She was kissing me. She was fucking kissing me, I could feel her lips on mine. This is not the first time we are kissing, I once forcefully kissed her at her home and she gave in for the sake of it. I never noticed how soft her lips was, how good we could kiss. I had my eyes shut tight, feeling her hands cupping my cheeks. My whole body shook and my legs went numb but her struggle to reach my level was evident. She was leaning on me desperately, so I wrapped my hands around her waist and lifted her on her tip toes.

I could feel the passion behind this kiss, I was so weak for it and couldn't protest. Few seconds felt like hours when she pulled back with a deep red flushed cheeks. Hyungs were already gone from there, giving us some kind of privacy. I licked my lips out of habit, getting a clear taste of her chapstick this time...st-strawberry. I felt someone stabbing my heart, blood draining out of my body when I tasted it. Yesterday this time, I was kissing someone else. She kept looking at my shirt, her face close to my chest as I still didn't let go off her waist.

"T-taehyung." She softly whispered.

"S-sorry." I quickly let go off her and moved back, my body wasn't any better.... It was red as well. Fuck!

"I d-didn't m-mean to kiss y..."

"Don't say that." I cut her off knowing what was coming next.

I had no courage to hear it at the moment, I was literally falling for her. I don't know if there is any reason specifically but I am an easy person. That one hug she gave me yesterday was more than enough for me to fall for her, she did understand my heart was a mess. I hugged her quick, hiding my face in the crook of her neck out of shame. How did I do that to her? How could I kiss someone when someone so precious like Grace is with me? I was scared...she might leave me if she knows it.

"W-what happened?" There it is, her tone was full of worry and I couldn't help but turn pale.

"Just dont l-leave me." I mumbled, I don't know if I meant it but I need her to stay.

She didn't speak a word, was I too quick to confess this? Two days ago, I almost raped her and the last day I kissed someone else...now I am confessing. Nothing made sense to me, how unstable can a human be? I have never thought about feelings after Jennie left and I never ever had intention to love Grace. I just needed her to shut my father's act and show to the world that I have someone with me.

Sure she was incompetent when it came to work, she was not that passionate too which made me despise her. But she was thoughtful, empathetic and a good human being which was much more than the previous list. I need someone who can fix me, I needed to be fixed from all the breakings this time. I thought I was healed, I was back on track as I should but the kiss with Jennie says it all. I was still pathetic, I can't imagine going back to her like a lunatic.

"T-taehyung." She called me again, I was hugging her since some time.

"Let's go." I mumbled and pulled away, trying my best to somehow start a good relation with her.

.
.
.

"Do you want to go somewhere?" I asked, while driving back home.

"N-no."

She doesnt have a home to go anymore, I forgot that. She might have a father but I am not letting her be with someone like that, he is a murderer. I was keeping my eyes on the road but I could still feel her stiffening on the seat, eyes desperately looking everywhere. She was cute, she was someone who could calm the tornado in me. I played some lo-fi music and relaxed knowing that she is right next to me.

"C-can we by any chance go to this place." She asked, showing me a location in her phone.

"What is this place?" A small smile might have erupted my lips, she is trying atleast.

"Its a small park. I have been there once when came to Seoul w-with..."

"Your ex boyfriend?" I asked her hesitantly because of the way she was shuffling in the seat.

"I-it was not like that. I w-was only f-fiteen back then."

Right, she is just twenty now. She is a kid to be honest compared to me who is twenty seven. How did I forget the fact that she was too small and fragile? I almost traumatized her with my actions and made her go through hell. I wanted to slap myself over and over again for being so unthoughtful, how am I even an orphic at this point? I wanted to just rewind time so that I can just be good to her for once. I was lost in my thoughts when she tapped my hands consciously, fuck...she is still scared of me?

"To that side." She pointed her hands..when did we even reach?

My thoughts covered the whole of the journey, how funny? I parked the car to the side road and got out, looking at the place she suggested. It was already evening and the sun was setting, a freshening breeze passing by. I saw her walk to that place and followed, mesmerized by the beautiful place. It looks so pretty, even though spring hadn't started. It was not too cold, Seoul gets drastic climatic changes at times and today evening was a perfect one. It was like I was blessed.

"He c-cheated on me." She spoke as we sat down on the bench, no one was at the park.

"Uhh?" I asked looking at her in confusion.

"We were friends, he was someone who listened to me when I had no one. I was not matured enough to understand the feelings but I did l-like him."

"He told me that was love and I believed. I started loving him, loving him so hard that everthing was only about him. He l-left me one day, never came back. L-lisa told me that he married s-someone. He was older than me, I was insecure about it. But he p-promised to wait for me." I could see her eyes struggling to hold back the tears.

"I was small, he left me because of t-that. I c-couldnt do what he dema-demanded. I c-couldn't sleep with him and he told me, I d-didnt trust him. I w-was only fifteen."

"What a bastard." I couldn't control at all.

She was just fifteen, a teenager, a school student and he wanted her to sleep with him. Was that called love? He told her what she felt was love and  then left her just like that? Whoever that bastard is, the moment I get him in my hand...he is gonna scream till death. My hands fisted tightly as I looked at her again, she didn't deserve that. No one deserves that.

"H-he broke me b-but I am happy that he left. He didn't bother me at all...I felt useless those days. Didn't I deserve an explanation atleast?" She asked, looking at me finally and what do I answer?

"Sometimes, explanations hurt more." I answered, that was what which came to my mind.

"Have you ever been hurt?"

"N-not really." It was a wrong time to spill out my life, this is about her..not me.

"I wouldn't hurt you, you know?"

I was so close to losing my sanity at her words. She was just making me drown in guilt with such simple words, only if I could speak up. I just got on my knees in front of her, holding her both hands in mine. She looked at me with her sparkling eyes and fuck, why didn't I see it till now? I was a monster, cutting out all the emotions.

"I would be trusting that, Grace." I said looking into her eyes, am I being romantic?

My words were just misplaced at this point, I don't even know what I was speaking. I was gonna scare her off for sure and get rejected even before being sure of my own feelings. I needed to take time and know my own self first but at the same time, its unsafe for her to be with me. What if Jennie? Mark and Kris? I have gained a bunch of enemies who can come for my throat and engaging a girl in my life so publically is gonna be bad.

"T-taehyung, you dont hate me?" She asked, my name coming out of her mouth sounded so good.

"I hate myself." I muttered under my breath and shook my head to her.

"That is a relief." She chuckled, still not pushing my hands which were holding hers.

"You think you can fall for me in these days?" I asked genuinely curious, there isn't much time and I have to try harder.

"I will try." She assuringly smile... "But you will have to get me icecream everyday."

"Uhh?" I stared at her in confusion...omg, she is the death of me for sure.

How did everything change so fast? I can't believe that I threatened her witj a gun two nights ago and now we are trying to fall in love with each other. Life is really a joke at times.

"Enjoy as much as you want, Mr. Kim Taehyung." Someone was gritting their teeth watching the duo, being all giggly and cosy.

"This won't last." The said person cursed before leaving.

------------------------------------------------------

I have slightly changed the way of my writing. Hope this one is better and interesting.💜