ASHER

WHEN I TOLD RILEY THAT I'LL BE THERE FOR HER I REALLY DID MEAN IT.

I just don't know how I slept so long after Dad and I hung out with Tommy.

I'm skating through the hospital halls, grabbing the car keys from my stupid pockets. My shoes are squeaking like annoying rats against the cool floors. I don't have time to get back home and change into nice clothes like I had planned. I was going to show up like this. With bed hair, buildup in my eyes and dry red cheeks.

Fuck me.

As soon as I'm in the parking lot, I rush onto the main road. The place is icy, and I know not to let the car skid in the wrong direction. The last thing I need is colliding in the chaos. It's not until I look straight ahead that I notice what's happening. For some reason, I've driven myself into traffic. I rub my eyes. Fuck. This is just great. This just great.

I start searching for my phone. Come to find out, it's dead. I'm in one of those horror films. Literally. The ones where the protagonist figures out they've lost signal or the device they have is dead and they can't contact anyone. Except there's no killer on the loose or ancient ghosts. I can't do anything but sit here with my seat pushed back and wait for the roads to clear.

An eternity later, I'm finally able to move. Slowly but it's something I guess.

"About time." I groan to myself, hands gripping the steering wheel.

I get to Taft's museum late. Super late. The thought of Riley looking for me makes my stomach sink. Guilt creeps up my skin. I can imagine the look on her face when she doesn't see me walking in. Did she message me? Did she call? Or did she tell herself that I'll be there because she had faith in me. And all I did was disappoint her. Because I'm late.

It's better late than never.

Like Mom always said.

Though the thought is suppose to uplift me, I still feel weird. I wanted to be early. I wanted to dressed nicely. I wanted things to be good. We just started dating. I knew how important this was for Riley so I should've set my phone in order. I failed to do that.

Cheers to a shitty rest of my day.

There's barely anyone in sight. I tuck my hands into my pockets to keep them warm as I walk towards the entrance door. Fuck.

Reality slams into me like a tidal wave. It's locked. Not only was I late but I missed the whole thing?

I run a hand through my hair and step back, wondering what I should do next. I can't call. I can't text.

I could go to Riley's apartment. Maybe she's there.

Or maybe she's at the Coffee House.

The coffee house is my next best bet. If she's not there, I'll have to check her apartment and if she's also not there then I'm all out of options.

I make my way in the direction and God must finally be on my side because as I'm opening the door I see Riley. She's tucked in the back of the room with Sutton, Kianna and Mattie. I watch her check her phone, it's quick, but it's there and her mouth forms a line. Her friends don't seem to notice. She nods like she's listening to what Sutton says but she seems so far away.

The smell of brewing coffee is inescapable.

I clear my throat, stopping at their table. "Hey."

Mattie pauses mid sentence. "I'll give you two some privacy."She slips out of the booth almost immediately and heads to the exist.

Sutton gives me a tiny smile, following behind Mattie wordlessly.

"You better have an amazing explanation, Humphrey."Kianna says, making her way to the exit with the others but not without demonstrating that she's watching me.

When I turn around, it's just me and Riley.
Miserably, I say, "I'm sorry."

Riley plays with the rim on her mug.

I slide into the opposite section of the booth. "I'm sorry for not being there. I knew how much this meant to you."

"You really don't have to explain. With Tommy being in the hospital... am I allowed to even be mad?"

"I overslept at the hospital and my phone died. That's what happened. I came as soon as I could."It sounds like an excuse. I hate it. "I know what it sounds like. I'll make it up to you, I promise. I feel like I'm letting everyone down. Tommy, you... and all I want is to keep things together but it just seems like I'm doing the opposite."

"You needed rest, you barely got any since..."She says it like I should know what she means and I do. Since Tommy went in the hospital I haven't been sleeping well and it's caught up to me.

"Yeah..."

"Yeah, the showcase is gone and there's nothing any of us can do about it." There's this look on her face that I can't pinpoint. It's tearing up my insides though.

"Are you okay?" I reach my hand out. "Did something happen at the showing?"

"Other than my mother showing up, nothing."

"Your Mom showed up?" I echo, surprised.

Riley licks her lips, looking away. "Yeah, she did. I don't want to talk about it."

I could tell something was off about it all. She was putting up a front as if she was okay by the visit but she wasn't.

After a moment of silence, she says, "I think you should focus on just Tommy for right now. He needs you right now. I don't want you to be focused on me and my stuff when there's so much on your plate."

I know where this is going.

And holy fuck.

It's going in the wrong direction.

"What do you mean?" The words fly out of my mouth all too fast. I know what she's saying but I need her to say it out loud to me. To explain. To let me know how to fix this. How we ended up here. Because it feels like she's about to rip me to shreds or whatever shit Tyler said in the bar before this whole thing started between us.

I probably wouldn't have been affected if this was happening a month and a half ago, or a month even. But now, now I'm affected because I'm falling for her.

"It means you focus on who you have to focus on, Ash. Your exams coming up too, things like that."

I hold her wrist. "Are you breaking up with me?"The words are sour on my tongue. "I'm not letting you leave this way. You're doing this because you're scared and you're doing that thing... you're running."

I search her eyes but she doesn't let me hold eye contact.

At first, she doesn't say anything until she finally lets it out. "You're right okay? I'm scared. My mommy issues are too much. It's going to ruin you, us. I told you that so let's just cut this off before it gets too much."

"And what did I tell you?" My chest heaves. "I told you, Riley. I'm not going anywhere. I mean that. I missed your showing and I'm so sorry. I've not abandoned you and I never will so I don't want you to think that. This will be the last thing I ever miss."

She's silent and I stand up. I want her to say something. Call me an idiot. Anything. She just stands up and we're face to face. I hate that it looks like she'd been crying. I don't want to imagine she ever was.

Her hands ball into fists and she pushes them on my chest. "Even if..."another push. "I. Push. You. Away."

I grip her wrist. "Try harder. Look at me, I'm not going anywhere."

Tears fill her eyes. If she wasn't crying before, she is now. "I don't know how to feel with you. I'm hurt because you knew how important this was to me. But then I feel selfish and guilty because people fall asleep and you need sleep and your son... and I don't know if I'm allowed those when—

I pull her close to me, she freezes for a minute. "I know my pretty girl. I'm sorry. You're allowed to feel."

The truth was, Riley wasn't made of steel. She soft and mushy on the inside.

"Just talk to me. Please."I whisper against her sweet hair.

I feel her entire body relax, the tension leaving her limbs.

"You look like a zombie."She mumbles against my clothes. "You need more rest."

I kiss the side of her head. "I know that and you should know that it's already too much. It's already too late. You can't just cut this off when I already like you the way that I do. That's not gonna happen. Don't run away, okay? Not from me."

She pulls back, looking up at me, glossy eyes and all. "You're not allowing that?"

"Never." I kiss her on the lips. Soft and smooth. "And with your mother, you can tell me what happened, how you really feel about that if it makes you feel better."

"Okay." She says, in a soft voice. "Your place?"

——
AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hi guys!! I know I've been gone a while and a lot has happened in my life. I've missed you guys so much. I see all the love my book receives and wow I'm overwhelmed. Thank you!! I'm glad you guys love the little world I've created. Thanks for sticking around. Since this is chapter 38, the book is coming to an end soon but it'll be a good one. This book will not be having a third act break up as you can see. I hate characters breaking up for miscommunication or stupid reasons that can easily be solved with a mature conversation so I won't be doing it. The upcoming chapters for this story made me cry while writing them. Any predictions?