Chuck zipped straight to his first date. He was more than ready to make a connection with someone, but his motor-beak quite wasn't. He began speaking a million words per minute.

“Hey-a! Chuck's my name, speed's my game! Do you like games? I would say yes because you just entered the love lottery and guess what? You won, 'cuz here I am!"

His date was left speechless... literally.

Tweet-tweet!

“Hi!" Bomb said to his date, Ella.

“Hi," she giggled.

Bomb shifted in his seat as they stared at each other awkwardly. He wasn't the best at dating in any way.

“I eat dirt," he confessed. Ella raised an eyebrow in confusion, and Bomb began to laugh, spitting out some dirt.

“Oh! Ew..."

Tweet-tweet!

Red, meanwhile, refused to leave her table. She was avoiding the singles at all costs, but it didn't help that they would keep coming to her.

“Hola, mi amor," a suave bird greeted. “¿Tú vienes aqui menudo?"

Red had no idea what he said, so she laughed nervously.

“Yeah, I'm not here for the whole speed dating horror show thing going on--"

“Perhaps a little mating dance will persuade you," he purred. Red's “date" began moving in a way she could only assume was dancing. But she was left more horrified than allured.

Tweet-tweet!

Chuck was still talking, but moved on to the next table. He was determined to find a mate, but annoyed his date immediately.

“So I'd love to hear a little bit about you. What's your favorite sign? This one's mine!"

Chuck laughed as he held up a sign that said: CAUTION: JAZZ HANDS.

Tweet-tweet!

Bomb sat with Willow, who was immediately bored out of her mind as Bomb explained his taste for dirt.

“You know, the flavor can vary greatly, depending on the minerals in the dirt. I can tell which kind of worms have crawled through there, or what sort of, like, roly-polies used it, and raised their family in.."

Well, at least he's cute, Willow thought, resisting the urge to yawn.

Tweet-tweet!

Red's next date was just plain confused.

“Uh, are you mad?" he asked.

“No," she answered flatly.

“Well, I don't know, you look mad."

“Well, I'm not," Red said, letting out a fake laugh.

“Yeah, you know what? Maybe it's your eyebrows."

“My eyebrows are fine," Red insisted, looking away. “It's just the way I look."

“It's like you've got resting bird face."

“Oh yeah? Well, that's not a thing."

Tweet-tweet!

Red decided to head for a bar to avoid any more bachelors. Exhausted, she groaned and dropped her head on the countertop. Speed dating had been just as horrible as she had anticipated.

“Rotten grapes, I see," a feminine voice piped in.

“No, I'm just having a rough night," Red said.

“Ah, you're having trouble finding someone. Good thing I have a trick for that."

“Do I have to ask?" Red muttered, turning her head to find another female bird with silver feathers, long braids, and large, green eyes sitting in the stool next to her.

“Technically, you just did," she replied as Red sat back up. “I'll give you a demonstration. First, tell me your favorite food. Don't think, just answer from your gut. Go!"

“Uh, I don't know... Toast?" Red answered, confused. The wide-eyed bird wrote it down on a sheet labeled “Compatibility Test."

“Favorite color?" she asked before laughing at herself. “Stupid question, red, duh! If you could have one superpower, what would it be?"

“Um, to disappear. Like, you know, right now."

“Er-kay," she said, a little worried about Red's jibe. “What do you do in your free time?"

“You know, I mean, I don't really have any free time," Red stammered. “I kinda, you know, protect Bird Island from being attacked, and that's a full-time gig, so, yeah..."

“Oh, I thought I heard something about a truce."

Red laughed nervously. “No, a truce? No. That's not gonna last--"

“Well," she said cheerfully, “you'll have a lot more free time now that nobody needs you anymore, so..."

This girl really struck a nerve in Red.

“Okay, we are done here," she said as she got up and walked away from the bar.

The wide-eyed bird was curious.

“Are you afraid to talk about your feelings?!" she called out, catching the attention of other birds.

“Ugh! Just because I don't want to talk about them doesn't mean I'm afraid!"

She followed Red as she took some more notes. “Okay, so avoids personal questions, unusually angry..."

“Talks to herself," Red added.

“Self esteem issues," she continued.

“Uh, doesn't answer her own questions, left-handed, probably a witch..."

“Carry the one, round it up, and to answer your question, you and I are definitely incompatible!"

She held up the sheet of paper and the test score read: 23% INCOMPATIBLE.

“Oh, and you needed a form to tell you that?" Red scoffed. “Okay. Well, I hope you have better luck annoying an actual guy."

“I don't need luck. I have a formula." She then held up a pale pink wing tip. “Sisters?"

“Yeah, no. Have a nice life!"

“Have fun being alone!"

“Oh, I will!"

With that, Red stormed out of the restaurant.

“Oh, there she goes like a ship in the night," Pinky sighed. “No rudder, no purpose, no crew... Well, have a good night!"

As Red made her way through the village, she noticed Alex concealing her poster with one that read “TRUCE." The sight of it made her head fall and she trudged home. Red hoped no one noticed her tears falling, she hated looking weak (especially around males).

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

That night, in her house, a depressed Red lied on the floor next to the stove and caught fresh popcorn as it popped out of the pan and into her mouth. She added a little melted butter and a pinch of salt before biting into it.

Red looked around her home and noticed a framed article from the Bird Island Beat titled “Our Hero: Total Loser Now Beloved." In the bottom was a picture of her as a hatchling with the other kids making fun of her.

“Eyebrows! Loser! Freak!"

They don't need you... Red heard her own voice whisper in her head. She actually believed that voice was right, and shut her eyes in misery. It wasn't like the answer to all her problems would just come knocking.

Red's moping was interrupted by a sudden knock on the door. She wiped some popcorn off her breast feathers and glared at it. It wasn't really what she had in mind, and she really didn't want to talk to anyone, but it'd be rude not to answer. Letting a not-so-pretty burp out of her greasy beak, she turned her body around, dragged herself to the door, still too depressed to get up, and opened it.

“Helloooo... oh!"

Red's vision was a little blurry from crying for the past fifteen minutes, but the second it cleared up, she screamed and slammed the door. What in Mighty Eagle's name was the King of Piggy Island doing there?!

“Look, Red, I know we've had our differences..." Leonard began.

“Oh, like when you tried to destroy our home, eat our young, get into my feathers?!" Red pressed her back against the door so he wouldn't try anything.

“I come in peace!" he insisted, popping his head through a window. Freaking out, Red grabbed a mirror and smashed it on his face, but the pig remained unfazed. “Ouch."

Red really didn't want Leonard anywhere near her house, let alone inside it, so she pushed him away and blocked the window with a bookcase. Unfortunately, he just pushed the books away with his head.

“Look, I don't wanna see your face any more than you want to see mine..." he tried to explain as Red kept pushing him away. “We're all in danger!"

“Yeah, from you!"

“No, we-- we have a truce! Didn't you get my note? It was on a balloon!"

Red calmed down a bit. “Oh, yeah! That's right, you wanted to talk..."

Before Leonard knew it, Red had him tied up and slammed him against the floor. To keep him from getting loose, she stood on his back.

“This is not how a truce works!" he pointed out.

“Just say what you gotta say, and then get out!" Red shouted, tightening his ropes.

After squealing in pain, Leonard caught his breath before explaining the situation to the female bird.

“Red, we've discovered that there's a third island and they're plotting to destroy us all!"

“A third island?" Red wondered. How was that possible? “Give me one good reason why I should believe you."

“Haven't you noticed any strange objects falling from the sky?" Leonard asked. “Giant balls of ice?"

Red thought about this for a moment. She did remember seeing something the other day when she was hanging out with Chuck and Bomb. There was a giant splash, and while the guys were doing... well, whatever they usually do... Red noticed something in the nearby water. It was too far away to tell, but it looked like a giant chunk of ice...

“Nope. Nothing. Haven't seen anything."

“Well, I have," Leonard claimed, “and I'll show you the proof! Squeal Team Six!"

The last thing Red wanted to see was more pigs breaking into her home, but they burst through the roof, walls, potted plant, and down the stairs.

“What the-- Whoa! Hey! Hey! Hey! Easy! Easy! Stop! Everybody, stop!"

Once the five pigs approached Red and Leonard, one of them held up some photos. Red took them and they left as soon as they came. Suddenly, they heard a toilet flushing and noticed one more pig strutting out the bathroom. He noticed Red and Leonard staring at him and looked down in embarrassment. Suddenly, he felt queasy and, holding onto his own butt, ran back in. Red rolled her tawny-brown eyes and looked at the photos.

“That image in your hand is Eagle Island," Leonard explained, eating popcorn off the floor. “And those are eagles."

“Eagles? How did you get these?"

“From a drone."

“Oh! And do you spy on us with that?"

“Yes."

“So, have you seen me, um...?" Red asked nervously.

“Yes, and let's not talk about it," Leonard replied as she climbed off his back. “Red, I'm really sorry about what I did to you, and I don't expect you to forgive me, but this is bigger than that. We need to put aside our differences and work together..."

“... to save our whole world from being destroyed," Red finished. She looked at the article again, which also showed a picture of her on the day she saved Bird Island. “What we really need... is a hero. I'm in!"

“Wonderful!" Leonard cheered, shifting his body so he could loosen the ropes around him. “We'll have to get a team together."

“Yes, we will. But, hey, I'm in charge," Red declared, standing in front of him heroically.

“Actually, that position's been filled," Leonard boasted. “Booyah!"

“Uh, yeah, by me," Red argued. Teaming up with Leonard wasn't going to be easy, but the way she saw it, it'd be worth it.

Good luck, guys... You're gonna need it.

Live love and prosper. 🖖