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Dedicated to bae HopeWinters_ because she's such an amazing person. I wish you all the luck in the world with your Dimensional series!

[ B L A I R E ' S P O V ]

After finishing the last of the Karate Kid movies, I took the initiative to get both Jax and Eden off their lazy asses and get them out of the house.

It's no use if we stay in the house all day—I can do that when Eden's not here. I don't want to waste a single precious moment with him. I want to do things with him and I want to make sure he's as happy as he can get when he's with me. So staying indoors is not an option at all.

    Since it was already late afternoon by the time we're done, I opted to get some food in our stomaches. Jax drove us to Taco Bell—of course—and we got some tacos on the go. Eden's list this weekend consists of eleven things so I make sure we do at least half of them today and leave the rest tomorrow.

    Naturally, his first on the list was ice-cream so after tacos, I made Jax drive us to a Gelato shop. We spent an hour there because Eden couldn't decide if he wanted Cookies N Cream or Vanilla. Jax eventually ran out of patience and got him both.

    Now, we're at the beach, the last stop of the day, to watch the sunset. I lay the towel down on the sand and take off my shoes, then stretch my feet out in front of me, my elbows propped up behind me. Eden's eyes grow wide when he sees me just sitting there doing nothing.

    "You're just going to stay here?" He asks me.

"Eden, I'm exhausted. Why don't we watch the sunset from here?" I try to persuade him.

    "Well, that's no fun." He crosses his arms and pout. "We should make the most out of the water."

    "The sun's setting. The water's going to be cold," I complain.

    Eden rolls his eyes and then turns to Jax, who's smiling smugly at the both of us. "Can you believe her?"

    Jax chuckles. "I know. Such a party pooper."

    "Hey!" I swat him with my arm, but it hardly makes an impact. If anything, I'm pretty sure my hand just grew numb.

    Dammit Jax! Damn you and your rock hard muscles!

    "What?" Jax's eyebrow lift in confusion.

    "You're supposed to be on my side," I glare at him.

    "Uh, no I'm not." He counters back. "I'm on the side that benefits me the most." He stands up, dusts the sand off his khaki shorts and shrugs. "And I'm going to follow Eden into the water."

    I prop myself up and pout. "But you're just gonna get wet."

    "Why? Jealous?" He teases. "You can get wet if you want to. Hell, I will personally volunteer—"

    "Shhhhh!" I pinch him with my fingers and he flinches. "Don't talk like that! My brother's here."

    I whirl around to see Eden having his hands clasped over his ears, looking away shamefully. "I didn't hear nothing!"

    "That's a double negative. Which means you heard something," I say, rolling my eyes. "Please don't follow what this idiot says."

    Jax laughs and walks over to my brother, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Forget what you heard, Eden."

    "I don't think I can," Eden cringes. "You guys are disgusting."

    "Correction. He is disgusting." I point to Jax, who simply just winks at me.

    "You gotta understand, Eden," Jax starts off, squeezing my brother's shoulders. "I'm trying to woo your sister real bad. Sadly, she's not falling for my lines."

    "Yeah, well, obviously," Eden says sourly. "Your lines suck."

    I throw my head back and laugh. My brother is the epitome of sassiness.

    Jax glares at Eden. "Look, kid, do you want me to follow you into the water or not?"

    "Ah, so I'm back to 'kid' again," Eden teases. "Fine. If you insist."

    "Come back to me," I kiss Eden on the cheek and watch as Jax slides an arm over my brother, pulling Eden closer to him so he can mess up his dark hair. Eden backs away and makes a disgusted face, but Jax cages him in teasingly, ruffling his hair up even more. I laugh quietly to myself as I watch the comical scene unfold in front of me.

    The water splashes with every step they take. Eden's a couple of yards away from Jax, and Jax is desperately trying to catch up. When he does, he grabs a fistful of Eden's shirt and pulls him back, causing him to fall into the water. Eden resurfaces, seething as he splashes water at Jax. The both of them go at it for the next couple of minutes, a mini water battle ensuing.

    I don't join them, even though I desperately want to. But there's just something about Jax right now—at this moment with my brother—that touches me deep in the core of my body. I realized that this is the first time I've ever seen Jax interacting with a kid before. I've been his bodyguard for two weeks now and I know that he tends to stay away from children. It's in his nature.

    Perhaps he should only take partial blame. I mean look at him. Kids tend to stay away from him too. His muscular body, hard eyes, nasty scowl—all reek of trouble. No parent would want their child to go near him.

    But Eden—Eden isn't scared of Jax at all. And I love that. I love that he can see past Jax's exterior and interact with him like a normal human being. Jax seems to appreciate it too. I've never seen him so... happy before. So at ease. I realize I'm watching him as his defenses fall off—no barrier left holding him back.

He's no longer the Jax I once thought he was. He's no longer intimidating. He doesn't make anger his bitch. He's doesn't use words like a weapon.

     He's just... Jackson.

    My Jackson.

    Oh god, where on earth did that come from?

    I watch silently as Jax throws Eden up and catches him easily and effortlessly, causing him to giggle. I smile at that gesture, knowing that Eden is in good hands for the time being.

    Jax makes my brother happy. And if he can do that, he has succeeded in making me happy.

    I hadn't notice that the sun had already set until I see Jax making his way back towards me. It's a mighty fine sight, I'll tell you that. His drenched white shirt clings unto his body and I can see the indents of his abs through the translucent fabric. He flips his hair back effortlessly, his blonde hair now pushed to the back. When he sees me, he grins and my heart immediately disintegrates to dust.

    "Hey," he murmurs as he takes off his slippers and makes himself really comfortable beside me. I'm propped up in a sitting position, my head in between my knees, and I turn it slightly so I can have a better angle of him.

    "Hey," I say breathlessly.

    "Eden says he wants to stay in the water a little while longer."

"But what if he gets hypothermia?"I eye my brother warily, who's playing in the water by himself. He doesn't seem to mind though. In fact, he looks like he's having the time of his life.

    Jax chuckles. "Um, I'm pretty sure he won't. I'll give him another fifteen minutes max."

    "Alright," I let go the breath I've been holding earlier. "You were great with him out there."

    "Nah, it's nothing." He shrugs.

    "It's something," I say, correcting him. "You hate children."

    "I dislike them. There's a difference." Jax says. "But Eden... he's different."

    "Yeah, he has that kind of effect on everyone." I turn my attention briefly to my brother, who's playing in the water by himself. He seems to be in his own little world and I don't want to burst it—not yet.

    "What time do you have to return him by?" Jax asks.

    "His parents said he could stay the night. I mean—they're out of town for the weekend and they really didn't have a choice...but they said he could stay with me. " I say, my heart leaping just a little. I couldn't believe it when they told me the news this morning. I was ecstatic—even Ben couldn't help it. He was happy for me too. "I was going to tell you—"

    "I'll prepare the guest room tonight for him," Jax interrupts me. "Unless he'd want to sleep in your room. If that's the case, I'll get extra blankets."

    "That's... nice of you." I'm taken aback by his offer. It's not that he isn't nice. I know Jax is capable of being just that. But it's the willingness that laces with his tone that throws me off.

    Jax smiles, then reaches forward to push a strand of my hair away from my face and tucks it behind my ear. I'm highly aware of his touch that sends all my nerve impulses into self-destruct mode.

"Sometimes, I think that you think very lowly of me," he says. "You know, the devil wasn't always pure evil. He has his good moments too."

    He has a point.

    He clears his throat and pulls his hand away and I immediately crave his touch again. I long for it.  He looks away and frowns and I want nothing more than to wipe it away. Suddenly, I wish I was Eden—I wish I had the ability to put that smile back on his face again.

    And so I do. At least, I try.

    "I... I called it off with Ben." I say, barely a whisper. Jax's head turns swiftly towards me, his eyebrows knitted in confusion.

    "What?"

    "This morning. The reason why I was late was because I had to talk to Ben." I tell him. "I spent the night with him... and we got talking afterwards and then he confessed that he loved me. I couldn't—I had no choice but to break it off with him. If I couldn't return his love, I couldn't continue what we had any longer."

    "Oh," he says.

    "I feel awful about it though," I sigh. "I felt like I was leading him on, even though I wasn't aware of his feelings for me until last night. If I knew, god, if I knew, I could have stopped it. At least I won't have to feel as shitty as I feel right now."

    "Hey," Jax cups my face with his hand and caresses my cheek with his thumb. He has stolen all the air and I can't breathe. "It's not your fault."

    "I can't help feeling like it is. I guess I'll have to add it to the list of bad things I've done in my life." I laugh to myself quietly. "Oh, and that list is long."

    Jax chuckles. "Darling, I highly doubt your list is as long as mine."

    "I steal things, Jax. I'm a thief. I steal people's hard earned money and possessions for my own benefit only," I tell him.

"Darling, that's nothing," he drawls. "I fight in underground tournaments. I've injured a shit load of people. I think I may have put someone in a coma."

    "Shit," I mutter. "You're crazy."

    He grins, though there's a little bit of sadness behind it. "Like I said, you can't even fathom the shit that I've done, Blaire."

    I scoot closer to him, challenge gleaming in my eyes. "I robbed a convenience store before. Back when I was still homeless."

Jax pauses for a while. "You had to do it to survive."

    "Doesn't mean it's not wrong." I shrug. "I feel awful about it for a long time. But I can't change what happened. I was too desperate. Nobody wanted to hire me and I've never hit that low in my entire life. My parents just died—and my inheritance was a joke. My dad had gambling problems—threw all that money away." I take a deep breath and sigh. "So I had to do what I had to do. Do I feel bad? Of course I do. But the most fucked up things is that if I were in that same situation, is that I'd do it all over again."

    Jax stays silent for a while, trying to compress everything I had just told him. "Shit, Blaire. You were homeless? I didn't—I didn't know—"

    "It's okay." I shrug him off. "It was a few months ago. I'm lucky to have found Belle and Ben." That thought makes me frown. "Shit Jax, I owe my life to them—to him. Ben. And this is how I treat him? Gosh, I feel even shittier than ever."

    "No, you shouldn't feel bad about it." Jax tells me, his eyes wide. "He... cares about you and the best thing you could give him was a life without you in it. Because it's just going to make everything worse if you stay in his life."

    I don't know if he's talking about my situation with Ben...

    Or himself.

"Jackson..." I start to say but my voice trails off from the uncertainty of where this conversation might be heading.

    "I cheated on my girlfriend of three years." Jax blurts out. "With her own sister."

    What the fuck.

    "I know..." Jax looks down shamefully. "I know. It's a fucked up thing to do. And it only happened a couple of months ago."

I say absolutely nothing.

"Yeah. I'm a cheater. I admit it. I'm the lowest of the low, Blaire," he frowns, the creases on his forehead deepening. " I just... I don't know. I guess I snapped. Lost all sanity. I used her sister as an escape—I just... I don't know what I wanted really. I was so screwed up in my head that I actually wanted to do it. But I can't change what happened. And I feel so fucking horrible about it."

    He stares at me, looking for reassurance that I'm not going to bolt after he tells me this, so with a little nudge, I link my fingers with his and squeeze his hand. He immediately exhales deeply, looking a lot less tense than before.

    "But... that's not all," Jax says, shaking his head. "I didn't just cheat on Sienna, Blaire. I almost killed her."

    I can't breathe. My throat is constricting and my lungs are suddenly deprived of oxygen.

    "I drove her crazy," he tells me, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles, looking down as if he was scared to look me in the eye. "She hated my fucking guts. She was hell bent on getting her revenge on me. I don't know—it screwed with my mind. I thought I still loved her, you know. I thought that maybe the whole Beth thing was some meaningless fling and that I still loved Sienna. I pursued her—I was adamant on getting her back."

He takes a deep breath and then continues. "But she fell in love with someone else. Kayden. The guy who... forfeited his championship to me. She was so hell bent on revenge on me that she wanted to get it through Kayden when he fought with me in the finals. She was certain that he could beat me. But... he had other plans. He threw the fight on purpose so that he can save her from that anger. That's why I won. Not because I was the best. Because he lost the fight on purpose."

    I open my mouth to say something but he's not even half done yet, so I close it instead and let him speak.

    "But... I did something horrible, Blaire." He exhales a shaky breath. "When we were fighting in the ring—Kayden and I—or at least I was beating the shit out of him—she went in and she tried to protect him from me—but I was too late—I was going to deliver the last blow so I could end Kayden but I didn't know—I swear I didn't know—if I did I wouldn't have—wouldn't have hit her—"

    "Shit, Jackson," I say, a tear leaking down my eye. "Shit."

Well, this conversation went south so fast.

    "Yeah... I... uh..." Jax closes his eyes and swallows, a lump forming on his throat. "Doesn't matter anyway. I still did it. And I can't change what happened any more than you want to too."

"Jackson..." I start off, immediately wanting to comfort him. "I didn't know about—"

    "It's okay." He waves me off. "I'm fine. It's no big deal. I've learnt to live with it these few months."

I know he's trying to brush the matter off like it's no big deal but I know better. It is a major deal. I think that there's much more pain inside of him than he's leading on. Something as huge as this must have affected him in some way—emotionally or psychologically, or both.

I look into his eyes and there are filled with so much sadness and guilt that I wish I could make it go away. I have never seen him this way before—I always thought that he was invincible. That there was no way someone like him was capable of feeling so defenseless.

So powerless.

And now, my heart aches when I see him looking like this, so frightened and vulnerable after what he has told me. I know those feelings all too well and know that nobody should ever be allowed to feel that way. It does something to your soul—it reaches in and tears out the hope that you try to desperately cling unto.

Nobody deserves to feel like that. Not even someone like Jax.

I cup his cheek in my hand and look him straight in the eye, holding his terrified gaze.

    "No, you're not okay." I shake my head. "You went through something horrible, Jackson. And I... I'm not going to pretend to understand the pain and guilt you went through. But just know that you don't have to go through this alone." I smile at him reassuringly and squeeze his hand. "I'm here. I'm here for you."

    He stares at our hands for a little while longer, as if he doesn't know what to make of it.

"You're crazy if you still want to hang out with me after what I've told you," he whispers.

"Hey," I murmur. "If it's anyone that deserves a second chance, it's you. I've seen the good in you, Jackson. I've seen it when you're with me and I've seen it when you're with Eden too. You're not a monster, Jackson. You're human. Just like me. Just like Eden. And there's nothing wrong with that at all. Really."

    "I guess," he croaks out. "But fuck, it's not as easy as it sounds. Second chances are hard."

I nod in understanding. "I know that," I say, "I know it's not going to be easy. But... you won't go through it alone. I'll be here for you."

"Yeah." He nods with more certainty now. "Yeah, okay."

    I smile at Jax again, letting him know that I'll be there for him. I lean into him, letting his arm slide around me, allowing the crashing of the waves lull the both of us into a quiet and gentle night, where the last of our walls have crumbled and our hearts are left open and ready to be mended again.

    ஜஜஜஜஜஜ

A/N: JAIRE IS MAKING MUCH PROGRESS. YAY! How are we feeling about them now? GOOD? SPECTACULAR? SHITTY? Let me know in the comments section below!

The next two chapters is gonna be lots of... fun. (; (; (; (; I can't wait to share it with you guys! The next Two Fridays will be on Christmas and New Years Day so Chapter 19 & 20 will be my Christmas gift to you.

I have another present installed for you guys much soon so be sure to stay tuned for that! WOOOO Santa Claudia has come with many gifts for her Dia-Hards!

Next update: Friday (a.k.a Christmas Day)

Love, Claudia.