Shannon's orgasm was so powerful, it almost dragged me over the edge with her. As much as I would have enjoyed it after missing our bond and my glorious goddess over the past couple of weeks, I didn't want to risk losing control of my illusion protecting her. Not here, where there were so many who would see my sensuous soulmate. I'd never intentionally leave her that vulnerable.

Reluctantly, I pulled back from her fascinating mind to dampen my own arousal. These skinsuits were lovely in the way they clung to Shannon's sexy curves and displayed Elatha's well-defined muscles and silky steel cock that filled my hand so perfectly. They were both walking temptations and had kept me achingly hard for hours.

Not that they'd seen with the illusion I kept over my own skinsuit.

I didn't need to advertise how desperately I wanted to fuck them both, to sink into them as the seductive waves of erotic fulfillment washed over us. Dangerous enough that Shannon already suspected the draw Elatha held for me. The pleasure from his submission hummed in my veins even as Shannon's blended with it in an effortless honeyed flow through my body. I reveled in holding her writhing body against me as the waves of climax eased and she recovered her breath.

Just in time, too.

We thanked Elada, and said our goodbyes, following Manannan out into the endlessly dark depths of the Midgardian ocean. As I'd learned before, keeping up with the Sea God required every bit of speed I could squeeze out of my shape-shifted form. Shannon and Elatha seemed to have less difficulty, both gaining energy from the surrounding ocean waters as a natural element for them.

It was a bit galling to admit that I was the weak link in this part of our journey. The fresh burst of energy I'd received from Shannon and Elatha's orgasms over the last couple of hours replenished some of my dwindling energy reserves, but after maintaining the identity-switching illusions on everyone for hours leaving the Summer Realm and now expending more to hold a shark form and swim at top speed, I'd need to recharge as soon as we reached the Atlantean outpost, if not sooner.

Being depleted when the time came to negotiate passage with the Shen would be incredibly foolish. Especially if negotiation failed, and we needed to penetrate their territory by force. We were not taking no for an answer, not with Aidan's life on the line.

Fortunately, I now had two consorts to recharge with and the possibilities were... enticing. Lulled by the repetitive rhythm to our swim through the featureless depths, I indulged in fantasy for the first couple of hours, letting the sensuous glide of the water over my streamlined flesh become my consorts as we played.

But despite the tantalizing ideas I played with, my mind wouldn't stay in that pleasing zone. Darker thoughts kept disrupting my attempts to relax into sinful play.

It was tempting, so very tempting, to give in to the idea that I could have two soulmates. Two individuals that would love and accept all of me. Every dark corner of my soul. Despite my penchant for mischief. Despite my unpredictability. Despite the mistakes that still haunted me.

But I didn't deserve it.

Not after everything I'd done. My own birth parents hadn't even wanted—

I cut off that thought. It did no good to wonder. I'd told Shannon my birth mother and father were dead, a salve to the abandoned boy I'd been. It's true that Frigga's sister, my birth mother, was now dead.

But Revna hadn't been when I'd discovered Frigga and Odin had adopted me.

I never got the chance to ask why she'd given me away or who exactly my father was. Revna died shortly after I found out about her, before I'd worked up the courage to confront her. All she'd told Frigga was that he was Jotun—half fire giant and half frost giant. I had no idea if he was alive or dead, or if he knew about me and also hadn't wanted me.

It wasn't that I didn't value Frigga and Odin's choice to adopt me. I did. I absolutely did, and I'd never make the mistake of not valuing their love and care again, as I had in my initial pain. Frankly, I couldn't ask for better parents. My hope was that I managed to be as good a parent to Aidan, and I tried to follow their excellent example.

But the sting of first rejection never fully heals.

Shannon was a miracle I'd never deserve, but I'd spend the rest of my days earning. After a year and a half together, I constantly feared I'd wake, and she'd be gone, this time permanently. Already, I'd lost her twice. More than once a week, I had nightmares of her capture by the Wild Hunt. She didn't know I woke and sometimes just watched her sleep, reassuring myself she was actually there.

That I'd been blessed with an immortal son, as well as Shannon, it was so much more than I'd dared hope for in my life. How could I possibly be blessed with a second soulmate? Me? When so many never got a soulmate at all?

I'd seen her thoughts, and she was sure that we were all soulmates. Her logic made sense. I knew it did. But she didn't understand my fears.

Before Shannon, I'd never allowed myself to dream I would have a soulmate. It was so rare for the Norns to pair anyone. I certainly didn't expect they would give me one. If you'd told me, I would have assumed it was a practical joke, payback for some mischief I'd caused.

Never would I have believed it.

Not without the undeniable, tangible proof of what she meant to me. And still, without her transition and voice in my head, I'd been hesitant to fully believe. In my own stupidity, I'd lost her with my clumsy introduction to her immortality. That I'd gotten her back was not due to my efforts.

How many times would I be lucky like that?

Were the Norns testing me? Her capture had terrified me. I'd gotten Shannon back a second time, but still might lose my son.

How? How could I believe I would be blessed with a second soulmate? Would my son's life be the cost? Would Shannon's life be the cost?

I'd wondered if the cost of saving my son was sharing Shannon. It had seemed to be the price the Norns demanded when I learned the words of the prophecy.

But that Elatha might be my soulmate as well... at what cost? What would the Norns demand? Would I be able to bear the cost? Or would it break me?

If he wasn't my soulmate, even though he was Shannon's, the rejection would be shattering. It would mean the fears in the darkest part of my soul were right, that I wasn't worthy and there was something unlovable about me. That maybe Shannon being my soulmate was a mistake. A fluke of luck.

Both options scared me.

I wasn't sure which to wish for. If I didn't take the actual step of intercourse with Elatha in either of my forms, I'd never have to find out. Perhaps that was the best option, the only way out of the trap waiting to snap shut and crush me into oblivion.

A fucking no-win scenario.