Top pic credit: Sharlock

Comments and votes are appreciated a lot!

A/n: the beginning of this chapter was inspired by the attack on titan season 4 pt. 2 ed (especially the scenery). It's beautiful and my favorite ending of that entire series. Even if you haven't watched the show, I highly recommend looking up that ending to get the vibe here.

One more thing. To understand what is happening here, pay attention to the chapter title.

***

__ POV:

So, was it everything you expected?

Death, I mean.

Well...to be honest, I don't know. No matter how much one tries to expect or prepare, death will always end up surprising us in the end.

We never really know what's on that other side until we're there for ourselves.

And while I imagined the moment for many years, I never really thought about what death itself would hold, as strange as it is to say.

It was always about what would come after it. When I would finally stop chasing after the ones who always beat me to the finish line.

There's a piece of you that never returns when your loved ones leave you. I felt the only way to get that piece back was by joining them.

I wanted to die...because I thought...that's the only way I'd be able to feel alive again.

But, if there was one thing I learned in the moment, it was that I never felt alive at all because I never truly lived.

Of course those pieces will always be missing. Yes, they won't ever be found because that's the double edged sword of love. It clings to your heart strongly. So much so, it can't even let those parts go in the afterlife.

But, the truth is that I lived to die. I merely just existed, and let the world trample over any worth or happiness I could have found. All for the sake of people who were no longer there.

Loss is hard.

I never moved on from it. So, it ate me alive instead. I channeled all that grief into the only way I knew how, but that doesn't make it right.

When the spear went through my chest, I knew instantly I was going to die.

I was scared. Very scared. My first thoughts were of Touya and my mom, wondering if they were just as scared as I was in that moment.

But, more than anything, I was sad. My life flashed before my eyes, but not just in memories. It flashed with things I never got to do. Things I didn't even realize I wanted until that very moment when it was too late.

Life is precious. Even if it doesn't feel that way sometimes, it is. And I can admit...that I willingly threw my life away from the age of fourteen years old.

My spirit died a long time ago.

I gave up on all my dreams and lived as an empty shell. I let fear and grief control every aspect of my life, losing full sight of my own identity.

It was terrifying that...in death....I didn't know who I was.

Who was Violet Sasaki? I never found out the answer. Even now...I still don't have the answers.

It's quiet here. There's nothing and no one....but me...forever in the dark.

Even here, I'm alone. Before I wished for nothing but death, and now I wish for nothing more than to live another day.

The darkness continued to loom in every direction, leaving me lost in every sense.

It wasn't until I heard the sound of soft footsteps that I realized I wasn't as alone as I thought, looking around in confusion before a figure made themselves known.

They came out from the shadows, not even seeming to notice me at first as they hummed softly to themselves and continued walking. While the rest of the world was dark, they held all the light, illuminating the space perfectly for me to catch a glimpse of their presence.

Truly, I thought my eyes were deceiving me as I looked to the person, blinking wildly to clear whatever dream delusions clouded my vision.

It was....it was really...

"T..Touya..?" I breathed out in shock, gawking at the sight of the white haired boy in front of me.

He stopped walking upon hearing his name, slowly turning towards me and furrowing his brows in confusion.

I felt frozen when our eyes finally met, looking at each other from across the darkness.

Even if he felt miles away, his gaze had never been more clear to me. I'd been waiting to see that shade of blue from his eyes for years, yet it wasn't as missed as I was expecting.

It feels like I've been looking at him the whole time. Like he never left.

He was exactly how I remembered him, only younger. Maybe twelve...thirteen years old. Fresh faced and floppy white hair flowing in the soft breeze that had come to life in the wake of his presence.

"Grape? You're not supposed to be here..." He inquired with a bit of amusement, crossing his arms with that sass I was always so fond of.

I didn't know how to feel. How to process it all. When I thought of the times I'd see Touya again after I died, I never knew if he'd be a boy or a man-and-

What of me? Am I a woman or a girl? Do I even exist, or is this some sick game the universe is playing with my mind?

Can Touya...see me? Because I can't see myself. I can't see anything except him.

There were so many things I wanted to tell him. So much I wanted to say. But, suddenly, I'm speechless.

What are you supposed to say to a dead boy?

"Well...I-I came to see you, Touya..." I uttered raspily, unable to take my stunned eyes off him.

He chuckled lightly at my words, gesturing to the darkness as if it held something I wasn't able to see.

"I see you everyday, Violet." He pointed out warmly, only making my confusion rise.

"What...do you mean?"

"What do you mean?" He countered playfully, studying my panicked expressions with deeper realization now. "You look really lost."

So, he can see me. Even if I can't see myself.

Staring at him in blank silence, I did the only thing I could think of...trying to take a single step forward before realizing I couldn't move.

He tilted his head with that typical boyish curiosity, watching me trying to come over to him without success.

Even in death, I can't come to him. What was all of this for then?

This must be hell.

He was so far away. I wanted to cry, but physically I was unable, almost feeling paralyzed in place as I could only speak to him.

"I...I am. I'm so lost." I agreed blankly, simply looking back to him in the sea of darkness.

He pursed his lips a bit sadly for my state, rubbing the back of his neck in contemplation while gazing around the shadows.

"Well...fine." He caved, still sounding like his usual stubborn self. "But, I can't show you for long, okay?"

I didn't have a clue about what he was talking about, but I nodded anyways, watching him wave me on to follow him.

Suddenly, I could move, still unable to see myself but blindly following Touya through the darkness.

Even if he moved at a slow pace, it was still too fast, forcing me to move as fast as my being would allow me and catch up.

But, even if I was barely in his sight, I never fully caught up to his side, forever chasing the sliver of light trail he left behind.

I wished for nothing more than to reach out and touch him. But, the forces kept us separate. Even in death.

The more I ran after him, the more the darkness began to fade into something else. I didn't know what, but I kept running anyway, feeling the rays becoming brighter and brighter until I couldn't see anything but light.

"I'd close your eyes for this part." Touya recommended laxly, fading completely from my sight and into the light.

Following his advice, I squeezed my eyes shut and blindly kept running. Not knowing what was on the other side, but going to it anyways.

I can't let fear hold me back any longer. What is there to lose, anyways?

Even behind my closed lids, the brightness became unbearable before it disappeared all at once, causing my eyes to fly open.

My body came to an automatic halt at what I saw next.

It was a field, but not just any type. The hills of it were filled with flowers that stretched all the way to the mountain horizons.

The sight was breathtaking. But, I didn't feel the least bit of peace. If anything, I felt out of place, like I'm intruding on something I shouldn't.

Touya hummed lightly a few feet ahead of me, basking in the soft sun before looking ahead of his spot.

I followed his eyes, seeing a purple haired girl with a floppy gardening hat kneeling in the field of flowers.

She looked happy, planting a new set of seeds in the soil and babbling nonsense to herself that only she understood.

She was a stranger.

She was me.

It was only from her appearance that I even recognized her.

"Why...am I here?" I breathed out, trying to take another step forward out of instinct.

But, once again, I was unable to move...simply watching the little girl plant her flowers from afar.

She didn't see me. Even if I was only a few feet away, she didn't hear me either.

"We're all here." Touya pointed out, barely glancing back at me. "Death isn't just a physical thing, you know."

I blinked a few times in confusion, causing him to slowly turn around.

His small body walked through the rows of flowers, letting his fingers graze the petals as he spoke.

"People die more than once all the time, and never even realize it. A person's true soul is just as much of a loss as anything else. Even if we can't see it die, it still does."

He stopped his path when he came across a specific type of flower. A blue and purple one.

Gently, he plucked the bloom and held it up, watching the petals flutter softly in the wind.

"When that happens, our souls come here to preserve themselves....waiting for the day we can become reborn again. If we're really lost, sometimes it takes years." He murmured, slowly approaching me a few moments later.

He held the flower out for me to take.

I looked down at it blankly, feeling my arms move again and slowly take the petal from him.

His lips curled with a soft smile as I did so, nodding in content before looking out to the field of flowers proudly. "Anyways, you've grown quite the garden, huh?"

I gazed out to the scenery with him, looking at my little self with realization before back to the rows of countless flowers.

"Y..You mean...I made this?" I questioned in surprise, looking down to the bloom in my hand.

Touya didn't seem the least bit surprised at my green thumb, snorting softly at how little faith I had in my own abilities.

"Duh. You've had a lot of time to grow them here. Plus, you love planting flowers, remember?" He murmured, keeping his arms crossed as he looked out to the rows and rows of them.

I sighed softly to the words, shrugging absentmindedly.

"I mean...I did...a long time ago..." I muttered, letting the flower in my hand catch on the breeze. "But...then I...grew up."

Little Touya and I watched as the petals became swept up in the wind, swirling and dancing happily before disappearing into the background.

"There's a fine line between what it means to grow...and what it means to die." He said, letting his eyes fall closed peacefully.

When did he get so wise? And at such a young age...

"How do you know?"

"Because I had the same problem." He admitted, crouching down to pluck another flower. "I was so obsessed with growing, I was only dying instead. I think I've finally learned the difference now though. That means I can go back soon, too."

Learned the difference?

Go back?

There were so many terms I didn't understand, and yet I was okay with it. I had a feeling that I wasn't supposed to understand anything, let alone be talking to the soul of Touya's inner child.

I don't even know where I am right now.

Despite so many unknowns, I felt myself relaxing quicker than expected, looking around the garden a little more freely now.

It really was beautiful. Apparently, I even planted a few ficus' along the base of the mountain. Good touch, little me.

Little Touya remained next to me in his purest form, making me glance down at his adorable presence with curiosity before I chuckled.

Of all the questions I could have asked...

"Why am I the only....grown one here...?" I mused with quiet peace, hearing Touya laugh with me.

"Well, souls don't age. I might look young, but I'm actually a lot older than you realize. So are you. We've had many different lives together, you know." He chuckled.

Once again, I couldn't even begin to wrap my head around Touya's words, shaking my head in a way that caused him to move on.

"But, if you wanna get technical with it-and you always do-you're the only 'grown' one here because it wasn't just your soul that died." He explained, pointing to my little self with the new flower in hand. "It was also your physical body."

Out of instinct, I looked down to my frame now, surprised I was able to actually see my body for the first time since I've been here.

Slowly, I outstretched my hands, seeing they were no longer drenched with blood how I left them. They were clean and soft.

But, it only begs the question...

Touya was sixteen when he died. He clearly wasn't the age as this little soul next to me.

So...by that logic, his sixteen year old body should be here, too.

"Where is your physical body then?" I asked, looking around the area in question.

Touya didn't look with me, smiling softly as he continued watching little me garden.

"After today, I think I'll be returned to it actually. He's finally had a change of heart." He murmured, holding the flower to his chest with warmth. "It's been so long..."

I didn't understand. But, unlike the other things about this place, my confusion about these words from Touya didn't sit right with me.

Since he died...I assumed his physical body would be here. But...Little Touya makes it sounds like...

Like he never...

"H..Huh?" I breathed out, looking to the soul for guidance.

Touya didn't seem the least bit bothered, letting his own flower become swept up by the wind now.

"This isn't the final destination. So, the fact that you came here instead...I think it means you're going back, too." He whispered softly, smiling as he watched his flower fly against the pink sky.

But, his smile faded a few moments later, turning into something of sadness and disappointment.

He touched his own chest, as if the feelings stemmed from within himself. Something he did.

"Listen. When we go back...I think you're gonna be really angry with me, and I understand that. But...you've spent so much time...here..." He murmured, gesturing to my little self. "Our souls...they're intertwined, you know. They'll always follow each other through time, so mine can't be without yours for very long."

The feeling was indescribable as I watched Little Touya look to Little me. I didn't recognize the soft emotion on his face, even though I'd seen it from him a million times when he was alive.

I only didn't recognize it because I was too young to understand what it meant at the time. I was too oblivious and in the moment to know.

But, now it's as if I'm seeing my own relationship with Touya as an outsider, watching the truth of how our feelings played out.

We loved each other. Even if it was the catalyst to destruction. We truly did love each other.

"When your soul grows, so does mine." He explained, eyes twinkling as Little me watered the new seeds. "When it dies....mine dies, too. So, don't lose your soul again, Grape. Be angry with me. Grieve. Do what you have to. But....then...find your way back. Keep going this time. Okay?"

I didn't know what to say, but I know I wanted to stay here longer and find out.

Though, it seems...I didn't have that luxury.

Touya watched Little me for a few more moments, nodding in content before placing his hands in his pockets.

"I guess it's finally time for us to go." He smiled lightly, slowly starting to back away from me in the field.

I attempted to follow him, but once again, I couldn't-feeling my body paralyzed in place.

Looking up, panic quickly set in as Touya gave me one lasting, parting grin...turning on his heel before slowly walking his way through the field of flowers.

The world around us began to change with his leave. The blissful breeze picked up its pace. The faint sky slowly started to cloud over.

I wanted to follow him. But...

"Wait! Touya...what are you-"

"You said it to me back there, so I'll tell you now before we part-" Touya said calmly, turning around to face me one more time.

His white hair fluttered quickly in the roaring winds now, with petals of flowers and rays of light starting to swirl around his frame.

"Let's live a good life this time, Violet. A better one..." He encouraged, letting his head fall back as he began to disappear beyond the blooms.

The fields of flowers began to disarray from the winds, with petals swirling up in a madness and concealing my sight.

"Touya, please! Don't go!!" I yelled, grimacing as the winds roared loud enough to shatter my hearing.

I couldn't see him anymore. But, I was able to hear his voice for the last time.

Only...

This time, his voice came out as the voice of a man. The man version of Touya.

The voice that I instantly recognized...

"Violet. Don't lose sight of your soul."

Silence.

Within an instant, the world went dark again.

The roaring winds cut off sharply. The petals and flowery hills turned to black.

Not a sense was felt. Not a sound was heard.

Except...

'You want to die because you hope you'll see Touya, right?'

My head echoed with a gasp. One that sounded like my own as I tried to process the voice through the darkness.

I know that voice.

Because it's the voice I just heard. The last words I heard from Touya just now before he vanished in the flower petals.

Except. It's also the voice of...

Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

The sound of a heartbeat. But, it doesn't even sound like my own.

'Touya's been here the whole time.'

The roar of a spirit washed over the words, knocking them into shattered pieces on the floor and making my scattered brain desperately try to pick up each one.

Touya's...been here the whole time? What does that even mean? Where is here? It's just dark...?-

'I came back to you. Do you understand?'

No. No...I don't understand-

'You can't give up. You can't die. If you want to see Touya, you need to live.'

What is happening...

I just saw you, Touya. In the garden.

Why is your voice coming out so raspy? So anguished. So much like...

Like-

'Stay here with me so you can watch me fulfill your promise, because I never break your promises, remember?'

The darkness continued to swallow me. I couldn't register my own body, and yet I felt something inside my chest splitting apart, wishing I could scream from the pain.

And, then...for just a single second in eternity...

My eyes flashed with something I never got to see until now.

It was the image of Dabi. He was looking down at me with bloody tears running down his cheeks and the Todoroki home burning behind him.

The sky was storming, with the rain coming down on his face powerfully.

It had been enough to wash away all the black from his hair, leaving behind the pure white I've come to know for years. His striking blue eyes looked into mine with all that emotion I've seen in my dreams since the first day I met him all those years ago.

His quivering mouth moved desperately, spilling a truth that my conscience had deemed utterly forbidden.

'I'm your Touya, Violet. It's me-'

A suffocating gasp tore from my lungs as my eyes flew open, instantly burning my corneas from the shock of living light.

Instinctively, I sat up in a panic before I could process anything else-feeling my own body for the first time in what felt like years when a sharp pain rang up my spine and through my muscles.

My lungs felt tight and unused, causing me to hunch over in place with violent hacks before I steeled my hands on whatever I was sitting on.

Silk and expensive blankets. A big difference from the cold, rainy mud I remember suffocating on...

Where the hell am I now...

My rusty heart pounded... my chest heaved. I blinked my fuzzy eyes and looked wildly around the area, seeing the shapes slowly focusing into familiar reality.

Gold. Gold everywhere, with a rainbow array of jewels decorating the walls.

There's no mistaking such elegance and those expensive drapes on the polished windows. No mistaking the king sized room I'd left before the battle, with the pajamas I'd changed out of this morning-or whenever I was last here...now clean and folded atop the gilded desk in the corner.

I'd recognize this place anywhere.

I was back in Midas' mansion. Which can only mean...

I'm...alive.

The more my eyes refocused their vision back to the living, the more my panic subsided. My body tested each of its senses as I relaxed into the bed, feeling the white faux fur of the blanket underneath my fingertips...smelling the familiar scent of apples and cinnamon that made it feel like the holidays all the time around here.

The space was completely quiet, aside from the birds chirping softly outside to let me know I could in fact hear. There was an unpleasant taste of bitterness in my mouth...

And, I didn't care about any of it.

Because whatever has just happened to me...wherever I was before waking up here...

I didn't forget a thing.

Meeting Little Touya in that time realm-seeing Little me...and most of all...those unspeakable words I just heard right before I opened my eyes...

'I'm your Touya, Violet.'

Those words...coming from the person I never imagined I would hear in this lifetime.

To be honest...it freaked me the hell out more than anything else.

The single sentence hadn't stopped echoing into my head now, practically bringing me back to consciousness all on its own.

I couldn't react. I couldn't even process it, feeling my face blank and frozen as I tried to decipher my own bogus thoughts.

Was it real? Or...was it just my deceased mind playing tricks on me? I was hallucinating right? Seeing Little Touya and me in a field of flowers-talking to him-or his soul-or...

See? It all sounds insane, doesn't it? That's how hallucinations usually are...

They aren't real...

And, yet...

I just can't get Dabi's voice...in that moment...out of my head...or his words...

Or his face. The face that was so emotional....the hair that was so white, and eyes so blue...

My thoughts began to swim as I tried to put the pieces together, doing my best to envision every single thing I remembered before losing consciousness at the Todoroki home...

But, a soft twinkling sound in the corner caught my attention now, causing my racing mind to put itself on hold as I slowly turned my stiff neck in the direction of the quiet noise.

It was only now that I realized how dark the room was, even though the sun was trying to peek through the curtains.

A figure was sitting on one of the decorative chairs, hiding itself in the shadows. Only a pair of gloved hands were visible through the patches of light that scattered the room sporadically.

The hands held a little music box...slowly continuing to wind the lever back again...and again....and again before gently setting it on the coffee table in front of them.

I looked to the little device in silence, watching the tiny ballerina on top mechanically spin around and around as the box chimed with a slow, steady tune.

Quite honestly, the music felt eery...or...perhaps, it was the moment giving off such a weird, threatening vibe. I wasn't sure.

An odd feeling settled in my gut. Suddenly...I had a sense that I was trapped.

The figure and I said nothing as the twinkle of the box continued, illuminating the room with a mysterious darkness.

It was only when the person finally leaned forward in their chair that half of their face appeared in one of the sun spots, giving away their identity.

But, even if I recognized him by the features of his face....he's never looked like more of a stranger to me than in this moment.

"I've always loved these little music boxes..." Midas murmured blankly, resting his elbows atop his knees as he watched the little box twinkle.

The shadows hit him at odd angles. The only side of his face that showed gave away a set of dark circles that looked permanently sunken into his skin. His eyes were bloodshot and half lidded. His normally well kept hair looked shaggier and messier than usual...

He kept staring at the box with an unreadable expression glazed in his eyes, looking more frightening and dangerous than I could have imagined.

"So long as you wind the box up....it always keeps going..." He continued vacantly. "...doing its job...exactly how it's supposed to..."

My throat felt strained when I swallowed, yet the grimace that suddenly formed on my face came more from the anticipation of this moment.

I didn't know where it was building to. Hell, I didn't even know what happened after I lost consciousness.

Where is everyone? The Todorokis...Tsuyo...

...Dabi.

"Did you know I used to make music boxes like these? I'd construct them from my jewels. My quirk made them worth a fortune, yet I'd only sell them for pretty pennies." Midas continued, not even blinking as he watched the ballerina robotically spin. "It's because I wasn't greedy. I just gathered what I could to get us by..."

Us?

Lightly pressing his chapped lips together, he weakly pointed his finger...touching the tip of it to the ballerina's head with the utmost fragility as he daydreamed out loud.

"She always loved the music boxes. Especially...the ones with the ballerinas on top."

She?

The twinkling sound of the box finally died out a few moments later, leaving Midas and I to stare at it in silence.

Yet, he simply chuckled weakly and grabbed it again, winding it up as far as it would go before setting it back on the table.

An inhale of relief sounded from his nose when the same tune began repeating itself without fail, causing him to hum at such reliability.

"Music doesn't betray you." He concluded, tilting his head to the twinkling box with admiration. "So long as you play the notes exactly how you're supposed to....the tune will always be beautiful..."

I shuffled uncomfortably in the bed, causing his eyes to barely look up and notice me.

"Oh, you're awake." Midas murmured lowly, yet he had to have already gathered that quite awhile ago. "Welcome back to the land of the living, my dear. You gave us all quite the scare..."

For the first time since I've known him...his words didn't sound genuine.

He didn't seem scared at all. Honestly...he doesn't even seem excited to have me back...

It's contradicting to all the qualities he's shown me over the months I've known him. He always appeared like he cared for me a lot. Like my lack of presence would legitimately be a big loss in his life.

Now...I've basically just been brought back from the dead, and he barely looked up with a single glance.

The music box continued to twinkle, causing me to fiddle uncomfortably with the soft fur of the blanket as I finally braved the room and spoke for the first time.

"What...what...happened..." I trailed off raspily, sounding as if my vocal chords had been completely ripped from my throat.

It was a vague question honestly. I don't know what answer I was expecting from him. But, surely something more descriptive than what he replied with. Especially given his chattery nature.

"You died." He stated bluntly, watching the music box as it faded out once more.

I flinched a bit at such harsh truth from him. Usually, he'd lace the words in sugarcoated reassurance to lessen the ugliness of it all. To put me at ease.

He didn't do that this time...

Unconsciously, my fingers gripped the blanket a little tighter now. My head slowly faced forward in realization, reality hitting me with a scary dose of the truth.

So, it's true.

I wasn't just unconscious. I wasn't in some sort of coma. I wasn't dreaming this whole thing. No...I really...

I really...

"You died..." Midas repeated with distant confirmation, winding up the music box for a countless time. "...and out of the kindness of my heart...I brought you back to life."

The twinkling sound had been revived once more, with Midas slowly leaning back in his chair and kicking his polished shoes up on the glass coffee table.

The sun spots in the room had moved. His new change in position showed both of his eyes now, along with his mouth. But...no other features of his face.

"I truly didn't think I could do it, so it was quite the experience for both of us." He mused a bit, with his voice becoming a little lighter after talking of his own accomplishments. "I also don't believe I could do it again, given the insurmountable amount of jewels I expended on you. That I.V. in your arm costs more than the entire continent of North America."

Upon hearing his words, I looked down at my arm, only now noticing the tube taped to the inside of it.

It was connected to a bag hanging overhead next to me, with the wine colored, glowing solution having been almost completely drained to the bottom.

...what...is this-

"They've heard of blood infusion, but I bet they've never heard of a jewel infusion." He answered my thoughts, finally rising to his feet now. "I took every multicolored jewel within my arsenal and crushed them up, creating a special elixir before putting it into your arm."

The slow moving sound of his shoes echoed off the high ceilings of the room, making me feel his presence from every angle even if he was only in one space.

It felt...suffocating.

He moved from the shadows to the sun spots with his walk, his face too far away to be visible to me.

"I used about five years' worth of my own resources on you...." He muttered, instantly stopping himself from saying more.

He sounded annoyed about that. Like I definitely just burdened the hell out of him by dying...

But, if that's really true...then why did he bring me back?

Slowly, he glided his bloodshot eyes over to me now. The look made me jump a bit. With no other features of his face, I could only decipher his mood based on his eyes.

They looked evil. Terrifying. Hateful.

And, yet...

"But, I did it all for you. Because I care for you....so much, darling."

His tone held a sickly, sweet warmth. Almost so forced, it came off sarcastic.

"I've cared....and cared....and tried...and hoped....that there would come a time you'd finally come around, dear Violet." He drawled out darkly, looking up to the murals on the ceiling distractedly. "I even worked tirelessly for over a day to bring you back to life after you willingly killed yourself....with only another failed-sabotaged mission from you given back to me in return."

My chest physically stung from the memory of Kaito's spear plunging through it, having just been confirmed that Midas knew how this whole thing happened.

How I saved Natsuo.

You'd think a man who preaches all about beauty would be happy I sacrificed myself for the greater good of the situation...

"How much more generous...can one man be?" He breathed out, stopping his walk near the window. "Even the most patient ones of us all have a breaking point, you know..."

That sounds like some sort of threat.

He's never threatened me before.

I watched with unease as Midas faced the window, jaw tensing and relaxing like he was trying to hold in his anger.

"Kindness...shouldn't have a price." He said calmly, seeming as if he was trying to remind us both of this. "But...your....actions...are pushing me there with no choice. Do you understand?"

"I'm...sorry..." I whispered nervously, feeling the tension rising with each passing second.

To make things worse, he didn't even acknowledge my apology, starting to get wrapped up in his own thoughts as he ignored me and continued looking out the window.

"I was really hoping we'd get along. I hate...being disappointed." He clicked his tongue, furrowing his brows in what looked to be genuine hurt feelings. "My entire life was always one big disappointment after the other. It's triggering to constantly be reminded of your past."

Don't I know that...

Slowly, he turned his eyes away from the window now, tilting his head at me with mock curiosity.

"Do you know what happened to the last person who disappointed me like this?"

I don't know. And judging by the fact I've never met this person or seen them around...I have a pretty good idea of where they are now...

His eyes gradually pooled darker the longer he looked at me, his normally chipper demeanor slowly starting to crack against his will.

It was only when I shuffled nervously in the bed that he realized he was showing too much, blinking away his own thoughts before ripping his eyes from me.

"Anyways..." He dismissed lowly, clearing his throat to try and salvage his reputation. "I...genuinely care for you, my dear. I mean that in the highest respect, and bringing you back to life should prove that now. Yes?"

I suppose...in that sense...it should prove he cares about me. The man did work tirelessly to bring me back to life after all.

So, why don't I feel any better about it...

He kept his eyes away from me, slowly resuming his pacing around the perimeter of the room.

"I only give second chances...to my very closest friends. Because...that's how I think of us. As friends." He emphasized, looking to me with a raised brow. "Do you agree?"

...I mean.....I would be inclined to agree...

"And one sided friendships..." He continued, voice neutral and steady. "...where only one person gives.....that doesn't seem like a real friendship, does it? It seems more like manipulation and leeching on your part, right?"

That was the first time...he's ever downright accused me of something.

Manipulation? Leeching? Is that how he sees me?

It caught me off guard, making my heart jump with a panic.

Admittedly, it wasn't just a panic for possibly getting myself into trouble with Midas, but also the fact that he could look at me in such a negative light.

Especially because....he did bring me back to life. He did expend a lot of resources on me when he didn't have to.

Do I really...appear so poorly to him?

I didn't realize how much I'd come to rely on the man and enjoy his company. Even after everything that's happened with the Todorokis...I somehow still want him to like me.

I miss and crave for his bright energy, feeling saddened and disheartened that he's cast this shadow of darkness over me for the first time.

Imagine that...

He watched my falling face with narrowed, sharp eyes, instantly bubbling back to sweetness when he got the reaction from me he'd hoped for.

"But, I know you'd never do that. Because I have too much faith...too much trust in you." He said, voice barely seeping back with a sliver of warmth I was used to.

By the sound of his footsteps, I gathered he was coming towards me now, feeling my muscles coiling with tension.

I jumped when he placed a hand on my shoulder, confused by how caring and warm the touch felt, given the dark aura this conversation held.

As if I were a child, he slowly kneeled next to the bed so we were eye level, squeezing my shoulder softly for my attention.

But, I didn't give it, still feeling uneasy about the conversation and his mood.

Sensing I'd had enough, Midas hummed with his usual warmth now, instantly turning his kindness back on in a quick switch.

"Violet. Look at me, darling." He coaxed gently, chuckling with a soft smile. "Truly, there's nothing to be afraid of."

He tapped the back of his finger against my cheek lightly, causing me to slowly look his way.

A sigh of relief came from my throat automatically when I saw the face I recognized. It happened so quick...I almost had to question whether or not I even saw such darkness from him in the first place.

Hallucinations. I've been seeing a lot of those today...

His smile turned brighter upon seeing my eyes, adoring my features before giving my head a pat.

"I apologize for being so improper and nasty today." He sighed sadly, looking to my I.V. arm with a new amount of concern. "Your death...it affected me deeply, you see. I haven't been able to sleep or eat. I've been angry with everyone because I've been so worried about you. About the way you put yourself in danger so recklessly yesterday."

While his words were meant to be reassuring, something about them didn't sit right with me.

He's not wrong that I put myself in danger. But, 'recklessly?' I don't believe that's the case at all. I believe I put myself in danger for a very good reason. And, no matter how much I'm battling my inner loyalties towards Midas', that is something I can't deny.

"Natsuo was in danger. I don't regret saving him." I defended warily, preparing for the sour change in mood that would probably accompany my words.

But...to my surprise...

"And I don't want you to regret it." Midas reassured kindly. "It was very admirable. I don't fault you for doing what you did."

My brows furrowed in confusion now, not expecting that genuine bout of support.

Huh?

"You....don't..?"

Saving Natsuo is the whole reason Midas' plan didn't succeed in the first place. He was upset about the failed mission...but, he's not upset about how it happened?

He shook his head in dismissal, grazing the jewel necklace around his own neck when it started to glow softly.

"Of course not. I couldn't ever fault you. You were simply correcting my error." He admitted, bowing his head to me with humility. "I said no one would get hurt, and I was mistaken. If anything, I should be thanking you for doing such a thing."

His words sounded genuine, filling me with quite a bit of ease for his presence now.

It's not like a villain to openly admit their own wrong doings like Midas does-he even went so far as to thank me and admit the hero was right in that situation.

See? He means well. He really does. I knew he didn't want anyone to get hurt.

A small bead of sweat glided down his temple for a reason I didn't understand. His fist was balled tightly, causing him to unfurl it shakily before it became too noticeable.

"Well, I'm glad you see it that way..." I murmured a little more comfortably, fiddling with the fur blanket under my fingertips. "I was worried...I upset you."

Midas hummed with reassurance, clearing his throat a bit when the sound came out strained.

"Nooo, no, no. You didn't upset me one bit, my dear. I'm so sorry I made you feel that way." He said, grabbing the glass of water on the night table next to him. "Just because the mission failed doesn't mean I'm not extremely proud of you, darling. I admire your generosity. I only wish others valued you the same way I do."

Lifting a hand behind my neck, he gently lifted my head and placed the glass to my mouth, causing me to start drinking.

"I'd lock you in a little bubble if I could. Just to make sure another hair on your adorable, little head wouldn't ever be harmed again. I just might have to one day." He muttered more to himself, tilting the glass a little too far into my mouth.

My parched throat gulped quicker when the water came out faster, holding up a weak hand to signal him to stop.

Coming back to reality, he instantly lowered the glass now, smiling at me encouragingly as he placed the empty cup on the table.

"The point is, I will be the utmost loyal to you, Violet. I will protect you and offer you a lifetime of riches. I'll make sure you're cared for...for the rest of your life-if....you show me the same respect." He explained, with the warmth in his voice stiffening a bit at the end.

He said nothing more, looking at me expectantly for an answer this time.

But, what do I say to all of this? His mood was all over the place. It was all a little overwhelming.

...suffocating.

"I'm....sorry again." I simply repeated with the only thing I could think of, hoping that would be enough to cut it.

Unlike last time, Midas nodded to my apology now, offering me a small handkerchief for the water droplets that had gathered on my chin.

"I heard you the first time." He acknowledged patiently, giving me the light discipline look of a parent. "But, do you really mean it?"

A valid question because I can't really confirm what I'm sorry for. I feel sorry for upsetting him, but not for what I did.

I'd jump in front of a hundred spears and die every time if it meant I'd save my loved ones.

Midas smiled dryly and nodded in his own confirmation to my silence, looking down to the ground with his own thoughts.

"I would hate for us..to one day reach a point...where 'sorry' just doesn't cut it anymore. Right?" He whispered quietly, voice holding a threat more subtle than his earlier ones.

I felt his eyes burning into my face as I wiped the water from my mouth, swallowing nervously and giving him a simple nod.

He pressed his lips together and kept his composure, quickly dismissing the eery statement with his next words.

"No need to worry about that though, because I know this won't happen again." He said a little brighter. "I look forward to this new leaf in our partnership, Violet-the one where you finally start reciprocating all the efforts I've given you. I believe it will change things for the better. I can't wait to see what you can actually do."

He chuckled lightly, giving my shoulder a soft squeeze before slowly rising to his feet.

"After all, I've never been know to offer anyone a third chance. I don't believe it's necessary to start now, right?"

Another threat....buried under his subtleties and passive aggression

....I can't tell how he feels about me anymore...

He didn't give me a chance to answer, already turning on his heel and walking towards the door.

"Lay down and go to sleep now." He said over his shoulder, with the words sounding more like an order. "I'll be in to check on you in a little while."

I sighed to his words, hesitantly laying back down in the pillows when he turned around at the door.

I'm not tired in the slightest anymore. But, I think...according to him...I should be doing whatever he tells me to...

He leaned his side against the doorframe and crossed his arms, pressing a touched hand to his chest at the sight of me tucked away in the big bed.

"I'm so happy to have you back, darling. Truly, I can't wait to see the things we'll achieve together." He smiled stiffly, slowly creaking the door closed behind him.

The sound of the click a few moments later echoed softly in the room, letting me know I was finally alone.

After such an eery conversation I had with Midas, the best thing to do would be to take his orders and get some rest.

But, after everything that's happened....my mind feels wide awake.

My thoughts couldn't pick a place to settle. Bouncing between Midas....the fate of Tsuyo...Kaito....the Todorokis...

My death. What I saw during it.

And....most of all...

"I'm your Touya, Violet."

My fingers dug tightly into the sheets, trying to close my eyes and push it all away.

It made me feel sick to my stomach to think about. How cruel my mind is to play such a trick on me. Haven't I been tortured enough?

There's no way it really happened. I know that. And, yet, Dabi's voice echoed so clearly into my head each time it was repeated.

The tone of his voice. The cracks and whimpers between his words. Even the breathless way his lungs gave out towards the end...or the sniffle of his nose.

It was all too real.

So real...my mind and body were both having a hard time deciphering hallucinations from reality.

There wasn't any escape anymore. No way for denial to quell whatever knowledge and questions I subconsciously knew.

Behind my closed lids, Dabi's face appeared, causing a shaky gasp to fall from my mouth at how he looked.

I'm unable to see him the same.

He no longer had black hair, but that familiar icy white hair. His skin didn't have those deep, purple grafts, but rather light scarring that showed the true features of his face.

His eyes hadn't changed shades of blue, and that terrified me the most...

That just by a simple change in hair color...he looks identical to Touya.

But, no. It can't be.

After all, Touya died as a teenager. I don't even know what he'd look like as an adult. This is all just another way for my mind to play tricks on me-morphing Touya and Dabi together to create what my brain wants to see.

I squeezed my eyes shut tighter and tried to clear my mind for rest...

But, like I said....the thoughts suddenly couldn't be quelled.

It's as if I'd died and been reborn with a new brain completely. One more stubborn...with refusal to be ignored any longer.

It was still a white haired Dabi running wild in my imagination, only now my brain had gone a step further...reflecting back on the conversations him and I have had in these last ten months...pondering on all his mannerisms and words.

The way he smiles, always twitching the right side of his lips up before his left.

How about running a hand through his hair when he gets nervous or awkward.

His teases. His humor. The roll of his eyes whenever I say something that annoys him.

How awkward he gets with affection.

The more my brain woke up, the more specific the pieces began to reveal themselves.

...his abnormal hatred for Endeavor.

His knowledge of Shouto as the golden child.

Blurting out things about myself I never remembered telling him.

The way he treats Akio-even from their very first meeting, he didn't treat him like a stranger.

...come to think of it...he never really treated me like one when we first met either. He was always more trusting of me compared to others.

And that's very unlike him.

Slowly, my eyes opened themselves, staring blankly at the murals on the ceiling as memory after memory glazed my mind, leaving me to wonder why my brain was going to such extreme lengths to warp the truth.

Because my imagination is wrong. Dabi is not Touya.

Yes, you might be getting frustrated with me for fighting my mind, but you don't understand...

I saw him die.

With my own two eyes, I watched Touya Todoroki suffer to the very end.

The sounds of his shrieks still bleed in my eardrums. His suffocated gasps for air tear my newly rejuvenated heart back in two.

The way he reached out for me. The way I was unable to help him.

And, while I know that Touya died, my brain always blocked out exactly how it happened.

But, now...for the first time in years, a false sense of smoke clouds my nostrils. My heart pounded faster as flashes of fire show in the trees above my head. My chest slowly started to heave as I saw flames physically tearing the skin of Touya's stomach apart-

My mind hasn't ever gone this deep into the memories...

I whimpered softly and sat upright in the bed now, feeling my breathing get heavier as if I'd just ran a marathon.

My mouth fell open softly, my brows furrowing in fear as my mind slowly began to eat away at the wall I'd built in my own mind for so long.

Not only am I starting to relive the trauma of Touya' death, but now introducing a whole new possibility I'd never thought imaginable.

To say it's overwhelming would be an understatement.

It's the equivalent of flipping my entire universe upside down, of legitimately changing my life as I've always known it.

I watched him die. It's not true. No...it's not true.

He's been dead for almost nine years.

I mourned him for almost nine years.

And, yet, I clenched my teeth and hunched forward as the god forsaken words echoed into my head again, making me feel like I was gonna hurl.

'I'm your Touya, Violet-'

"Enough!!!" I spat at myself, smacking the side of my own head harshly.

I wasn't well enough for that in the slightest, feeling a sharp pain ring throughout my brain. Yet, I smacked myself again and again as punishment each time the sentence repeated.

It only got louder with time, hearing small cries that belonged to my own throat as I smacked myself harder.

You're really losing your mind...

Warm, thick liquid seeped out of my nostril now, its metallic taste making the way down to my tongue.

Giving up on assaulting myself, I dropped both hands back on the bed with a growl, feeling my insanity picking up right where it left off before I died.

Because I was in a bad place then. I remember now. Saving Natsuo and dying doesn't change what I was going through internally.

No, if anything, I'd gotten what I wanted. I wanted to die for reasons like these. So, I'd be free from my own mind and suffering.

Being reborn doesn't fix a thing. Maybe for some, but not in my case anyways.

Why am I here?

Why am I back?

I didn't want to be here.

I stared dully at the sheets as the tortuous sentence continued running through my head on a loop. The room was empty and dark, but most of all...too damn big. It made me feel like I was drowning in it.

Stronger than ever before....I had the urge to leave and escape my thoughts however I could.

I had the urge to run.

Feeling like an outsider in my own body, I watched my hand go to my I.V. arm...grabbing the tube before ripping it clean from the skin.

A dull sting radiated from my arm as drops of crimson blood began to pool at the area, but I didn't care...watching the red drip onto the fur white blanket underneath me.

A cold sweat pricked the back of my neck, my eyes felt vacant as the I.V. tube clattered to the floor.

'Run.' My brain echoed over the sound of Touya's-Dabi's words, trying to drown them out however it could.

'Run.'

I'm not supposed to leave the mansion. Even if he didn't outright say that, Midas was pretty clear that he wanted me here.

And, after the conversation we just had...I'd be wise to listen.

But...

"I'm your Touya, Violet."

My teeth ground against each other at the torturous sentence that wouldn't be silenced, reaching my breaking point.

The only way to get that sentence out of my head...is to prove to myself...it's not true.

Kicking off the sheets, I scrambled out of the bed-instantly falling to the floor at how unused and fatigued my legs were.

I didn't even react as my hip crashed into the wood, only taking a moment to catch my breath before scrambling up to my feet.

My senses started to hyper focus intensely as I looked around the room through bloodshot eyes, feeling my head a jumbled mess of impulsive thoughts.

What do I even do? How am I supposed to prove something like this...

The first thought was my phone. Either calling Dabi or going through our text messages could give me more clues to who he really is.

But, the device wasn't anywhere to be seen in my room. I don't know what happened to it after I passed...but, it's definitely not here.

"Damn it..damn it....damn it...." I breathed out, rubbing my temples as I aimlessly paced the room.

Think. Think...

Maybe I just need to see him. To be reminded of his presence and the clear differences that exist between him and Touya.

Where is he, anyways? Dabi? I doubt he's at the mansion. That means...he's probably at....

The idea popped into my head quickly, though it would require more work and risk.

Our hotel room.

I don't have a phone to call a ride. The sun is starting to set. It's getting dark.

But, it's not too far if I walk.

Or run.

With poor planning-and too much faith in my stamina after literally being brought back from the dead, I rushed to the dresser in the corner, ripping off the hospital gown I'd been put in and grabbing a random pair of clothes.

My hair was ratted in tangles. I was thankful no one decided to bathe me while I was asleep, but that also left my skin littered with dried mud and blood, causing me to sloppily scratch grimy bits off my face.

My body ached as I slipped into the sweatpants, arms burning as I wrestled the tank top over my battered frame.

But, I did it quickly-rather, panicked, stumbling into a pair of sneakers before sloppily throwing the door open.

I ended up in the empty hallway, looking around without an ounce of caution to make sure the coast was clear, before briskly making my trek through the mansion.

I didn't know where Midas was and a big part of me was too anxious about Dabi to care, descending the spiral staircase without a single glance of caution.

The good thing about this place is that there's always at least one part of it that's crowded with his workers and admirers. It's usually the lobby. Which is great, considering it's where the exits are.

Jumping off the last stair, I listened for that usual, chipper voice of Midas' as I walked and shoved past people in the lobby, gathering the area was still clear when I heard nothing of the sort.

"I wonder what Master Midas is planning next since this mission failed..." I heard a group of people whisper when I passed by.

"I heard he put Tsuyo through the ringer. They haven't been seen since that day..." Another person gasped, causing me to grimace.

Tsuyo's missing?

Why would they be missing when Midas told me he wasn't upset about what happened?

Does everyone lie to me? About everything?

My repressed hysteria slowly began to chip away at my outer composure, boiling higher in my system when I saw the exit in sight.

A fleeting thought crossed my mind about what Midas might have told the security guards when I approached, not having a single excuse up my sleeve when I walked up to one of the doors.

With a dirty, bloody face that should have everyone questioning things, I looked the guard right in the eyes, silently asking him to let me pass.

It seems fate aligned with me too perfectly. I almost wished to be stopped in my tracks.

But, the guard simply nodded and let me leave, making it all too easy for me to get closer to the truth.

The outside breeze hit my face for the first time since I'd been brought back to life. It was cool and soft, smelling of the flowers in the front yard. The sky was a soft shade of orange, setting beautifully like it was welcoming me back into the world.

And I couldn't focus on any of it.

My body already burned in exhaustion as I walked quickly down the long pathway of the mansion entrance, trying to calm my thoughts and remind myself how incredibly ridiculous I was being.

This is all just a sick, twisted coping mechanism. That's it.

Does Dabi do some things that remind me of Touya? Sure. I already acknowledged that's part of the reason I fell in love with him. Because he reminded me of him...

No one's truly unique though. We all remind someone of another person at one point in our lives. Right?

It's completely illogical-and frankly, impossible for a villain I met by chance ten months ago to also be the dead fiancé I fell in love with.

The odds of that happening aren't even one in a million. He can't be someone who's been off this earth for almost a decade.

I'm losing my mind. That's all this is.

I've been losing it for years. The past ten months just sped up the process. The last month in particular chipped away at all the composure I've been able to manage for a decade.

But, at some point....everyone cracks. Truly cracks.

This moment is just the culmination of a psychotic breakdown that's been on the rise for a long time. Once it passes, I'll see reason and I can go back to my life.

I can go back to seeing Dabi as Dabi, and Touya...as...

"I'm your Touya, Violet-"

I clutched my burning chest as I stumbled out the iron gate to Midas' mansion, ending up in the streets and trying to find my way.

Direction. I need direction.

The hotel is left.

My brain became hazier as I walked quickly towards civilization, mentally running through every possible loophole that would save my sanity.

I wanted to discover something that would let me turn back. Something that would make me go "see? That's how you know it's impossible."

Age. What about their ages...

Dabi's twenty-four. Touya died when he was sixteen. That was eight years ago...

Sixteen...plus...eight....

Okay, so the ages match up. But, that can't mean much. I'm attracted to people who are close to my age range. Sue me.

He's also never told me his real name.

But, what villain would?

Remnants of our last conversation echoed through my head as I turned the corner onto the busy street, briskly walking down the sidewalk.

I'm not referring to our very last conversation where I died. I don't even remember half of it, which is why I'm having this moment of insanity, trying to put the puzzle pieces back together.

I'm talking about our last, real conversation. The one we had in the hallway of Midas' mansion....where I told him I loved him.

"You have no idea who I really am."

"I'm doing this for you."

"Everywhere I go, you always chase me."

In the moment, I didn't read into the words. I thought he was making his typical excuses. I always thought he was pushing me away because he was making excuses. That's what he does.

But, now everything from him sounds rather cryptic, like it contained a hidden message.

Not to mention, he was crying in that moment. Even if he said he didn't love me, he was clearly affected and emotional by the conversation.

So emotional...his hands were smoking. His eyes were wild and crying blood.

....why would he be like that...if he didn't care...

If I could just find one, single difference between the two...I'd feel relieved.

But, the deeper I think about it...the more I realize the similarities, and the more my hysteria rises.

There's no way...

...I missed something....

So big...

Something....

...right in front of my face...

...the entire time....

My brain feels completely scrambled. I didn't know when I'd started running, but judging from the raw cough ripping in my throat, I'm guessing it's been a few minutes.

Eyes on the crowded street watched me in judgement as I shoved people out of the way and ran, no doubt looking at my filthy appearance like I was insane.

The hotel came into my view soon enough, my body screamed in pain as I ascended the stone steps and threw the revolving door open.

I heard the concierge yell in protest as I ran past the desk, making a direct beeline for the stairs.

The elevator was always slow. It would take too long...

I hacked violently as I stumbled up the stairs, gripping the railing tightly and using it to hoist myself up the flights.

My chest stung, yet I pressed on...finally reaching the floor to our room a few moments later.

The hallway was empty as I slowly walked down it, feeling the door of the room getting further away in my vision.

I felt dizzy....my sight doubled. No matter how far I walked, the door kept getting further away, forcing me to fight through my hallucinations and blindly dive forward towards it.

But, as I said. They were only hallucinations. The door had been much closer in my reach than I realized, causing my shoulder to slam into the plaster aggressively from the momentum.

I wheezed as the air left my lungs, melting my body against the door and clawing my fingers into it.

I'm fucking losing it. The longer Dabi...Touya....whoever the hell that man really is infects my head....

The more lost I become.

"D...Dabi..." I uttered through a hoarse voice, pounding on the door frantically as coherency left me. "Open..it...."

Silence came from the other side, throwing me over the damn edge.

Normally, I'd have more patience than this. Normally, I'd be logical...go down to the front desk...ask for a keycard...call him...blah, blah, blah. I don't even know...

But right now, I wasn't anywhere near logic, impulsively forming a sharp crystal spike from my palm before jamming it straight through the keycard slot.

A small electric shock buzzed as I stabbed my spike through the pad repeatedly, mutilating the thing with violence until the little green light went dead.

A 'click' sound was heard as the knob unlocked itself, causing me to drop the crystal spike to the floor without care and throw the door open.

It slammed into the wall harshly from my force, with me standing in the doorway and surveying the area.

Completely dark. No one's here.

I intruded anyways, blatantly flipping on the light switch and walking past the threshold.

My heart hurt as I took in the familiar sight of the place Dabi and I spent so much time in. The only difference is that now all items that used to be on my side of the room were replaced with Akio's things, as he's Dabi's new partner.

That's another thing. I haven't seen my best friend in ages, because he's ignoring my calls. We're so out of touch right now, I bet he doesn't even know I fucking died.

'Best friend.'

Bullshit.

Traitors. Liars. Bastards.

They're all out to get me. I hate all of them.

My face went shadowed with a glare as I walked crookedly through the room, watching my arm come out on instinct and roughly swipe it across Akio's desk reactively.

What the hell are you doing...

Stop. Relax. Rel-

His laptop and the lamp that were sitting atop it went crashing to the ground now, yet that wasn't good enough as I kicked my foot as hard as I could into the computer screen to ensure it shattered.

"Best friend..." I mocked lowly, grabbing his jacket that rested over the desk chair. "Who's best friend are you? Certainly not mine."

Forming a pair of villainous, crystal claws from my fingertips, I ripped through Akio's favorite jacket with ease, holding it in two pieces now before carelessly dropping it to the floor.

I could easily do more. But, that's not why I'm here.

What I came for...was Dabi. Seeing him in the flesh was the initial motive, but he's not here.

I'm desperate. Desperate for relief within my own mind. The only thing I can think to do now...

I stormed over to Dabi's side of the room, fully intent on turning the place upside down.

I'm going to search his things.

Never in my life have I ever been a snooper. I'm a big advocate for privacy and respect-or, at least I always was until now.

But, he's pushed me here. He's pushed me to this limit.

I'll leave nothing untouched. Nothing hidden.

The first thing I went for was the bag he brought with him when we first started this mission. He didn't have many clothes to begin with, but it didn't stop me from flipping the bag upside down on his bed, giving it a rough shake until every item fell from it.

I didn't have an ounce of remorse as my fingers scattered thoroughly through each clothing item.

Shirts. Pants. Underwear. It didn't matter.

Nothing.

I growled in growing anger, ripping the freshly made comforter off his bed, using my crystal claws to rip through the satin sheets.

Maybe he's hiding something in the mattress. He's always been a conniving fucker.

But, feathery fluff from the mattress was the only thing that came up on my hands, causing me to lift the mattress up altogether and shove it off the bed.

My lungs burned from the overexertion as a louder, unhinged yell of frustration tore from my throat.

I stumbled backwards and fell on my knees as I yanked out the drawers of his nighttable-pulling them completely free and emptying the contents on the ground.

Cigarettes. Gum. A single, fucking pen...

Nothing.

...nothing.

What the hell am I doing? This is insane.

I fell backwards against the wall now and slid down it, only realizing I was practically suffocating for air from my loud gasps.

This should be a good thing, right? There's nothing here. Nothing that could expose him. Nothing that could prove he's Touya. That means...he's not.

So...

Why do I only feel more hysterical? Why does a lingering sense of dread settle as a lump in my throat...

I'm scared. I'm so fucking scared.

And I literally have no one I can turn to.

My mouth fell open with whimpering breaths as I grabbed at my own shirt, gasping for air and digging my spine deeper into the wall.

I was shaking. I had no control and the world looked to be quite literally falling around me.

Leaning my head back against the plaster, I could only give up on searching Dabi's things as I didn't think there was anything left.

But...

From this new position...sitting on the ground...

I see something peeking out from under the bed.

My heart stopped. My lungs did, too. My entire body...

Time froze as I slowly reached forward and curled my fingers around the item, realizing it was a handle strap to something.

Pulling it from under the bed, I recognized the item as the pouch that Dabi always wears around his belt. He takes it everywhere. He always has. I've never seen what's inside, but I assumed it was just the villain's equivalent to extra support.

I rested the worn pouch in my lap, studying it for a few moments before slowly unzipping it.

Unlike the other items of Dabi's, I was gentle with this one and I didn't know why. Instead of violently shaking the thing until everything fell out, I slowly reached my hand in.

The first thing I pulled out was a bottle of pain pills. Almost completely empty.

A single cigarette came next.

Next came a little bottle. It was unopened, but also looked homemade by Dabi.

It wasn't labeled, but upon opening it...it smelled like some sort of remover. The little, pointed nozzle on the cap is similar to what one would use to dye their hair.

And...

....that was it.

There's nothing else in here.

But, for some reason...

I couldn't put the pouch down.

Opening the thing wider, I simply stared at it...feeling my mind screaming at me to keep searching.

A few moments later, I knew why.

My eyes narrowed as I studied the inner stitching of the pouch, seeing a certain square of it knitted in a different pattern than the rest.

It was incredibly sloppy. Falling apart. But, still, you wouldn't notice the difference unless you looked for it.

What are you hiding back here, Dabi?

Using my sharpened nails, I carefully plucked the loose threads free, watching the square cloth slowly collapsing before giving way completely.

My mouth fell open slightly at what I saw next.

Instinctively, I scrambled up to my feet in nervous anticipation at the little folded paper I saw tucked away behind the stitching, watching my fingers violently shaking as they pulled the slip free.

Without unfolding it just yet, I simply stared at the thing blankly, debating on if I should really open this or not.

Because...

....I don't want to know.

Trust me.

I really....

...don't.

And, yet...

My fingers slowly unfolded the paper a few moments later, scanning the writing that was scribbled on the page.

...my writing...

To: My Favorite Person In The World
(Touya),

You will always be Number One to me.

- Love Vi -

I was completely frozen as I looked to the note dully, hearing the voice I've been looking for sound directly behind me in the flesh...

"Do you get it now.....Grape?"

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