Title: Pizza Delivery

Author: @regular-human-being

Genre: Short Story/ Spiritual/ Fantasy/ Slice of Life

"a storytelling technique that presents a seemingly arbitrary sample of a character's life, which often lacks a coherent plot, conflict, or ending. The story may have little plot progress and little character development, and often has no exposition, conflict, or dénouement, with an open ending."Apr 30, 201

It essentially means to describe everyday experiences with as much realism as possible.

Summary: Each chapter in this extraordinary novel tells the story of a pizza delivery. Each story uniquely identifies a basic human frailty and the beautiful non-judgmental way the delivery man manages to help the recipients feel better in that moment.

First chapter:

Well, they are all first chapters. They are all unique and individual, and only one refers to another one. I think each one fits the description of the first chapter template I have. Small, tremendously important. Resisting terror, no flashbacks, or flash forwards. The tense and POV are relatively consistent, every now and then the tense slips from present to past, but usually just inside paragraphs, usually just for a second. Easy fixes. Of course, the first chapter in this novella is the natural starting place, as are each and every post. The strong character development included really keeps the mystery and suspense going. The creation of immediacy is exceptional, with each and every carefully chosen detail adding its incredible strength to the overall whole.

Did I like it? Was it believable?

Let's be honest. This novel causes each and every reader to evaluate his or her own response to the human condition. Without being overtly judgmental each Slice of Life vignette offers the reader a chance to look deeply into their own psyche and determine their own degree of culpability. Are we responding the way we truly want to with the people we come in contact with every day? Close friends and those acquaintances we tend to overlook. Do we know what their life holds? Yes, I loved the book, it is deeply moving and incredibly astute. Is it believable? I believe it might be. There are people in all walks of life all around us, dealing with issues we may or may not know of. Can we all relate to being persecuted, misunderstood and judged? Yep.

Characters:

The main character is the Pizza delivery guy, a nondescript fellow, who keeps a low profile, seems like a regular run of the mill dude, whose life outlook is revealed as he speaks to other characters. He commiserates, encourages, supports, inspires and cheers the people he delivers pizza to. In one case he acts upon his convictions by calling Child Protection Services in behalf of an abused and neglected child. His character persona seems to be completely consistent throughout the entire novel. There is a sense of mystery and suspense driving the character that might be considered inconsistent with "Slice of Life" writing by definition—which technically doesn't necessarily have a fixed plot, conflict or ending. This story reads a little like an expose of the ills of society, the delivery guy being the catalyst, a non-judgmental innocent observer, but the mystery surrounding him as he keeps his hat lowered and his persona secret, or at least camouflaged promises some kind of resolution. Readers are irresistibly drawn onward wanting to discover his identity and his purpose.

Sub-characters need not be named or identified, as they represent a cross-section of life. Here we find people young and old, from all kinds of backgrounds dealing with a myriad of differing ills ranging from and not limited to: abuse, physical abnormality, mental illness, PTSD, vanity and pride, suicide, a-social/anti-social behavior, guilt, judgmental-ness, over-eating disorders, addictions of several different kinds, and pain, the loss of love ones or loss of love. In some cases the character is affected by the delivery man and either chooses to make a change or incorporate advice given to them. In some cases, as in real life, all advice and help flows on past like clear water. In one case, no amount of love and caring will ever be enough. Is this real? Undoubtedly so.

Do I connect with the characters?

I would assume that most people will connect on some level with at least one or two characters, and usually at one time or another with the Pizza Delivery Man. Is the story fully rooted in culture or setting? No, it remains comfortably ambiguous, not giving us absolution or validation. It is what it is. If it is intended to cast aspersions, I lost that effort. I see it as simply a clear and transparent view, innocent and pure in its attempt to remain nonjudgmental. I think that might be the main point.

How did it feel?

Each post feels like a different story. Each post elicits true feeling, mostly uneasiness as readers recognize their own liability. But the tone never really crosses into pointing fingers. It leaves it to the reader to decide how they will be effected, just like each character in the story is left to decide what they will do with their friend the pizza delivery guy. Some will take all he can give, and always expect more, never realizing that they are the recipient of deep and abiding love. Others will pass it on.

There are moments where psychological paradigms infringe on the literary, but not to an extent that is preachy or intolerable. I see no reason to change it, or even add more research. As long as the story keeps its general hands-off approach, it should remain intact.

Pacing:

I don't know how long the author intends to keep going with unique and individual posts, or if there will be a resolution included, as the story at this point isn't yet finished. There are no pacing issues, as each post is its own entity.

Spelling and grammar:

For the most part, it was fairly clean, and any mistakes didn't detract from the reading. A good proofread should catch all errors.

Highlights: The one chapter where the Pizza Guy is at home with the dog is very touching and provocative, really forcing the reader to make decisions about the character. Is he a real person? He seems to be. If so, how does that affect me? We all have to answer that question. I liked that this post was here. I liked feeling that he is just a person, a special person perhaps. It would be interesting to see if he is not what he seems. He displays anger, curiosity, and diffidence, perhaps even weariness and frustration. This makes him far more relatable than if he is actually some kind of angel or supernatural being. Although it would be fine if he was.

Audience: All ages and genre readers could benefit from reading this wonderfully written slice of life.

Suggestions: There was a place where very strong language is used to convey a specific character's personality in a cliché sort of way, and I wonder if it is necessary in this context, just because it was a little jolting after such an emotional and heart wrenching pre-post. The nature of the story is to get people to think, and feel possibly inspired. Just a thought. Might it be conveyed without such a jarring burst of adjective? Another suggestion is in the Karl/Karla persona dealing with possible gender fluidity and possibly mental illness. The use of the term "They" to describe one person is slightly confusing and makes me wonder if this person is actually suffering from a multiple personality disorder? And if so, is that what you want the reader to focus on, or the conflict of the gender fluid challenge? Maybe both. I didn't get that. I just felt the entity was dealing with possible schizophrenia. And distorted parental perceptions. This one might need a little tweaking. J I suggest putting the term They in italics. Otherwise, readers may just gloss over it as I did the first time through, and have to go back and figure it out again.

Please leave a comment so I know you read it. Remember that a critique is simply my opinion and you as the creator still have all poetic license, and it will not hurt my feelings if you don't use my suggestions. It was a pleasure to review your story.