~James POV~

"I will give you my consent." - I said confidently while I was leaning against the door frame.

Marian' s eyes grew in size as my words sunk in, and her face paled a little.

"I know you like me." - I continued, not giving her a chance for to come up with another reason to reject me again. I really wanted to get to know her, especially after that very personal moment we had on the couch earlier.

"I like you too, and you know what, I might be only seventeen, but I'm making my own decisions since I was twelve, so please don't try to make up some ridiculous reason why we cannot get to know each other better at least." - I continued, and my braveness started to fade away in me. She sat on the couch, and she stared at me, motionless.

"You .... you..., don't know anything about me!" - she said and I cut her off.

"Of course, that's true, so why don't you let me know you a bit?" - I asked back. I stepped into the sitting from, and proceeded to sit down beside her. She jumped up quickly, nearly knocking over the small coffee table. She was clearly in distress and I had a strong feeling I caused her agitation. I was struggling to come up with anything to make her calm down. I felt nearly defeated.

"I'm going to make hot chocolate." - she announced and left to the kitchen in a rush. She escaped from me. She escaped from the impending conversation that we must have before we decided what will happen next to us. I sat on the couch and tried to come up with some solution, how to convince Marian that I am a good guy and I know there was room to improve in my case, but I will always do my best.

It started to get cold nowadays, and obviously the shed I lived in, wasn't insulated at all, so I usually went there as late as I could and stayed in heated public places. So today I wanted stay with Marian for not only this reason, but I needed to see if she is really into me. No matter how selfish I looked, my priority was food and warmth.

On the other hand, I wanted her to see the real me, but I didn't want her pity. I didn't want her to see the homeless teenager, I'm going to be eighteen in a couple of month, I want to go forward with my life. I'm not going to be homeless forever, as soon as I finish my leaving certificate I'll get a job and will do some evening college course. That's the plan so far. I wanted to show Marian that I'm capable of looking after myself... and eventually her.

"Yes, that's what I'm going to tell her."- I murmured under my nose.

"What do you want to tell to whom? Here are the hot chocolates, by the way." - she raised her eyebrows as she inquired about my muttering.

I decided to be brave and tell her what's on my mind, and eventually we can move forward somehow from this standstill.

"Marian, I meant, what I said to you earlier. I'm giving you consent to get to know me, if you wish. Also, I wanted to say, I paid for my last semester in school, I will graduate with straight A's next May. Then I'll sort out my life.... and I kind of want to date you." - I blurted out at once. Uttering these last bits of my short speech made me go so red that I physically felt my cheeks burning. "What an embarrassing moment of my life!"- I thought as I waited for her reaction this time.

The shock on her pretty face was clearly visible. She held the tray close to her body, then slowly lowered it to the coffee table and once again, sat down onto the ottoman.

"But....but..., we don't really know each other!" - she retorted.

"Well, is it an excuse? Because last time I've heard you wanted me to sleep here..." - I trailed off slowly.

She went silent on me, and looked at me with eyes that I couldn't read. I could nearly see the myriad of questions swimming in his head though.

"That's right. So what are you saying is..... We should get to know each other better, right?" - she said after a long minute of silence.

I waited a moment to collect herself.

"Marian, there is nothing wrong in it. I think the legal consent is 16 in England, isn't it? It shouldn't be a problem. No one will come and complain, I have no one!" - I said and by the end of my sentence, my voice broke and I hated myself for it.

I hated being this weak.

Sometimes, the fact that I was on my own in this world still affected me badly. I was lonely, and often scared of my circumstances. But I got by, I managed, I had to. My parents brought me up to become a strong person, and I knew they would love to see me now, because without nothing, nobody's help, I'm still alive. I'm surviving.

Tears sprang into my eyes.

I quickly got up and stepped to the window, pretending to look out to the street. I didn't want Marian to see my tears. I heard her moving behind me, then felt her arms sneaked around my stomach, she leaned into my back in a swift but gentle motion.

"It's not your fault." - she said.

My tears started to fall, like a dam broke inside me, as silent sobs shook my body, I felt Marian turning around me and I buried my head into her. I didn't want her to see me cry, and at the end it still happened. It was such an exhilarating moment, I have never given a thought of grieving for my parents properly. I have never really cried apart from their burial service. Was it the time to let them go? Questions were swirling in my head, as I buried my head into Marian' s chest as I wept silently.

We stood there for God knows how long, it was really dark outside, the street light shone into the small living room. Our entwined shadows looked so romantic on the floor , but we both knew, it was rather a sad sight of us.

"My parents were killed in a road traffic accident on the A40 just five minutes from our home." - I said in a cryptic voice.

"The circumstances has never been investigated properly." - I continued.

Marian said nothing, just slowly caressed my hair, and waiting for me to continue. But the words stuck in my throat. I needed more time to continue to reveal the whole story, how I became homeless and why I had to get emancipated so quickly.

I was sixteen and broken that time. Now, a bit more than  a year later, I aged a bit, I matured, tough life on the streets made me learn my place in society. It wasn't easy, but inside, I was still the same teenager, with dreams, full of hopes, and desires. I still remember my friends I used to hang out with.  Unfortunately, as I've lost our house, and became homeless, suddenly nobody wanted me to hang out with me. Some friends are, yeah, I know.
I dropped out of school as I wasn't able to get there on time every day, sleeping rough didn't mean I had a stable place to sleep.

I silently sobbed into Marian's  chest, thinking about the events that led me into this dire situation and about how much I should tell her.

"I'm so sorry for your loss." - Marian said, and she kept caressing my hair.

"If you don't want to talk about it anymore, I understand." - she continued.

I cut her off before she could say something else.

"It's not like I don't want to, Marian. I just can't, not yet anyway, hope you understand." - I answered.

She nodded her head, I felt the way she moved her head.

"Of course, James, don't worry, I understand."

I sighed out in relief that I don't have to say more of my troubled past.

"How did we get into this topic, anyway?" - I asked her in disbelief.
____________________________________

We sat down on the couch later on, and drank our already lukewarm 'hot' chocolate. She gingerly placed her hand over my left arm, and slowly but surely we were cuddling, to my utter joy.

She was so beautiful. I still couldn't believe that she actually likes me. I had a baggage. A huge one. I was a person, basically with no address, no foreseeable future ahead of me. She took a huge risk to be involved with me. I could understand her hesitation, I know she feared of what people will  say about us. I saw it in her eyes. But I also see the subtle changes in her, the way she looked at me, the careful touches she made. It was all very subtle but it was there, I didnt imagine it. Her silent admission was the true meaning of our hesitantly starting relationship.

I felt her moving in my embrace, and I felt the need to tighten my arms around him. Just to make sure, she won't escape.

"So, are we going to talk about that kiss after all?" - Marian said in a soft voice, her voice came out muffled by my shirt, where her face was plastered to my chest.

I froze again, and as a matter of fact had know idea how to react at all. Why does she want to talk about it? I really didn't understand.

"I...I...why do we need to talk about I?" - I stammered it out somehow.

Marian shuffled herself in my arms, her pretty face was close to mine and I saw she was smiling. 

"Have you ever kissed a girl before?" - she prompted.

The words got stuck in my throat. I was sure I was burning up like a nuclear bomb. I took a huge gulp of air, before I attempted to say something to her. She just smiled, and waited patiently my answer.

"No. You are my first." - I replied, the embarrassment washing over me like a tsunami.

"Oh, this is so sweet!I like it so much." - she exclaimed and all of a sudden waved her fingers through my messy hair. She leaned closer to me, tiny sparks danced in her chocolate brown eyes just before she closed them.

Then she kissed me.

It wasn't that same, tentative kiss I attempted before. It wasn't just a gentle touch of our lips that I thought she wouldn't mind. No, it was something more than a basic, primal need to be closer to each other. I felt her trembling in my arms, as she fervently kissed me, and I subconsciously opened my mouth to grant her entrance. She did and I was in cloud nine suddenly. My body got so hot instantly that it was bordering uncomfortable, the sudden blood rush caused a huge problem in my jeans. She kept kissing me, her luscious lips covered my lips, her sweet tasting tounge exploring my cavity with meticulous attention. 

Although I was in seventh heaven, my  burning problem in my pants gave me a huge dilemma. What should I do in a situatuon like this? I just gave away that I was inexperienced and now I had a raging boner. I really didn't know what to do.

We slowly stopped kissing and I was eternally grateful for, because I just didn't want to become more humiliated. I already felt inadequate enough.

Marian sighed, she half placed herself on my lap, thankfully avoiding of my slight problem.

"You are a fast learner, James." - she said bashfully, while her fingers started to draw circles on my left arm.  I felt myself shiver and goosebumps started to form on my skin.
"The raging boner is not going to get any better."- I thought in myself desperately, I needed to stop this, before I make something disastrous.

I touched her hand, made her still in her movements.

"Uhm, Marian." -I started.

"I'm not that comfortable with this."- I heard myself saying. Inwardly screamed at myself and cursed, why did I have to ruin such a moment? I must be stupid or something.

"I know, I am not comfortable with it myself either." - she said it with a sad smile on her face. She freed her hand from my grasp, then she sat up a bit straighter in my lap. Then slid down beside me on the couch,pulled her legs up and hugged them.

"Promise me, if I tell you something, you won't bore disgusted with me."- she pleaded, her eyes held nothing but pure sadness.

"What do you mean? Why would I become disgusted with you?" - I responded with picked up interested, in the meantime my dick decided to lay low thankfully, as I sensed the serious tone in Marian's voice.

"I was dismissed from my PhD course because I kissed a teenager."- she said solemnly. She hid her face from me.

"Oh, but how old was he?"- I asked curiously.

"I think he was 17 like you."- her answer came muffled by her jumper.

"But what does this have to do with us?"- I asked.
"We are not working in the same place, and like I said, I am fully emancipated, with adult rights. Marian, why are you trying to sabotage this.....whatever is between us?" - I continued her beggingly.

She didn't say anything for a long time,I slowly started to caress her back, which was nicely curved because she leaned forward to hug her knees, hiding her face away from me.
Probably she was trying to decide how to react to my previous words. I kept my touches light, I hoped they were soothing the inner turmoil inside her somewhat.

"James, I understand what you just said. All I'm asking is just give me a little bit of time. Can you do that?" - she lifted her tearstained face, and looked at me sadly.

"Of course, I can wait. I'll give you a lot of time."- I rushed it out with childish excitement. Because this wasn't a rejection, right? It was a stand still, without decision, but it wasn't a straight out rejection.

I sighed and I realised that if it was confession night, then I needed to contribute to the events too, sharing my parents death with her was only a fraction of the truth.

"Marian, please won't freak out, I just want to say something about my parents."- I started hesitantly but I already made up my mind. She has the right to know my past.

"Ok, but only if you feel ready to share it with me. If it's painful memory, please don't push yourself." - she said looking at me encouragingly.

It was a bit hard to open up about my parents identity. When they died, it was on national news, but somehow their son didn't make it that far. I was never mentioned, and maybe this was for the best. That's why I was reluctant to disclose my surname to anyone. I liked to stay anonymous most of the time.
Marian looked at me inquisitively, her curiosity amused me to no end. I just hoped she won't turn away from me when she knows the truth. So I pulled myself together, stammering it out for once and all.

"My father was Lord Malcolm James Allbright."

A/N

So... there it is, Marian and James' s story continued but I feel their story is not moving forward the way I thought it would.
There are many secrets, and misunderstandings hindering their way to a proper relationship.

I'm not entirely happy with this chapter to tell you the truth. Somehow it felt the characters repeating themselves over and over again. What are your thoughts about it?

Who is Lord M.James Allbright?

Why is he so important?

What do you reckon, what will be Marian's reaction by hearing his name?

Why our poor boy was never mentioned when his parents passed away? Wondering...

So many questions to be answered next time.

Until then, my lovelies, I wish you a very

🎄Happy Christmas🎄,

and of course, happy reading!

LCF.