#46: Irresistible (Part 7)

*Y/N's P. O. V. *

I would have genuinely loved my closeness with Ms. Elaine if it wasn't just about her always talking about her relationship with Patrick every time we are together. I know she's that type of person, the one that constantly wants to share fancy and great things about her life, but her particular love life hurts me. But, of course, I couldn't show that. I can't let her know that I'm getting hurt or anything.

It's been a month since that break up happened and it felt like everything between me and Patrick just got flushed down the drain. Everything. Even our relationship as a professor and a student just disappeared. All four years of experience together just gone.

I still don't know what happened, but more impressive is I'm still not mad. I just accepted this all passively even if it really hurts so much. I just keep on thinking that I can't do anything more...who am I to assume that he'd really stay with someone like me, right?

During these days, I'm just drowning myself with a lot of school works to distract myself. Thankfully, I'm still doing great. I'm proud that I can still handle myself like this even if I feel like something is missing. Meagan has been a great help too and she guided me to open myself better to make a new couple of friends. We just realized then that I never really got to hang out with a group of people before since I'm always working with Patrick, but now that I'm all free, I got to do that now.

I'm currently inside the music room and Ms. Elaine is also here with me. My long-awaited recital is tomorrow and she volunteered to help me practice today. I have been exerting extra effort for that performance because it's going to be my biggest performance. There will be other performers, but, as they put it, I'm the main performer. I have come a long way in this and I want to show how much I've grown and besides, this is my passion too. The piece that I am playing means a lot too, and even if I don't want to admit it...I  still want Patrick to be there. Even just a professor, nothing more.

After going through my piece perfectly, I realized that she was just staring at me.

"You're really wonderful, you know that? You play the violin perfectly," she said sweetly.

"Thank you. It's my first instrument and I just find it easy and enjoyable to play," I told her.

"You know I'd love it if you could play something like that to my wedding. You'll be on the top of my list, Y/N. Patrick loves the violin too, right?" she suddenly dropped the topic and I forced a smile. She's really good at making me feel like this.

"Yeah. Of course, I'm already looking forward to it," I said, continuously keeping up my act.

"Good luck with your performance tomorrow! I'm already sure that you'll be great, but another good luck wouldn't hurt," she said sweetly, "Patrick and I will be watching. Thinking about it, he really seems excited about tomorrow's event."

Him? Being excited about it? Yeah, I remember that. Patrick was the one who suggested that I should do this particular piece and since then, he's telling me nonstop how he's excited to see me perform. I doubt that's true anymore, but of course, because of Ms. Elaine's words, my stupid self is hoping.

"I'm excited too. I'll make sure I'll do my best," I told her.

As we close up the music room, she continued to say things about her and Patrick and I'm here, pretending to love every fact she's sharing. I just nod and laugh at everything she's saying like as if I'm so interested and I'm lucky that she's not seeing the bitter side of me.

Finally, we're done packing up and we also got our things from her office. We both walked to the exit of the building and saw that the sun is about to set, but that's actually not the problem since the more observable thing outside is the heavy rain.

"Oh, darn it. I don't have an umbrella," she said while looking in her bag and then I realized that I don't have mine too.

"I forgot mine too," I said helplessly. There's no way I'm going to go through that rain when I'm this tired. I'm sure I'll catch a cold or maybe even a fever and I can't let that happen especially with tomorrow's performance.

Elaine took her phone and dialed someone while I remained standing there, asking for a miracle to stop this rain.

"Hi, babe? Where are you right now, I'm kinda stuck here because of the rain. Pick me up, please?" I heard her.

Great. She's really amazing at flexing this.

I know that Patrick is not currently in this building, but I know he's still within the campus, "Okay, great. I'll be waiting, thanks!" she said then hung up.

I looked back inside the building and it's actually almost empty. As I said, it's about to get dark and classes were done two hours ago. I'll be stuck here if I don't leave now. Before I can even decide, a car pulled up in front of the lobby entrance. Ms. Elaine immediately walked towards it and the moment she opened the passenger seat's door, I saw Patrick inside.

"Why don't you come with us? We'll drop you off at the first bus stop," she said, keeping the door open even after she sat on the passenger seat.

Despite not wanting to, I gazed at Patrick and I saw that he's intensely looking at me. I always get this feeling like he wants to say something, but is holding himself back. I honestly don't know if that's just in my head or that's the truth, but nevertheless, it shouldn't matter.

"No. I'm good. Meagan's probably still around campus, I'll just tell her to fetch me here. Thank you, but I'm fine," I told her, my stubborn side taking control.

"Are you sure? The rain looks like it's not gonna stop. I swear it's fine ---

"I really appreciate it, but I don't want to be an inconvenience, prof. You should head home now. Good night, Ms. Elaine...Mr. Stump. Drive safe," I stated before deciding to leave them and enter the building again.

"Alright then, be careful on your way," I heard her say before they drove off.

Well, time to soak myself with this heavy rain.

*Patrick's P. O. V. *

Come on, Y/N, just accept the offer.

I kept saying and saying inside my head as Elaine tried to convince Y/N to come with us due to the rain. She's really torturing her more by acting like this, but this is the first time that I agree with what she's doing. I don't want to leave Y/N in here, but I guess she already made her choice.

Without having the chance to say something, Y/N already said goodbye and walked inside the building again. Elaine closed the car door and I just drove off.

"Can you please stop? You already got what you want, yet you keep on torturing her and me," I told Elaine. I've been saying this again and again, but it's like she gets a lot of satisfaction from it and has no plan to stop.

"Oh, please. It's harmless, Patrick. Besides, it'll help her move on and you should move on too, you know," she said.

If I only have the courage to, I swear I would have driven this car off a bridge already. For more than two months now, I've lived with this...and I'll keep doing it just to keep Y/N out of trouble.

---------------

Since the moment that I've found out that Y/N will be performing at this recital again, I was ecstatic. This performance also has a little more meaning to it since she's going to play a piece that we both put together. I've seen her grown into a more confident performer and, as her mentor, professor, and admirer, I'm so so proud of her. This will be her biggest performance in this school and I want to be her to support her even silently.

The event has started already, but I'm still somewhat anxious. The fact that I'm here watching this performance is suspicious enough. Elaine didn't do anything to stop us from going here and despite being present here, I can't calm down. I'm just hoping she's not going to do something bad about Y/N's performance.

We're at the front-most seat and everyone already knows we're here. Performers are always happy to see it if I'm in the audience because that's a sign that I like their style of playing. Well, yeah, I do like them, but now, I'm more looking forward to Y/N's performance.

We're up to the last person before Y/N and I'm now so ready to see her.

"Get up, let's go," Elaine whispered, tapping my arm.

"What? It's not over yet and...

"Yeah, that's the point, darling. We're going," she answered, I think I chipped my teeth because I gritted them so hard.

"No. I won't go," I said firmly. The person on stage just finished, soon Y/N will come out.

"Fine, suit yourself, Patrick. She might impress you all for this performance, but don't expect that to last long. Let's see how they'll handle her little secret," she said before standing up and walking away.

I wanted to throw a punch at anything, but I kept it all inside. The host is already announcing Y/N's name. I really wanted to stay, but I can't. Heavy-hearted, I stood up and walked away the moment she came out on stage.

I pushed myself not to look at her, but I couldn't. Before I could completely exit the vicinity, I looked at her and I saw that she was already looking at me. Before, I've always told her that I wouldn't miss this performance for the world, that I'd be here from start to finish to support her...but now, here I am, failing as a professor and as a supposed partner. It's really hard to deny things if you feel it deeply, but I can't do anything else. 

I'm sorry. I murmured to myself, blindly hoping that she heard that which is so impossible.

I sighed and before she started, I walked away without looking again.

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Thanks for reading!!!