{TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains suicidal thoughts, talks about mental illness, mentions of depression and eating disorders, and may contain any other triggering factors. Please, if you are uncomfortable with any of the above, you don't have to read this chapter.}

Again, don't read this chapter if you feel uncomfortable reading about what is all mentioned above.

No One's POV

"Emily, you skipped last weeks sessions, what's going on?" The woman in a blue long pencil skirt and a tan colored flowy button up shirt asks the young teenager, who was laying across from her. 

Emily sighs, knowing she has to talk, sooner or later. "I'm just having a rough few weeks." Emily answers the woman. Emily looks around the room, trying to find something to take her mind off the rest of the week.

"Why don't we talk about the beginning of the week before last week, first." The woman suggests. Emily nods, sighing. 

"We were filling out forms, well questionnaires, about our favorite things and who we truly were. And it hit me. I'm alone." Emily says.

The woman looks at her confused slightly. "Alone? How?" She asks.

Emily takes a sip of her water before continuing. "I'm alone because, because-" Emily sighs. "I don't know. I'm surrounded by my friends but, for some reason I feel so alone. Like- like someone or something is out to get me."

"Who or what, do you think that is?" 

"Myself." Emily answers.

~~~~

Flashback One - Four Months Ago (Middle of July)

No One's POV

"Hey, Em. I'm worried, call me back." Farkle says into his phone as he sat at Topanga's. He had been sitting there for over an hour waiting for Emily to show up. It was their 'date' night, and she was almost 2 hours late.

A frantic Emily rushed inside and towards the boy. "I'm so sorry!" She exclaims. "The train it like  broke down and they weren't letting us off until the fixed it and I'm so sorry I'm late." Emily explains to them.

Farkle nods. "It's okay." He tells her but she shakes her head.

"I'm 2 hours late, I should have took a cab or had Shawn drive me. He's in town to see Katy." Emily says to him. "I'm sorry."

Farkle shakes his head. "It's okay, it's not your fault." He tells her. She sighs but nods. 

"So dinner?" Emily asks as her phone beeps. She sighs, looking at it. Her breathing hitched, as she starred at the phone.

Farkle looks at her, worried. "Em?" She doesn't reply. "Em? You okay?" Her attention snaps back up to him.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm okay." She says, giving him a forced smile before putting her phone on silent and putting it in her pocket. "So dinner?" She asks him.

He nods. "Yeah." She looks down at the table, taking a sip if the drink Farkle had gotten her. He looks at Emily, confused and worried but he doesn't say anything.

------

Emily had gotten home a few hours after hanging out with Farkle. She sat on her bed, her knees pulled to her chest as her head rested on them. She was scrolling through her phone, tiredly.

A knock suddenly pulls her out of the trance from her phone. She looks up as she hears Katy's voice on the other side of the door. "Emily?"

"Come in." Emily says, sitting up, leaning against the wall as she tossed her phone onto the pillow next to her. Katy walks in.

"Hey sweetie." Katy says. Emily smiles at her. "I wanted to let you know I was going out with Shawn. Maya's at Riley's house."

"Okay." Emily says to her, giving her a fake smile.

Katy notices the fake smile. "You okay Em? I can stay home tonight if you want me too."

Emily shakes her head. "No, I'm fine. Just tired."

"Well get some sleep. I'll see you when I get home or in the morning when you wake up." Katy tells her.

Emily smiles and nods. "Okay. Goodnight."

"Goodnight sweetie." Katy says, closing the bedroom door.

Emily sighs, not wanting to cry. She was having a hard time lately, holding everything together. Her depression, the guilt of everything her dad did to her. There were days where all she thought about was that she did something wrong. She knows she did. Why else would he have done everything he did.

Everything just felt to much for her. It was to crazy for her, and she didn't know how to handle everything. She was scares that one day, it would all just consume her. The pain, anger, sadness. She was scared that one day she was gonna give in and end it all.

There were days where she wished she could. But she knows that it would crush her family; Katy, Maya, Farkle. Hell, she even knew it would crush her birth mother.

She didn't want to hurt them, no matter how much she was suffering.

------

End Of Flashback - Present Day

No One's POV

"Have you talked to Katy or Farkle like we lasted talked about?" The woman asked Emily, as Emily has her knees against her chest, her head resting on them.

She looks at the woman, a cold sadness in her eyes. "No." She answers. "What's the point when they don't understand?" She asks the woman.

The woman sighs. "Don't you want them to understand?" Emily shrugs as she looks down at the table. "You need to make them understand."

"Why?" Emily mutters.

"Because they love you and want to help you." The woman replies. "Have you talked about that day with them?"

Emily shakes her head. "Not really. It comes up sometimes with Farkle. But we don't really talk about it."

"You need to, you need to get it off your chest." She tells Emily. "Why don't we talk about it?"

Emily sighs but does so anyway.

~~~~

Flashback Two - Three Months Ago

No One's POV

Emily sat there as she watched her friends all talking. She was more observing than participating in the conversation. They all looked happy, content. She wanted to feel like that; happy and content with her life but for some reason, it felt like she couldn't do that. That the world was weighing down on her and she couldn't breathe. 

"So Em, are you in?" Riley asks her, causing Emily to bring her attention back to the group. She looks at Riley, and nods, not really knowing what they were talking about, but she still agreed.

"Yeah. I'm in." Emily says, faking a smile as her phone went off. She sighs, looking down at the text. "I- I gotta go." Emily says, standing up and grabbing her drink and walking out of Topanga's. The others watched as she left, confused and worried.

"Is she okay?" Maya asks the group.

The group all looks at each other, not knowing how to answer, not knowing if she was okay.

~~~~

skip over this next part if you are uncomfortable with everything I talked about above, this is where a lot of those topics are. So like I said, please skip over this if it makes you uncomfortable or if you could be easily triggered by anything I put up in the author's not at the beginning of the chapter.

~~~~

Emily sat in her room, green and black marker stains all on her hands, as she looked around the room. The bedroom walls were covered in green and black words, all written different ways, big and small words plastered everywhere.

Selfish

Ugly

Coward

Broken

Stupid

And many more words plastered all over, everywhere she looked. Her phone buzzed once again, causing her to look down.

Just kill yourself already. -x

Emily grabbed the red marker that has been untouched until now. She walks over to the door, writing on it. She writes two words on the white door, in big letters.

Kill yourself

She stares at the words, tears threatening to fall down her face. She sighs, walking over to her bed, grabbing out a piece of paper, beginning to write as the tears fell down her face. As the voices in her head told her to continue, to do it.

My story was short lived. It was a terrible story anyways. My story was nothing but a sad, broken girl that couldn't do anything right. My story was a terrible one. It had no happy endings, no matter what. No happy endings, no prince to save me. No one, no one but cold, dark dark voices the plagued my mind. All the heartbreaking words, all of the harsh thoughts, all of the darkness that would never let me go. It would always be there, never ending, never leaving.

I don't want that anymore. I don't want to feel alone anymore. I don't want to feel anymore. I want the darkness to lose but it won't. It's wining. It's already won. It's taken it's prize, and for that I won't feel it anymore, I won't feel anything anymore. I won't be anyone anymore. I'll be gone. Lost forever in the darkness that my mind has created. The end of this story isn't long anymore. I can see it coming. The bright light at the end of the tunnel isn't for me. I have to stay in the darkness. The darkness that my mind created. That those words created. Forever lost. But at least, I wouldn't feel anything anymore. I won't be around to feel anything. I'll be gone. I'll be free. I'll be dead. And I'll finally be able to breathe.

This is my goodbye letter I guess. It's something like that. I don't know what this is but goodbye. And maybe one day we'll meet again and I'll be happy. I'll be able to breathe. I'll be free from everything. Everyone. Maybe I won't be that broken girl everyone hates. Maybe I won't hate myself. Maybe I'll be content with everything around me. I'll be happy because that's all I have ever wanted. I can't get that here, I can't be happy here so maybe I can be after this. Maybe after everything, if we ever meet, I'll be okay. I'll be alive again. But not now. Not in this life. I'm sorry but I need to do this. I need to be free. Goodbye.

-Emily Daniels.

Emily stood and put the letter on her desk, wiping a few tears away from her face. She grabs her phone, typing in one word and sending it. 

Goodbye.

She powers down her phone, walking towards the bed and sitting in front of it as tears fell down her face. 

Goodbye.

~~~

~~~

Farkle sat on a park bench, waiting for Emily to meet him. They had made plans the other day to go to the park that night and watch the stars. She seemed happy. Seemed.

Farkle's phone buzzed in his pocket. He sighs, pulling it out, hoping it was Emily, telling him she was on her way. He opens the text, only seeing one word, confused.

Goodbye.

He looks at the text, confused. He hits the call button, putting the phone up to his ear as it doesn't ring but goes straight to voicemail. He tries again, and again but gets the same results. He dials another phone number, calling it as he rushes down the sidewalk, taking the all familiar route to Emily's apartment.

~~~

Farkle lifts up the window, looking inside the room, noticing all of the green and black words. He looks around the room until he notices Emily, laying on the ground, pale as blood seeped out of her wrists and an empty pill bottle laid beside her.

He quickly rushes over to her, trying to stop the bleeding with his hands. "Katy! Maya!" He yells, trying to get the attention of the two other women in the house. He takes off his jacket, trying to wrap it around Emily's wrist to stop the bleeding as tears fell down his face. "Katy!" He yells again. 

The door bursts open, making Lucas, Maya and Katy rush inside. "Oh my god." Katy says, rushing over to her adoptive daughter and her boyfriend. "Maya call 911. Lucas, come here and help stop the bleeding." Katy says to the two. Lucas rushes over to Emily, tears of his own welling in his eyes. 

"C'mon Em." He whispers, wrapping his own jacket around her wrists. "C'mon Em." He whispers again.

"Come on babygirl." Katy mutters to her daughter, trying to help the two boys. She looks back at Maya, who stood there with a scared expression, worried. "Maya!" Maya snaps out of her daze, looking at her mother. "911." Maya nods, pulling out her phone quickly.

A familiar voice rang through the apartment. "Katy?" Shawn calls out, looking for the woman.

"Shawn! Get in here!" Katy yells back, causing him to rush into the room after realizing that's where they were.

"Oh my-" Shawn says, rushing to them. "Have you called 911?"

"Maya did." Katy says.

"They should be here soon." Maya says.

Shawn shakes his head. "Soon isn't quick enough. She needs to get to the hospital now!" Shawn says. "Lucas, pick her up, keep the jackets on her wrists. We're taking her to the hospital."

Lucas picks up the blonde off the ground, carrying her bridal style. "Farkle, grab the bottle." He says to his best friend, not even looking up from Emily's face. 

The three men rush out of the room, Maya and Katy following them. They get down to the street where Shawn parked his truck. "Lucas, sit with her in the bed. Maya, Farkle sit up here with me. Katy, stay with Lucas and Em." The four do what Shawn said, sitting where they were told. Shawn, Maya and Farkle in the front of the truck; Katy, Lucas and Emily in the bed.

~~~

Lucas sat in a chair in the waiting room, along with Farkle, Maya and Katy. Shawn was sitting next to Maya as she cried. Katy paced the room, anxious about how her daughter was doing. Lucas sat, starring at his hands, the blood of the Daniels girl on him. 

"I should have known." He mutters to himself, upset he couldn't stop her. Angry with himself because he didn't notice she was hurting this bad.

Riley, along with her family, rushes into the waiting room. She rushes over to Maya, hugging her. "Is she okay?" Riley asks her. "What happened?"

Maya shrugs, shaking her head. "I- I don't know. She downed almost a whole bottle of pills and she- she cut her wrists." Austin and Smackle rushed into the room, together. Austin walks up to Farkle and the two girls, Smackle following behind her. 

Zay soon walks in, going straight over to Lucas. "Hey man. I just got your text. Is Em okay?" He asks the Friar boy.

Lucas shakes his head. "No, she hasn't been for a long time. I- I should have known."

"None of us knew man. She'll be okay." Zay says, noticing the blood on Lucas' hands. "Go wash up man. I'll come get you if anything happens." Lucas nods, walking away down the hall.

Farkle stood next to the girls and Austin, unable to really pay attention to their conversation, heartbroken that his girlfriend could possibly die here. He was heartbroken that the first person other than his parents, that he's truly loved, could die.

"Emily Daniels?" The name spoken caused everyone to look over at a doctor standing at the door of the waiting room. Shawn and Katy rush up. 

"I'm her mother." Katy says to the man.

The doctor nods, looking at Shawn. "Is he family?"

Katy struggles about what to say next and as she was about to speak, Shawn spoke. "I'm Emily's father." He replies.

"Okay, may I speak to the two of you? Alone?" He asks Shawn and Katy. Katy nods and the three of them leave, down the hall. "She's not awake yet but she is stable. We lost her for a few moments but we got her back. She took almost 15 pain pills as well as slit her wrists, do you guys know why she would have done that?" Katy sighs, shaking her head, not truly knowing why the girl would do that.

"Her biological father used to hit her but he's been in jail for almost a year and a half." Shawn replies, holding Katy in his arms as they talked to the doctor.

A voice spoke up behind them. "I think she was being bullied, again." The three turn and see Lucas standing there. "She's been acting off these past few weeks, I guess none of us really noticed this time."

The doctor nods, understandingly like. "Well, since Emily did try to kill herself, we need to keep her here under surveillance for 72 hours and then you might want to think about putting Emily in a program that can help her. I think she's gonna need it."

Katy nods. "Can we see her?" She asks the man.

The doctor nods. "Yes, but only the two of you for right now." The doctor looks at Lucas. "You can see your girlfriend when she wakes up, but for right now only her parents can see her." Lucas barely nods, not even trying to correct the man. Lucas stands there as the doctor shows Katy and Shawn to Emily's room.

Lucas walks out back to the waiting room. Maya and Riley sat next to each other, leaning on each other. Austin and Smackle sat together, Smackle was actually crying, upset. Topanga sat with Cory and Auggie. And Zay sat by himself, his head in his hands. Lucas walks over to him, sitting next to the boy, speaking. "She's stable. Katy and Shawn are in there right now."

Farkle walks back into the room as Lucas said that, hearing him. "She's okay?" Farkle asks him, causing everyone to look at the two. Lucas nods. Farkle sighs in relief. "Are they gonna let us see her?"

"Not yet. Not until she wakes up. Katy and Shawn are with her but no one else is aloud in there yet." Lucas explains to him. Farkle nods, sitting next to him.

"Thank you for rushing over there when I called you." Farkle says to him.

Lucas nods. "I'd do it for any of you." He says. Lucas looks down at his hands, sighing. "It's Em." He whispers, no one hearing him. I'll always help her. He thinks to himself.

~~~

End of Flashback - Present Day

No One's POV

Emily sat in the chair, playing with her fingers. "I'm happy they got there in time." Emily says to the woman.

"That's good." The woman says to her. "Do you regret what you did?"

"Honestly?" Emily asks. "I'm not sure. Sometimes I do, sometimes I wish I never sent Farkle that text."

The woman nods. "I understand." She says to Emily. "Your mother, Katy told me that your aunt showed up. Your biological father's sister."

Emily nods. "Yeah. She showed up the other night, out of no where."

"What'd you do? When you answered the door?" She asks.

"I slammed it in her face." Emily answers.

~~~

Flashback ~ Day's Ago

No One's POV

Emily sat on the couch in the apartment, on her phone. It was late, around ten o'clock when Maya walked through the door.

"Hey Emily." She says. Emily doesn't reply as she walks into the kitchen. "Are you still not talking to me?" Maya asks the other blonde. "Okay, you are talking to Riley again, why not me?"

"I'm not talking to Riley either. I helped her with some Spanish. But that's it." Emily tells her, still texting on her phone.

Maya sighs, walking back into the living room. "Come on Emily. I've apologized. So has Riley."

"But have either of you meant it?" Emily asks her. "Neither of you had faith in me when I wanted to try something new. God forbid if I'm not aloud to venture out on my own for a while. I can't make new friends. I can't leave the house unless you, Riley or Farkle are with me. I wanted to do something for me. So I can be happy. I'm rarely ever truly happy and the thought of joining those clubs and the journalism class, so I can improve in my writing. I was happy thinking I could do it. And then Riley said I wouldn't be able to do it. She said I would get crushed by them." Emily explains to her, upset. "And that's not even the worst part. The worst part is you stood there and watched her say that to me. You watched and said nothing. And you only said sorry, when I called you out on it in the hall that week." She tells Maya, running a hand through her hair. "I don't want to be a failure. I want to be able to do my best these next four years. I want to be happy."

"Emily-" Maya starts but stops once Katy walks in the front door.

She smiles at the two girls. "Hey girls." She says to them. Emily smiles at her, lightly. "Everything okay?" Katy asks the two of them, looking back and forth between them.

"Yeah. We're fine."Emily says to her. Katy nods and walks into the kitchen, putting down her purse and the mail she had in her hands.

"Emily, I got a call from your Therapist today. She said you missed this weeks session. Why didn't you tell me?" She asks the youngest blonde in the room.

Emily sighs, answering. "I guess I've just been really busy this week. I'm sorry. I won't miss Friday's."

"Okay babygirl." Katy says to Emily, smiling. She looks at Maya then Emily. "You sure everything is alright."

"Everything's fine, Mom." Maya says to Katy. Katy nods before walking into the kitchen again, going through the mail.

There was a sudden knock on the door. Emily looks at Maya before walking over to the door, opening it. 

There was a woman, shortish brown hair, tall, pretty. "Hi, does Emily Daniels live here?" She asks Emily.

Emily nods. "You're looking at her. Who are you?" She asks the woman.

"Em, who's at the door?" Katy asks as she walks closer up behind me.

The woman smiles lightly. "I'm Rebecca Daniels. Emily's aunt."

Emily's eyes widen, confused and shocked, as she stood there looking at her. Emily then slams the front door on her face.

Katy walks into the room, looking at Emily. "Who was that?"

Emily turns to look at her, still shocked. "That was my aunt, Rebecca. She dad's sister." Emily replies.

~~~~

End Of Flashback - Present Day

No One's POV

"How'd you feel? When she showed up there?" The woman asked Emily.

Emily shrugs. "Pissed off. I haven't seen the woman since I was like 6 and then she just randomly shows up out of nowhere."

The woman nods. "Has she tried to reach out anymore?"

Emily shakes her head. "Not really. I know her daughter is starting school with us next week." 

"Are you gonna try and befriend her?" She asks Emily.

"Probably." Emily answers honestly. "She didn't do anything wrong."

The woman nods once again. "No, she didn't." She says. A bell goes off, causing Emily to look up. "Are you going to show up Tuesday?" She asks Emily.

"Yes, I promise I'll be here." Emily says to her. 

"I'll see you Tuesday." The woman says.

Emily smiles, nodding before she leaves the room.

~~~~

I don't like how I ended this chapter. But honestly idk how else to add anything to this. This was a really hard chapter to write. I am gonna try and update again soon but it took me so long to write this so idk yet. How did you guys feel about this chapter? The flashbacks were the hardest to write for me so hopefully this chapter is good. Please let me know what you think. Please, please comment. Thanks for reading. Bye.

-Kelly.

NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE

Call 1-800-273-8255

Available 24 hours everyday

There are also many chats online and people wanting to help. You're not alone. I promise.