I really enjoyed your story, adelinewu2207 ! I am still impressed with how you put your realistic characters in realistic situations, rather than make it all seem like happenstance. I hope that my feedback and rating helps to improve your work!

Want an in-depth analysis? Check out my review below!

Blurb: While it was one of your lower ratings, I thought your blurb was great except for one thing: I read 23 chapters but never saw the drama that was implied. I imagine the drama comes with the arrival of her parents, but I couldn't help but feel confused when I saw that there was more to come. I think this has to do with pacing, which I'll touch on below! The other note was that it could be a little long, and the questions at the end could potentially be cut out. Rhetorical questions are definitely a stylistic thing, but I think some of them are already in the reader's mind. I would cut out the first one, and perhaps shorten the second. A proper blurb should bring those questions out to the reader regardless but the question you pose begs the question of "Will she keep him or trash him?"

Plot/Concept: Your concept is, admittedly, built off a few well-known tropes. Sexy CEO takes a liking to a seemingly nobody. What I love about your story is that you pull those off. She isn't just some teen girl on the street. She's a full-grown woman with a background and a life and is in a realistic situation where she could meet such a man. your plot falls short in that it feels like there can be some slow points or missed points. For example, her relationship with Mal could be developed in terms of why he hates Galan, while her relationship with her history or parents is being completely ignored. And, while I do love the work out scenes, I wish they could move the plot forward *just* a little more. Perhaps mentioning her history or discussing Mal's feelings. Things that tie all of the scenes together.

Pacing: The pace of your story is good, but as I mentioned in Plot, there are some scenes that drag a little just because they could be exploring more. I also feel as if the meeting with her parents could be happening sooner, though I understand you want Gloria and Galan to be close before the dark secrets come out. Speaking of secrets, I wish readers had a little more insight without giving everything away. For reference, my story is about a third longer than yours, but is only 27 chapters. So I think scenes could be cut or combined to really bring in what seems to be the important part of the plot: the wedge that will come between them.

* This is me thought dumping. I didn't think the pacing was bad! I just wish I had gotten to read more of the dark drama that is lurking and referenced in the summary, but am slightly confused the secrets haven't been alluded to or brought up in the current chapters. *

Character Development: While I do love the characters, I feel as if Gloria or Galan could be changing a little more, but in hindsight, since there's more plot to be revealed, it would make sense for that change to happen after the secrets are revealed. So I'm a little stuck. I think, though, I'd like to see Gloria more confident after Galan starts making his opinions about her clear (she doubts herself even though he is head over heels for her). I'd also like to see her using her power and independence that she had before meeting Galan come out a little more whenever he's possessive. You did touch on it a little in CH. 23, but I left some more information in my notes! As for Galan, I thought he hadn't changed much, but I would love to see him more humbled if she does start using her power and strength more! I want their relationship to be healthy and equal, but again, that may happen after the secrets. As for Mal, I wish I knew more of his friend relationship with Gloria and what he's doing and why he hates Galan, but it doesn't have to take on too big of a role.

Writing Style: I love how witty and sharp and mature your writing is. I like that you don't hold back when writing the dialogue and internal thoughts Gloria has, but I do find myself wishing for more descriptions. Diners and shopping and first dates are rife with emotions and sounds and smells, and I think those would help to ground readers a bit more!

TOAST LEVEL:

Overall, due to the fun writing style but yet-to-see drama, I'm giving Healing Melody a rating of Well Toasted!

For the author: If you would like the notes I took for your review (chapter notes, grading), please DM me.