38. Mint

"Codenames?"

Kurahashi had a box held out in his face. "Yes!" she says, "we decided we would call everyone by nicknames today. By the way, mine is Fluffy Stag Beetle."

Fluffy Stag Beetle-- wait, why Fluffy? Ah, because she's the Yurufuwa character of the class, huh. Makes sense.

Nao eyed the box warily. If the student came up with the names, he truthfully feared what he might find inside. "I just have to draw one, right?"

"Yep!"

Nao stared at the box with dread, and reached in with fervent prayers that it wouldn't be as terrible as Irina's.

-

"I swear to everything high and holy, if I find out who wrote it..."

Nao buried his face into his hands, trying to hide his fervently reddening cheeks. Seriously, this was so embarrassing. Everything outside the mountain must never know of this.

"Not telling!" Nakamura (English Lass) grinned, "can we continue class now, Teddy Daddy? Pretty please, Teddy Daddy?" saying it twice because she's obnoxious.

"Yeah, Teddy Daddy, I'm falling asleep here," Terasaka (I can't believe it's not Takaoka) raised his voice almost jeeringly, because bullying is his special skill and he loves to make use of it sometimes.

"Heyy, Teddy Daddy," Karma (Eternal Eighth Grader) called out, "show some class spirit!"

"Teddy Daddy, can we skip the homework today?" Isogai (President Poverty) joined in, just for the sake of it. "I have a long shift after this."

"Teddy Daddy," said Itona (Picture Book Graduate), then he made a retching noise, "no."

"Haha, take your time," Mimura (Director Mushroom) assured him.

"You don't have to say it every sentence!" Nao (Teddy Daddy) yelled, flustered. "Oh fuck, it's beside my name in the narration, too. I might kill someone."

"Gotta make that word count somehow," Kataoka (Dignified Didact) relented.

All of them are absolutely doing this on purpose and he's livid. He slammed his hands against the table and tried to look mad, but he was on the verge of laughter himself.

"To begin with, there's plenty of ways to put those two meanings together in a nickname that sounds better... like Papa Bear or something..." he muttered, knowing the effort was in vain.

"But 'Teddy Daddy' rhymes," Sugino (Baseball Geek) said, like it was the most important thing in the world. The class erupts with snickers and giggles.

"It's catchy," Kanzaki (Grandmaster Kanzaki) agreed.

Nao (Teddy Daddy) groaned. "What are you guys, children that just found out they can sing?"

When he checked the rest of the box, there were even more ridiculous things written.

"Monokuma? I don't like what this insinuates. What the-- Kumatose? I'll fucking deck you, say that to my face," he hissed. "Whoever wrote 'Death at Mountain Trail', I swear you're getting detention when I find out who you are."

One snort of laughter. Someone choked.

"And whoever it is that just wrote a whole line of bear themed Pokemon only to cross out everything except Pangoro, I would like to know your reasons but I'm also absolutely dreading the answer."

Okano (Amazing Ape) raised her hand, "it's cause it's a panda, sir."

Fuwa (This Manga is Amazing!) added that, "it's the only bear that's primary Fighting type! And secondary Dark, of all things. Plus it only lets itself be captured by trainers that can beat it in a fistfight."

Nao (Teddy Daddy) deadpanned, "I don't know, Fuwa, I don't think I can win a fight against a fucking bear in a fistfight."

"Yes you can," Fuwa (This Manga is Amazing!) immediately retorted.

"Yes you can," Muramatsu (Home Plate) grimly added. Even their class' strongest two delinquents can escape a death grip from him after all.

"Wait, Urshifu is a Fighting-Dark, too!"

"But that's a legendary, it doesn't count."

"You imbecile," Karma (Eternal Eight Grader) enunciated in an exaggeratedly sarcastic tone, "you dare insinuate that Teddy Daddy isn't legendary enough?"

Nao (Teddy Daddy) snapped. "Stop it, you guys are embarrassing!"

"What?" Apparently, Kimura (Justice) disagreed, gesticulating to prove his point, "dude, Bewear fits better! It's literally the overprotective Papa Bear Pokemon that will crush your ribs with a hug!"

"Excuse all of you, what about the OG Bear Pokemon, Ursaring?!" Kayano (Forever Zero) argued loudly.

To which there's an immediate, even more sarcastic rebuttal from Maehara (Womanizing Scumbag), "excuse you, you uncultured peasant? The original Bear Pokemon is our lord and saviour Snorlax."

"Snorlax is a bear?!"

"If Snorlax isn't a bear, what is it?"

"It's-- it's a Pokemon?!"

Nao (Teddy Daddy) buried his face into his hands in muted resignation.

The classroom erupts into a heated debate on which Pokemon were bears ("koalas are marsupials, they're not bears!" Kurahashi (Fluffy Stag Beetle) argued,) and which Pokemon weren't ("Spinda are red pandas! They're raccoons!" Takebayashi (Glasses (*Explosion*)) added loudly.)

"Hey, stop it! All those brackets are confusing!" Nao (Teddy Daddy) yelled, "do you have any idea how many people probably skipped over that paragraph?"

"Teddy Daddy, stop breaking the fourth wall!"

"You're the last person that gets to say that, Miss 'This Manga is Amazing'!"

People have drawn up diagrams and were yelling at each other across the room about the validity of what Pokemon was a bear-- "no seriously, Slaking isn't a bear, it's an ape-- no, it's a sloth! Its base form is a SlakOTH for god's sake!"

So on and so forth.

He'd completely lost control of his classroom and he had no idea how to regain control. He had no motivation to, either.

"I wish they were this motivated during class," he muttered.

There was no hope of classes going on at all after this, so he just sat down and watched the madness.

"Anyways, Teddy Daddy isn't a Pokemon, he definitely fits a Totoro better!"

"Oh geez some people don't know the creepy urban legend behind Totoro and it shows."

"You're picking a fight!"

He let out a longsuffering groan.

-

"Korosensei said that he didn't like how you, Karasuma-sensei, and Bitch-sensei never use his name when speaking to him, and things escalated like this."

"Ah, the Octopus said that? I see."

"...Why don't you use his name, anyways?"

"Why don't the others?"

"Well, they said it was embarrassing."

"Exactly. And I just wanted to keep up the trend, okay?"

-

Friday evenings are dull moments for Nao (Teddy Daddy).

"Enough of that already."

He decided not to stay overnight at school this time, so he received a hot chocolate in the school building and a complementary shawl for the trip home.

"How do you even make this, anyways?" he wonders, winding the shawl around his neck. It's not nearly cold enough weather to wear a muffler, but evenings in mountains were chilly so it's a fair game.

And he had a feeling this hot chocolate + shawl treatment has happened before.

"We had Ritsu make it!" Yada says. "She made plastic flowers last time, remember?"

Nao doesn't, but he nodded anyways, remembering the fake flowers that decorated their classroom the week Ritsu joined. It started a weekly flower trend that was now filled with fresh flowers that each student takes turns bringing to school every week.

"I was testing out crocheting, since it's detailed work," Ritsu smiled from her screen. "I have burned the previous editions, but once I procure better materials and master the programming, I promise I will make you a better one."

Nao winced. "Now that explains why it's a slightly different colour every time."

This one was black-- at least, he thought so until he held it up to the light, and found that it was just a really dark blue. Navy, perhaps.

Upon closer inspection, there were bumps near the start and around the ends, probably where she had trouble changing different techniques in her codes. Even machines didn't work perfectly without trial and error, after all.

"It's fine. I like this one, so if you make a better one, you can give it to one of the other students," Nao assured her. "Knitted scarves are better when there are flaws, after all."

Ritsu seemed confused at that. "Is that so?"

Nao's eyes met Yada's, and they shrugged in fond resignation.

"Beautiful flowers are short-lived, but pressed, dried flowers are treasured and preserved as keepsakes," he told her. "Rather than luxuries and expensive costs, sometimes, it's much more important to just know that someone thought of you."

Ritsu took that in, smiling as she kept those words carefully in the crest of her memory.

"It's very strange," she told him. "Kuma-sensei, your words are often simple, and yet, I find myself very fascinated by the way they are construed."

(So basically, "I don't know what this means, but I like how the words are shaped," but spoken by an adorable robot girl that unironically meant every word.)

"It's called love, Ritsu!" Yada cheerfully informed her.

Nao jumped slightly when Ritsu's screen lit up pink, covered in clouds and hearts.

"I see," Ritsu brightened up, "it seems like I have fallen in love with you, Kuma-sensei!" she reported, very joyfully for something that would be scandalous to say if it didn't come from a machine.

Nao couldn't even be mad.

"Don't teach Ms Autonomous these weird things, Yada-san," he reprimanded, though his words were completely without heat.

The girls simply giggled in response.

"Guess we're heartbreak buddies now, Ritsu," Yada said. Then she mimed a stage-whisper, "for a literature teacher, he's so dense when it comes to our feelings, huh? I asked him to marry me last time, but he totally didn't take me seriously."

Ritsu nodded along, "I see, I see. It seems there might be a quick change in Nagisa-kun's 'classroom densest' rating that is stored in my database. Should I update the information?"

"Don't make stupid lists--" Nao stopped short. "Nagisa is in on this?!"

-

"Thanks for your work, Kuma-sensei."

Despite everything, Nao felt like he was going to cry when Isogai settled down a cup of coffee on the cafe table before him.

He's seated on the couch seats, papers strewn out before him as he tried to get some work done here instead of on the mountain as he usually did.

"It's peppermint mocha," Isogai said as he served the drink up.

It was soothing, his entire presence. There was a reason this guy was adored by all the aunties of the neighbourhood-- he was just too precious to let go of.

(And if only Isogai actually  knew the flower language for mints, he would be even more sweet. But Nao will soak in these warm feelings in his own mind. He can only handle so much precious in one day.)

"It's great for a tiring day. Oh, but it isn't on the menu, so don't tell the owner, okay?" he chuckled, a finger to his lip in a brilliant image of innocence right there. "And if you want to take a nap, I can bring a blanket over."

Nao wanted to hug him. What an ikemen!

"Thanks, Isogai," he said instead, picking up the mug and taking a careful sip. It's rare to get peppermint mocha outside of winter, but it's definitely great. "But I'm fine for now."

He should be reporting Isogai's part-time job to the school, but it's much easier to just turn a blind eye on it.

To begin with, the 'no-work policy' in Japanese schools was just a culmination of annoying, outside factors. There were underage working laws, for one.

Then one could argue that in a high-education school like this, there was a real need to emphasize focusing on studying and club activity. And most of all, being a student meant you were representing your school in Japanese society, and there could not be any reason to risk it.

It is possible to acquire a work permit from the school, but trying to get one is jumping through too many hoops Isogai couldn't afford to do in emergencies.

Even when Nao was in the main campus, he was often told to turn a blind eye to Isogai in particular-- he had good grades, after all. The school faculty would overlook it under the premise of 'not knowing' as long as he kept it under wraps.

Except, near the end of term last year, one of Isogai's classmates blew the whistle.

There was no longer a way to deny knowledge, so to maintain the school reputation, they had no choice but to take action on it and give Isogai a suspension. It was sort of like Karma's situation, in hindsight. Just, without the violence.

Kunugigaoka was just like that-- they would always tread the line of their own rules with vigor, but once it inconvenienced them, they wouldn't hesitate to turn the tables against their own students.

Culling the faulty pieces, and padding on the favourable ones-- that was one thing Chairman Asano took pride in, if nothing else.

"You know the story of the man who fell off his horse and broke his leg?"

Isogai gave him a strange look, but he stayed to listen.

"He cursed himself, thinking this was a horse of bad luck," Nao explained. "But a week later, soldiers came to conscript able men. His leg was broken, so he was spared from being signed up as a soldier-- and in turn, spared from the war."

Isogai seemed to remember that story now.

"Ah... he then realizes that his broken leg was good luck after all... right?" he said. "The story that tells you not to assume too soon, because some things may not be what it seems at first."

Nao nodded. "Yes, that one."

Isogai hummed. "I remember it, what brings it up all of a sudden?"

Nao chuckled, taking another sip. "Nothing, nothing. I was just thinking," he said.

Come to think of it, the many awful things that the students of Class E went through to end up in this ditch-- it also brought them to the best place they ever could end up.

(Great things will come, if we're patient.)

"Come to think of it, the Sports Festival is soon, isn't it?" Nao changed the subject.

"Ah, yes," Isogai said. "Will you be doing the documentation of scores this year again, Kuma-sensei?"

Nao grimaced. "Ugh, I'd better not. I'm not H.O.D. of Languages anymore," he mutters. Then, after a moment, "think I can skip?"

Isogai laughed, "teachers can't skip the Sports Festival, sensei."