damit at wala nang sinabi, umalis na sa upuan namin.

Nakapagbihis at nakapag linis na ako sa sarili pero nanatili ako sa malaking bathroom ng first class.

I cannot believe you, Schuyler!

Sinapo ko ang noo ko habang iniisip ang nangyari. That was very fast! Ni hindi na kami naghalikan. There was no prelude and yet I reached the top. He did, too!

Ni hindi na siya nakapaghubad! Tamang palabas lang ng kanya! Samantalang ako, may damit pa at nakapatong sa kanya.

And boy, I didn't notice how the flight attendant looked at me a while ago but for sure... it was awful.

Maingay kaming dalawa atg nasisiguro kong alam na ng lahat ng nasa tabi namin ang nangyari!

Natawa ako, hindi dahil masaya kundi dahil mababaliw na yata ako. Paano nangyari iyon? Oh my goodness, Schuyler, are you kidding me?

You don't like him, right? You hate him. You're annoyed with him but here you are, with just one touch, you are moaning! May pakapit pa sa brasong nalalaman, tatanggalin kuno pero ang totoo gusto pang iencourage!

What the hell is wrong with me?

Okay, let's calm down. Royce did it too. Gigil niya rin naman akong tinanggap, ah. And he urged me to the edge. He pushed himself to me even if he hated me. He liked it.

Hindi lang ako ang may kasalanan dito, siya rin. He hated me but he still fucked me.

Hindi nga lang tuluyang natanggap ng isipan ko dahil kahit naman marami akong eskandalo, may kaunting dignidad ako pagdating sa bagay na ito! Royce was a manwhore. He'd probably cum fucking anyone! Meanwhile, I couldn't even get into the mood with Zane, enough to do it with him. Kaya bakit? Bakit ngayon ganito?

Okay, I'm already an adult. I have hormones. Kaya mas matindi siguro ngayon? Hindi ko na alam...

Gusto kong maiyak pero hindi pa ako ganoon ka-drama para tumulo ang mga luha ko. Lalo na tuwing may bumubulong sa isipan kong nasarapan naman ako!

I don't know how to face Royce right now. What if he'll tease me? Iisipin niya ba na gusto ko siya? Iisipin niya ba na hindi ako makapagpigil pagdating sa kanya?

Na may... hidden desires ako? That's horrifying to think about!

No way!

That was a mistake, Royce. Should I say that?

Of course, yes! Alangan namang sabihin ko na puwede kaming maglaro ng ganoon habang mag-asawa pa. To just enjoy this marriage while it lasted? Para lang din naman itong hook up pero regular lang namin ang isa't-isa dahil convenient?

But damn, why am I thinking about that? Ano ang iisipin niya, Sky? Na nasasarapan ka kaya gusto mo na siyang regular hook up?

At madedeny ko ba iyon kung nakita niya naman ang mga reaksiyon ko? Hindi ko na talaga alam...

Lumabas ako sa bathroom. Naka puting dress na, birheng birhen at malinis na malinis. I can really hear voices in my head judging all my choices right now.

Naupo ako sa seat namin at sinarado agad ang pintuan. Wala si Royce doon at napanatag agad ako. At least I have the time to think about it.

Should we talk about it or I just stay silent? If I stay silent, I know the problem would end. Pag uusapan at pag uusapan din namin ito lalo na't pag-uwi sa Pilipinas, magkasama na kami sa condo niya!

Hindi mo ba makita na pareho kayo ng nararamdaman kanina. Did we suppress it so much the whole three days that it just suddenly exploded? At ang pinakanakaka-bother pa, sa eroplano namin ginawa! Sa upuan niya! What the hell, Schuyler! So much for your dignity!

Hindi mo nga naibigay sa lalaking gusto mo ang virginity mo, nang natuto ka naman nawalan ka kaagad ng hiya at dignidad!

Napatalon ako nang pumasok si Royce. I cleared my throat to cover up my shock. Diretso ang tingin ko sa screen ng inuupuan ko at naghanap na lang muna ng magandang movie. Nasa kandungan ko na ang earphones na provided din doon.

I can sense that he's watching me. Parang kaunti na lang ay kakausapin niya na ako. Imbes na ignorahin ang nangyari, nagpasya na akong makipag-usap.

"Well, that was a mistake. You touched me so naturally, an adult like me, with my hormones, I get carried away."

Nagtaas siya ng kilay. Ilang sandali pa kaming nagtitigan. Hanggang sa napansin kong nakapagbihis na rin siya ng gray v-neck t-shirt at dark pants naman ngayon. He looked refreshed. Iniisip ko kung after sex glow ba iyon at halata din ba sa itsura ko? Oh my goodness!

"We shouldn't do it again. I mean... I won't do it again!"

He sighed and licked his lips. Matagal bago siya tumango at nagsalita.

"I agree. We shouldn't do it again."

"That's nice to hear that we're on the same page. Kasi hindi ako komportable. It's just really the tension because you know..."

"Okay. We won't do it again."

"Deal," I said awkwardly.

Tumitig lang siya sa akin. Naghintay ako ng dagdag na sasabihin niya pero walang dumating kaya lalong naging awkward ang titigan.

"Manonood lang ako ng movie," sabi ko.

Tumango rin siya at bahagyang nataranta. Pinindot niya rin ang pang activate ng screen niya.

"Right! That was what I was planning to do, too."

Natapos ko man ang napakahaba at pangit na palabas, pinilit ko pa ring manood ng isa pa dahil hindi ko kakayaning makipag-usap kay Royce.

Nag-order kami ng pagkain. Nang naihatid na ang courses na pagkain namin, nag-offer ang flight attendant na i-transform ang partition namin into a table for two.

"Ah, no need. We're both watching a different movie so I'd rather have our food separated on our separate tables."

Pumayag naman ang flight attendant. Pero may sinabi pa siya.

"You could also make a double bed if you want to sleep after eating and watching a movie. We can transform your partition and seats into a double bed, enough for you too."

Napawi ang palakaibigang ngiti ko sa flight attendant.

"No, this is fine, thank you!" si Royce naman ngayon.

"Oh, okay. I'll... come back with your first course."

Kaya pagkatapos kumain at dalawang movie na napanood, naghanap pa ulit ako ng bago pang mapapanood. Royce, I don't know with him. Hindi ko na sinilip kung ganoon din ba siya pero nanonood din siya sa screen niya.

Iyon ang kauna-unahang pagkakataon sa pagsakay ko ng eroplano na hindi ako natuwang nagland na sa Manila.

Parang sobrang laking problema ang kinakaharap ko. Not that talking with Royce in that God forsaken cabin is a good feeling either.

Hindi kami nag-uusap pababa ng eroplano hanggang sa airport. We both minded our own businesses. At mas natahimik pa nga ako nang pumasok agad ang maraming tawag sa kanya.

Napasulyap tuloy ako sa cellphone ko para i-check naman ang akin. Walang tawag doon pero may text galing kay Mama.

Mama:

I hope you are well rested now, Sky. I hope you had fun in that vacation with Royce. Your things are already sent to Royce's condo days ago. Kahapon ay kaunting mga damit na lang ang dinagdag. Hope you two can visit the mansion tonight for dinner. Your dad misses you a lot.

"Yes, Sir. Palabas na po kami. There's no problem," I heard Royce.

When he's on that formal tone, I have no doubt that he's talking to my father.

He chuckled. "We had fun, Sir. Sky enjoyed the... vacation," sabay sulyap ni Royce sa akin.

Pumasok na ako sa SUV na maghahatid sa amin papuntang masiyon. I immediately put on more perfume, as if what I put before leaving the plane wasn't enough for me. Pakiramdam ko sa dami ng experience ng mga magulang ko, maamoy nila kung anong nangyari sa amin.

Damn it! Ni hindi namin nagawa sa Maldives! Sa airplane pa talaga!

At syempre, bakit ba mag-iisip pa ng masama ang parents ko? Hindi ba nila sinali sa pag-iisip na ang pagkakanulo sa akin sa lalaking ito, kasali na doon ang maikakama niya ako? So they both must be expecting us to have consummated this marriage.

Huwag nilang sasabihing hindi iyon kasali dahil hindi naman totoo?! That's what they get for doing this, as if it's the only way to solve the problem!

Sa totoo lang, medyo napanatag ako pagdating sa bahay. Hindi na rin masama na dito kami pumunta agad. Ayaw ko pang umuwi at maiiwan na naman kami ni Royce na dalawa.

Kaming apat lang ang nasa hapag. Umuwi na ang mga kapatid ko at may pinagkakaabalahan na. They only both asked about the villa and the sceneries. Naikuwento ko rin ang tungkol sa pagsho-shopping dahil na-appreciate naman ni Mama ang dala kong palamuti para sa bahay.

Kalaunan, Papa and Royce proceeded to talking about work. Na maraming naghihintay na trabaho kay Royce at miss na siya ng mga empleyado.

"Is my office ready?" tanong ko.

Kumunot ang noo ni Papa sa akin. Akala ko siya ang sasagot pero ang nasa tabi ko ang sumagot.

"It is."

Uminom ng tubig si Mama at tumitig sa akin. Para bang isang palaisipan kung bakit hindi namin napag-usapan ni Royce ang tungkol dito.

"Bago tayo kinasal, nagbilin na ako na aayusin ang opisina mo."

"Where did you put her, Royce?" si Papa.

"Pareho ba kayo ng palapag?" si Mama.

"Hindi po. I don't know yet what Sky wants but I put her in between the design team and finance department."

"I'd like to lean more on the interior design team," sabi ko.

Tumango si Royce. "Then the office I prepared is perfect."

"Hmm. Okay. I guess no need to check on her from time to time, no, Royce? Medyo malayo kayo ng opisina, ah," si Mama.

"No, I think she can perfectly do it without my supervision."

I cleared my throat. He's right. At gusto ko rin namang maging independent lalo na tuwing naiisip ko na siya ang tutulong pero bahagya naman akong nakaramdam ng pressure.

"The news about the wedding was very good. Wala na gaanong masasamang salita at mukha namang naniniwala na ang lahat," si Papa.

"Except for the minor things like why is your honeymoon just three days." Tumawa si Mama. "Sinagot ko naman ang tanong iyon na marami ka pang tatrabahuin."

"They won't understand how hectic the business world is. These people really think you can be gone for a long time without problems," si Papa sabay tawa ng walang humor.

"Aside doon, 'yong iinterviewhin lang namang... lawyer ba 'yon ang problema. So I guess this is a good start, right?" nagtaas ng kilay si Mama kay Royce.

I gritted my teeth at my mother. What the hell? Is that pressure on him?

"Yes, Madame. Wala po itong problema."

"Royce, Mama na ngayon. At Papa para kay Brandon."

"No, he can still call us the same. I think people won't think about it too much. We're in the corporate world, sweetheart," si Papa sabay tingin kay Mama.

"Pero maghihintay pa ba tayo ng intriga at magpapaliwanag pa? Mama at Papa na, Royce."