' the thing about paper flowers '

━━━━━

Kaede awakes with a groan.

Her body hurts. That much she can tell. And she doesn't know how many minutes she spent in that perpetual state of muscle stiffness, but she feels as if she can't move an inch of her body now. Swallowing bile that threatens to climb up the walls of her throat, she looks left and sees the vase spilling with stargazer lilies.

Maybe she can still move an inch and ignoring that urge to move, Kaede wants to eat. Her stomach has a black hole and she feels as if it's managed to vaporize everything in it and now she wants to fill it all up with the sweet/sour/bitter/salty taste of sustenance.

The hyperbole I could eat a cow has never been so underrated until now. If only she can move these legs and rip off these things attached to her nose. Heck, it's choking the living daylights out of her. But that could compromise the speed of the healing process, so she just lies on the bed, looks at the ceiling, count the cracks on it over and over again.

Zero. Zero. Zero.

Over and over again until her eyelids get heavier, dropping over her red eyes and she's drifted off to the mind numbing action of sleep.

Counting had never been so necessary until then 'cause the windows on her right are closed, the shutters tightly shut and aquamarine curtains still as a rock over it. She has no idea of knowing if it's day or night since the fluorescent light has always been closed, shadows filling in the room. The creak in the doorway is the only thing that makes her senses go a little sharper, as she casts her gaze to the doorway and for a minute there- a very long, flummoxed minute- Kaede holds her breathe.

Because none other than Tenko Shimura strides in the doorway, his appearance a reminiscent of the grim reaper save for his light blue hair that fringes over cold crimson eyes.

"Kaede," he calls her, his voice chilling with frost, but Kaede was an ice queen too once upon a time and it's not like she can move any longer, so she just lies there, stares at him and his look softens a little as the hood uncovers his face.

He stands on her left, his form looming over her and when the light from outside the door spills into the room, it casts a shadow on the blankets hoisted up to her chest. "You betrayed us."

The words are short, straight to the point, but not accusing. Just cold and she chills for a second or two, because it's so alike the voice All For One has.

"More and more," she says, her voice breaking and there's a visible trail of ice from where her breath comes, "you're becoming like him."

Tenko knows what she's talking about, so he doesn't question who him is. It's obviously All For One who taught them everything they thought they needed to. "I appreciate that comment," he says and a sad smile captures his face. She knows that it's not too late for him, she thought that for herself too and she was wrong. Just more difficult, but definitely not too late.

"Why are you here?" she asks, fears that the answer to her question is something in regards to death, but her breath calms imperceptibly when he answers, "Nothing in regards to you."

Her heart sinks a little, but Kaede reminds herself that her importance regarding dangerous organizations does not measure her worth. She's more than that. She's more than hasty decisions and a wound somewhere in her thigh. "We had something nearby and I thought I would pay you a little visit," he says, and his fingertips are dancing on her palms, four of them and she holds her breath again when the remaining finger grows dangerously near. "Kurogiri and Dabi helped with the policemen guarding your door. I didn't expect you to betray us too."

When Kaede doesn't respond, he tries to say something to destroy the silence. "You were always so loyal," he says. "It was almost disgusting."

She doesn't let the comment hit her, but still can't help but ask, "What about you? In a way, we are the same."

A brief smile settled on his features. "Sensei is gone now. I do not serve anyone, any longer."

"I'm lamenting your betrayal, Kai," he says. "I realize Tomoe would have wanted you to do this, I read his letter to me after all. I wish I could have read it sooner, so I could have prevented things from escalating this way."

"None of this is your fault," she says softly.

"Of course not," he replies, fingers leaving her palm. "It's yours. You gave up critical information regarding our proceedings, hideouts and do you know how many people we've lost, because you gave those locations? Two hundred and fifteen. Two hundred fifteen villains either dead or captured and it's all your fault. I could kill you, you know. Turn you to ashes"- suddenly those hands have gotten more threatening to her eyes- "but it's stupid, because I won't. Tomoe's gone," his voice lowers an octave, "and you're all I have left."

"They're not going to like it," she says, cursing herself for speaking. And is it just her or is she croaking? "Those fanatics. They'll tell you it would be better if you get rid of me."

His face remains placid underneath that hand, "About that, I'm going to confess I haven't been truthful to you," he wears that sickening smile on his face and Kaede forces herself to not be revolted, because it's Tenko for God's sake, so why does he feel different? her subconscious asks, or better yet, why are you so afraid? "Those two hundred and fifteen people, thank you for getting rid of them. I wanted to play with your guilt to coerce you into going back, but that's all naught now, I'll just tell you."

"Tell me what?" she questions, her eyes distrusting. Tenko used to throw tantrums when things didn't go as he planned, so it was odd he was so happy after he lost that amount of pawns.

"Those people were all fanatics, I planned to get rid of them soon, but the police has helped me with that, and by getting rid of Kohaku, you did a very good job of cleansing the league of their filth."

Kaede's eyes widen, and not imperceptibly this time. Tenko- or should she say Tomura now because this is the work of a master villain and not the guy who played video games with her- catches it and smiles again, his lips getting more chapped. "I was planning to take you back with us, but Dabi made the doctor spill the beans on your condition. You're useless now. A quirkless, sympathetic traitor."

"Thank you for everything, Kaede."
Walks to the door as a warp gate opens up. "Goodbye." Steps through it completely. He's gone the next second she blinks.

The next time their eyes meet each other, they are enemies.

But at least, the depressing mood doesn't last for more than a day. One day later, she made sure to count properly this time, almost a fourth of Class A is here to visit her.

There's Iida, who's looking at her coolly, almost observant. As if she's a bomb ready to explode. The others- Kirishima, Uraraka, Asui, Izuku, Kouda, Sero, Todoroki (she doesn't know if she can still call him Shouto after everything's that happened)- are either smiling awkward smiles or staring blankly at her.

"Hey," she says, receiving nothing as response.

Pain suddenly shoots through every part of her body. An amalgamation of different kinds of discomfort swallowing her up and she wants to curl up away and die.

Blinking, she shakes her head. She can't think about dying. If they don't accept her, it's not like she will be with them for the rest of her life. They'll be heroes, she'll be an accountant. She doesn't have to meet them. For a moment there, the thoughts fuel her mind and she thinks of sending them away, but she knows that a sort of hollowness will gnaw at her heart with their absence.

"Oh... hey, Kaede-san," the honorific hurts more than it should. Uraraka might be trying to ease her discomfort and she thanks her a lot for it, but so far, she only succeeds in making her feel like a total stranger to them. They don't even bring her a fruit basket.

"How are you doing?" Kouda asks, smiles. "We didn't see you after that retrieval operation, and we only found out what happened two days ago."

"Yeah," Uraraka says, smiling, but Kaede's perceptive enough that she's trying so hard for it to be real. "The others wanted to come too, but internships are getting in the way."

"And the fact that Midoriya and Todoroki were coming made Bakugou all sorts of furious," Kirishima says and by far, it's the second thing they said that sounds natural. First is Kouda's concern, the boy's the nicest thing they have in Class A. Tying with Izuku whose silence grates on her.

"He'd do that," she says, maybe a little too fondly, because she catches the look of surprise in Izuku and Kirishima's face. Uraraka is smiling though and it warms her heart a little, because the smile on her face is so true, makes her feel as if nothing between them has changed. But that's just what it is. An as if.

Rattling fists clenched, Kaede looks at them all. Some of them are also
experiencing discomfiture and she feels guilt crawling up her spine. She shouldn't expect them to be all rainbow smiles and puppy hugs with them- it's a huge feat that they came here to visit the person who betrayed them.

"Your classmates," she begins uneasily. "They're not busy with those"- she does air quotes with two fingers two hands, smiling- "internships. Let's all be honest here, they don't want to see me, because I am a maximum security detainee"- gestures at the door where two professional heroes are keeping watch, after Tenko's stunt yesterday, they increased the guards- "and in my past, I carry truckloads of illegal activity. I'm not exactly Cinderella, and I'm sorry about all the things I've done," she does a slow one hundred eighty degree, meeting each of their eyes, "I really am."

"Kaede-sa-" Izuku says, but Todoroki puts a hand on his shoulder and shakes his head. She gives the bicoloured haired boy a fleeting smile of thanks.

"I'm so sorry if you're being forced by your subconscious to visit me here, but really, take it from me, it's okay, it really is and I'm not guilt tripping," Kaede's always been selfish, but now, this is for them, for the people who cared. "You really don't need to visit me if you don't want to. I won't hold any grudges."

There's a fine line between expectation and reality. Expectation is them walking out, no words and just brief, heartless farewells, no looking back, letting her be alone in her lonesome and Kaede would drown in her solitude, but she'd smile it away, no more complications.

But reality was a little different. Reality was Todoroki Shouto bursting out a, "This is why I can't forgive you. This is why people won't forgive you."

"Todoroki-kun!"

"You're aware of the grey world we live in, but you can't seem to put in effort to actually earn our trust," he points an accusatory finger at her. "You expect everything to be okay as fast as snapping your fingers, well it's not. There's bound to be mishaps, because that's the world. We let you in, you get to close and when you're inside hearts, you break apart like shrapnel and lodge yourself in us and watch as our hearts tear apart, that shrapnel wounding it forever until it dies. And then when we actually manage to ignore the throbbing pain of the shrapnel, you arrive again with a new, warm smile expect to be welcomed like you're some sinless saint and let you in. That's not how this will work."

"Accept it," Uraraka whispers. "Accept it. Your mistakes. Otherwise we'll only end up hurting each other again."

"Uraraka..." she whispers.

"It may sound ridiculous, but I still want to be friends with you," she says, and there are welled up tears in her eyes. "But you're not the Yuko I know. You're Mizuki Kaede. You betrayed us, hurt us, and left us. At first, I was on your side. Never unwavering, but Kaede, after hearing your words, I'm not going to remain silent."

She's a bundle of conviction that shakes Kaede to the very core.

"I want to trust you, I want you to become an honest. I want you to be something genuine, I want to clear the doubts in my heart, but it's difficult to believe in your honesty especially since you are even lying to yourself."

"What do you want, Kaede?" A pause. A beat. "Tell us."

She's reminded of paper flowers. First it start like a blank piece of paper. Innocent, untainted and then you start to create the tiny folds, leave dents sometimes heavier than others and then you create the flower. Something happens and it's ruined, the folds loses and you have a crumpled piece of paper, but there's more to it than that.

The thing about paper flowers is even if you step on it, destroy the folds that made it what it is. It can flatten itself again, fold edges and corners and you're staring at another flower again.

"...I want to be your friend."

See, it always manages to rise up against the odds.

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