29. Cram

"There are no shortcuts in Language tests," Nao declared, setting a hand on the blackboard.

The words FINALS were written large and rough on the board.

"Just practice and read and practice and read. Even then, there's always a chance you'll lose points by misunderstanding a purposefully vague question phrasing, so you know what's the catch in all this?"

The students held their breaths.

"Easy. It's Luck," Nao said almost anticlimactically.

A good deal of students simultaneously face-faulted.

He continued talking, unfazed by their disappointed reactions, "exam questions are assholes. And how do you deal with assholes?" he pointed sharply at Terasaka, "you! Answer me."

Terasaka sat there, stunned for a moment. Then, "uh. You punch them?"

"Exactly," Nao's answer erected a series of horrified gasps across the classroom, including a less subtle one from Korosensei outside. Nao set a stack of papers on the table. "Break it down, pick it apart. Draw your swords and stab it until it's full of holes."

He passed the papers to be distributed. Fuwa made a terrified noise when she realized it was a stack per person, not a piece per person.

"At the end of the day, a paper full of nonsense is better than a paper that's empty," he told them as they began to skim the questions. "You force your way through enough of these and you'll instinctively know how to stab in the correct ways. That's the beauty of language-- everything can go to hell, because violence is the way to go."

Startling silence.

Then Karma whistled, "best. Teacher. Ever."

-

There's one constantly repeated rule in Kunugigaoka that isn't enforced, but highly encouraged. It's not part of the A to E class tyranny system-- it's a law passed down as 'common sense' through the school year.

"If you have any questions for Language subjects, you ask me-- the teacher in charge of your class-- and never anyone else."

Honestly, it's a classic policy. Many more schools should have it in their code, in Nao's honest opinion.

The idea behind it is simple-- every teacher teaches differently, so if you get advice from another teacher, their supposed 'shortcuts' won't be congruent with everything else you've learned. This only applies to Language subjects, however.

"One teacher might tell you to group your data into points and write them in order. Another teacher might tell you to break it down and write them alternatively. Are they both right? Yes," Nao said, "but which is better, and do I have time to think of it all? Hell no! Don't underestimate my laziness!"

"I've been wondering why yours and Karma's way of essay writing was so weird," Sugino groaned, looking at Nagisa, "whoever taught your class did it weirdly, didn't they?"

Nagisa nodded at that. "Only Karma-kun could understand him."

"It works pretty well for me, though," Karma said. "My grades are stable."

"That's because Nagisa writes down everything as he thinks, but Karma calculates all the information in his head first," Sugino said, "there's too much inthinking with that method that my brainpower can't keep up."

"Ah, that makes sense. Karma has always been better at deciphering things quickly. But the new method from Korosensei is much easier to understand, though," Nagisa said, "so I'm fine now."

"I like Kuma-sensei's method more. It's straightforward."

"I'm sticking with my old teacher's method because I'm used to it. Korosensei said it was fine, and he knows how to improve on it."

If there was something E class had an undeniable advantage in against A class, it was the fact that they had a teacher who could effectively cope with their individual perks and weaknesses.

There was no 'absolute correct' method to get things done in Language classes, and Korosensei was more than prepared (with a few dozen clones) to find what was best for everyone in the classroom.

That didn't mean the students had it any much easier, though.

"We've got too much work already!" Sugino agreed, slamming his head on the table, "you just gave us a whole book to finish!"

"Exactly!" Kimura said, holding up the stack of papers. "How are we expected to finish all this on top of our other studying?"

"I haven't slept for three days!"

"Fuwa-san, your problem has nothing to do with studying!"

"I'm sorry, I fell into the hellhole known as One Piece!"

"Then I expect an essay on racism in One Piece by tomorrow."

"You're a demon!"

"It's practice," Nao said, setting down the chalk and crossing his arms. "Compare it to the American Revolution and make it three pages at least. It'll be History and Social Studies practice, two birds a stone."

"Spare me, please!"

"Don't whine. You're good at history, so it's easy-- it's just more writing."

"IT'S JUST MORE WRITING!" Fuwa yelled incredulously, ending in some despaired sobbing noise.

Sugino patted her on the back. 

Nao proceeds with his lecture.

"Language is four-dimensional, and a teenager's brain can only cram so much of it before it gives up," he raises a finger, "that's why you-- or usually, your teachers, pick one way that works and they get right down to it. The priority of a school semester is to master the core element of what's being tested-- not to expand your general knowledge in the topic."

"So it's like Korosensei's english classes versus Bitch-sensei's english classes, huh."

"I much prefer Bitch-sensei's, though," Yada admitted, "they don't help with tests, but it's cool to know all the cool slangs and stuff."

"And swear words," Nakamura chuckled at that. "The swear words are the best."

-

"You're staying the night?" Irina asked, looking back at Nao in the office. "Aren't you doing that a lot more often now?"

Nao hummed, flipping the page of his book. "It's easier to stay up here than to go down again. The octopus will be with me, so don't worry."

"I'm not worried!" Irina snapped instinctively.

"Thank you," Nao said anyways, jotting something down. "I just need to get this done before the end of the term, and it's taking longer than I'd thought."

Irina raised a brow at that. Wasn't Nao reading another book a few days ago...? Yeah, the one a few days ago had a dark green leather cover with an amber ribbon. This one was purple and decorated gaudily with camouflage patterns.

It was just a little under the size of an A5 notebook, and held maybe two hundred pages of-- wait, that's handwritten.

Irina snatched it away, and Nao whined. "I was reading that!"

"Isn't this Fuwa Yuzuki's notebook?" Irina looked through it, "is every page-- every page is filled in with-- is this a detective novel?!"

"Hey, that's rude! She didn't say you could read that yet," Nao held out a hand in an indication to return it, "I'm supposed to be the first reader."

Irina's jaw dropped.

"Don't you have anything better to do than review our student's novels?" she said, setting the book page-down in the teacher's hand. "Finals are coming, if I recall."

"This is studying, too," Nao told her, straight out. "Vocabulary, sentence structure, purple prose. The more you practice using it, the more you understand how to grasp it in a wall of text. It's not perfect-- but it's a passion project."

Irina looked away, unable to deny the perks of that.

They both understood from there-- the most efficient way of learning and mastering a skill was to have a burning passion for it. Irina was the same in her assassination methods, so she couldn't exactly deny its effectiveness.

But hold on for a darn second, "so Fuwa wrote two novels? When did she ever have time for that?"

Nao blinked-- then, seemingly understanding why she asked the question, he drew up the green leather-bound book from the drawer.

"You mean this?" he asked rhetorically, lifting up the purple book like a comparison. "The one I'm reading now is by Fuwa-san. This other one is written by Kanzaki-san."

Irina instantly connected the name to the prettiest student in class. Irina had to admit-- she didn't peg that girl as the type to write novels in class.

Maybe poems on occasion, but really-- who has the motivation to write novels in class instead of, y'know, focusing on class?

"That's not all," Nao said, reaching for his file, where there were stray papers, cards, and scribbled notes all sealed carefully within the plastic pages.

And Irina's jaw dropped straight down.

"Kataoka-san doesn't have the patience for novels, but occasionally, she comes up to me with really pretty one-liners to put on greeting cards," Nao told her. "Yada-san wanted to write an autobiography, but she's still working on it."

That folder was thick and filled nearly halfway through. It was always on his desk and he never carried it around unnecessarily, so Irina never bothered to give it too many looks. But now she saw it-- and what she saw baffled her.

"Hazama-san is a little further down the Chuunibyou route with her book of deep dark quotes, but I think it's rather charming," he chuckled, "Nagisa tends to monologue in cool one-liners, so he always writes them down. And sometimes, he gives them to the people they're about."

There were plenty of amateurish lines in there-- it was filled with childish, clumsy sentences that bore little substance in real life.

But the point was-- all of this was part of something they were passionate about, and all of this was proof of their undeniable love for language, in some form or the other.

Irina didn't know there was so much passion in this classroom.

Sure, they were always uplifting, especially after the whole second blade talk they've had-- but she never saw these things.

These endearing, innocent little habits and hobbies, being used to nurture and cultivate individuality.

Korosensei was quickly and thoroughly preparing them for the future. Naomasa was lax and carefree, enabling mischief and allowing them to treasure the present.

And Irina honestly liked the latter so much better.

Even now, Nao was taking what little time he had to deal with something as intensive as fully reviewing a novel.

She scoffed. "You're spoiling them."

Nao smirked. "I get that a lot."

-

"Hello?"

It was nearly two in the morning when Nao received a phone call from an unknown number. Korosensei was on the other side of the planet watching a movie, so he had intended to stay up until he got the fifth chapter of this book done with.

"Good evening, Kunomasu-sensei," came a strangely familiar voice. "Or should I say good morning? I apologize for the late hour. This is Asano Gakushuu speaking."

...Hello, school boy, do you know there's school in six hours? Why are you awake?

Instead of that, Nao set the book down on the table. "Ah, Gakushuu-kun? I wasn't aware you knew my number," where is your damn father if he's not controlling your sleep hours, "it really is getting rather late, however..."

"Is this an inconvenience?"

Nao paused. Well, all the attitude and incredulous time aside, he supposed Gakushuu wasn't one to call without proper reason.

"...no. Not at all."

What could the model student of Kunugigaoka possibly want from this exiled teacher on the satellite campus?

He's very interested.

"Then, I will skip the formalities," ah, people should really follow Gakushuu's example. Skip the politeness, we don't have the word count for that. "Kunomasu-sensei, would it be possible for me to acquire your tutelage any time in the next week?"

Oh. Whatever Nao was expecting, this wasn't it.

"I believe it is most wise for me to catch up on the curriculum under your guidance, as I am more accustomed to your teachings than the other teachers on main campus," Gakushuu replied easily, like he'd rehearsed this plenty of times.

Well well well, that's exactly what Nao was talking about to E class earlier in the day.

And Nao did coincidentally have Gakushuu in his classes for the past two years, somehow. He would probably have A class again this year if he didn't get exiled.

Awh man, one of E's biggest advantages-- the amount of individual focus they get in each subject-- is being stripped away right here by Gakushuu's foresight.

"You are a very shrewd boy, Gakushuu-kun," he said. Standing up, he walked up to the curtains and pulled them shut. "Alright then. I've always been a teacher that spoiled my students rotten. Would this weekend be alright?"

Gakushuu chuckled slightly.

"Of course," came the response. "Thank you, Kuma-sensei. Good night."

"Good night," and then he hung up.

He was still a certified teacher under Kunugiaoka's staff list, and Gakushuu had properly booked a consultation session for this weekend-- that's nothing out of the ordinary, and is a perfectly valid method of self-study.

It didn't matter that Nao was the teacher of Class 3-E-- they are a 'teacher' and 'student' before they are members of currently warring factions. Gakushuu was just using all the weapons in his arsenal-- and he wasn't breaking any rules.

He just found the loopholes, and he was proudly exploiting them.

This wouldn't be considered cheating, right?

Nao found himself giggling at the thought. He couldn't wait for Korosensei to find out. The octopus would be absolutely horrified.