and i keep waiting for you to save me
and you keep waiting to save what we have

ONCE UPON A TIME WE WERE YOUNG

2017

Stacy knew that Jake wasn't mad at her, but there was still a weird silence between them when they got off the train in Budapest. It had taken dozens of transfers and a lot of time, but they made it to the Hungarian capital. The city was beautiful, with elegant buildings and small streets, but they weren't there on vacation, unfortunately.

"Can you tell me now what we are doing here?" Jake questioned, tired from not only their very long journey but also the eerie silence with which his wife treated him. He needed answers.

The detective walked behind Stacy off the train. Keeping one eye on her braided hair and the other on all the other passengers around. Their heads were low to avoid cameras, and silently, they moved through the crowd. It was a sunny day, pretty warm. A nice difference with the cold New York City. They didn't dare take off their jackets though, in Stacy's pocket were the vials.

"Do you remember those stories I would tell you of those three sisters? Back when we first started to date?" The blonde woman didn't look back to check whether her husband was following her or listening to her at all. She was more preoccupied making sure there was no threat around. It was dangerous to bring Jake with her, not only for his physical and mental wellbeing but also for their sacred marriage but the safest place for the Peralta man was right next to her at the moment. Where she could protect him. "All of those stories were real."

In the streets, people walked past without noticing them. Jake took a step back, his mind going to all of those tails he had thought were beautifully crafted in his wife's mind. All those stories, of pain, love and family. Of torture. They were all real. "What do you mean?"

"My name..." Stacy turned to look at Jake, knowing fully well that the course of their life was going to change forever. "—is Anastasia. Those stories were about me and my sisters. And right now, Yelena needs my help. Natalia is probably here too."

Jake's face had turned to this weird shade of colour, "Y-you weren't making a conspiracy theory. You were-I thought you were telling me the origin story of Black Widow but- but you are..."

"I am also a black widow."

Stacy rarely envied normal citizens with boring jobs and a house and bills, but a young girl walked through the streets with a smile on her face, talking with her friend happily, laughing, and a sting shot through her stomach. Must be nice to be carefree, oblivious.

But then Jake's shaking arm accidentally hit hers because of how close they were walking together, and all that jealousy disappeared.

She had everything she needed right here. Her life might be dangerous and tiring, and she might be on a dangerous mission with huge chances of an upcoming divorce but it was never boring and she wouldn't trade it for the world.

Without getting spotted, they arrived at the apartment. Jake had no further question, silently processing all of that information. Stacy had a bad feeling about entering but she knew she had to. She had to help Yelena but more importantly she had to get rid of the target that she had potentially put upon the B-99 and Jake. She walked towards the apartment because she had to, practically forcing herself to. Because she knew who would be waiting in there.

The gate into the courtyard creaked when Stacy opened it, her busy eyes shooting everywhere, analyzing everything. The people, the balconies higher up. Anything that could remotely be a threat. But there was nothing but a couple pigeons and some civilians hanging their clothes out to dry.

The rattly elevator let them in and with a lot of noise, brought them up to the floor one below the apartment. Stacy was nervous, exhaling deeply to try and get rid of the gnawing feeling in her chest. She either wished the elevator would hurry up or go back down so she could run away.

Jake wanted to tell her it'd be fine, but he felt that his relationship with Stacy was probably a huge scam, and anyway, the blonde woman never truly believed such words. Besides, the last thing she wanted right now was comfort. She'd probably glare or snap, with how tense she was.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, she was out, keeping her footsteps silent on the small tiles. Her eyes trailed over the area before they adjusted on the crouched figure on the floor. At once her gun was out, pointed at a red head that she once knew better than anyone. Right now, she looked more like a stranger she once knew.

Jake made a squeaky noice at the back of his throat, not-at-all-silently whispering, "OH MY GOD IS THAT THE BLACK WIDOW-"

"She was my sister," The woman spoke. Memories flooded her mind— a small house in Ohio, sisters, family. A strange anger surged through her. She wanted to ask Natasha so many things. Why did you never reach out? How can you pretend that the past never happened?

Natasha brought a careful finger in front of her lips, signalling that it was still dangerous.

Natasha came up with the white cloths that had wrapped under them some weapons . She was picking up a gun that she'd probably stored into the chimney in the hallway, behind some small metal doors. For a day exactly like this.

Natasha stood and hesitated, her eyes finally flickering up to Stacy. They held a mixture of sadness, stress, and guilt. ''Let me deal with her,'' she said. It sounded like a plea.

Stacy shook her head, gripping her gun a bit tighter. ''She is my sister too. I am coming with."

"I'm not gonna let you walk in there alone.'' Jake noted, if anyone was to ever question his presence there. He knew that Stacy was a much better fighter than him but he would lay his life down for her. This could be a trap. There could be more than one person inside. And with their previous assailant during the stake-out still fresh on their minds, it was simply not smart.

''She knows me better, and three people will feel like an ambush,'' Natasha countered, stuffing her gun into her waistband. She stared at Stacy expectantly, seeing how her blue eyes scanned her face and saw how much she wanted to do this herself. So the woman sighed and slightly narrowed her eyes in annoyance.

''Fine. Okay. But if I hear something I don't like, I'm kicking the door in anyway.'' She said.

''No," Natasha protested, shaking her head. "Stay here. I'll call you in. Trust me. I got this.''

"Okay and by the way, I am sure I know her better than you do."

Hesitantly, Stacy nodded. She wanted nothing more than to barge in if a fight broke out, but she had to respect Natasha's wishes of talking to their sister alone. As much as she was angered by the current situation, keeping Jake next to her as far away from the fight was priority.

They followed Natasha up to the apartment door, before she sat down next to her husband, comfortable against the wall while the redhead picked the lock. Or at least tried to. Because before it worked, a muffled voice traveled through the door, and both their hearts stopped.

''I know you're out there.''

Both Natasha and Stacy had to unfreeze themselves. A wall of emotions and memories hit the blonde woman head-first. Triggered by the voice with the strong Russian accent. Seeing Natasha was not as triggering as hearing Yelena was. Stacy knew she would meet the red head again but she thought Yelena go be dead.

''I know you know I'm out here,'' Natasha mumbled back, giving up on being subtle and just pushing the door open, her hand wrapping around her gun and tugging it out of her jeans.

''Don't kill her," Stacy quickly whispered before her sister could disappear. She received no answer, not even a nod or a glance, before the door closed. Or, actually, Natasha kicked it closed from the inside because both her hands were wrapped around her gun.

Jake's hand reached for her, a comfort. For a moment, the woman wondered how overwhelming this must be for him. To know all that he knew now...

"Are you okay?" It was a stupid question but it was still one that had to be asked.

Jake nodded and smiled at her, "This is a lot like a Die Hard movie."

It went against all Stacy's instincts to stand there and wait, especially when the fighting started. She knew that would happen, but without eyes on them, she couldn't know if the right person was winning or not. Natasha said she had to trust her, so she did, although her ears pricked for any sign of her name.

She prayed the neighbors wouldn't come and check what the hell was going on inside. Because things were breaking, and loud thuds and crashes came through the door. Although they probably suspected something shady was happening inside this apartment anyway. Did they know it was a safe house?

Impatiently, she tapped her foot up and down, readjusting the gun in her hand every few seconds. Right when she blew out a deep breath and leaned the back of her head towards Jake's shoulder, she heard a very faint, ''Ana. You can come in now.''

Stacy didn't hesitate for a second, barging through the door a tad too rude with her husband behind her.

''Ana is here, too?'' The Russian voice asked before detectives could find them. But when Stacy stepped into the living room, recognition filled the blonde woman's face. She smiled a bit before looking behind the woman and seeing Jake. She rolled her eyes and turned on her heels to move to the kitchen. ''Oh, great, you brought you boyfriend as well?''

''Nice to see you too, sestra,'' Stacy responded sarcastically, subtly checking around the room to make sure Jake would be fine. But Jake's physical pain wasn't the problem here. Seeing her sister again shook both the girls to their core. And Stacy had to admit, it was weird.

(It was weirder fir Jake, though. Especially now that Yelena was kind of his sister-in-law? So was Natasha, an AVENGER? In some weird and twisted way?)

''Ah, you remember me,'' Yelena spoke, rummaging through the fridge. It was obvious that this sarcastic tone of hers was here to stay. And even though Stacy hadn't seen her in... what, a decade? It felt familiar. She grew up with this girl, and she hadn't changed a lot. "Introduce us to the stranger, then.

Stacy shrugged and followed her Natasha to the round table in the middle of the kitchen. Jake stayed in a corner, obviously knowing this was not a moment to interfere. ''My husband. Jake, from NYPD''

"You got married? To a police officer?" Yelena grabbed a bottle of vodka from the shelf, kicking the fridge door closed. Her eye fell on Stacy's gun when she placed the bottle and some shot glasses on the table and poured them full. ''You can put that away, you know. We're obviously past the part where we try and kill each other.''

''Excuse me for not being able to trust you.'' But she put it away anyway. Yelena wasn't a threat. At least not at the moment. ''I mean, you did unintentionally send some robot soldier assassin after me and my husband. Caused an issue at my job. So thanks for that. And for luring us to this godforsaken nightmare of a city.'' When she realized how that sounded, she reached for a shot glass and downed it in one go. She didn't even flinch and ignored the stares.

''Has she always been this mean?'' Yelena questioned. But she was met with three plain faces and silence. ''Anyway, I came here because I thought you wouldn't. But since you're here, what bullet does that?'' Her hand gestured at some strange impact holes in the concrete wall.

Stacy and Natasha looked over their shoulders but it was actually Jake that answered. ''Not-not bullets. Arrows." He answered without any further explanation.

''Ah, right.'' Yelena wasn't helped with that answer in any way.

''If you didn't think we'd come here, why'd you send me this?'' Natasha slammed the vials on the table, placing the picture next to it so Yelena couldn't deny she sent them. Stacy also brought out the rest of the vials from her pocket, along with the piece of paper that portrayed a different life. Those three happy girls in the picture were so much different than the women glaring at each other now.

''You brought it back here?'' Yelena exclaimed, pushing past her and Stacy with quick steps. She knew she had to leave now, and wasted no time gathering some stuff.

Natasha swiped the picture off the table and stalked after her. ''I'm not here trying to be your friend, but you need to tell me what that is,'' she ordered. Her voice didn't leave any room for questions.

''And why we almost died because of it,'' Stacy added, walking the same stifling hallways. Something about this place had shivers running down her spine and the hairs on her arms rise. Just a general feeling of tension and anxiety hung in this building.

''It's a synthetic gas. The counteragent to chemical subjugation. The gas immunizes the brain's neuropathways from external manipulation,'' Yelena answered in one very long breath as she crouched down in front of a closet in one of the rooms and pulled a backpack out, filling it with stuff.

"What?" They all heard Jake exclaim.

The words had flown out of Yelena's mouth, and Stacy had to blink at the amount of information. Even Natasha's brain couldn't keep up.

''Maybe in English next time?'' Jake barged into the room as well.

''Противоядие от контроля над разумом. (It's an antidote to mind control)'' Yelena childishly responded in Russian, snapping the words at Stacy, who rolled her eyes.

''Очень зрелый. (Real mature)'' she snapped back over her shoulder, her back turned to the blonde. She turned to Jake, "Its an antidote to mind control."

"Mind Control? I-"

''Why don't you take it to one of your super-scientist friends? They can explain it to you.'' Yelena was still on her sarcastic warpath as she addressed Natsha. She had every right to be pissed because they brought her in danger again, but what did she expect? ''Tony Stark, maybe?''

''Oh, yeah.'' Natasha chuckled humorlessly, standing in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest. The name of her friend sent a stab through her chest. ''We're not really talking right now, so...''

Yelena groaned and threw her head back. ''Great. Perfect timing. Where's an Avenger when you need one?''

Natasha snapped around, getting fed-up with her tone. ''I don't wanna be here. I'm on the run. You could've gotten me killed.''

"Us killed," Stacy spoke up, "Do you know how many lives are at stake because I am here?"

''Well, what was I supposed to do? She's the only superhero person that I know and you are my sister. I need to help...'' Her voice faltered at the end, because Natasha had taken her shirt off, exposing her bruised back.

Purple, almost black spots bigger than the size of Jake's hand were littered all over them. From getting thrown around in the car crash and the fight afterwards.

Stacy stared at them sadly until they were covered by fabric once again knowing her own back was in the same condition. Seeing someone in pain was never nice, but when that person was your sister, it was even worse.

Yelena's voice was a lot gentler when she continued, now that she saw what her actions had caused. ''That was the whole reason I sent it to you. I kept checking the news, expecting to see Captain America or even the SWAT team bringing down the Red Room.''

Both Natasha and Stacy's muscles tensed, like their fight-or-flight response activated, and neither could give an immediate response.

That name was never mentioned. Ever. It was always 'The Academy' or 'The Program' or something vague. If they talked about it. Which also rarely happened. That chapter was very much off-limits. Not a part of the story they ever want to go back and read. It triggered so much loss, pain and loneliness. And self-hatred.

She only ever mentioned it once to Jake and had let that be that.

Natasha was the first to snap out of it, swinging her jacket on while following Yelena around the apartment again. More specifically, towards the small armory. ''What? Taking down the Red Room? What are you talking about? It's been gone for years. Dreykov's dead. I killed him.''

Stacy swallowed back whatever she wanted to say. She knew that wasn't true.

Silently and in a bit of a trance, the husband and wife stood next to her, hoping to be some sort of support. But Stacy's stomach had some weird feeling swirling in it, and she knew whatever Yelena was about to tell them.

''You don't actually believe that, do you?'' the blonde scoffed, loading her backpack with weapons. But when she was met with silence, she stopped her actions and studied Natasha, standing in front of her. ''You really do believe that.''

Stacy knew better. As far as she knew, Natasha thought she killed him.

Yelena looked at Stacy, "You didn't tell her?"

''Dreykov's dead,'' Natasha confirmed with full confidence. ''It took almost destroying the entire city just to get to him.''

Yelena looked her dead in the eyes, calmly, like a challenge. ''If you're so sure, then tell me what happened. Tell me exactly.''

''Yelena,'' Stacy warned. This was the changing moment for all of them, when all the three sisters were for the first time separated, and she kept pressing Natasha about it. But the redhead entirely ignored Stacy.

''We rigged bombs,'' she said, more hesitantly, her confidence faltering.

''Who's ''we''?''

''Clint Barton.'' Stacy couldn't listen to this. She shifted her weight uncomfortably, looking at her feet instead of Yelena's face across from her. ''Killing Dreykov was the final step in my defection to S.H.I.E.L.D.''

Easy as that. Kill a man, better your own life. She didn't have an ex-lover vouching for her. Had to do all the hard work on her own. Stacy could only imagine how lonely she had been. Her mind wandered back to that day, to the bombing. The "Yelena, we need to go," and the, "Leave without me," she got back.

In the present, the youngest sister studied Natasha with disbelief in her eyes. ''Simple as that?''

Natasha, couldn't believe that word just left her mouth. She gave Yelena a disbelieving look and muttered, ''Yeah, sure, ''simple''.''

She had the same idea as Stacy before, needing something to help numb those memories. So she walked off towards the kitchen, her voice drained of all energy when she spoke again. ''That's what I'd call imploding a five-story building and then shooting it out with the Hungarian Special Forces. Took ten days in hiding before we could even get out of Budapest.''

Stacy had to hide behind a dump area for a week before she could walk off what happened.

Natasha downed the shot of vodka as easily as Stacy had done, her eyes distant. She did a good job keeping the fear out of her eyes, but refused to look up.

"You guys were the ones who did the bombing?" Jake whispered thinking he won't be heard but he received a sorry nod from the oldest black widow.

''And you checked the body? Confirmed the kill?'' Yelena asked. It was obvious what she meant to say, what she wanted Natasha to realize. But the woman wasn't ready to hear that the person she thought couldn't hurt her anymore, was alive and well after all this time.

''You should atop,'' Stacy warned. It was too much for Natasha. Too much to handle at once. She knew the look her sister had by now. She has had that look before. And it wasn't a good one. But her words fell on deaf ears.

''There was no body left to check.'' Natasha's voice faltered slightly. She needed out of this conversation, quickly, turning on her heels and stalking off. But in the middle of her journey to the hallway, it was actually Stacy's voice that froze her in place.

''You're forgetting Dreykov's daughter.''

Time stopped. Or some dramatic background music boomed loudly. Natasha couldn't move, and Stacy had to force herself to turn her head to study Yelena's expression.

''What are you-'' But Natasha cut herself off when a sound came from the apartment above. Four heads shot in that direction, and their ears picked up the sound of people running. And the footsteps came closer real quick.

They'd already been found.