Em_Mayhem said that I could write a chapter where Carter and Donovan did nothing but stare at each other and she would be happy. I decided to take on that challenge.

Read When Disaster Strikes to understand the full extent of this chapter.

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Donovan didn't sleep anymore. That's what it felt like at least. He slept so lightly that nights were endless. If Carter stirred, he woke up, ready to do anything to help her make it through. Some nights that meant holding her while she cried from nightmares. Sometimes It meant talking to her while she remained trapped in a dream, trying to soothe her.

And the worst times were when he felt like nothing he did made a difference.

Carter whimpered and Donovan snapped his eyes open, his heart already picking up speed, his body tensing in preparation. From the bit of morning sunlight, he could see the line cut between her brows, her fingers clawing the sheet. She breathed rapidly like she was fleeing something in her head.

Gently, Donovan brushed his thumb over her forehead and down her cheek. Carter let out a shuttering breath. It had taken a week for her not to flinch at his touch. He stroked the back of her hand, waiting for her clenched fingers to relax and release the sheet. Eventually, she did. Slowly, she drifted back into a deeper sleep.

Donovan didn't.

Instead, he lay there caressing her cheek. Carter turned to his touch like she never did when she was awake. It gave him hope that she was slowly returning to herself and him. He might have fallen back asleep with his fingers brushing her skin, he wasn't sure. But the morning had fully formed when he blinked and found Carter awake.

Every time she opened her eyes, Donovan waited for it to be the day where she knew him. Where she saw him as she used to.

But it wasn't that day.

She looked at him blankly, her blue eyes empty of that thing that made her who she was. It felt like looking at a frozen lake, everything was stiff on the surface while Donovan knew there was life underneath that he simply couldn't reach.

He stretched forward and kissed her forehead. She didn't react.

He settled back on his pillow. She stared at him and Donovan wished he could read her mind. There was a time when he thought he could, he knew her so well that just by seeing a certain glint in her eyes he could tell what she planned to do.

But now...

With one more kiss, Donovan climbed out of bed. He went to the kitchen, starting a pot of coffee and chopping up fruit. He'd tried real meals but Carter barely got through them so he found another solution, power shakes crammed with everything she needed. Partway through his task, he heard the toilet flush, but Carter didn't come to join him.

When he walked back into the bedroom, she sat on his side of the bed, gripping the blanket. She lifted her head and he thought he saw a trace of something in her eyes but it was gone.

He wondered if she thought he'd leave her, disappear.

He wouldn't, he'd given a vow: for better or worse, in sickness and in health.

He loved this beaten, broken Carter the same as he loved the fierce, determined one.

When he handed her the cup with the power shake and straw, she accepted it and drank, gazing out the window. He sipped his coffee, the one thing that seemed to be keeping him running through most days. Outside the day looked bright and cheery with wispy clouds lazily crossing the sky. Carter couldn't stop looking like out there it was better.

Once she was finished, Donovan helped her change into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. While she sat on the bed, he brushed and tied back her hair. The process still made him feel clumsy and the result was her hair a bit messy and the ponytail lopsided. But somehow the messiness fit her.

Showered and changed himself, he went to get Carter. She sat where he'd left her, sitting on the bed, staring outside. He took her hand and tugged her upward. She followed him, a lost child willing to fully trust someone else. She walked slowly because of her still-healing wounds. It didn't matter, Donovan would go however slow was needed, because she needed him.

They stepped out of the stairwell and onto the roof. Overhead a vibrant sun bathed the world in golden light. A flowery scent floated on the air from flower boxes circling a deck with two chairs placed on it. Donovan guided Carter to one of the chairs and she sat down. As she watched the sky, Donovan sent off updates to everyone then silenced his phone.

Somewhere down below construction took place. When a machine let out a loud BANG! Carter tensed and clutched the arm of her chair, freezing in panic. Donovan tenderly pried her fingers away from the metal and laced his hand with hers. She blinked, relaxing a fraction.

Donovan stared at her hand. It felt too small in his, too fragile. She'd lost weight and somehow that made everything about her feel delicate. She seemed to be made of glass and he wanted to guard her so nothing else could break her.

When she met his gaze, Donovan lifted their joined hands and kissed the back of hers.

The old Carter would have laughed or rolled her eyes at him, while secretly loving the action.

This Carter didn't seem to notice.

Donovan kept his eyes locked on hers, wishing he could be with her in the prison she lived in in her mind.

He couldn't imagine how lonely it must feel to be locked away inside but outside not see any visible bars.

He wished he could do something to break her free, but he didn't know how.

As a warm breeze wrapped around them, Carter closed her eyes and tilted her chin up. Donovan blinked, having to swallow down the lump in his throat. There was hope. He had hope.

They spent the day on the roof. Lunch was the same, though Donovan knew she needed more. She was too thin and she needed more protein than a powder. But for now, that was all she would take.

When the day came to a close, they retreated to the apartment where they ate and returned to their bed. Donovan sat back against his pillows and took the book off of his nightstand. Carter lay next to him, looking at nothing. Donovan swept a strand of hair from her face and she lifted her eyes to him.

Though nothing had changed in their expression he felt like she silently asked him for something. For what, he didn't know. When she lowered her gaze, Donovan felt like he'd failed her, like he should have known what she wanted.

He touched her face again, wishing he could know.

She didn't say.

He didn't know why, but when he opened his book instead of reading quietly, he started to read out loud. It wasn't something he'd done before. Most of the time when he told Carter what he read she didn't sound interested.

But he kept going, letting his voice fill the room.

When he peeked down at Carter, his breath caught in his throat. She slept, her breathing deep and even. And on the edge of her lips, there was a tiny curve.

Donovan blinked, tears falling out.

She was still there.

And he would wait.

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Hello Munchkin!

Depressing? Yes. Interesting? I don't know, you tell me! I'm curious what you thought about a chapter where no words were said at all. 🗯💭💬

I have a story for you that you haven't heard before that ties in with this chapter.

The Christmas break of my senior year, I had to drop out of high school. The previous summer I'd been sick and that fall I wasn't fully better. During the break my health plummeted.

At the time I had a guy friend who I'd been close with for a while and he'd come over and sit by my bed side (cause I could barely get out of bed at times) and be with me. We'd talk or watch Doctor Who. He came over so much that looking back I can't remember the days he wasn't there.

But one day, he left and decided not to come back.

Have you ever faced pain or loneliness that can't be put into words?

Where it feels like no one else could possibly understand what you're going through? That even if you tried to describe it that it would never be enough to make someone full understand the depth of what you're facing?

That's what I faced.

I was in the type of pain that couldn't be described but also left me so alone.

(I'm definitely not crying right now as I remember this)

You want to know something crazy and amazing?

I discovered I wasn't alone. I had Jesus Christ. And for the first time in my life I had truly understood what it meant when God said I will never leave you or forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5, Joshua 1:5, Mathew 20:28, Philippians 4:7)

You might think I'm nuts, that believing in Jesus Christ means I'm weak or stupid. But what I know is that I have never been in so much pain in my life and never felt so cut off from the rest of the world like it did then, but He was always there for me.

I share this because the love of Jesus is like an amazing book, you want share it with everyone!

I don't know what you believe about heaven and salvation, but I want to tell you it isn't something you have to earn, work for, struggle to achieve. It's believing that God came down to earth in the form of Jesus Christ, died and rose again so that if you believe on Him you might have eternal life. (Romans 10:9-10)

It is as simple as that. Not what we can do but what He did.

Thanks for listening (I guess I mean reading) I love you more than you could ever know and I hope you discover that you don't have to feel alone.

Here's Carter and Donovan