Thank you to frostbyte1109 for making this chapter's cover picture! The full pic is on Patreon ❤️

A/n: friendly reminder that Violet and Dabi are both not at a good place (mentally) in the story right now and I know this. They are not supposed to be super stable at the moment (because they are showing their flaws. Flaws that will aid in the rise of the climax and later turn into growth).

It's okay if you find yourself getting annoyed with either or both of them, but remember that I have a plan and this is just the 'struggle' part of the story where they gradually start to hit rock bottom 🥲 i don't add unnecessary drama, trauma, or even attitudes. Everything has a purpose for that plot! (Just saying this so you don't drop the book. You can comment and vent your frustrations about them all you want hehe). thank you for reading <3

Violet POV:

"I can't believe you're really here."

Half of me was convinced I was dreaming. The other half would have been okay if I was.

The only thing to keep me grounded to reality was the loud pounding of the rain against the roof of the Todoroki home. A force of nature that mimicked everything I felt inside myself at this moment.

Because, truly...I wasn't expecting to see Dabi crouched outside my window-in the pouring rain, no less.

There's a million questions running through my mind to how this situation came about. Did he follow me here? Did he see me talking with Endeavor at Midas' mansion-wait-Does Dabi know he's currently at Endeavor's house!? How did he even know to come here!?

I turned away from my dresser in a daze, getting a clear look at Dabi on the window with the next strike of lightning to the stormy sky.

The rain was coming down so hard, it almost looked like he was drowning under it. His hair was drenched. The fancy suit he wore to Midas' party was now sticking to his body like a second skin-hell, he wasn't even wearing his suit jacket anymore.

Upon meeting his gaze, I saw his eyes had already been looking at me-seeming as if he'd been doing so for a lot longer than I realized.

He shot me a smug smirk when he knew he'd caught my attention, resting his arm above his head on the icy window.

"Of course I'm here, sunshine. We never finished what we started." He called out through the window, voice low and muffled from the rain.

Honestly, I barely heard him-especially being a few feet away.

With nothing but immediate excitement on my mind for Dabi's surprise appearance at the Todoroki home, old patterns were quick to blur my common sense and memories of this shitty night. My feet moved on their own, slowly padding across the heated wood floors towards the window...having every intention to let Dabi in and finish what we started.

He smirked ferally when he saw me coming over with a stupid smile on my face, seeming to regret nothing about the night or the way he's been treating me as he shifted back and forth on his crouched feet with anticipation...looking like an animal getting ready to pounce on its prey.

However....

The closer I got to the window, the more I noticed pieces of myself I'd been trying to ignore in the last few seconds-like how my heartbeat picked up faster-and not in a good way. The growing lump in my throat only made itself known when I felt my breathing becoming constricted.

And it was only when I realized my hands were shaking, that my steps slowly began to stop before I reached the window.

I'm scared. But, not of him.

Solemn reality wedged itself forward in my brain, overpowering the giddy butterflies I felt for Dabi as I remembered how the night went now-scratch that. How the last week has gone.

It wasn't until tonight...when he saw me with another man that Dabi finally paid attention to me.

The party at the mansion was a whirlwind. My emotions were running high with everyone. So high, I never really had time to think.

I kissed Dabi on impulsive instinct. And had Endeavor never interrupted, I'd have fucked him in the bathroom of the mansion, just as we had originally planned. There would have been no second thoughts, hell, not even a moment to breathe as I'd lose myself to the moment. To him.

There wouldn't be any reason for regret. Or common sense, for that matter.

There was no break in that moment, as Dabi and I had been whisked away to our own personal bubble of bliss. No time to hesitate or think about the after effects of what I'd be doing. My brain was Dabi. My heart was Dabi, and so was my body.

It was all Dabi.

But...

Now, enough time has passed for the lustful heat to leave my head and replace with the somber reality that is us. With him currently locked outside....with no ability to invade my personal space or common sense...

It gives me a chance to do this moment over. To truly think about...

Where this is going? Him and I...

My feet came to a full stop once I reached the window, coming face to face with Dabi who was on the other side.

Why should I let him inside, knowing he's just going to leave again?

Not only that, but....

Once he finds that our partnership has officially been abolished, he won't ever have any reason to come back again. He doesn't care for me enough to put effort in and make this work. Hell, this last week he's made more efforts to avoid me than spend time with me-and that was before we've now been forced to separate.

No. The situation was convenient for him. That's why he did it in the first place. I knew that from the start. We lived together and spent every waking minute together. It was all so easy to mix business with pleasure.

Not to mention, in his eyes, I must have been such an easy fix. So desperate for him. Willing to fall at his feet and do anything he wanted. As he said to me a long time ago...

"You're every villain's dream."

Because I'm naive. So easily taken advantage of, and so attached.

But, as of tonight....all of that....

Is over.

We...are over.

I think we've been over for a little bit of time now. This last week to be exact. I just didn't want to admit it. I wanted to hope that Dabi and I would move past this block in the road and continue on like we used to.

Happy.

Though, the truth-the truth I can finally admit, because his actions and words have aligned perfectly this week, is that Dabi doesn't love me.

He never has. He never will. No matter how much I hope so.

And being intimate with someone you love, knowing they don't feel the same? It hurts. Too much for me tonight.

I shouldn't let him in again. For my own sanity, I shouldn't do it.

Dabi's smirk fell off his face slightly when he saw me stopped in front of the window. I could feel the previously excited muscles in my face slipping into a somber epiphany. I wonder if he noticed.

It doesn't matter if he did. Not anymore.

I studied his face for a few moments from inside the intimate warmth of my dark room, watching the icy droplets of rain beat down on his skin relentlessly.

Not the particular parting image I'd like to remember of him. But, it will have to do.

Inhaling deeply, my eyes slowly fell from Dabi's now as I backed away from the window, forcing myself to turn my back to him as I said...

"Go home, Dabi."

Silence consumed the space between us for a moment, with nothing but the tears of rain to fill it. The somberness of my statement echoed off the walls of my isolated room, only reminding me I'm truly alone.

I couldn't bring myself to move from my spot, looking dully to a random crack on the floor as I waited for him to say something. Anything.

I'm not even sure what I'm hoping for anymore. When disappointment begins to infect the heart, it becomes harder to remember what you hoped for in the first place.

After what felt like eternity, the sound of his laugh mingled with the cries of the stormy skies. He laughed as if the whole thing was a joke, not seeming to realize how serious I was.

I don't blame him. Why would he think I'm serious when I've never had much credibility in the matter? I've never really rejected him-and if I ever did, it wasn't ever genuine. I always came crawling back. I was always a sure choice.

Or, maybe he did know how serious I was and he was just in denial. I'm not sure, I don't know him the way I thought I did. Anything is possible now.

He hummed mockingly to my words, and I could hear his hand rest atop the window to signal he was getting comfortable up there-with no intention of leaving.

"Home, huh? And where is home for me, sunshine?-the dumpster out back? Or prison? Ooo. Maybe the damn grave. Anything's more comfortable than that gaudy fucking hotel room-"

"Fine." I interrupted immediately, trying to clear away the uneven sound of my voice. "Then don't go home, per say. Just...leave. Get away. You're...you're bad for me."

My last words were rehearsed. Words he's said to me about himself a million times. I always denied them to both of us when they were spoken aloud. I used to be unable to even imagine how he'd 'ruin me' and destroy my life. With each warning from his mouth, the passionate touch of his warm hands countered and soothed any reason for me to actually believe it.

But, now, my skin's gone cold. Now...I'm not so sure.

And, because they were his own words, his own excuses, I thought he'd agree with me.

But, perhaps, Dabi's only okay when he's the one admitting such things. That way, he gets the best of both worlds. He still has the control over the situation, while speaking the truth out loud to ease his guilty conscience.

"Funny." He said sarcastically bitter. "You didn't seem to think so when you shoved your tongue down my throat thirty minutes ago."

I kept my back to him, wrapping my own arms around me for comfort as I tried to stand my ground.

"That was different."

"How so?"

"Well, because I was...." I trailed off, a little too embarrassed now to admit the truth of what I'd been feeling at the time.

Post nut clarity-but, without the actual nut?

"Horny as a motherfucker?" Dabi finished, purposely trying to fluster me with the truth he apparently knew, too. "Oh-ho, yeah, I know. It was hot. I missed it."

While his words were meant as a cheeky joke to ease the tension I suddenly created between us, his comment only backfired and hurt me more.

I wanted him to say he missed me. Not...it.

Grimacing at my last ten months of stupidity, I took a few steps further from the window, almost hoping the sound of the rain would drown out Dabi's presence.

"It was a mistake." I said to him clearly, giving my head a deflated shake. "This whole thing.....god, I'm so stupid. All of it...was a mistake right from the start."

With my back to him, I still couldn't see his face. But, judging from the way he went silent once more, I could tell the words caught him off guard.

The whole situation did probably. After all, I'm sure he came here with a different scenario in mind, based on the heated kiss we shared less than an hour ago.

And, even if he was caught off guard, he masked this with the carelessness of his voice. What he doesn't seem to realize though...is that the more he pretends he doesn't care...the more obvious it becomes that he does.

Just not enough, apparently.

"Wowwww." He feigned with surprise, giving a small click of his tongue. "So, you like Roach Guy that much, do ya? Awww. How cute! Who knew you moved on so fast? Didn't think 'two-timing whore' was up your alley."

Realizing he was getting the wrong idea about why I was officially ending this, my heart jumped in slight panic.

And I don't know why it did, considering the end result will still be the same for Dabi and I.

"It's not like that!" I defended, quickly turning back around to face him. "And how can you call it 'two-timing' when we aren't together?"

"Don't fucking lie to me." He scoffed bitterly, ignoring the last part of my sentence.

"Huh? I'm not!-"

"Cut the bullshit. I know what I saw, alright? Not only did you force me to fucking watch that slimy shit's hands feel up every inch of you-but you also blabbed your mouth to me later that night and admitted it." He accused lowly, before his hand atop the glass window began to steam lightly.

And, it seemed the universe didn't approve of his answer either, because after he'd spoken it...the painless rain drops coming down on him had suddenly froze and turned to sharp hail.

Karma.

"God damn it." He muttered in annoyance when he got pelted in the face with ice, holding a drenched hand over his head pointlessly.

"I didn't admit anything!" I argued, admittedly not having much sympathy for the mixture of hail and icy rain continuing to come down on him like bullets. "I said what happened between Akio and I wasn't any of your business-and it wasn't."

Dabi let out a mocking chuckle at my words, throwing his head to the sky out of diabolical habit before he got nailed in the face by more ice.

"Might as well have said you pegged the guy in the fucking bathroom with that response." He dismissed, bringing his attention back to me before wiping a bit of blood from his face.

"Oh, come on, Dabi." I sighed, not meaning for the tone of my voice to suddenly sound so....broken. "Let's not pretend we don't know why you're really here."

It was too early to sound that sad. That devastated. My emotions got the better of me though and I couldn't help it.

Unfortunately, he noticed...letting the stubborn tease fall from his face as he looked to me through the window.

"And why do you think I'm really here, sunshine?" He said a little softer than I was expecting, no longer paying any mind to the icy shower battering his skin and bones.

The subtle warmth in his voice made things hurt more, because I haven't been able to experience this side of Dabi in what felt like forever.

The side of him that's real. This is the side I fell in love with, and of all the times to bring this side back out, I wish he wouldn't have done it when I'm trying to break up with him-if one can even call it that.

"T..To hookup with me-then kick me to the curb when you're finished and ignore me again." I cracked out weaker, averting my half lidded gaze from him for fear it would blur with tears. "I can't do it anymore. I can't be some random...fling to you."

'Fuck buddy' is the more appropriate term, buttt I'd rather say it in a more classy way. For my own sanity.

I expected Dabi to use the term fuck buddy though to purposely be crass. Instead, he surprised me again when he chose my verbiage instead-a rare bid to make me more comfortable in the situation, something I also haven't experienced from him in quite a bit of time.

"I wouldn't be caught dead showing up to Endeavor's house for a 'random fling,' sunshine. Fucking trust me on that." He almost laughed, turning his gaze away from me to look at the side of the house with disgust.

My brows furrowed in slight confusion to his words-rather, his admittance of information that was supposed to be relatively confidential.

As the number one hero, no one's really supposed to know where Endeavor and his family live. It's like knowing where your favorite celebrity lives. You just don't.

And, even if Dabi followed me here, and that's how he knew where to go...Endeavor always ensures he goes through the back door of the house, so no one would see him. Just another way he keeps his location secret.

What I'm saying...is that Dabi wouldn't have had any way tonight of knowing this was the number one's house.

"How did you know this was Endeavor's house?" I asked a bit quietly.

I wasn't necessarily accusing him of anything. Just more...I don't know. Curiosity, I guess. Yeah.

Realizing he'd said more than he wanted to, I didn't miss the slight flash of 'oh shit' behind Dabi's eyes, before he quickly composed himself.

With only a few seconds of silence dedicated to running a hand through his sopping hair and coming up with an excuse...

"It's not the first time I've stalked the fire fuck." He muttered uncharacteristically quiet, almost as if he was hoping his words wouldn't be coherent enough to really understand.

I waited for a minute to see if he would say anything more, yet he didn't. Instead, we simply stared at each other through the glass of the Todoroki home, with the image of his blue eyes looking at me giving my chest a feeling I couldn't describe.

It was that returning feeling of panic I sometimes experience with Dabi. Whenever I look at him for too long. It's something that settles deep in my heart and makes it hard to breathe. Something my mind never lets me really think about for too long, as if it's trying to protect me.

I decided to follow my instincts and listen to them once more, clearing the feeling and thoughts about it from my head quickly before changing the subject back to the matter at hand.

"So, you're saying I'm more to you?" I asked a bit tiredly, bringing my eyes back to his.

I was tired, because I was relatively sure what the answer would be from him. But, still, some silly part of me hoped I was wrong.

Upon seeing my spirit dying, the stubbornness began to melt away from his eyes. His mouth unable to fully lie this time.

"I can't say that." He admitted with a slight mutter, digging his fingers into the window before his forehead pressed against the glass.

My dull eyes slowly widened back to life with surprise for his answer. Even if it doesn't seem like much, coming from Dabi...it's definitely not something I was expecting.

Usually, he'd just outright deny it and say no. This time though, he didn't deny it. He just said he couldn't say it. For reasons I don't know.

"Why?"

Whether it was the pounds of rainwater and ice that had beaten down on him in the last five minutes, or just the chaos of the night...it was easy to see he was getting tired, too. Tired of what, I'm not sure. Could be me. Could be the situation.

It could even be himself, and the point he knows he brought us to right now, single-handedly.

"Because." Dabi sighed with a little defeat, keeping his forehead against the rain drenched window.

His mood has obviously taken a turn since showing up here. While it was 'Dabi' who arrived with smug intentions, now it was whoever he used to be. And this person was feeling tired of everything 'Dabi' has caused him to do. I can see it.

One could even go so far as to say he feels regret for it. Though, that would still be a long shot.

Still not planning to let him inside, I pressed my own forehead against the window now to line up with his own, closing my eyes at the soft heat of his skin that radiated through the glass and to my own.

"Real insightful answer." I said deflatedly, bringing my fingers up to the glass slightly where his cheek was.

Keeping his forehead to the glass, Dabi rotated it slightly to see my hand pressed on the other side, lazily bringing his own fingers up to align with my own.

So close to each other, yet never fully together. There's always something that keeps us apart. That prevents us from finally touching and being on the same side of the glass.

My heartstrings tugged as I pulled away slightly to look at his face, seeing a rare sight of him that made me fall in love all over again.

'Dabi' was gone and his face was soft as he looked to our hands peacefully. The rain kissed his face and his eyes wandered to my fingers, lips curling up slightly at the way his digits exceeded my own in length and size.

The urge to throw this window open and pull him to me was suddenly overwhelming. It's hard to keep reminding myself I don't know him as well as I think I do. This man-the one right here with me in this moment, seems like one I know better than anyone else.

So much so, it hurts.

As I've said tonight, I am tired of always feeling hurt.

Pressing my lips together to stop them from quivering, I memorized the beautiful look on Dabi's face for as long as I could, slowly pulling my hand away from his and leaving it alone on the glass.

He looked my way when I did so, watching blankly as I began to back away from him now.

That's when he realized how much I was drifting away and slipping from his grasp. How much he'd pushed me here on his own.

Did he truly regret it? I'm really not sure. Regret means he wouldn't do it again. Regret means he wished he never pushed me away, and even though he's here tonight....if he's not here tomorrow it would mean he didn't ever regret it.

Sensing he was losing me this time, he became just a tad more desperate.

"Look. It's cold as fucking shit out here and hailing. Just let me in so we can talk." He said as casually as he could, subtly starting to grip the window.

"'Talk,' you say." I chuckled weakly, heavily throwing my arms down to my side in frustration. "As if you're not gonna try to have...intercourse with me the moment you get inside."

"Oh my god. Really?" He deadpanned, giving his head a small shake. "Intercourse? Of all the words to pick."

King of missing the point. As usual.

A small huff escaped my lips as his usual antics crept back into play slightly, giving me the much needed reminder of the asshole he really was.

See? I keep telling myself I don't know him well.

"I'm sure you have a whole phone book of other women you can call to get your rocks off tonight. Best not to keep them waiting." I said sarcastically, gesturing for him to just be done with me and leave.

"Wrong." He argued, causing my words to halt before he finished the stupid punch line with returning smugness. "No one has phone books anymore."

Denial is making him not take this seriously. It's pissing me off.

I glared at him now for the bad joke, storming back over to the window and coming face to face with him once more.

"You're unbelievable." I muttered, grabbing onto the window curtains before abruptly closing them in his face.

"Oi. Don't be like that." Dabi called out from the closed curtains, tapping on the glass slightly as I began to walk away. "Come on. Quit being a bitch and just open the window."

Being the weak person I am, I stopped walking and slapped my hands over my head, wishing he would make this easier. It's already hard enough to let him go. It's even harder when he decides he wants to suddenly fight for this-whatever 'it' is and change my mind.

I'm doing what he wants. I'm trying to walk away from him, like he keeps telling me to. So...

Why is he suddenly trying to pull me back in?

Turning on my heel and storming back over to the window in a tizzy, I threw the curtains back open aggressively, causing Dabi to pull his head back with slight surprise.

It's time to end this for good. And I know the perfect way to make him realize this situation is no longer worth it.

If you take 'convenience' out of the equation, there's nothing left that would make Dabi stay. He doesn't like to work for things, not when the return benefit isn't high enough.

And, it's not. He's got a long list of women he can hookup with. To him, sex isn't anything special.

"There's no point in opening the window, Dabi. The situation has changed tonight. Can't you see that based on where I'm forced to be right now?!" I said firmly, feeling my hands shaking with adrenaline now at the point I was trying to make.

Because once it's been said, and once he leaves, it's only going to prove that everything he said was true. He really didn't care. He really only put up with me because I was just....there.

"What do you mean?" He said with a little impatience, cocking a brow of question.

My heart began to pick up speed at the inevitable truth I knew would come, easing him into it slow with a raspy voice.

Here it goes...

"Endeavor found out about us. He caught us kissing and confronted me on it when you left."

His eyes went wide in pure shock at my words now, fingers heating up hotly against the glass at the mere name.

Right now, he just looks pissed. The repercussions of what I just said haven't really registered in his head, yet.

"Are you kidding me? The fucker was there right under my nose and I didn't see." He said more to himself, eyes starting to burn hotly. "What a bastard. What did he say?"

There it is. The opening. Just rip it off like a bandaid.

It's time to say goodbye to him. It was nice while it lasted.

"He..." I rasped out weakly, feeling my hands accruing cold sweat.

Dabi watched my lip quiver in confusion, brows furrowing slightly at the way I couldn't stop my eyes from filling with tears.

I don't want to lose you. God, I know you don't care. But, I love you.

"H..He said...." I continued in a broken whisper, almost wishing he wouldn't hear me. "As of tonight.....you and I....are no longer partners for this assignment."

Judging by the way Dabi's face went blank, he did hear me. His words fell silent as he studied my reaction.

But, knowing he would leave, I quickly turned my back to him, so I wouldn't have to see him go.

Because if I never turn back around, then in my mind, he'll still be there. He always will be.

"Starting tomorrow, we'll both have different partners." I explained shakily, wondering when the moment would come where I was only speaking to myself.

I don't know the moment he'd leave since my back was turned. It could have already happened for all I know since he's not saying anything.

Out of a need to fill the loud silence, I kept talking.

"Endeavor even went so far as to send someone else to the hotel room this week to pick up all my things. I'm sure he'll be keeping a close eye on me and do everything in his power to make sure we stay away from each other. It will be near impossible for me to even come within ten feet of you now. It would require an enormous amount of work for you to continue meeting with me." I choked out, squeezing my eyes shut.

The silent response after my words only became louder, giving me the image behind my closed eyelids that I was only speaking to the storm outside.

It made my voice crack more. Denial continuing to speak for me to a man who was no longer there.

"S..So you see? The situation....is too complicated now. It's no longer convenient enough for you to stick around and be with me." I breathed out, tears filling the lid of my eyes to the brim now. "This is the moment...where it all ends."

A simple shift of my eyes caused the dam of tears to spill from my lids now, running down my face at a rapid pace.

The silence from the other side of the window was never changing. If anything, it continued to get louder and swallow me whole, taunting me with the truth I tried so hard to deny.

I resisted the urge to hunch over and sob. Because once I did, it meant I'd accepted the fact he was gone. I wasn't ready to accept it yet.

"I'm sure you're relieved, right? H..Heh. You always were saying how much you wanted to get rid of me. It's probably for the best anyways." I sniffled, squeezing my eyes shut to fight the urge to cry harder. "I-I mean, what were we thinking, right? What was I thinking, messing around with someone like you? We don't even share the same morals or ideals-or the same views on three-in-one shampoo. It wouldn't have ever worked."

My muscles began to shake now and my breathing became more shallow as the realization I was alone slowly began to set in. Yet, I continued talking to the sky anyways, for hopes my words would be heard by something.

I buried my wet face in my hands now to the continuing silence that responded to me, muffling the small cry that escaped my throat.

I'm truly alone. Without him, I will always feel empty.

"I was a fool, Dabi. I get it." I sobbed sadly into my hands. "I should have understood what we were from the beginning. You always said it, but....then...at the same time...you made it so easy to...get feelings for you."

Don't say 'love.' There's no point in saying it. Not anymore. He never heard me say it, and now, he never will.

"It was f..fun though. Our time together. Maybe it wasn't for you. But, I won't ever forget it-I know that probably sounds stupid. What can I say though? I tend to hold on to the good memories a little too tight. I'm sorry that you'll probably stick around in my brain longer than you want to." I laughed sadly, abruptly interrupted by my own hiccup before continuing.

"I was in denial. You were right, I did think I could change you. Deep down, I thought I could, even if I didn't realize it. I thought I could make you..like me, the way I like you. That there was a way we could have existed together, even if it was hard sometimes."

Breathing became more of a chore the more my crying became out of control. The only reason to thank the solitude that now befell me...was so no one would hear my hideous gasps.

"But, I was wrong. I always was. And tonight...it only opened my eyes to that fully. To the fact that you and I don't work. We just aren't meant to be. You agree, don't you?"

The silence didn't say anything, and I didn't expect it, too.

But, 'expect' and 'hope' are two different things.

I expected him to be gone, even though I'd hoped he wouldn't go.

And, even though I was the one who did it.....the fact of the matter..is that it hurts.

I wish he didn't leave. I wish I could hug him and feel his arms around me. But, more than that...

God, I wish he loved me.

Realizing the silence had gone on for too long to deny, my face slowly began to scrunch up against my will. I barely remained standing on shaky legs, hunching over slightly before I hugged my arms around myself to mimic his touch.

With no air in my lungs, a silent sob fell from my lips. My wobbly knees threatened to collapse as I hugged myself tighter to no avail.

Why did he leave? Why wasn't I good enough?

A pathetic sob sounded in my throat now. It was weak and filled with pain. It was compiled of all the hurt I never wanted to feel tonight. Everything I was trying to avoid.

Not wanting to wake the house, I began to cry quietly now, still able to hear my tears hitting the wood floors over the sound of the storms outside.

It's over. I knew it was coming. I had a week to prepare. And still, it doesn't make it any easier.

"Goodbye, Dabi." I whimpered into my own hands, feeling the weight of gravity slowly sinking my body towards the floor.

But...

Before I could collapse, I felt rain drenched hands come into my vision from behind, gently pulling strands of hair away from my tear stained face.

The fingertips were warm in a way that only I knew, causing my lungs to freeze and my face to slowly lift from my hands.

Half of me was convinced I was dreaming. The other half would have been okay if I was.

But, the thing to let me know this was real...was what happened next.

"Violet." Dabi murmured softly, voice no longer muffled by the barrier of the window.

No. He was here. In my room. The pounding rain was now heard behind him. The sound of his voice resonated all the way through my eardrums, rejuvenating my muscles with a new will to keep going.

And, just now....for those few minutes he was silent and I thought I'd finally lost him, it suddenly gave me a new perspective.

Losing him hurts too much. It's not something I can recover from so easily. I'm in too deep.

I'd rather have him here for as long as he'll stay, than push him away forever.

I'm so weak for him. So weak, and I don't care. At this point, I can only desperately accept it and indulge the privilege of loving him for another fleeting second.

Giving in to my heart, I dropped all my defenses. The barriers I'd been using all night to push him away came crashing down as I immediately turned around to face him-only crying harder when I saw him standing right in front of me.

It's really him. He's still here.

He didn't leave. Even when he had all the reasons to do so.

Wearing my heart on my sleeve for him once again, I instantly threw my arms around his neck and pulled him to me, unable to stop the ugly cries from coming out of my mouth.

A moment of weakness. One he seemed to share with me as the cold shoulder he's given me the past week was something he couldn't keep up for another second. He wasted no time wrapping his arms around me tightly, burying his face in my hair with a desperation that makes it seem he's been wanting to do it for awhile.

The hug was cleansing, instantly ridding all the toxicity of the week and the night in mere seconds. It was cleansing, because this moment was real. Pure and innocent. It was the first genuine moment we've had together in what felt like too long, bringing us back to the bliss we enjoyed together for such a tragically short time.

I could feel it from the simple touch of his hands and the emotional pounding of his heart. Or from his long, drawn out breaths for air, as if this was the first time in awhile that he could finally breathe again. It was the way he just couldn't help himself when his fingers circled my back and pulled me closer, with one of his hands sliding to the back of my head and ensuring it stayed pressed against his chest.

It was him. The man I fell in love with. The man who speaks through his actions more than his words.

It's actions like these that made me feel he may have loved me back. He's not Dabi. He's whoever he used to be, and I'm so glad that he came back to me. For now, anyways.

My sobs hiccuped embarrassingly loud as Dabi and I squeezed each other in a tight embrace. With the lack of air we both currently received, it's completely possible that one of us may lose consciousness first and ruin the moment.

It won't be me though. If it means I wouldn't be able to experience him like this, it won't be me.

"You didn't leave." I breathed out with relief, closing my eyes and letting the tears continue to flow freely from my eyes.

Dabi ran his hands up my spine gently upon hearing my teary voice, indulgently nuzzling his forehead to the side of my face with an affection I felt so starved of.

"Yeah. Maybe I should have though since you're getting snot all over me. Fucking gross." He uttered teasingly, saying what he could to make me stop crying.

Even though he's never spoken it aloud, I know that Dabi gets very uncomfortable when I cry. His body language always becomes restless and anxious. Those are the times he caves on things the most if it means I'll stop crying. Hell, he could have even chosen to stay tonight, because I was crying and he didn't want to leave me like this. I don't know. I just know that it's one of the few things that hurts him.

I let out a shaky laugh to his words, making more of an effort now to stop my flow of tears as best I could.

Sniffling softly-and because I was getting extremely lightheaded from the lack of air our tight hug provided, I finally released Dabi a few minutes later, inhaling a deep breath to get the oxygen to my brain once more.

The space was dark, but still I could make out his face clearly. While a storm was brewing hard outside my open curtains, the night still brought in enough light for the room.

His cheeks were stained with blood tears and it made my heart ache. Instantly pulling away from him, I went to my desk and grabbed a handful of tissues, returning to him quicker than I'd left.

"H..How did you get inside?" I asked, voice raspy from crying as I gently dabbed his face. "The window was locked..."

He rolled his eyes at my words and let me dab the blood from his face for a few vulnerable moments, gently ushering my hand away when the actions became too vulnerable for him.

"No shit. I picked the lock five seconds after I showed up." He said a bit smugly, looking down at me with soft eyes.

I tossed the soiled tissues in the trash, looking to him with furrowed brows of confusion.

"What? Then why did you wait outside for so long in the rain?"

Dabi was a bit quiet at my words, seeming to mask his slight embarrassment with hints of amusement.

"Cause I was waiting for you to come to your senses and invite me in. Kinda fucking rude you didn't, huh? Not very heroic of you." He teased, causing me to laugh weakly as I came back over.

Really, I was doing my best not to cry again. But, the night has been overwhelming and my emotions are running higher than they have in awhile. Even seeing Dabi here inside my room makes me feel like crying.

I didn't realize I'd lightly started again until his thumb was on my cheek, gliding up under my eyes to stroke the new set of tears that had gathered.

"Why are you crying, sunshine." He asked quietly, but he knew.

An unattractive sniffle sounded from me as I desperately tried to compose myself to no avail, squeezing my eyes shut in embarrassment.

"Because I missed this." I practically sobbed, lowering my head towards the floor. "S..So much, it hurts."

Dabi was quiet for a moment as he took in my words, pushing himself a bit out of his comfort zone with his next words.

"Me too."

My tears came to a pause, sobs replaced with surprise as I slowly lifted my head back up to look at him.

"You...missed...it." I clarified, referring to the physical part of us. "Or...."

He looked at me blankly now, shoulders going tense with uncomfortability, jaw tensing with nerves. It was something he'd never admit before tonight in a million years, yet he exhaled a shaky breath and forced himself to say...

"I....missed you."

It almost sounded painful for him to say, not because he didn't want me to know, but because he has such a hard time expressing emotions. It seems as if the pure act of 'feeling' and getting emotional is traumatic for him.

The fact that he was willing to say it tonight makes me wonder what he's thinking. I know what brought me to a breaking point tonight in terms of letting Dabi back into my life. But, I wish I could have seen the night from his perspective.

Regardless, I was surprised.

"You did?"

He couldn't say it again, so he just nodded, unable to look at me for a moment after the words had been said. His skin began to steam slightly, yet he kept going...forcing himself to be as honest as he could in this moment for a reason I couldn't comprehend.

"Why do you think I showed up?" He uttered a bit rough, rubbing the back of his neck with slight anxiety for saying such things.

I rested my forehead on his shoulder tiredly, feeling his hands come up to gently grab my arms.

"I...don't know, Dabi." I admitted honestly, reveling in the way he gently stroked my shoulders. "When it comes to you....I really don't know. You confuse me."

"I know." He coaxed softly, voice laced with guilt.

Apology, too. Even if he wouldn't say it.

We stood in comfortable silence for a moment. Contrary to just a few minutes ago when he was outside in the icy rain, now the moment felt so...safe. The storm raged loud and violent outside these walls. Yet, there was something comforting about being inside this warm, dark room with Dabi while it happened, with it being just the two of us finally getting to enjoy each other's company.

He continued stroking my shoulders, doing so absentmindedly as his own thoughts clouded his brain.

"One day...." He said after a few minutes, voice barely above a whisper. "You're gonna need to forget me. Okay?"

The tone of his voice broke my heart. Because, for once, he sounded sad about what he'd just said. What made it worse was that he also sounded accepting. Like he'd already given up and resigned himself to this.

"Don't say that." My voice cracked, before I violently shook my head back and forth against his shoulder. "I won't ever forget you."

He snorted softly at my words, plopping a hand atop my head warmly.

"Yeah. I believe you've stuck to your word on that one." He sighed.

The words carried bittersweet. A part of him seemed to find his own sentence funny. Most of him seemed to find it sad though. I didn't know why.

"But...for your own good, sunshine. You need to let me go." He continued calmly, trying not to feel the effects his own words had on him. "You need to do it soon, so you can stop wasting your time on a piece of shit like me, alright? I don't deserve it. Don't gimme the power to make you go crazy. The title of Batshit Insane's only reserved for me."

I brought my hands to his sides now. An instinctive action as this conversation sounded like it had small hints he'd be leaving me so quickly.

He's only just come back to me. He can't leave so soon.

"Dabi." I protested softly, feeling him hook a finger under my chin to make me look at him.

He instantly met my eyes when I looked up, lips curling with a small, genuine smile as both hands landed on my cheeks.

"Mm. Don't 'Dabi' me. I'm serious this time..." He murmured, gently squishing my cheeks. "You'll know when it's time. To get rid of me."

"How?" I muffled out.

The question caused Dabi to stop his playful actions on my face, letting his hands slowly fall from me a few moments later as he looked to me with half lidded, isolated eyes.

I've never seen him cry. I don't even know if he's able. But, more blood pooled under his eyes as he spoke.

"Because one day....I'm gonna break your heart."

He sounds so sure. As if it's doomed to happen.

The last week has felt pretty horrible though. Does he really think he hasn't hurt me enough yet?

"You already did, Dabi-"

"No. I haven't." He interrupted, voice unintentionally coming out as a weak whisper. "I can see in your eyes that I haven't."

I remained quiet to his words, knowing my face probably looked confused and frustrated as hell.

And why shouldn't it....when I don't understand why?

"When it happens...remember this conversation." He continued, keeping his gaze to the floor and away from me. "This moment. Tonight. Only remember this-and then...after you do.....walk away from me. For good."

Only remember this.

What is he trying to say?

It feels like he's saying to hold onto this moment, because this is how he truly feels, versus the day he says he's going to hurt me.

"Why do you need to break my heart though?" I sighed heavily, letting my shoulders slump with the weight of his words.

"Because." He replied vaguely, causing me to look up at him with a light deadpan glare.

He smirked softly at my obvious annoyance, lazily shrugging away some of the fresh blood from his eyes with a finger.

His finger had a slight shake in it. Something I didn't notice until now.

I was surprised when he added onto his statement.

"If you ever find out the reason for that....it means I fucked things up big time."

And while he thought he kept that statement relatively vague, he wasn't as mysterious as he thought.

Because now I know there's a specific reason he's doing this.

He looked to my features a few more seconds, taking my silence as hesitation for his ominous words. I looked his way again when he backed away a few steps towards the window. "Or...you can end it now, so you don't have to deal with it later."

Well, based on everything he's told me tonight, that would definitely be the wise thing to do.

The man just admitted he plans to emotionally hurt me sometime in the near future for a reason he can't even disclose. Call me crazy, but that flag is painted bright red with toxic stars.

Essentially, it's a choice of when I want Dabi to hurt me. It could either be now, or it could be later.

I already experienced a small glimpse of this pain a few minutes ago when I thought he left me for good and it was excruciating. It made me realize how tired I was of hurting.

It made me instantly regret pushing him away and wish he'd come back for one more night.

Then he did come back.

The last few minutes with Dabi have made me realize how much I miss him, and that I'd rather have another night with him, than nothing at all.

I know that logic won't end well in the future. But, just because love is pure, doesn't mean it always makes us do the right choices.

The truth is, I feel completely broken from the night in its entirety. I need him.

"If you stay..." I said softly, lifting my eyes from the wood floors to his frame.

His gaze burned hotly into my own, his feet not daring to move until I gave him a clearer sign I wanted him here.

"It stays the same as what I said earlier." He stated calmly, not breaking my eye contact. "You can do whatever you want to me."

My stomach began to fill with butterflies of nervous excitement at the words, at the thought of getting to be with Dabi like this after a week of missing and wishing for him to even talk to me.

With my own desperation creating shamelessness, I can admit that I need this. We both do. And now there's nothing left to stand in our way.

Not even being here in Endeavor's house.

My feet slowly padded across the floor, with Dabi watching me closely as I reached his spot within a few seconds and grabbed ahold of his wrist.

And if that answer wasn't a clear enough indicator to what I wanted, I gently began dragging him to me now, watching the corners of his lips turn up with a smile.

A smile that held hints of simultaneous relief and sadness. Yet, he also didn't have enough strength to push me away.

I pressed my chest flush to his own a few moments later, already feeling his heart picking up speed with our closeness.

Seeming more touch sensitive than I was, his eyes went heavy and mouth falling ajar with pleasure at the simple feel of my body, trying to give me one last chance to preserve my own sanity.

"If you were smart, you'd kick me out." He breathed with failed warning, too distracted with looking at my lips to care.

I ignored his words and pulled him mere inches from my face, feeling my tears running dry as his intoxicating presence numbed the pain too well.

"I know. Now kiss me."

And for all the talk Dabi just made about needing me to let him go in the near future, he didn't hesitate for another second after my words...giving in fully to his temptations and leaning in towards my face.

He let out a shaky sound before his lips meshed with mine, one that sounded simultaneously relieved and aroused. Relief that I decided to let him to stay.

And, arousal....because we both knew exactly what was coming next.

My mouth parted softly to accept his, admittedly watering just a little with starved anticipation to feel him. To taste him. It had only been an hour since we'd kissed, but, the more Dabi and I continue to push each other away so damn traumatically, the stronger the feelings come back-almost as if they're refusing to be buried under the surface, trying to show us both how useless it is to stray apart.

The moment his lips captured mine felt like electricity, sending jolts of pleasure from my mouth and up to my brain. From my brain, the feeling ran through my veins, flowing down to my chest and making my heart flutter....pooling in my stomach and tightening my core. Even going so far as to hit my toes and make them curl over something that's just barely started.

Of all the kisses Dabi and I shared, it suddenly feels as if this is the first one.

And clearly I wasn't alone in that feeling, hearing an indulgent low moan unintentionally hum from Dabi's throat when our mouths grazed. Already, he was beside himself, eyes falling closed and face melting in pleasure at my taste.

"Fuck." He panted hotly against my lips, gripping my waist tightly between his hands to ensure I wouldn't disappear into thin air. "Listen to me. The day I can't kiss you anymore...is the day this shitty world is completely dead to me."

His words caused my breath to stifle against him, my chest heaving with overwhelming passion and brushing into his with every breath in a way that already had me dizzy for more.

"No. You can't ever stop kissing me." I breathed out with euphoric need, feeling our pants intermingling as I gently gripped his face. "You're not allowed to stop. Do you understand?"

In the back of my mind, I know it's a null question. I know what's coming, but I want to forget that for a moment and pretend it won't ever end.

It seems Dabi felt the same as he nodded softly to my words, surprising me with his submitting agreement.

"Yeah. I do." He whispered hotly, pulling the words straight from his exposed soul.

He gave me no chance to recover as he took more greedily, smirking lustfully for no longer than a second before crashing his lips to mine with scalding fervor.

I moaned pathetically as he kissed me hard this time, giving into him completely and letting my mouth fall ajar as he took exactly what he wanted.

Our tongues clashed together and lips meshed desperately, swallowing each other's moans and breaths as if they were the only thing to satiate our addiction.

My hands went to the back of his neck to keep him close, my brain and desire completely synced in the way his mouth overtook mine in carnal hunger again and again. Quite honestly, my lungs burned making me realize I was in such a Dabi brain rot at the moment, I wasn't even breathing.

But, somehow, it still felt good. Being lightheaded just gave me the illusion I was high on his presence, and with the way my body's reacting to his simple touches, I may as well be.

His tongue danced along mine-his, surprisingly on the colder side from being out in the storm for so long. I wasn't expecting it, feeling a pleasurable shiver run up my spine when his chilly pants huffed down into my scalding lungs.

His fingers dug into my lower back and pulled me closer, only now making me aware of the icy, drenched clothes that clung to his body.

The rush of cold caused my breath to stifle against his lips, allowing him to easily take advantage of the opportunity and kiss me harder.

A throaty moan from him reverberated at getting to invade my mouth deeper, with his teeth unintentionally grazing against my bottom lip.

"Fuck." He grunted, losing himself fully to the moment as he glided his tongue lustfully on my lip. "There's not a damn person on the planet who will ever taste as good as you do. No one."

His words of pleasure made me lightheaded. My heart desperately drinking them in and my body getting off to them as my core was already dripping arousal down my inner thighs.

Even if I didn't answer, he knew the affect he had on me just from the harder, slightly more desperate gasps for air coming from my mouth. It was something he seemed to get off on, being able to voice and vent his desires the way he usually never does.

He couldn't help himself from doing so. The night broke him.

"Mmph, you drive me fucking crazy, do you know that?" He snarled hotly, panting heavily and pressing his fingers into my hips tightly. "You always have. By just existing. Just standing there and looking at me. Agh. I lose my god damn mind to you each time. It won't ever stop."

I moaned shakily at his words, digging my nails into the back of his neck as my muscles began to quiver from how turned on I'd become at his audible admittances of desire.

Being body to body, he held my waist tightly with one arm-so tightly, my bare feet were barely touching the floor, before trailing his other hand up my spine. He craned his neck to deepen the kiss even more, settling his hand at the back of my head to push my face closer.

"You're the curse of my fucking existence. For forcing me to feel these things. To give in to them all the time." He grunted in simultaneous frustration and arousal. "Always distracting me from my goals and making me want more."

"Good." I breathed out defiantly, drinking in each vent of his feelings as if they were the only thing to quench me. "Take more. Take everything."

My nails dug into his skin with desire as he continued to cave and make out with me, giving every piece of passion he had.

He's kissed me a million times before, but this time felt different. His actions were deeper. Hotter and more intimate. His lips never pulling back for air and his tongue never retreating from my mouth as he used it to massage and play with my own sensually.

His unleashed feelings got the better of him again a few moments later, his head no doubt spinning from how hard he's worked himself up from this moment alone.

"I always want more when it comes to you. I'm never gonna stop wanting more....until I have all of you. Do you understand?" He moaned lowly. "And even then....it still won't be enough, because you fucking consume my mind. There's no amount of you that will ever be enough to make me forget. To make me feel satisfied enough to walk away."

So, don't walk away.

That's what I wanted to say. But, I never got the chance as Dabi's mouth was already moving again.

Deciding to be a tease, he gently flicked the tip of my tongue with his own, intentionally mimicking the same pattern he often does between my legs.

The action caused me to grip him tighter and moan softly, feeling my eyes fall closed as I could already imagine such a delicious pressure-the same texture of his tongue lathering my other set of lips.

It just reminds me of the pure hold Dabi's mouth has over me, even apart from the rest of him. Whether it speaks, or pleasures me, or kisses me...it never fails to make me come undone in more ways than one.

It only made me painfully aware of the aching throb between my legs, starting to rub my thighs together to create more friction.

And while I thought I was being subtle, apparently it wasn't enough as I felt Dabi smirk into my mouth with my small shuffle, giving my tongue one more playful flick with his own before slowly sliding the muscle from my lips.

"Ah..." He hummed lowly, resting his lips against my own to catch his breath. "Someone seems extra sensitive today. What's the matter, little sapphire? Been too long since you had a proper fuck from me, huh?"

Even feeling breathless, I rolled my hazy eyes to his words, surprised my brain was still able to form a sentence from how horny I'd become in such a short time.

And such rebellious words at that. Guess the jewels stuck with me even after they'd been long deactivated.

"Mm. Not really." I panted a bit defiantly, feeling my painfully hard nipples continuously brushing against the material of my dress. "Unlike you, I've been too busy lately to even think about sex."

Lie. Lie. Lie. Wow. That's a lie if I ever heard one. Between you and I, I've thought about this man railing me on the daily, since we last got intimate. Hell, it was only last night that I had a little too much fun with the damn shower head, imagining the hard water pressure pulsing on my clit as his tongue.

The only way I could get off was to close my eyes, thinking about seeing that messy head of black hair between my legs. Scarred hands wrenching my knees further apart and tongue slurping wildly at my arousal like his life depended on it.

And even then, the orgasm wasn't the same. God, how frustrating it was to feel my hole clench so tightly around nothing. How frustrating it was to grip the shower wall instead of the meaty flesh of Dabi's shoulders and muffle my moans into my own hand instead of his mouth.

Not only that. But, how much I've changed to even pleasure myself in the first place. It's not something I would have even considered ten months ago for the embarrassment and lewdness of it all.

Now, I can't even think about going back.

It was only when Dabi's low chuckle reverberated in my eardrums that I was brought back to the present time, not knowing the moment when I'd started grinding my chest against his own to give my sensitive nipples some sort of relief in any pathetic way I could.

Probably when you were thinking about him as a shower head, idiot...

"Aww. Look at you, so desperate for me to suck those pretty nipples. How many times do I gotta tell you-you're a shitty fucking liar." He murmured hotly, mouth tickling against mine with every word.

My cheeks heated up at being caught in my own fantasies, yet Dabi only ate that up further as he gently took my bottom lip between his teeth, rolling his chest against my own to give the friction my nipples were craving.

"I am not..." I protested breathlessly, yet the slick continuing to gloss my lower lips proved it was a lie. "I was just daydreaming."

He smirked against my mouth, giving my bottom lip a soft bite as he spoke with smug confidence.

"About my cock."

"Please. Someone's full of themselves." I muttered, before he hummed knowingly.

"I'd say I have every damn right to be. I bet you're fucking dripping right now."

Accurate assumption! And people say he's stupid!

At the same time, his hands instantly went to my ass, gripping both cheeks tightly before pushing my hips forward to press against the giant, hard bulge threatening to bust through his rain drenched pants.

"Heh. But, even though I know you're lying..." He huffed smugly, biting down on my lip harder as he rolled his hips against me. "...I don't mind proving it to you all over again."

********************

THE NEXT TWO CHAPTERS ARE SMUT CHAPTERS!!! (10,000+ words each). They will only be available on Patreon TIERS 4&5!

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Next Two Chapter Titles: Sixty-Somethin' & Hard, Hard, Proof.