-multitudes , your story was beautifully written and tackeled some difficult topics! Short and sweet, like a small bar of dark-chocolate, your story nailed some things, but missed on a few others. When I boil it down to the basics, I got the feeling that I wasn't truly attached to the characters in the story. I think taking a step further in character development could help to deepen reader's connections to TGWDI, as well as make your story more than just food for thought on life and death.

Want an in-depth analysis? Check out my review below!

Blurb: While some prefer burbs short and to the point, your blurb remains a little too vague for readers to truly know what they're getting themselves into. I think using a snippet of some of the key things you've described (madness, pain, beauty) would help to give readers a sense of your great writing style. As it stands, I thought I was about to read a much different and more shallow story, and, without punctuation, I also wasn't confident of your (undoubtably great) writing abilities. I think vague can be good for blurbs, but this seems to be a little too vague for me personally.

I also think it is imperative that you add a warning to your story. Since it takes on self harm, rape, and suicide, readers who are struggling to recover can be alarmed and may go down a dark path. While this is what Infinity prefers, I think it's best to add in a warning. I know the story is set at Mature, but, again, Mature may mean explicit sex scenes to some people.

Plot/Concept: I enjoyed the concept of the story quite a bit, and didn't find that anything you said was ever cheesy or over-the-top (like 'deep' teen stories can be). I still have no idea why Amanda was included, though. I imagined she would find Infinity and make her life better, or even try to help Infinity. Instead she just disappeared. I think that could have been either cut out or more developed to give her story more meaning (that people should be better at understand others).

Pacing: I was, at first, surprised at how quickly things were shifting, but eventually got a hold of it. I think some time could have been spent on Amanda, or on Inifinity perhaps trying to love her family or spend time with her parents, but since that ties in with Character Development, I'll discuss it further below! Overall, I thought the pacing was really well done except for those two notes, and I'm nitpicky.

Character Development: The arc of Infinity's story is beautiful and tragic, but we are mostly told about her story. I think adding in any information on how she had previously attempted to be happy with her parents would show that she once had hope and light, but that was squashed quickly upon realizing she would never recieve Love from her parents. This would also make her ending more tragic, as it gives readers a sense that this girl was once bright. I also think the end decision (the epiphany) was quite fast, and I wondered if anything had brought it on. Whether she were writing a scene in her story or thinking back to an ineraction she could have had with Amanda, or the like. I would like to see more into her mind in that final chapter, especially since it's her final chapter and the biggest moment. Other than that, I think you did a great job of showing her character through the narrator.

Writing Style: Your writing style was brilliant, and that's all I really have to say about it. I did wish the narrator was a little more... more. If that makes sense. It seemed like the narrator, the characters, everyone and everything, was trudging through the story very sad like. I think giving the narrator more character, or uncharacteristically pessimistic or tender while describing Infinity, since she is the key to the whole story, would bring it to life more.

TOAST LEVEL:

Overall, due to the beautiful writing but need for slight tweeks, I'm giving The Girl Who Discovered Infinity a rating of Nearly Perfectly Toasted!

For the author: If you would like the notes I took for your review (chapter notes, grading), please DM me.