24. Avert

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To: Asano-san

From: Me

He brought sweets up the mountain
And he's not giving me any! Σ(°ロ°)

(╥﹏╥) pls fire him hes mean 2 me

Naomasa watched the scene outside, sipping on his cold glass of coffee. Takaoka was leading the class in some old-fashioned chant, and the class was giving him a quiet but warm response.

He turned back to his phone.

To: Asano-san

From: Me

Working on tests... __φ(．．)

He deleted my classes
Is dat legal ( ºΔº )〣

"What are you doing?" Karasuma gave him a judgemental look. A single glance at the screen full of kaomoji and unreplied texts was enough of a weird sign, "what are you, a high school girl? Send a more professional text... isn't that the principal?"

A beat of silence.

Naomasa looked at Karasuma, blank-faced, and took another sip.

"Are you suicidal?" Karasuma asked, entirely serious.

Naomasa resumed his typing. In the calmest tone he could muster, he told the other teacher, "Asano-san wanted me to text him every alternate hour about Takaoka. I'm just doing exactly what he told me to do."

"You're unexpectedly petty about things, aren't you... wait, Takaoka?" Karasuma pinched the bridge of his nose, then perked up in surprise, "...why?"

Naomasa put the phone down, and taps a pencil against the paper on the desk. He shrugged, "hell if I know," he dismissed, "but one thing, Karasuma-san-- Asano-san doesn't like being ordered around about things. So maybe he's not too happy about needing to instate a suspicious new teacher this late into the semester."

Karasuma raised an eyebrow at that.

"He's had to deal with that from the start of the year," Naomasa laughed, almost helplessly, "I think he's getting annoyed, y'know? I mean, I was probably sent up here to be a spy for him to begin with, so he's kinda just making use of me-- ah, he responded."

He bolted out of his seat.

"AHhh, the traitor!" Naomasa whined at Karasuma, "he's the one that gave Takaoka permission to alter the schedule"

Karasuma froze.

"The schedule?" he said questioningly-- then it sank in and his head snapped toward the window, where Takaoka was handing out a stack of papers to the class.

Naomasa gulped, "oops, you don't know yet?"

-

"That crazy bastard," Karasuma swore under his breath, at a volume Nao barely heard.

Nao made his way over to the window-- just in time to see the military trainer knee Maehara in the gut. Gasps sprung across the students, and some stepped back, others ran forward.

Maehara was on the ground, hacking up his breakfast.

Karasuma's grip on the windowsill tightened, his eyes flashing through the picture on the desk-- the two pictures on the desk-- and his foot lifted to heft himself out of the building.

He heard a snap from Naomasa, who had his phone in his hands.

The other teacher was calm. Calm-- he was always calm-- but it felt a little different. His eyes were a little more narrowed than usual-- he was focused.

"Go on, Karasuma-san," the phone was held precariously on its side-- and Naomasa captured perfectly the precise moment Kanzaki was slapped across the face, thrown to the ground.

Karasuma whirled around in alarm, and without another moment to deliberate, he marched forward.

And Naomasa stayed perfectly still, eyes set on the scene before him. He didn't join Korosensei and Irina outside, but he stayed in the safety and overlooking the perfect view from that window-- and he simply watched, pretending to not exist.

After all, Takaoka didn't see Nao as a threat of any sort. He didn't even acknowledge Nao as a coworker.

To: Asano-san

From: Me

Video01.mp4

Naomasa thought that perhaps, he was more suited to this spywork than he thought. The Board Chairman was much smarter than he thought.

-

"Are you going to stay in there and pretend this isn't happening?" Irina hovered over the window, looking disapprovingly at the teacher, "I thought you loved the kids."

Naomasa yawned, putting down his pen.

"Didn't the Octopus get the talking-to already?" Naomasa groaned, "if I go too, it'll be redundant. Like a deleted movie scene, it's not gonna be too important. Unless you're that one irondad cheek-kiss scene that we still have no idea why it was deleted-- don't look at me like that, it's been a while since I've broken the wall so we have to start somewhere."

"Are you trying to change the subject?" Irina rolled her eyes, arms crossed, "unlike us, you're a normal teacher. Normal teachers don't just--" she gestured vaguely in his direction, "sit there when that--" she gesticulates dramatically in the direction of the field, "is happening."

They usually go over like idiots and try to lecture the offender, only to get shoved back and give up. Or something, whatever the movie cliche is.

Naomasa sipped on his drink and breathed out a sigh. "Normal teachers just sip on their coffee and think nostalgically, 'ahh, I miss when we were tortured in gym like that' and then they go on with their work."

"No they don't!" Irina retorted.

Well what would you know, Ms Irina, you've never been to a normal school. (Okay that was not meant to be said. Let's pretend he never thought that.)

"My words will be as useful as yours, Ms Jelavic," Nao stood up from his seat, taking his phone with him, "so let's just sit back and watch the show, eh?"

Irina seemed to have something to say, but it fell short when Naomasa lifted up his phone, and called for Ritsu.

"I've sent the file to the military database, sir!" she saluted, wearing a fairly adorable soldier costume, "I made sure to send it to the higher echelons of the government directly so it won't be censored by the Octopus-extermination team and straight to child services."

Irina gasped.

Naomasa smiled, "thanks, Ms Autonomous," he told her, "please make sure none of it gets to press, and make sure they know Asano-san has it handled on this end."

"NDAs have been distributed, signed, and returned with vows of silence!" Ritsu displayed the letters of text proudly on the screen, "the government can pull some strings as long as the children are promised mental care, which Karasuma-sensei, as well as Kuma-sensei, have the qualifications to cover."

Naomasa startled, "how on earth did you learn about my counselling license?! I buried that in the ground three years ago--"

"Everyone in the Kunomasu family have at least a Masters in--"

"Stop! Stop! Burn! Erase! Delete!"

"According to [How to Care for Kunomasu Naomasa] Volume IV--"

"Oh sweet jesus--"

"Wait," Irina interrupted them, "you've been-- what on earth? That's crazy stuff."

Naomasa could only laugh in response, "trust me, I'm not doing anything the Board Chairman didn't ask me to do."

Irina whirled back, startled. "The Board Chairman? That man?"

Naomasa nodded, "surprising, ain't it? I told him I wanted to help the kids and like, anyone else that crazy bastard's ever trained-- you think he's only still in the military cause whistleblowers were persecuted? Anyways-- then Asano-san said that he didn't want the school's rep to get contaminated and he also said that any news I send their way will be muffled by them wanting to retain their government image and using the excuse of the octopus to divert the case-- so I used Ms Autonomous instead."

Irina took a moment to simply register that, baffled by the ramble of information and not being too sure if she was still hearing it right.

"Wait wait wait," Irina held up her hands to stop the man from speaking further-- seriously Nao was speaking like a master of information dumps-- "you're coordinating a ploy to get Takaoka fired."

Naomasa bugged out, "uh," he stalled, "Asano-san is."

"But you're doing all the work."

"Actually, Ms Autonomous is--"

"Are you actually an evil mastermind?"

"Huh? No way!"

-

When the Board Chairman showed up, everyone was stunned.

Naomasa watched from his spot on the desk, his camera well positioned to document the scene. Maybe he could send it as one last message to irritate the principal.

It was-- enrapturing, to say the least-- that this man could just march up to a man everyone feared and simply-- take him down, without even raising his hand.

Karasuma knocked Takaoka down with strength and surprise. Asano tore him apart with raw authority and words.

"Isn't it amazing?" Naomasa spoke to himself, knowing Irina and Korosensei were around to eavesdrop, "Asano-san is definitely weaker than Karasuma-san-- yet no one looks down on him. No one dares."

Snap. He took another picture.

He laughed when Korosensei fidgeted in worry, as if he was going to be persecuted simply for taking a couple of pictures of the scariest man in the world.

Maybe he would. But Naomasa'd been testing his limits and apparently he wasn't there yet. Why not push further?

"Kunomasu-sensei."

Nao realized just a moment too late that Asano is right before him. He accidentally took a picture of Asano's face before he jumped back.

Very promptly, he panicked.

When he first began to send joke mail to the Board Chairman, he'd been under the assumption that he wouldn't come face to face with said man for another while and said man would leave him alone. It did not work that way and he is disappointed.

"I would like to thank you for your assistance," he smiled that one smile that really, never was real, because it looked like the smile of nightmares, "I will have to return to my paperwork, so it would please me to relieve you of your hourly reports... they were incredibly amusing."

Nao winced at that. Was he going to die?

"I trust you have settled the issues on the government end?" he asked, an eyebrow raised.

Nao fumbled for his phone-- oh, it's in my hand-- and asked, "uhm, Ms Autonomous? Is everything settled?" his voice is high from how nervous he felt, and he tried not to make it obvious how embarrassed he was about it.

"Of course!" came Ritsu's happy voice. She evidently had no idea how scary the man she was talking to was.

Nao didn't blame her, she was a robot after all.

"The government has promised his discharge under discretion and the school board will not receive any charges or public exposure about the matter. Ritsu has covered all bases of public media in regard to it," she huffed proudly.

Nao looked back up at the Board Chairman, who was evidently rather amused by the Artificial Intelligence he's only heard of.

His smile morphed into something rather warmer-- Nao blinked and it was gone-- then he put a hand on Nao's shoulder for a job well done before leaving.

Nao still felt incredibly horrified by the small interaction. Irina and Korosensei stared at him, flabbergasted.

"How on earth are you still alive?" Karasuma asked.

Irina facepalmed, and Korosensei began to lecture Ritsu about assisting in Mafia evil schemes.

Naomasa sighed.