Song for the chapter : Perfectly Imperfect by Ada.

***********
~Kunmi~

It was Aminah parent's anniversary and I was supposed to be dressing up for the party but I just couldn't bring myself to stand up from my bed and get dressed. Aminah had sent their address immediately after our conversation on Thursday and she had even sent a reminder this morning.

But now, I don't even know what I was feeling about attending the party again. Mom had gone to an owanbe, Dad was on one of his numerous business trips, my younger brother was getting tutored downstairs in our balcony and I could hear the teacher explaining BODMAS to him and Mayowa was gone, she had traveled. Our parting wasn't like that of original sisters. I only followed them to the airport out of courtesy and our hug was just there; it didn't look like a hug between sisters who wouldn't see each other any time soon.

My bedside wall chimed 3pm and I knew I had to really start getting ready if I was going to attend the anniversary.

Attend the party oo. Attend it and go and disgrace yourself.

I sat up on my bed and grabbed my head with both hands. No, No, Nooo. Not today. I can't listen to this voice today.

I stood up from my bed and walked to my closest, briefly glancing through it and looking for a gown to wear. Something...

There's no clothe you'll wear that will cover your flaws. Just stay back and avoid embarrassing yourself.

I shook my head vehemently at that voice. I'm going to attend this party. I can't disappoint Aminah like that. She's been nothing but friendly towards me. The least I could do was to honor her invitation.

With that in mind, I picked a short pink gown and stripped myself of the bumshort and crop top I wore and I entered the bathroom to take a shower.

But do you really know what you're doing? You really want to attend a party.

A party? It's like you're just putting yourself out there for people to make fun of you.

I ignored all the voices in my head as I scrubbed myself clean of sweat and dirt. When I entered my room again, my phone chimed and the screen lit up. It was a message from Aminah.

Babe, hope you're already coming?

I wanted to type a reply but her my fingers were wet and I kept messing the letters up. In the long run, I gave up and went to my mirror to dress up.

Kunmi, you're really going? And what will you do there? It's a party for crying loud sake! There's nothing for you to do there.

I wore the gown and sat in front of the mirror to apply the little makeup I know how to.

But wait, how exactly are you going to act there? Dance or will you just sit around in a party and allow people to know how boring you are?

Just stay at home.

You're going to feel left out there anyway.

Who knows if Aminah invited you by mistake?

Stay at home.

Sleep.

Eat.

Sleep.

Eat.

I messaged my temple, feeling the start of an headache.

Should I really just skip the party? What if I make a mistake? What if I do something there that'd......?

Ehn ehn. That's the spirit. Just skip it.

You're a loner anyway.

Skip it! Skip it! Skip it!

I put my forehead on the vanity table. I couldn't even distinguish from the voices anymore. Maybe they were right. Attending a party was not my calling.

**********
'Aunty Kunmi. Auntie mi..'

I heard someone calling my name from faraway and I tried to open my eyes.

'Aunty Kunmi, come and make pancake for me.'

'Go and ask Mayowa.'

I replied the voice, still very sleepy.

'But she's not around na.'

I did not reply him again as I started to drift to the dreamland. I was about to fade off completely when he started pulling my legs.

'Aunty Kunmi na. If Aunty Mayowa was around, she'd have answered me.'

I opened my eyes instantly and I puffed out air. I knew my brother meant no harm but I just couldn't help but to overthink it. It was like that whole comparison issue all over again.

'Okay. Okay. I'll help you make it. Go and wait for me downstairs.'

He shouted and jumped excitedly before walking out of my room. I started to smile but the smile died instantly when I realized where I was supposed to be.

Aminah's party.

What then was I doing on my bed, in my room?

You talked yourself out of going, remember?

Oh God! I sat up on my bed and face palmed myself. I picked my phone from beside me only to see six mixed calls from Aminah. I had put my phone on silence after the voices in my head and mine became one and I convinced myself that there's no reason for me to attend the party.

Oh God!

She must have really expected you. Now, look at what you've done.

Oh No, what have I done?

You've successfully hurt the feelings of a girl who genuinely likes you.

Shit! Shit!! Shit!!!

I have to look for a tangible excuse to give her. She's been nothing but nice and caring to me since we met and now, look what I've done.

'Aunty Kunmi, I'm waiting oo.'

My brother shouted from downstairs and his voice echoed through the whole house.

What do I do with Aminah now?

***********
~Adam~

'So why did you guys miss Aminah's party again?'

Kunle asked, no he did not ask, he yelled and it was obvious that he was angry. That was a first because Kunle never gets angry, at least not towards Sophia. We were in the Visual Arts studio; I was in the visual art studio with Sophia who was posing in front of the canvas as if I was drawing her even though I wasn't. It was then Kunle entered and slammed the door. Sophia jumped at the sound. She started to say something but Kunle cut her off;

'So why did you guys miss Aminah's party again?'

'I had an impromptu shoot.'

He turned angrily to her.

'You always have an impromptu shoot.'

'Well, you can't blame me, that's my job.'

She answered plainly, her voice masking Jr disbelief at the fact that Kunle was practically yelling at her. I watched as Kunle opened his mouth to reply but he closed it again. He was obviously exasperated.

'And Adam, what happened? Did you also have an impromptu shoot?'

I started to smile but the smile disappeared instantly at his expression. They were shooting daggers at me.

'You know how I am with parties. I'm not really a huge fan of parties and........'

'You're not a huge fan of parties? And yet you never miss Sophia's parties or mine.'

I dropped the brush in my hands.

'But you really can't compare Aminah to you guys. We are.....'

'And that's the problem. That's the problem. You guys are not treating Aminah like you should. And that girl has been nothing but nice to you guys. It's like.......'

He trailed off before he slumped his shoulders and he sat down on one of the stools.

'It's like you guys don't like her. I don't know why you're not even trying to know her. You put on a wall anytime she is around. Especially Sophia.' He turned to her. 'You always go Fifty shades quieter whenever Aminah is around. Did she do anything to offend you? You ain't even interested in getting to know her. At least, do this for my sake, you're friend and this is a girl that makes me happy.'

The room fell into silence and I was sure if a pin dropped, we'd hear the sound. I turned to look at Sophia who had her wall to the back and her arms crossed over her chest. Her expression was blank but I could notice a movement inside her mouth. It almost looked like she was chattering her teeth together.

'Of course not. How would she offend me? We don't even talk at all before you guys happened.'

'You make it sound like an accident happened.'

Kunle replied her, his tone matching her quiet tone. I stared at the both of them for a while before I cleared my throat, gaining their attention.

'We're sorry. We did not mean to hurt her feelings.'

He crossed his arms over his chest.

'Well, you hurt her feelings pretty bad and mine too. What kind of friendship is that if you guys don't like my girlfriend?'

'And we already apologized. Adam said we're sorry. Just let it go.'

'As if I can even stay angry at you guys.'

Sophia burst into laughter.

'See your life oo. And you were acting like one Mancho when you came in.'

Kunle dragged a long hiss before he joined her in laughing. My lips stretched into a smile as I picked up my brush to continue what I was drawing.

Giiiiiiing

Kunle did not even wait to the bell to finish ringing before he stood up hurriedly from the stool.

'Yeah. There goes the bell for lunch break. Let's go.'

'God! See how excited you are about lunch. I'm starting to think that's the only reason why you're attending school.'

Sophia replied and they both started walking towards the door, oblivious to the fact that I was still drawing.

'Well, you're right? Isn't she, Adam's?'

I barely heard what he said as I was trying to get an angle right. My lack of response must have made them stop because I couldn't hear their footsteps anymore.

'And why are you still sitting? Did you not hear the bell?'

'Don't worry guys. I'll just skip lunch. I have to.......'

I did not get to finish my statement as they both grabbed me by my hands from either side and they started dragging me towards the door.

*********

It was only the four of us for lunch. Kunmi was absent and I wondered fleetingly what the reason was. She'd eaten with us every other day from that first time. Aminah was quiet too; in fact she was dangerous quiet and it was wierd because Aminah was never quiet.

'Help me pass your table water.'

Kunle asked her. He was obviously trying to dispel the awkwardness and silence because his bottle water was directly in front of him, untouched.

'You have yours in front of you.'

She replied him quietly, her voice lacking the vigrance it always seems to have. She was not making eye contact with anybody and all her attention was focused fully on the food in front of her.

I exchanged a glance with Sophia who cleared her throat almost immediately.

'Aminah, I'm sorry I missed your party. I actually did have an impromptu shoot.'

'You always have an impromptu shoot.'

From the corners of my eyes, I could make out Sophia biting her lips to save herself from retorting.

'I should probably have cleared my schedules for your party since you told me first but don't worry, I'll make it up to you.'

Aminah still did not say anything. I watched as Sophia exchange a glance with Kunle who merely urge her to go on. As for me, I'll just be an onlooker.

'Your birthday is before exams, right? Trust me, I'll be sure to attend your party.'

It seems like that finally piqued Aminah's interest because she looked up and gave Sophia a skeptical look.

'Are you sure?'

'100%. You don't even have to invite me, I'm inviting myself.'

I watched as Aminah's face dissolved into a huge smile and a fleeting thought crossed my mind; Why is she this interested in getting into Sophia's good book when the later had always acted stucked up and nonchalant to her? And why was Sophia that nonchalant to Aminah?

'And you Adam..'

Aminah turned her attention to me and I raised my hand in mock surrender.

'Sophia already apologized on our behalf and besides, we're definitely attending your birthday.'

Birthday that you know you won't attend.

'Sophia spoke for herself and you should speak for yourself too. You're always going 'we, we and us' whenever Sophia is involved. I wonder how long it'll take you guys to start dating.'

'I keep telling them oo.'

'Sophia is just like a baby sister to me.'

I replied and immediately glanced at Sophia. I was lowkey expecting her sassy reply; like her telling me I'm like a grandpa but she said nothing. She only raised her fork silently to her mouth.

The 50 shades quieter Sophia was back.

***********
~Kunmi~

'Are you going to keep avoiding me?'

I looked up at Aminah's voice and I instantly felt guilty. It was Wednesday and after, I'd unceremoniously missed her party on Saturday without giving her heads-up, I'd avoided her like a plague. I should have apologized or said something immediately but instead, I allowed it to drag on and I still did not know what to say.

I cleared my throat so as she pulled a chair closer to mine. It was Government period but out teacher wasn't around so we had the time to ourselves.

'I... I.... Wasn't. I wasn't...'

I stuttered, I still couldn't think of any tangible thing to say. She only sat back on the chair with her arms crossed over her chest.

'I was really worried about you. I thought you might have lost your way or something and I kept calling but you did not pick up.'

I was surprised by how cool she sounded. I actually she would pick offence.

'I'm sorry. Something urgent came up and my phone was on silence all through.'

'No wahala, I'm not really angry. I still have lots of parties to invite you too.'

Parties? With that plural marker behind it. The prospect is terrifying. Parties???

I plastered a smile on my face and tried to look excited.

'And you must attend all of them.'

I stretched my smile.

'Definitely'

'And yes, that reminds me, what class did you intend to choose for your P.E?'

I paused. I've not actually thought of it like that. I suck a lot at anything physical training or whatnot. In my former school, P.E was only for fun but from the looks of things, Cresent High was too serious about it.

'I've not picked any yet. I'm still thinking about which one to choose.'

'Why don't you choose swimming? That's what I do and you'll enjoy it.'

Swimmimg? I've been in a swimming pool for exactky four times in my life and the last time was over a year ago.

'Swimming? I don't even think I remember how to swim or even anything about it. I'll just choose track or something.'

She moved forward on the chair.

'Track is no fun. You'll enjoy our swimming classes and besides, I'd be there to help you if have any problem.'

I stared at her, wondering if she can get any nicer and weighing my opinions.

'I'll think about it and let you know.'

She muttered something that got muffled with the sound of the bell and I couldn't make it out. She stood up Pronto.

'That's the bell for lunch break, we should go.'

Then she grabbed my hands and started pulling me towards the door. She stopped and turned back when we got to the door.

'Adams, are you not coming for lunch?'

The later who was reading a book looked up in alarm and his eyes met mine for the briefest second before he looked at Aminah.

'Of course, I'm coming. I'll meet you guys in the cafeteria in a minute.'

Aminah nodded and we resumed our walk to the cafeteria.

Social Anxiety......

One of the many forms of mental health problems that we often tend to overlook. When you have social anxiety, you fear having a change in your patterned life, you fear going out, making friends, going to crowded places, attending parties, talking to a crowd and the list goes on and on. Most people start having social anxiety when they become a teenager and some of the researched causes of social anxiety are overbearing parents, bullying and trauma.

I guess we can attribute Kunmi's social anxiety to her mother's behavior and some other things she might have had to deal with that we don't know yet. Social Anxiety often leads to low self esteem, sensitivity to critism and all that. Social Anxiety makes you feel like you'll definitely make a mistake if you do something, it makes you feel like oeioke will judge you. It's actually one of the worst mental health issues out there but we always overlook it.

Social Anxiety is not being introverted. Social Anxiety is not shyness. And if social Anxiety is not probably maintained, it may lead to depression but please that's not even the discussion for today. Let's save the gist till some other time.

Kunmi did not go to the party oo. Some of you expected her to just dress up and attend a party, it's not that easy. Infact, it's not easy at all when you have Social Anxiety. Normal lifestyle is extremely hard for people with Social Anxiety. While you may feel like it's no biggie to dress up for a party, for them, it's like the world's hardest task.

So sorry for the late update. I don't even know the head I used to write this chapter. I just wasn't feeling myself and it's all because of BTGOL. If you know how many times I wrote Jade as Kunmi and Adams as Uthman, you'll just start laughing 😩💔💔💔😭😂.

Hmmm. I don't even know what to say. I think I have BTGOL Anxiety 😭😭😭😩😩💔💔😢😢😭.

Anyway, Sophia apologized, like seriously?

See you guys on Monday. Hopefully, we'll have an Adams and Kunmi moment 🤔🤔🤔

Don't forget to click on the star button below.

Love you 😍