As Rowanpaw slowly made his way back to camp, his chest began to hurt where the fox had kicked him. There was a light trail of blood from three scratches from the creature's claws that had barely pierced his skin, but the powerful force of the blow left it hard for him to breathe the longer he walked.

It got harder and harder to walk because of the suckling mud that pulled at his fur. The rain had thickened it, making it harder to cross the murky territory. After sharp pains crossed his chest, he finally decided to take a break and crawled up onto a log with old, peeling bark that fell away under his claws.

As he rested, trying to catch his breath, he decided the fox had probably bruised his chest bones, which was why he was having trouble breathing. His legs also hurt from the long journey out of the territory and carrying the two kits back. He slowly licked the blood away from his chest, though stopped when it made him out of breath.

He waited until his chest started to feel better, but when he slid off the log and onto the mushy ground it began to burn again. Ignoring it, he continued on. He slowly got closer and closer to camp, his paws covered in wet mud that filled his claws. His ears perked and twitched as pawsteps came to his senses. He turned his head and saw a few of his Clanmates picking their way through the territory. Noticing him, they headed over, looking worried. The lead cat was Duskfang, while Leafpelt hurried behind him, and Carppaw right behind his she-cat mentor. Leafpelt held a small mouse in her jaws, holding it loosely in her teeth.

"Ratpaw? Are you okay?" It was Carppaw who spoke, looking curious. Rowanpaw eyed himself, noticing his ruffled, bloody fur and soaked chest. 

"Birchsplash and I ran into a fox..." He didn't want to say too much, in case his story didn't line up with the black and white tom's.

"Great StarClan!" Leafpelt murmured through the prey, looking scared. Her eyes were wide and she flicked her gaze around like she expected the fox to leap out and attack at any moment.

"Is he okay?" Duskfang asked, "where is he?"

Leafpelt looked even more scared for a moment, and Carppaw looked terrified. They probably thought Birchsplash had been either greatly injured or killed during the attack.

"He's okay," Rowanpaw hurried to reassure his Clanmates, and they all looked relieved. "He was more injured than me, so he went ahead to camp while I stayed behind."

"Why'd you stay behind?" Carppaw asked. Rowanpaw tried to quickly think of something that Birchsplash would've likely said, to keep their stories similar, but it was unneeded.

"Rowanpaw can answer questions later, let's first get him to camp and have Sandflight check him out. I'm sure he's tired," Duskfang meowed with an understanding glance at the apprentice. Despite his normal harsh attitude, he was often nicer to younger cats--more patience for them, Rowanpaw guessed. He was almost surprised the tom didn't have kits, but then again there weren't many cats in the Clan. The only available she-cat to have kits was Juniperfur, and the two cats had never really seen eye-to-eye.

Rowanpaw felt bad for the tom but stayed silent about his thoughts. Whether Duskfang got a mate or not was his decision, and the apprentice had nothing to say in it. Clearing his mind, Rowanpaw fell in step with the other cats, walking close to Carppaw. His chest began to burn again, and the bigger apprentice pressed against him, letting Rowanpaw use his friend's shoulder to help himself walk.

"Thanks," he muttered quietly, his pride injured. But he still accepted help when he knew he needed it. It wasn't far to camp, and soon the warriors were leaping up the rocks, claws scraping against stone.

"Need help?" Carppaw asked, stepping away. Rowanpaw shook his head, gesturing for Carppaw to go first. "I'll go after," he said. Rowanpaw knew the other apprentice wanted to make sure he didn't fall and tried to be grateful to the fact, but it was hard, wondering if Carppaw thought he was too weak. Sighing, Rowanpaw pushed off from the mushy ground, gasping for breath as he landed on the first rock. He stood there, head down as he panted for a moment. "Are you okay, Ratpaw?" Carppaw called. Nodding, Rowanpaw forced himself to go the rest of the way up, groaning as his chest closed on itself.

Finally, he pulled himself over the edge and stood on solid ground. The clearing was full of cats, and as he stumbled down the rock the warriors crowded around him. "Birchsplash said you two fought a fox off the territory!" Frondpaw mewed excitedly, shoving through the small crowd. Cats grumbled in complaint but still looked expectantly at Rowanpaw for his answer.

Rowanpaw began to answer hesitantly, but then a small brown shape slipped through the legs of Bloomcloud. "Birchsplash said you killed it!" she squealed. "And you tried to find more, did you, did you? Did you kill a second one?"

"Uh, no..." Rowanpaw felt strong relief for his little sister, having her tell him more of the story Birchsplash had made up. "I didn't find anymore, but we did kill that one on the territory." So the Clan doesn't know we willing left the territory.

"I'm glad you're safe," a strong voice said from the back of the crowd, and the cats parted to let Dawnstar go through. She nodded her thanks to her warriors before stopping before the apprentice. Anxiety went through him at his leader's proud gaze. "Not many cats have killed foxes, and even fewer to get away unwounded."

"I hurt my chest," Rowanpaw murmured softly, wondering if the tightness in his breath was from the injury or the praise from Dawnstar. A few warriors murmured about his bravery.

"Maybe Ratclaw for a warrior name," Brackenfoot suggested quietly to Brownear, who shrugged.

"Perhaps Ratfang? Birchsplash said Ratpaw killed the fox with a bite to its scruff, and that must take some strength." Leafpelt, who had padded over to her mate, nodded her agreement.

Dawnstar let out a snort, watching the warriors. They soon noticed their leader's stare and quieted themselves. Rowanpaw still felt fear rushing him. Why were they thinking about warrior names? He was barely two moons into his apprenticeship! He likely had four moons of training left, according to Hazelfur. And what if he did get one of those names? He liked both ending parts, but not the first. He couldn't be a respectable warrior with a name that started with 'Rat'.

Or respectable leader, he thought with small excitement. He couldn't help to enjoy the thought, like many other apprentices, of becoming the leader of his Clan one day. Can I lead a Clan in a territory I hate? He was disturbed by the thought and decided to focus on Dawnstar, who had turned back to him.

"Ignore the warriors, for I will be picking your name. I believe I already have one in mind, in fact." Her tail flicked absent-mindedly. "But nevermind that. Go see Sandflight, so she can help you with your chest."

Dipping his head deeply, Rowanpaw slipped through the warriors and headed along the side of the camp wall to the small medicine cat's den across from the apprentices' den and near the camp entrance. Entering the den, a weak smell of herb filled his scent glands. Birchsplash lay in a nest, cobwebs plastered on his wounds. He looked over as Rowanpaw entered. Excitement filled his gaze, and he looked anxiously to where Sandflight was searching for herbs in her meager storage. Birchsplash obviously wanted to ask about the kits, but not in front of the medicine cat.

"Ratpaw, good, you're back!" Sandflight meowed, turning around. She set down the herbs in her claws and padded over to a nest made of dry bracken. "Come lay down. I don't know why you decided it would be a good idea to wait around for more foxes to arrive. You're lucky none did, or we would be welcoming you to StarClan right now! Apprentices these days!" Rowanpaw ignored the she-cat's grumbles and lay down feeling the uncomfortable nest crackle under him, jabbing into his side. "Sorry, I used my best bedding for Birchsplash. You'll have to do for the reject stuff until I can get better nest materials."

"Maybe the other apprentices and I could find some stuff for you," Rowanpaw offered, feeling bad for the she-cat. She was probably pretty stressed after the kitting today. "How is Rainsong doing?"

Sandflight's mood seemed to deflate, and she looked down in sadness. "Badly. She's depressed after losing two kits, but Flintkit seems strong. I gave her and Ashbreeze the last of my borage so their milk will come easier. Ashbreeze's kits are ready to give up milk, but it seems it's easier to feed them that then prey when we have so little. It's taking a lot of Ashbreeze's strength, though. And I gave Rainsong some so that Flintkit would be as strong as possible." Sandflight seemed relieved to clear her chest.

"Is Fernkit helping at all?" Rowanpaw wondered if his sister, who often came into the den, was useful to have around for the older medicine cat.

"Definitely," Sandflight replied with a sigh. "She's been helping me by going through my herbs and helping with minor injuries. She already knows the simpler herbs and is extremely excited to learn. About two and a half moons until she can be officially apprenticed, then I can take her to the Moonstream to see if StarClan will accept her."

"You think StarClan won't?" Rowanpaw asked as the she-cat began to look at his chest, eying the blood that continued to softly leak from the wound.

"Perhaps, since she's half-rogue, half-traitor," a soft growl escaped Sandflight's throat, but she quickly swallowed it. "Aspenheart is a complete loner in the Clan, no cat will talk to her except the cats she brought with her. Even Leafpelt, who used to be her best friend, won't talk to her. When was the last time you saw her on a patrol?"

"I try not to pay attention to her," Rowanpaw meowed in response, then added softly, "so far, I don't think she's gone on any patrol. Clovertail has yet to call her name in the morning for hunting or patrolling the border. She rises early and hunts all day, but has barely anything to show for it when she returns at sundown. I don't know why Dawnstar even let her join the Clan again."

"I agree, but we got some good cats from her. I don't like to admit it, but Hawktail is a good hunter and has proved himself a good fighter in practice sessions. He has helped our Clan since he arrived."

"He may be helpful, but she is not. Aspenheart has done nothing to help our Clan!" A growl escaped him.

"Will you stop?" Birchsplash snarled from his nest, and Sandflight and Rowanpaw turned to face him, surprised. It seemed that both of them had forgotten Birchsplash was there. "You two may not care about Aspenheart, but I do. She was my mentor and my friend. She still is. Don't forget she gave you life, Ratpaw. Without her, you wouldn't exist. She regrets leaving her Clan, but if she hadn't we would've never gotten Fernkit, Meadowkit, and Primkit. We would've have gotten any of the Twolegplace cats, in fact."

"That doesn't mean I have to like her!" Rowanpaw hissed. He had gained trust and respect for Birchsplash throughout the day, after fighting the fox and saving the kits with him, but the tom still believed Aspenheart was a good cat, and it infuriated him. Why did he still protect her? He thought of Emberheart for a moment and Hazelfur. Both had been his mentors, and he cared for them both deeply. Even if Birchsplash had the same connection, how could he trust a cat who willing left their Clan with no good reason?

Is my reason good enough? he asked himself. All the Twolegplace cats, along with Birchsplash, Emberheart, and Hazelfur knew he would leave the Clan if he was unable to receive the new name he wanted. Perhaps it was kittish to leave his home because of his personal thoughts, but he wouldn't, couldn't, live with "Rat" as his name. It would hang over him for the rest of his life. He would rather be called Rowan as a rogue than Rat as a warrior. Whether it was Ratclaw or Ratfang or Ratstar, he would never take the name. He wanted Rowanclaw or Rowanfang... Or Rowanstar...

"Give her a chance, Ro--" Birchsplash stopped himself with a small cough, then restarted. "Give her a chance, Ratpaw. She's your mother, after all," the tom pleaded softly.

"She's never been my mother!" Rowanpaw hissed, fur fluffing.

"Enough!" Sandflight snapped. "You two can fight later, I'm done talking about this."

Rowanpaw snorted coldly, curling his claws into the dry, hard nest. In his anger, his breath got faster, and his chest began to close up again. Losing breath, he coughed to try to clear his throat, but it just made it worse, and he wheezed, dropping his head. Quickly, Sandflight touched a paw to his chest, and he flinched away, pain flooding him at the point she touched.

"Must be bruised," she muttered, flicking her tail. Rowanpaw nodded softly, having guessed as much. Sandflight went over to her storage and brought back some leaves and round yellow flowers. She dropped the flowers in front of him and meowed around the leaves in her jaws, "chew and swallow them. Don't whine about the taste or I'll hit you over the ear." She began to chew the leaves up.

Rowanpaw licked the flowers from the stone floor and began to chew, but as the flavor leaked into his throat he found it was sharp and heavy. He couldn't help but gag, and, true to her word, Sandflight sent a swift paw over his head, giving him a small ring for a moment. He shook it away and forced himself to swallow the herbs she had given him.

As the moments past by of Sandflight chewing silently, Rowanpaw felt his chest loosen, and he breathed a sigh of relief. Sandflight spat the pulp she was chewing on her paw and began to rub it into the wound on his chest. It stung slightly, but soon it soothed the small burning he hadn't realized he had. "I'm going to report to Dawnstar real quick, don't fight or no more wounds will be treated for the next three moons for you two!" The medicine cat got to her paws and hurried from the den.

Rowanpaw looked at his mud-stained paws, still angered at Birchsplash for his words. The tom knew Rowanpaw would never forgive Aspenheart, so why was he still pushing?

"I'm sorry."

Rowanpaw was surprised by the black and white tom's words, and looked over silently, eyes wide as he waited for the tom to continue. Birchsplash looked embarrassed for a moment, then forced himself to say, "I know you wo--can't trust Aspenheart again. I'm sorry for fighting with you." He was silent for a few heartbeats, then added, "what happened to the kits?"

"An EchoClan patrol found them," Rowanpaw muttered in reply. "A warrior and two apprentices. I think one of them was the medicine cat apprentice." He remembered the small black tom from the Gathering. "They treated him like a medicine cat, either way. They took the kits with them." He hadn't been able to hear the cats' conversation very well, for they spoke quietly and quickly to not alarm the kits. "They'll be well taken care of, I'm sure of it."

"I'm sure of it, too," Birchsplash agreed, nodding his head. The cats fell into a comfortable silence, their earlier argument forgotten--mostly, anyway. Rowanpaw was still a little upset and knew Birchsplash would have to gain back the respect and trust he had lost. And that would take more than a simple apology.

Then, pawsteps sounded at the den entrance, and a light ginger head popped in, yellow eyes scanning the den.

"Emberheart!" Rowanpaw mewled in excitement, flicking his tail. Emberheart purred softly, entering the den. Rowanpaw hadn't seen her standing recently, and noticed how her belly had enlargened in the past few days until it looked like it was incredibly bloated. Though she was heavy with kits, the apprentice knew her haunches were too skinny, and she was likely having a hard time holding up her own weight.

"You two look like fox dung," she commented lovingly, nuzzling each of them in turn. Rowanpaw felt calmed by her warm, milky scent. It still sent shocks through him when he thought of her as a soon-to-be-mother.

She'll do great, he decided to himself.

"I feel like it," Birchsplash answered humorously, rolling his shoulders softly, but then he winched in pain at the movement. Emberheart rolled her eyes.

"Can't you go one moment without hurting yourself? Honestly, you behave like a kit!" Though her tone was scolding, it also had a caring note that showed she was joking with her littermate. Rowanpaw thought it was rather true, though. Birchsplash had shown the strength and the heart of a warrior when he decided to leave the territory to hunt, and when he was fighting the fox, but now that he was lying in a nest he looked small and soft.

"Well, I guess I should rejoin the nursery again," Birchsplash muttered. "It was a lot simpler back then. And I'd get to spend more time with my future kin, once they're born." He blinked fondly at her stomach. "How long until they arrive?"

Emberheart shrugged unknowingly. "She's not completely sure. Originally she said in about a quarter moon, but with Rainsong's early kitting she thinks it might be a few days earlier."

"So any day now?" Rowanpaw mewled hopefully. He couldn't wait to see the little kits, watching them grow up. He remembered the names Emberheart and Heronclaw had thought of for their kits; his favorites had been Hopekit, Ryekit, and Lionkit. The name Hopekit sparked something in his chest, just like Emberheart wanted; she wanted the Clan to look at the cat who held the name and think of a bright future ahead of them.

"She thinks so," Emberheart replied with excitement and fear in her mew. Then she shook her head to clear her thoughts. "I came to ask if you two needed anything. Prey, a special visitor...?" She let the question hang out in the air.

"I wouldn't mind seeing Clovertail, and maybe something to eat if we have something available," Birchsplash meowed softly.

"I'd share a piece of prey with Birchsplash," Rowanpaw meowed. "And perhaps if Blazepaw isn't busy..."

Emberheart purred. "He's been anxious to see you. Clovertail is out on a hunting patrol, but Blazepaw just returned to camp right after you got back. I'll find something for you two to share and send it with Blazepaw." She touched noses with Birchsplash in apology about their mother being out of camp, then left the den on unsteady paws.

Rowanpaw waited, claws digging into his tempory nest until he heard his brother's familiar heavy pawsteps, and he hurried into the den. He had a small rat in his jaws and dropped it in front of the two nests. "You're okay! I thought you'd be covered in blood and scratches!" He nudged his brother a few times to check his coat for any marks. "The Clan says you killed a fox, all by yourself!"

Rowanpaw rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe how quick truthful stories spread into lies. "Yes, I killed it, but Birchsplash is the real hero, he did most of the fighting and got most of the scars. The Clan should be celebrating his name."

"No, they should be celebrating yours," Birchsplash responded. He looked curiously at Blazepaw. "Does he know about... You know?"

Rowanpaw sighed. "My true name? Yes, he does, since we were kits. And that wasn't exactly smooth. If you were trying to ask discreetly, you failed. Badly."

Birchsplash flattened his ears and licked his chest a few times, looking embarrassed. But after he calmed himself down he looked up again. "Anyway, you need the Clan on your side, so making you seem like the hero is the best option."

"Are they not on my side already?" Rowanpaw felt fear flash through him. Did his Clanmates not trust him?

"That's not what I meant," Birchsplash soothed his anger with a soft meow. "When you tell Dawnstar you want to change your name, you need your Clanmates behind you. What better way than becoming respected by the older warriors? Only a few cats can claim they killed a fox, and almost none have ever been an apprentice."

Rowanpaw forced himself to nod his understanding, but couldn't say anything else because Sandflight padded into the den. Seeing the calmed fur, she meowed, "You two getting along again? Good. Thank you for the prey, Blazepaw, but I want the den clear. I'll separate the prey for these two."

With a respectful dip of his head, Blazepaw retreated from the den, casting a longing look at his brother before he entered the clearing. Rowanpaw watched him until he left the camp with three other cats, already going on another patrol. Then he let his head rest on his paws, bored and tired. The pain in his chest was easing, and he felt compelled to go out and help his Clan, going on patrol and hunting anything he could.

Sandflight seemed to sense his need, and meowed, "You're staying here until tomorrow, so don't even think about it." She sat a small black seed before his uncomfortable nest. "Take this, it will help you sleep. When you wake tomorrow, you can see if you're feeling better."

"I don't need to sleep," Rowanpaw muttered quietly but took the seed either way, not convinced it would truly help. But soon after he licked them up, his mind became fuzzy, and he soon found himself drifting in and out of sleep. Why was he just lying here like a weak kit, instead of helping his Clan? He thought about asking Sandflight but found himself too tired to do so. Letting out a grateful sigh, Rowanpaw fell into the deepest sleep he had felt since before his brother was almost killed. With that on his mind, he couldn't stop himself from remembering the day he had experienced as his mind closed on the outside world.

The sun was slowly creeping down the sky, sending streaks over young Rowankit's fur. He was sitting in front of the nursery with his tail curled around his small paws, amber eyes wide as he watched the Clan entrance. Next to him, Blazekit was trying to calm his kit fluff, though his brown gaze was distracted by his flicking tail tip. He suddenly launched at it, and Rowankit couldn't help but notice his brother's ribs.

The Clan was having a hard time with prey recently, with most cats still distracted by the sad loss of Sparkkit. A pang went through his heart as he remembered his dear friend, alive only a quarter moon ago. I should've never went into the forest, he thought, digging his claws into the ground. If he had never dragged her into the forest, she would still be alive and would be experiencing her apprenticeship with her littermates, who had just received their new names that sunrise.

Rowankit had hated watching the two kits receive their names, knowing Sparkkit was up in StarClan, watching down with the name she would keep for the rest of time. She would never get "paw" in her name, and would never become a warrior of BatClan. Anger flooded the small tom, with Dawnstar's ceremonious words flooding him. And that was why he was waiting.

His tail flicked, and his claws began to hurt. He forced them from the ground, still glancing at the camp entrance. Rowankit heard the dry ferns that were slowing dying in front of the nursery get brushed aside, and a soft muzzle touched his head. Bloomcloud's calming scent filled him, and he took a deep whiff. Then fear flooded him. Bloomcloud's litter was now apprenticed, so would he and Blazepaw be left alone in the nursery, to sleep cold and alone?

Once again, anger and sadness filled him as he wondered why his mother left. He knew he shouldn't be sad about it, but his tiny kit heart was full of grief and longing for his mother. Bloomcloud was the closest thing he had known to a mother for the past three moons, and every part of him wished his real mother was there for him, so they wouldn't be alone for two more moons.

"Don't look so afraid, Ratkit," Bloomcloud murmured, giving him a soft lick on his head. Blazekit looked over, having not noticed the she-cat. He looked surprised at the thought of his brother being scared.

Quickly, Rowankit puffed out his chest and meowed, "I'm not scared of nothing!"

"'Anything,'" Bloomcloud corrected softly. Rowankit tilted his head, confused. Sighing with an amused shake of her head, she explained, "'I'm not scared of anything,'"

Rowankit looked down, angry Bloomcloud had to correct his speech. Blazekit, in the silence, mewed softly to change the subject, "Since Frondpaw and Carppaw are apprentices, you'll be going back to the warriors' den, aren't you?"

Bloomcloud purred softly, nuzzling him lovingly. "I still have two more kits to take care of, don't I? The Clan will have to wait."

While Blazekit mewled excitedly, tail rising into the air, Rowankit felt anger fill him. He didn't understand it. He had just wanted Bloomcloud to stay, didn't he? No, he didn't. He just thought he did. He didn't want a fake mother, he wanted his real one. And Bloomcloud could never replace her. "No!" he cried.

The camp was mostly empty, but the elder Lakeshine looked over, along with the warrior Brackenfoot, who was left behind from patrols to guard the camp. Bloomcloud tilted her head much like he had before. "No?" she copied, curious about what he meant.

"We don't need you!" he growled at the she-cat, and shock went through her eyes. "You're not our mother, so don't act like it! Our mother will come back, so don't try to replace her! Aspenheart will return to us!" She had to, and he had to believe it. Rowankit was her child, her offspring, as was Blazekit. She wouldn't abandon them. She had left for a secret mission, and she would return soon, to be with him when he was made an apprentice like Bloomcloud was with her own kits.

He still pictured the way Bloomcloud had nuzzled both Frondpaw and Carppaw before they left the camp with their new mentors, Duskfang and Leafpelt. He wanted Aspenheart there to do the same for him, to congratulate him for growing up. She will be there, he told himself. Looking at Bloomcloud, he saw the sad look there and felt anger fill him.

"Oh, Ratkit..." she murmured. "You must realize Aspenheart isn't going to return?"

Rowankit felt his fur fluff. Yes, his mother had made one big mistake, giving him the name Ratkit, but he would forgive her for that soon. When she came back, he would ask her to change it, and as his mother she would say yes. She would love him enough to know he hated the name...

It was the day after Sparkkit's death he decided to go by Rowankit, but he was smart enough to know the Clan wouldn't accept it unless they respected him or his mother or father allowed it. And no one knew who his father was. So, after Aspenheart righted her wrong, everything would be okay. She just had to come back first. And it upset him that Bloomcloud believed she wouldn't.

"She wouldn't just abandon us!" Rowankit growled. He whipped his head to look at his brother. "You believe she'll come back for us, don't you?"

Blazekit held his gaze for only a moment before looking at his paws. "We don't why she left..." he muttered finally.

Rowankit didn't know if that meant Blazekit was with him or against him. Lips curling, Rowankit decided he was done with waiting. Whipping around, he hissed, "Come on, Blazekit, it's time."

"Time for what?" Bloomcloud asked as Blazekit hurried after his brother.

"To say goodbye," he hissed under his breath, jumping up the rocky pathway from the camp.

"Hey! Ratkit, Blazekit, get back here!" Bloomcloud raced across the clearing, jumping up the rocks to step in front of them. "You're not allowed to leave camp."

"I don't care." Rowankit slipped past the queen and, before she could grab him, jumped from the camp. He looked up to see Blazekit hesitating. His ears flattened in sadness and fear. "Are you coming?" he called.

Bloomcloud laid a tail on Blazekit. "Don't you dare," she said sternly, then looked back at the ground. "Ratkit, get back up here!"

"No!" he hissed. "You want to take care of me, then come with! But I'm going with or without you, no matter what!" Tail high, he ignored the suckling mud and padded away in a direction he knew too well. After a few moments, he heard heavy pawsteps hit the ground, followed by smaller ones. Both Bloomcloud and Blazekit were following. His brother hurried to his side, pressing against him. Rowankit was a little upset Blazekit had hesitated to follow, but at least he was here now.

But the three hadn't been traveling for long when quick paws sounded behind them, and Emberheart suddenly appeared, looking tired. She was panting, her sides heaving, but she forced herself to get her breathing under control. "Ratkit! You didn't wait for me!"

Bloomcloud's eyes widened with surprise. "You knew he was coming out here?"

Emberheart's head dropped in defeat. "Yes. He told me he was going to, and I convinced him to let me come with because I knew he would find a way to get out here." She looked at Bloomcloud with an apologetic look. "Brackenfoot told me what happened in the clearing. I got back right after you left. Go back home, I'll take him like I said I would."

"What is he planning on doing?" Bloomcloud looked uncertain about leaving the kits.

Eyes shining with worry, Emberheart moved forward and whispered in the she-cat's ear. Bloomcloud's eyes widened in surprise, and she looked at Rowankit with shock. He stared back coldly, and after a moment the tortoiseshell stumbled off, looking lost. "Come on, let's go." Emberheart nodded forward.

Rowankit nodded and continued. He had only spoken to Emberheart twice since he lost his best friend; once the day after when she asked how he was doing, and just the day before when he told her of his plan. She still seemed uncertain, and he wondered how much she had told Bloomcloud. He decided it didn't matter.

Pretty soon, they reached their destination. Sadness flooded him as he gazed at the hollow log sitting in the mud, moss growing on the side of the wood. It was the place Sparkkit had taken her last breath, and where Rowankit knew he would feel most connected to her. He slowly stepped forward, and Emberheart stayed back as Blazekit followed his brother. He stood at the entrance of the log with shaking legs, looking scared.

Taking a deep breath, he began: "Sparkkit, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Because of me, you lost your life, and I will always regret it. You would've made a great warrior. You didn't deserve to die so young, and I wish it could've been me instead. But it wasn't me, and I will try to live with that. Perhaps, one day, you can be as proud of me as I am of you."

He dropped his head, his heart as heavy as stone. Agony filled every bone in his body, and he felt like he was going to drop.

"Ratkit, Blazekit, we need to go."

Rowankit was saddened by Emberheart's mew. He was too sad to fight, but he still hesitated.

"Come on!"  Emberheart growled, suddenly fierce. And then, Rowankit understood why. A scent came to him, faint but still there. It was disgusting, sharp and musky.

"What is that?" he knew it was bad, and there was a familiarity to the scent that he once caught on a few warriors. 

Emberheart didn't get to answer, for, suddenly, a huge russet creature leaped from a clump of bracken upwind, which explained the faintness of the scent. The monster charged at them, paws throwing up mud.

"Fox!" Emberheart screeched, running at the kits. Terrified, Rowankit leaped into the hollow base of the log, but before Blazekit could follow the fox had grabbed him, pinning him to the ground and digging its teeth into his neck. Blazekit's screech was like horror to Rowankit's ears, and he remembered the terrible moment that Sparkkit fell from the tree. He had already almost lost his brother, and now his brother's life was under threat again, because of him.

Suddenly, a ginger form rammed the fox away, and Blazekit cried in fear. Rowankit was frozen in shock for a moment, watching Emberheart slash at the fox's nose, forcing it back. Clearing his head, Rowankit grabbed his brother by his back, not touching his bleeding scruff, and pulled him into the same place Sparkkit had died just a quarter moon ago.

For a moment, Rowankit thought he could still smell her. Emberheart reappeared, forced back by the fox. It yapped and snapped at the she-cat, but she continued to avoid its sharp teeth and lashed out without fear.

Time seemed to slow for Rowankit. All he could think about was Aspenheart. Why wasn't she here? Why wasn't she here to save them? Why was this warrior, one who barely knew Blazekit and Rowankit, protecting them with her life, while his mother was off in the wind? Bloomcloud's voice came back to him: You must realize Aspenheart isn't going to return?

Before, he had believed she would. But now, watching the cat he saw as almost a stranger fight to save his brother's life, he realized that Aspenheart hadn't just left him, she abandoned him. She abandoned him and their Clan. He suddenly didn't want Aspenheart to return. She... She was nothing. She had never fought to save his life, but Emberheart had. She was still yowling angrily and attacking the fox with strength, while Aspenheart was hiding alone, scared of living Clan life.

Aspenheart wasn't, and never would be, his mother. But neither was Bloomcloud, nor Emberheart. He didn't have a mother, and he didn't need one. He just needed his brother, and now Emberheart as a friend, and perhaps as a sister. No littermate had failed him yet... And a part of him knew they never would.

Question #1: What are your thoughts of Rowanpaw's second dream about his kithood?

Question #2: Did your heart break too when you realized how much Aspenheart broke this poor kit????

Question #3: Do you think Rowanpaw is too harsh on his mother? Do you think he should give her another chance?

Also, please remember that even if you're reading this a year after it's posted, don't be afraid to answer the questions! I'm always excited to know what you guys are saying, so don't be a ghost reader! Even if you don't want to comment, leave a vote so I at least know you're there! Thanks!