Idiot: I love Percy Jackson! I totally ship, PERCY AND CLARRISE!!
Me: *Holding the door open* LEAVE!

Jerk: I hope all of your favorite fictional characters die.
Me: You know what I hope? Let you fall into Tartarus, get killed in the hunger games, get shot by a Dauntless, and get Demon Pox!
Me: I win!

*Percy and Annabeth texting*
Percy: Hey Wise Girl
Annabeth: Percy what do you want?
Percy: Just to tell you that I love you
Annabeth: Percy I'm in the middle of a battle and you text me just say that you love me?!
Percy: Yes.

I wonder if it can erase the Percy Jackson movies.

Percy: Why am I sweating? Percy you probably smell really bad. I can't calm down. Try to calm down, I can't, I'm to nervous. Just don't get nervous Percy. It's just proposing. It's not that big. Yeah, it's not that big it's huge. Gigantic. OK, now it's OK to get nervous!

Idiot: Octavian is the best character in the ser-
Me: *slaps him* Everybody hates Octavian!  Deal with it!
Idiot: Caleo is not going to w-
Me: Don't you dare mess with my OTP!!
Idiot: Percabeth won't survive Tartaru-
Me: Read The House of Hades you bitch!!!
Idiot: Jason Grace is better than Percy Jac-
Me: Percy was offered immortality! Beat that!