Seen it all

"It is so much safer not to feel, not to let the world touch me"                                    - Sylvia Plath

• Inara •

We spoke a little more before he looked at the clock on the wall
"Shouldn't you be home by now?" He asked
I looked too. Half eleven

"No, my parents are away for the week. I'm all yours" I joked, only to find him looking at me with an expression I couldn't decipher
"What?" I smiled
"Nothing" he said, looking down to the milkshake

"Oh come on, it's one drink, it won't cost you a game" I said
He sighed, but began to drink it
"Thank you" I said.

•

We'd stayed in the diner until closing time
And drove back to my house at 1am
But as he pulled up outside, he seemed... hesitant?
Like he didn't want me to leave
Like he didn't want to go home?

• Kane •

"Kane, are you alright?" She asked, placing her hand on my arm
I looked down at it
"Yeah" I said casually
I wasn't going to tell her I dreaded going home

That I'd do anything to prolong this so I didn't have to see dad.

She was silent for a moment
"Do you fancy coming in? We can watch a movie or something?" She suggested
And I saw it, the confused understanding in her eyes
"Sure" I said, making her smile again

That's all she did
Smile. Be nice.
She was a good person
One who didn't deserve shit off people like Tommy
One who deserved to be treated rightly.

I followed her inside
Her house was nice. Unlike mine
She had a warm personality, family photos everywhere
Whereas I had broken doors and smashed glass

She had pillows and throws.
I had pills and bottles
My dad had broke our house down to nothing

No one could see from the outside
But inside was... hell

"What do you want to watch?" She asked, sitting on the sofa
I sat beside her
"Anything" I said
Anything was better than going home

And I sat beside her, in a warm living room, on a comfortable sofa, I didn't want to leave
As her perfume surrounded me, I felt myself relax
I didn't care what we watched because this was already better than anything I had at home
She was better than home.

"Alright, prepare to be amazed Vallow" she said, sitting back as she skimmed the channels

•

And half an hour into the movie... she was asleep
Which didn't bother me
The film was actually interesting
And if it meant avoiding home then I'd take it

She groaned in her sleep when gunfire went off on the tv.
And she shifted, resting her head against my arm.

I didn't move her. I didn't... I didn't want to wake her
That was it.

So I left her there
I left her resting against my arm.
And eventually. I fell asleep

• Inara •

Everything feels... warm?
I opened my eyes, confused why I saw my living room and not my bedroom
I lifted my head, off of... Kane's chest
We were lying on the sofa
He was beneath me

Fuck.
And he was looking at me

"Good morning" I said
"Yeah it is" he said, hints of a smile tugging at his cheeks
I was slowly figuring this man out
I was understanding what made him happy

Annoying people
And when he could make me feel nervous
I pushed myself up, trying to get off of him with as least damage as possible.

But he groaned
"Sorry" I said, standing up
"It's fine" he strained, sitting up

• Kane •

"Sorry" she said nervously, trying to get up
Sitting right on top of me
At just the right angle.

At... the wrong angle
"It's fine" I said, sitting up so she didn't see the way it... affected me
I didn't hang out with girls
I didn't... do anything with girls

Her sitting on me like that was like feeding the hungry
"I'm going to go shower" she mumbled, trailing up the stairs.

I got up, my bones aching
I slowly made my way up the stairs after her
Her bedroom was... neat
Tidy and... sweet
She had a bookshelf, a desk
A huge bed
Blue sheets

Her room was once again everything mine wasn't
The water was already running in her bathroom
So I scanned over her room
Over what books she reads
What jewellery scattered her desk
The clothes that peeked through the wardrobe

• Inara •

One step forward two steps back
Closer as friends and then I fall asleep on him.
I'm such an idiot
I turned the shower off, wrapping my towel around me
I didn't want to make him wait too long

But as I drifted back into my room.
My heart jumped out of my chest
Because Kane Vallow sat beside my bed
Arms flexed on the arms of the chair as he looked at me
And I suddenly felt way too conscious of myself
"What are you doing up here?" I asked, tightening my towel

"Got bored, wanted to see how the other half live" he said, looking me up and down
The other half?
"Well can... can you wait downstairs? So I can change?" I asked

He chuckled
"You're my girlfriend Petal, I've seen it all remember?" He said, standing up
"Very funny" I said sarcastically
Before I stopped
He was actually joking with me again.

He didn't move
"Can I shower?" He asked
"Oh uh... Sure" I said, stepping out of the way
He strode past me, before something caught my eye

Clothes. At the end of my bed
"Did you..."
"Did you pick my clothes out?" I asked
He shrugged
"Told you, I was bored" he reiterated

"Besides, I'm your boyfriend, can't I pick your clothes out once in a while?" He drawled out as he pulled his shirt off, before he shut the bathroom door
His back was just... god

I'll give him some credit
He picked well.

• Inara's Outfit •

But the thoughts that came with all this were... confusing. And overwhelming

Did he look in my underwear drawer?
How much of my wardrobe did he look through?
And the thought of him in my shower was just... too much to bear
I focused on getting ready. Trying to rid my head of thoughts of Kane.

Kane and his shirtless back.

• Kane •

I grabbed her shampoo
She wouldn't care. I guess...
The entire room smelt like her.

• Inara •

I decided to wait downstairs, I didn't want to make him feel awkward when he came out
But when he did come down, it was awkward anyway
Because he just looked at me

"Shouldn't we be going? Aren't you going to change?" I asked
"No time" he said, heading to the door
Before he held it open, looking back to me
"Come on then" he said
I rushed out, I didn't want to get on his bad side

And after last night and this morning I... it was too much
I walked out, as he followed me to his car
"You look good" he said, getting in the car
I stopped for a moment
I look good?

I smiled. He was... sweet.

• Kane •

When we got to school, Inara rushed off before I could get a word in
She was red in the face, flushed and nervous
This morning must have really got to her

"Last nights clothes?" Keon asked from behind me
I turned round, seeing Tommy by his car with Carden
"Yeah" I said shortly
He smiled
"Ooh you dark horse" he teased
"Shut up" I said, watching Tommy's glare before he walked off annoyed

Koen watched him too, before he lowered his voice
"So did you actually..."
"No" I said
"Why not? You have to lose it at some point" he laughed

"Yeah, and I will... but not with the girl I'm pretending to date" I said
"Well there's no other girls in your life mate" he said
I know. That was the point

My life is... a wreck
My family is a wreck
I don't want to bring anyone into that.
Especially not Inara
She was too... good.

•

She avoided me all day.
Even at lunch, she barely spoke to me
And at the end of the day, she hesitantly approached my car and barely looked me in the eye
"I uh... I don't need a lift, me and Ivy are hanging out so..." she mumbled

I nodded, grabbing the back of her head and kissing her forehead
"Alright, call me later yeah" I said
She looked up, before looking around
Tommy was no where in sight

"Okay" she said unsurely, walking away
"She gone off you?" Koen asked
"Shut up" I grumbled, getting in my car
Only for him to follow me
"What?" He asked
"If you're not with her then you can hang out with me" he said

I sighed
"Fine"

• Inara •

"He was just waiting here?" Ivy asked surprised
"Yes"
"And he picked your clothes?" She went on
"Yes" I said again
"And then he showered-"
"Yes Ivy!" I said louder

"And now I just... don't know what to do. I don't know what to say" I explained
"Don't say a thing, he waited outside your bathroom? Picked your clothes and then showered in your room? He totally wants to fuck you" she said

"He does not" I said immediately
"He does! The way he fucking kisses you! I mean earlier? Inara, Tommy wasn't even there! No one was there!" She pointed out
I know. It was confusing
One minute we kiss and it feels... real

And the next he reminds me how it's all a show

"Just drop it, please, you're making my head hurt more than Kane does" I groaned
"Fine. What about tomorrow? What are we doing?" She asked
"Nothing" I said
"Nothing? It's your birthday" she said, frowning at me

"Yes and it's also just another day Ivy" I said
"Another d- you're eighteen" she turned to me, setting her curler down
"We've got school. We've got to watch the football practice, it doesn't matter" I argued

It was just another day.
It was nothing special.

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