AS I STEP FORWARD, I feel the floor shift underneath me. I gulp down a gob of spit and steel myself, trying to force my lungs to breathe deeply.

"Okay Lucas, deep breaths, you're going to be absolutely fine," I mumble to myself, shaking my wrists in a vain attempt to throw away my nerves. "Nothing is going to go wrong--you've rehearsed this several times in your head. Your siblings will be shocked but they will support you blindly in the end. You'll be okay. I'll be okay. It's gonna be fine fine fine..."

Stepping out of my hiding spot in the hallway, I walk out into the apartment's living area, spotting both of my younger siblings in their natural habitats. Jayden is sitting by the dining table, typing away furiously on his laptop, while Sereena's on the couch, nestled comfortably between two fleece cushions, completely absorbed in her console game. Neither look up at me as I enter the room.

Neither can see my shaking hands, or hear my breath hitch, either.

"All right nerds, I have something to tell you both," I shakily say, clearing my throat.

No response.

Clashing battle armour from Sereena's game is amplified tenfold, and Jayden's incessant typing is starting to sound like white noise. I steel myself and clear my throat loudly.

"Guys?"

"What, Lucas?" Sereena groans, angrily pausing her game, "Are you finally admitting your superiority at doing chores? Because if so, I have washing that needs doing. Thanks."

She resumes her game. Bright flashes of neon green, vermillion red, and icy blue streak her face as her in-game character continues his onslaught.

Come on, Sereena, don't give me an escape route.

"Sereena, this is serious-"

"Can it wait?" Jayden asks, interrupting me. He's poking his head above his laptop, somehow nearly knocking his coffee cup over. "This assessment is due in less than ten minutes and I only started two hours ago."

I shake my head no. Jayden groans dramatically, throwing his head back, while Sereena continues playing her game.

I've done enough waiting. I can't hold this in any longer--if I don't do this now, I can guarantee myself that I'll end up bottling my feelings and never knowing the touch of a man.

Growing annoyed, I fold my arms, glancing at either of them. "Guys. Seriously. This is important, and I'd appreciate it if you stopped doing whatever you're doing for five seconds, and listen."

Sereena pauses her game and Jayden begrudgingly shuts his laptop, both staring at me. Sereena has her arms folded, and Jayden's eyebrows are tightly knitted together. "Okay, shit, what's the announcement, Lucas?" Sereena says.

"Can you both come here? It's hard talking to you when you're on opposite sides of the room."

With a loud groan, Sereena gets up, leaning casually against the armrest of the couch. Jayden shuts his laptop and shoots of out his seat, walking towards me with his arms folded and a scowl on his face.

"This better be fucking good," Sereena mumbles to Jayden.

Well, here goes something.

"All right," I begin, sitting on the kitchen's bench stool, looking at my irritated siblings. "You two are the closest people to me in the entire world. Due to that, you two should be the first to know about this aspect of me. There's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to spit it out--"

Sereena sighs, waving a hand dismissively. "Yeah yeah, get to the point."

My hands begin to tremble again. I rub the back of my neck, avoiding their gazes. "W-well.. not spit it out yet... I've just believed that for a while, if you want something you've never had, then you've got to do something you've never done, s-so uh, I guess um what I'm trying to say is-"

"Oh no," Sereena begins, putting a hand over her mouth. "I know what you're trying to say."

I arch an eyebrow. "Y-you do?"

Please, for the love of God, say the correct thing. This'll save me so much pressure.

Sereena nods. "Duh. Judging by how long you're drawing it out and the nerves, it's clearly something huge. Something probably life-changing, dare I say."

She looks at Jayden with a grin. "Lucas has joined a cult. It's too late for him."

Eyes widening, I furiously shake my head. "No!"

Jayden and Sereena are giggling between themselves. The former smirks at the latter, before looking at me pointedly. "Oh no, it's even worse--you must be changing your course again. Come on, you've got one semester left, don't change for the fourth time!"

Sereena and Jayden double over in laughter. I just sit there, arms folded, seething.

"Oh man, that was golden," Sereena adds between breaths. "How long did he stay in teaching for?"

Jayden wipes a tear from his cheek. "Like, a single semester? I swear it was more than that-"

"SHUT UP!"

Jayden and Sereena stop instantly, looking at me like I just kicked a puppy. "Lucas, we were just kidding around-"

"I'M GAY! I'M FREAKING GAY! THERE!"

Jayden's eyes widen almost to the size of two shocked dinner plates, his mouth agape. Sereena just stammers, her eyes flickering from Jayden to me.

"You're gay?" Jayden finally asks. I nod.

"But... but what about those girls you dated in high school and the girl you dated for your first two years of university? That was all just an elaborate cover-up?" Sereena asks.

I roll my eyes. "If I explain, are you going to keep laughing at me?"

They shake their heads no. Sereena clears her throat. "We were just joking."

Shrugging, I sigh. "Whatever, it's fine. Just forget my past dating life, okay? None of it was real, I was still figuring things out; can we just leave it at that, please? I just know that I don't like girls at all, and I really want to date a guy. I've been missing out on so much."

Sereena laughs. "You're not missing out on much, trust me."

I roll my eyes. "Come on, Sereena, you know what I mean."

She nods. "I know. I was just--"

Jayden nudges her side with an elbow, making her scowl. "What I think Sereena is trying to say, is that she's proud of you. I know I am. It takes a lot of courage to admit something like that. Good job, big bro."

With a snort, Sereena laughs. "Okay, sure, but for the record, I thought you were going to admit you murdered someone or something like that. You keep doing you though. Just don't come to me for guy advice, I'm sick of that stereotype. I'm equally as terrible with men."

Sereena looks back at the control on the couch, before eyeing me with a grin. "Now, if you'll excuse me..."

Almost comically, Sereena flops on the couch and unpauses her game, immediately shooting a gremlin in the face. Jayden doesn't return to his laptop; rather, he sits on the bar stool next to me and claps my shoulder, half hugging me. "Sorry dude. We should have taken you seriously. Don't take Sereena's comments to heart."

I sigh. "I know. I just wish Sereena was more apologetic, or something, you know?"

Jayden scoffs. "You're serious? You're asking a sixteen-year-old with an underdeveloped empathy ability to apologise for something she thought was right to do?"

I swear, my eyes are going to fall out of my head with the amount of eye rolling I'm doing. "You're right. I'm totally blaming Mum for that."

We sit in silence for a few moments. Jayden's arm is still hooked around me--his embrace a little comforting. "When are you going to tell Jesse?"

I shrug, earning myself a grunt in response. Jesse's my best friend and our roommate; we met by accident during orientation week a few years back. He was working a gym stall and I tripped and threw a pie at him by accident, and the rest is history. Despite our tragic way of meeting, we became fast friends. We've been inseparable since; he's been just as indecisive about his degree as I have, and is doing the same course as me.

He won't be back 'till the early morning hours--he said something about going to a party, I think. I don't remember it clearly. His whereabouts weren't exactly on my priority list tonight.

"Not today, but soon. He deserves to know just as much as you and Sereena did."

Jayden nods. "Are you going to call mum and dad? Tell them too?"

"Not yet."

He nods. "What about the rest of the family?"

I chuckle to myself. "Jayden, I appreciate your eagerness, but you shouldn't be worrying about that. I'll tell everyone in my own time."

He unhooks his arm, nodding. "Right, right. Sorry. I'm just happy for you. I hope everyone is accepting, for your sake."

Jayden and I share a smile. My brother almost does a double take at his laptop, springing out of the seat. "SHIT! I knew I was forgetting something. Sorry, Lucas, if you'll excuse me--"

He rushes over to his computer and resumes his assignment. I walk over to the fridge, observing the rest of our shared apartment as I take a sip from a bottle of water.

That was a lot easier than I thought. Damn, novels and articles make coming out seem much a bigger deal than it is. Then again, it's the twenty-first century; being gay isn't deemed as bad as it was ten years ago by society.

Or maybe it's just my siblings being super supportive, like always.

"Hey Lucas, stop daydreaming and come help me kill this warlock. He keeps throwing these blue orbs at me and I just can't seem to-"

Before Sereena can finish her sentence, her character is swallowed by hellfire.

"Oh for--ARGH! Lucas? I can't kill him on my own--I need you as my player two!"

Snorting, I nod. "I'm coming."

I close the fridge and sit next to her, activating the spare control. Soon, we get lost in the game, and the realisation that I was finally out washes over me completely. While the next level loads, I take a moment to look at my brother and sister, a content smile spreading across my cheeks.

Step one, done. Now, time for step two and three--coming out to everyone else, then finding some dateable guys.