Will: I like my men how I like my coffee: short, dark, and Italian.

Trying to find Annabeth in a crowd:
Percy: Watch this.
Percy: Hey does anyone know what 2368x54896/2 is?
Annabeth: *yells from the crowd* 64,996,864, obviously!
Leo: Holy shit...
Percy: Found her.

Percy: Cmon Nico.
Percy: Real men wear onesies.
Nico: No.
Leo: Yeah!

Person: How about Reyna with-
Me: REYNA AVILA RAMIREZ ARELLANO DOESN'T NEED ANY MAN SHE IS A STRONG, BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WHO IS INDEPENDENT AND IF RICK DARES TO TRY TO GIVE HER A GUY I WILL LITERALLY GET NICO TO SHADOW-TRAVEL ME TO HIM AND I WILL BEAT HIS ASS AND EAT ALL HIS OREOS I SWEAR TO ALL THE GODS I WILL FUCKING DO IT!!!!!!!

Leo: OMFG, I'm so much hotter than Percy! *puts hand on fire*
Percy: You know what, you are hotter than me.
Leo: TOLD YOU PIPER!!!
Percy: You are hotter than me cause I'm COOLER THAN YOU!! *throws water at Leo making the fire go out* You just got perssassyed! *walks out like a boss*
Jason: OHHHH NO HE DIDN'T!!

PJO series in 7 words:
Prophecy: You will die.
Percy: Lol, nah.

Percy giving Annabeth "baby seal eyes" and trying to get away with shit honestly gives me the strength to go on.