TITLE: Selfish Sibling
WORDS: 2,034
COMPLETED: 7/5/21
[ R E Q U E S T ]

I never really have been a gentle creature. Perhaps it was my last name that made me calloused, resulting in death seeming like a normal part of life. Maybe it was the fact that I've watched each and every member of my family become associated with the Dark Lord: Voldemort. It could also be that Draco, my older brother, was trapped between doing what he wanted and what my father wanted. Though, realistically, it had to be due to the fact that 'love' meant something completely different in my family.

To the Malfoys, love was not allowing your child to witness their first murder until they were twelve. Love was doing everything in your power to make sure your little sister wasn't miserable. Love was wanting your children to submit themselves to a tyrannically ruler. Love was sneaking out of the mansion, with your sibling, in the dead of night to meet up with Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley. Love was holding your tongue when your sibling did something forbidden, taking the beating for them. Love was beating the inner-child out of your kids, leaving them with no dreams or goals; only the harsh reality of every situation. Love was sneaking into your older brother's room to aid him with his Herbology project that was due the following day. Love was something that had to be shown, not felt. Love was harsh. Love was bipolar. Love was empty.

So maybe that was why I stormed into my Defense Against the Dark Arts class, slamming my books down on the table, and threw myself into my chair. These violent actions drew everyone's attention towards me, including the current professor for the class: Professor Dolores Umbridge. The professor only briefly looked up at me before sighing and going back to what she was doing.

"Late again, are we, Miss Malfoy? That's another detention," Professor Umbridge chided as I rolled my eyes, flipping my book open to the page that was written on the board.

Beneath the table, I felt a hand grab onto mine, and I was quick to wrap my fingers around it. The soft pad of a thumb rubbed over the back of my hand, attempting to calm me down. The individual's other hand slid me a slip of paper over the desktop, resulting in me leaning over to read it.

'We need to talk after class'

And that was about all it took to give me anxiety. Almost as if she was capable of sensing this, Ginny Weasley gave my hand another reassuring squeeze. It was nothing bad. And good thing, too, because I couldn't mentally handle anymore bad things, at the moment.

Ginny and I have been dating since our third year; in fact, she was the individual who taught me what love really was. She explained that the love we show at home was a fractured mess. And I couldn't disagree. Ginny displayed that love can be shown in many different ways: through actions, words, presents, spending time with one another, and physical touch. Having genuine kindness was something so foreign to me that I felt that I didn't deserve it. After all, my whole life I was given a shattered and mutilated version of love, so getting something that made me feel good about myself seemed strange.

Class continued per usual: Professor Umbridge droning on about classwork that would be due during our next class together, Ginny holding my hand, some of the other students intentionally speaking out of line in order to rile up Professor Umbridge, and about three more detentions handed out. When it finally ended, everyone was quick to rush out of the suffocating classroom. Once upon a time there were great professors who ran the Defense Against the Dark Arts class; especially in second year when we had Professor Remus Lupin.

"Okay, what's going on?" Ginny asked as soon as we were out in the hallway, matching one another's pace and keeping in step with one another.

"What do you mean?" I questioned, arching one of my eyebrows at her. The redhead let out an exasperated huff, giving me a slightly annoyed expression; I couldn't stop myself from laughing at her obvious frustration.

"(Y/N), you've been acting strange recently. Like... Really strange. Are you feeling okay? Is something going on at home that I need to know about?" Ginny asked as my eyes widened and understanding dawned upon me rather quickly.

Over the past few weeks, sleep seemed to be at odds with my mind. The few hours of sleep that I had managed to get were completely plagued with nightmares. I would find myself jumping awake in the middle of the night, hyperventilating and crying. It was always my parents. Draco would be there sometimes, too, but that was never a good thing. My father would beat me to death, my mother would sneer and shout at me for not being good enough, lastly there was Draco, who would blame everything on me. That was truly my biggest fear. Draco lived as the heir to the Malfoy family name, therefore he was required to obey my father. He didn't get his own life. I had night terrors of him screaming and begging me to take that off of his shoulders, but I'm far too selfish to do that. I could never imagine being the Malfoy heir.

Because of these night terrors, I've been growing more agitated and find myself falling asleep during classes. In fact, one of my other detentions from Professor Umbridge had been for sleeping in class and waking up sobbing. Ginny had asked me about that, but I was able to play it off as just one nightmare; I never shared the fact that these plagued dreams were recurring.

"No. Everything... I'm fine," I replied, uncertain as to whether or not I should even tell her anything. How would she react to hearing about these dreams? Would it be fair of me to place all of my own worries on her shoulders? But is it fair of me to keep all of this from her? This was the area in the relationship that I was bad at.

"Bullshit," She quickly replied, leading the way towards the Library. Currently, we were headed there so we could study for our upcoming Charms project.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked as she rolled her eyes.

"I don't know. How about you try the truth for once?" She retorted as I exhaled a sigh, knowing that I had been mentally backed into a corner. So I guess I should just tell her?

"Okay, fine. I've not been getting much sleep recently. And, when I do, it's filled with the same three recurring nightmares," I muttered, clutching my books close to my chest as we made it into the Library, walking towards a vacant table that was located in the back of the large room. We took our seats, beginning to open up books.

"Of what?" She pressed next, arching an eyebrow. Though, she was seeming less aggressive. Now, she appeared to be a mix of intrigued and worried. I met her eyes, holding intense eye contact with her; she looked back with an unwavering expression.

"My father... Hurting me. My mother telling me that I'll never be good enough. My brother telling me... Telling me that he blames me for making him be the Malfoy heir; therefore he begs for me to take his place. To allow him to have a life. He wants a life with Harry. But I... I'm selfish and I can't because... Because I don't want a life without you," I whispered, fixing my eyes on the book in front of me. She slid the book away from me, observing me with worried eyes.

"(Y/N)... Don't ever think that it's selfish to want to get the most out of your own life..." Ginny breathed out to me, placing a finger beneath my chin and lifting my head to meet her gaze. She offered a small smile, utilizing her other hand to mess with my hair.

"But it is selfish... If it was one of your brothers, wouldn't you?" I asked as she shook her head.

"No. Because that will never happen. The one being selfish in that exchange would be the brother. And, from the things you've told me, Draco would never do that to you. He cares about you and your happiness far too much. The two of you both throw away your own joys for one another constantly. You don't have to give up everything for him, though. You should never have to give up everything for anyone," Ginny explained with a sweet smile, using the pad of her thumb to brush over one of my cheekbones.

"As for your father, well, he'll get what's coming to him. And, if you're ever worried he's going to hurt you, you're more than welcome to stay with me and my family. And for your mother, well, just know that she's speaking lies. You're great, (Y/N). You're doing perfect. You are enough. And you're definitely more than enough for me," She added as I leaned into her touch, feeling so glad to have her here. I didn't deserve her.

"I love you, Ginny..." I breathed out, feeling a silent tear roll down my cheek. She wiped the stray tear away, leaning over the table and pushing a gentle kiss to my forehead.

"I love you, too, (Y/N). And just keep in mind that these are just your fears being displayed. They're not real. Your mind is just tricking you. If you'd like, you're more than welcome to stay with me until they become less frequent," She spoke as I grinned, wrapping her up in a tight embrace.

I felt Ginny scoop me up and put me on her lap, hugging onto me so tightly. My head rested against her shoulder while she rubbed careful circles on my back. Finally, I looked up at her and pressed a few gentle and tender kisses to her lips, feeling one of her hands caress my cheek; meanwhile my hands cupped the nape of her neck, fingers getting tangled up in her hair. The sweet kisses were everything to me, filling my soul up to the brim with a warm sort of joy.

"Do you really mean it? Can I stay with you?" I questioned as she weakly smiled, nodding and pushing another quick kiss to my lips.

"Of course you can. I've always wondered how nice it would be to share a bed with you..." She breathed as I laughed, feeling my cheeks heat up.

"Okay. I'd love to stay with you," I replied, grinning widely as she nodded. I felt her carefully rest her forehead against mine, both of us closing our eyes and just taking in one another's presence. Everything about Ginny made me feel a thousand times better.

"There is something else we need to talk about, though," She breathed as I laughed and nodded.

"Okay. What?" I questioned.

"Your brother likes Harry?" She questioned as I froze. Shit. I'd said too much.

"Don't you dare tell a soul," I demanded as she giggled and nodded.

"Draco's secret is safe with me," She replied as I grinned, knowing that she was telling the truth.

Ginny Weasley was my lifeline. She was my everything. If there was a world without Ginny Weasley, then I didn't exist there, either. She kept me feeling like a human, which was something I needed a constant reminder of; that may sound absurd, but it's really not. Malfoys are told that they're invincible and that no one is allowed to dislike them, but that's not how the world really works. Either way, Ginny was everything that I needed. She was my other half. She completed my soul. She aided me in feeling like... Well, me. And that was all that I needed. My heart completely belonged to her, and I'd never let her forget that. I'd never let her forget how much I love her.