"When you get where you're going don't forget, turn back around and help the next one in line"
humble and kind

chapter seven: this is why i don't socialize
taehyung's perspective
° ☆.☽*: ° ☆ ☪︎

A dreamy sigh escaped my lips as I leaned my hand and stared at a certain ebony haired male who was completely engrossed in his work. From the counter I had the perfect vantage point to stare at him.

"Hey, Tae, what's that on your arm?" A soft, dainty voice asked me. I shifted my eyes to the young girl who sat on the ground behind the counter beside me. Trixie, Hana's niece.

"Ah, it's nothing. Had a little accident a couple weeks ago and cut it." I explained, glancing at the ugly scar that ran up my bicep which was visible with my plain t-shirt I wore. I had had a soft flannel shirt over it but it became so hot I had to take it off. Trixie made a sound that seemed to be one of acceptance as she returned to her book, hand petting Susan who sat in her lap.

Trixie Turner had been coming into Twice Sold Tales for nearly five years now. She lived a couple blocks away with Hana in an apartment, so she often walked here. I think she's thirteen, or she could be fourteen. For a long while we didn't interact. Or more like I would interact and she would shyly not reply. Over the years, though, we became friends through books. She sometimes came in with homework and I'd help her with it, but she mostly just read.

I returned my stare to Jungkook and felt a slight twinge in my heart. It had been nearly two weeks since we had our heated make out session and we'd barely spoken a handful of words to each other since.

"So, do you like him or something?" Trixie asked me.

"Uh.." I was going to immediately dismiss the thought, but the memory of his lips against mine stopped me. I thought about the question. Did I like him? He was undeniably hot, and a great kisser, but was that the true extent of my attraction? What was one supposed to feel for the hot guy you had the most amazing make out session of your life with? Sure, I'd been a little drunk, but Jungkook didn't even finish his second glass and Jimin had later told me, through some sneaky questions from me, that Jungkook had an iron stomach when it came to alcohol. He kissed me back, so the attraction had to be somewhat mutual right? Right? The more I began to think about it, the more I was positive that he had to have had some sort of attraction towards me. He was not nearly drunk enough to cause him to unwillingly kiss me back.

Right?

Every day Twice Sold Tales has been open since that night Jungkook had routinely entered the bookshop. I soon noticed he was a creature of habit. He'd come in at exactly 7:15 am, fifteen minutes after we opened. He'd spend the first fifteen minutes sitting outside on the curb, although with the rainstorm that's been hovering over the town he'd been sitting on the bench right outside. Once he entered, he'd go to his favorite navy blue armchair right in view of the counter and set his stuff down before heading into The Hideout and ordering the same coffee; a double shot espresso in caramel flavored coffee, no whipped cream but with chocolate drizzle and cinnamon sprinkled. With his coffee in hand, in the same big standard white mug Jin always gave him, he'd spend a few minutes looking over the books and would usually grab a few, though he rarely bought any. The books he chose were always random; fiction, autobiographies, non-fiction, science, religion. Whatever he was writing must be interesting. After he'd pick out a few books he'd wander back to his armchair, set the coffee on the side table, pull his computer out, and start typing away. That's usually where he stayed until he left at exactly 2:45, fifteen minutes before my shift ended, with the occasionally bathroom break.

This is the exact same routine he'd done every day for the past fortnight and it was driving me up the wall. All I wanted to do was talk to him about what the actual hell happened, but he always seemed so busy when he came in that I thought it'd be best to leave him to his work. Jimin had said that Jungkook was serious about his work and I did not want to come in between that.

He'd made an appearance at the last Sunday night hang out, which had thankfully gone back to being hosted by Jin and Namjoon, but I chickened out of confronting him. The extent of our interactions involved far away glances and some exchanged pleasantries, but nothing substantial enough to satisfy me.

"Tae? Tae!" Trixie's raised tone finally snapped me out of my thoughts as I turned my head to see her chuckling.

"I'm sorry, what'd you ask?" I asked sheepishly as I realized that my mind had strayed far from what she'd ask me and I couldn't recall what it was.

"I asked," she said as she started to control her laughter, "if you liked him. But your whipped stare more than answered my question."

"Whipped stare?" I scoffed, deliberately not denying that I liked him as I crouched to give her nose a boop.

"Yup! You're basically drooling over him, Taehyung." She ruffled my hair and I chuckled as I stood again. "But it's cute. What's his name?"

"Jean Jungkook." I said in a tone I hoped wasn't too dreamy.

"He's hot. You should ask him out."

"Isn't it a little weird for you to be calling a guy who's that much older than you hot?"

"Hotness is timeless, Taehyung. For example, Liam Neeson." She threw back.

"Touché."

A minute of silence before she spoke again, "Well, are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Are you going to keep staring at him like a creep or gather the guts to ask him out?" Trixie asked and I laughed at how she phrased it. Trixie always had a way with words.

"I'm not staring like a creep." I deflected.

"Not the point, Taehyung. Are you going to ask him out? It's obvious that you have a thing for him and by the number of looks he's been sending you when you aren't looking, like right now, I'd like to say the feeling is probably mutual."

"He's looking at me?" I asked and quickly turned my head to where the raven head sat and, sure enough, his eyes were on me. When he noticed I noticed he averted his eyes, as I did. I glanced back over to Trixie.

"Do you think I should go for it? It's kind of a risk since I don't know him well. Plus I'm normally the one who gets asked out, not the one who does the asking. Seems risky." I said.

"What's the worst that can happen? He declines? I never thought of you as a wimp, Tae."

"I'm not usually... but with him, it's different. I just get all choked up. Words seem to leave me."

"Then don't use spoken words! Write him a song, a poem, paint him a picture. Something! What are you good at?"

"Nothing." I replied before an idea sparked. "Actually... I do have a sort of knack for poems. Nothing special, but good enough for this job, maybe."

"That's great, Tae! I know you and he'd be an idiot to say no to you and your box smile."

"Let's hope so," I said as I grabbed a nearby piece of plain printer paper and jotted down what I hoped was a decent enough poem for asking a guy out. He was a writer, so he was probably critical of grammar and spelling so I hoped this was good enough. I wished I could ask Hana, an actual published poet, her opinion on it but didn't want to waste the time to pop over to see her.

A sliver of doubt came up my spine.

"Here," I handed Trixie the piece of paper, "what do you think?" Trixie read it over and I saw a large smile erupt on her face.

"Tae! This is great. It's so cute. Very you." She handed me my poem back.

"That's exactly what I'm afraid of." I sighed.

"Hey!" Trixie snapped her fingers and slapped my leg. "Never, ever be afraid to be yourself, Kim Taehyung. Imagine if you pretended that you were like anyone else but yourself when you were around Jungkook and one thing led to another and he fell in love with your lie? Imagine how hurt both of you would end up. If you lay yourself out as you are, present yourself truthfully, then when he falls in love you'll know that he loves you. Not some lie you gave him.

"It's better to present yourself as you are and risk getting rejected than being accepted because of a lie. It's always a better option to get scorned for telling the truth than caught in a lie. Be upfront with Jungkook about what he's getting into with you. Start your relationship right. And if he doesn't like you than you know he's not worth it, yeah?"

I raised my eyebrows at her, my mouth slightly agape. "Dang, Trix, when did you get so smart?"

"I read a lot. Plus Aunt Hana lectures me on love tons. Kind of annoying, but comes in handy when dealing with idiots like you." She playfully poked my stomach and I giggled, smacking her hand away.

"Thanks for the pep talk, kid. I don't think I would have ever gotten the courage to ask him out on my own."

"No problem, Tae. Now go get him!"

~•••~

The paper rubbed against my skin from where it was tucked securely into the waistband of my jeans, tickling my back slightly. I approached Jungkook, who just returned and sat back down after a bathroom break.

Okay, Tae. You've got this. Big breaths in, out, in, out.

"Uh, h-hey Jungkook." I stuttered, cursing myself for not using the smooth greeting I had pre-planned beforehand. His dark eyes fluttered as he looked up at me.

"Oh, hello, Tae." He simply greeted, giving me a friendly smile. I couldn't help but notice how his smile had a sort of... bunny-like appearance. "Did you need something?" I realized I'd been staring too long and cleared my throat, skirting my eyes away from his.

"Oh, yes. Right." I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath, hand reaching behind me and fingering the paper resting there. "I just had a, erm, question of sorts."

"Ask away." Jungkook invited as he lowered his laptop's screen and turned his full attention to me. I gulped. Suddenly, every single thing I had planned to say and do left my mind. I just stared into his dark orbs and lost all other senses. My palms had a coat of sweat covering them as I clenched them.

"Are you okay?" He asked, looking slightly concerned.

"Uh, yes. I'm fine." I focused on the task. "Jungkook, uh..." I looked into his eyes again, "I just wanted to say... that... I can take that mug back to the kitchen if you're through with it."

I officially crave death.

"Oh, umm, sure. I guess." Jungkook sounded a little surprised and I briefly wondered what he thought I was going to ask. He passed me the empty mug and I scurried away before he could see the humiliation painting my cheeks a bright crimson color.

What the hell was that?! What kind of a move was that? I was an absolute buffoon in the worst way possible.

"Here," I grumpily grumbled as I set the mug on the counter in front of Hana, sliding onto the bar seat and scrunching my eyebrows as I contemplated how badly I just screwed up.

"Are you okay?" She innocently asked.

"Yes! I'm perfectly fine, can't you tell?!" I snapped, immediately regretting the momentary lapse of control as I saw something dangerous flash in Hana's eyes. I mentally cowered.

"Hey, you'd better watch that tone, mister." She snapped back.

I sighed and apologized, miserably laying my head on my arms on the counter as I remembered that I very possibly weirded Jungkook out so much that he would never consider me as a suitable partner. Or even a suitable friend. I so screwed up.

"I forgive you, Tae." Hana glanced at Jin, who was checking a customer out, then back at me. "How about in fifteen minutes we go eat at Ophelia's and you can tell me what's got you in such a bitchy attitude, yeah?"

"That sounds amazing." I managed to flash a smile at her before I resumed laying my head on my arms. My thoughts consumed me as I psychoanalyzed every single word I just said to the ebony haired male. I almost couldn't believe my actions but the paper constantly shifting beneath my shirt was a constant reminder of it. I wondered what Jungkook's thoughts on me were. I almost didn't want to even know.

that's it for chapter seven, my lovelies. i hope you enjoyed this double update. i'm still listening to mono because i'm addicted honestly.

do you think tae will ask jungkook out?

do you want him to?

guess you'll find out 😉

this chapter is dedicated to
Mocha-jaebum for her amazing book, Loving Jungkook