I get up a bus, to reach our final destination.

The Millennium park.

Beside the Hoogly river, our journey would end, every Sunday.
We would mostly reach before sunset, and watch the sky turning red, sitting on the 'ghat'. Holding each other's arms.

The bus is almost empty. The few passengers are again gawking at me as if I am a ghost. I check myself in the phone camera. Nope, I look fine still.

Strangely!! 

••

" Ei je dada, ektu sore daran toh! Amar bhalo lage na jokhon keu amar girlfriend er gharer opor chore daaray!
(Hello sir, please distance yourself. I don't like someone hovering over my girlfriend! )"

I pursed my lips to control a smile and covered my mouth with the palm The man who was told this, glared at Agni but said nothing and moved aside.

This was exactly why I hated public transports. Some creeps would climb onto women even when the entire bus was almost empty.

But with Agni along, public transports seemed quite fun. He would not fight with anyone at all, but his sharp yet witty words, and his strong arm around my shoulders would never let a scratch on me.

" Sobai ke dhaak pitiye janate hobe je ami tor girlfriend?? ( Is it necessary to publicly announce that I'm your girlfriend?) "

" As if......!! 
If need be, I'll invite the the Prime Minister to our wedding, so that the entire nation gets to know my girlfriend-turned-wife! "

••

The Millennium park.

I am walking through the canopy. This place too remains crowded, mostly with love birds.
Happy faces around. I am such a misfit.

I slowly and carefully reach the slab we used to sit on, a particular one too close to the river.

My footsteps here again, after one and a half years almost.... 

The place is empty, as usual. Agni had chosen this place because it was less crowded. He used to sing out loud, and I used to join, and no one would stare....

I sit at one corner of the slab, because someone is occupying the other corner.

My eyes are watering.
My journey ends, once again.
I have ultimately reached the end, from where I am ought to return now, to a world.... I no longer belong to, since I met my heartbreaker... 

" I hate you Agnimitra!!!!! "

I shout without caring, as if it is my last chance to.....to shed tears...to hate him.....for breaking my heart so brutally!!!!!!! 

" Kano korli erokom??? Ki peli amake kosto diye?????
(Why did you do this?? What did you get, breaking my heart?) "

I cup my face in my hands and begin sobbing vehemently.

For how long, I don't exactly know.....

" Nothing, Shayara Begum!!!
I got, nothing at all........!!  "

Did I really hear that? I slowly raise my head.

The man who occupied the slab, is facing me now.

My whole body is slowly paralysing! I feel like I am choking!!! 

I spring up, and a wail escapes my throat....

" Agniiii!!!!!!!!  "

Yes, Agnimitra sits before my eyes.

After one and a half years.... 

" I knew you would come Shayara, at least for once, before you get married. And hence, I have been visiting this place regularly for the last week... "

My feet're trembling so hard that I thrash on the slab again.

Am I dreaming??? 

The man who has been reigning my memories for so long, is sitting before me, in bones and flesh.

" I thought you were getting married today itself, but you are....here...before me..... I maybe, miscalculated the....date... " , he was talking slowly.

Agni.... Still the same...
My Agni...
Yes, even after everything, he is still mine.

The same unkempt hair, the same stubble, the same aching smile, the same deep set eyes....
Just that, he no longer feels the same for me!!
He is no longer my lover, but a mere heartbreaker!

Suddenly, I feel a tornado rising inside me. I pounce onto him. And begin slapping him, as if letting every ounce of hatred that filled every corner of my soul for the last one and a half years, out onto the man himself.

Like an accused who has just surrendered himself, Agni doesn't even protest. I keep on draining myself, until I'm utterly tired...

" Miscalculated....right!! You moron, you bloody creep!!! Don't you see I'm dressed in a complete wedding attire??? Don't you!!?? You sick, you leech, you damned heartbreaker..
I.... I feel like slitting your throat...

I am getting married in a few hours, you bustard!!!!! "

Agni slowly places his hand on my back, as I almost collapse on the stone beside him. I am panting, I'm gasping for breath, and he's holding me...once again...after one and a half years... 

" Why did you do this to me Agni???
Why did you disappear suddenly, leaving behind everything, and how come no one knew where you went?? If you were so afraid of tying a knot with me, you could have told me....
Why did you escape?????? "

He smiled slowly, and then spoke in a deep voice.

" I escaped. Because of a thorn, called self respect. Shayara...  "

" Self respect??
Everything Baba said was done and dusted with!! You were living the life you wanted!! I was holding your hand with all my love!! What self respect are you talking of?? "

A long pause.

"  Shayara.....

All my life I've learned only two things.
Capturing the world in a lens.....
And capturing it on a canvas....

What could I do, when, one day, I was left incapable of....either of the two??? 

Shayara, I asked you.... if you are getting married tonight, and you said.... 
Don't I see you dressed as a bride?? 

I don't, Shayara.......

On 27th November, 2016, on my way to the marriage registrar's office, I met with an accident.

When I got back to senses, I could.... no longer see.

I had lost my eyes, completely.  Permanently.

A man who had been living through his eyes, only, could no longer see a thing. My world shattered to pieces.

But I couldn't return to you Shayara....
I was already a misfit for you.

I didn't match your status, your caste, your qualifications...
Now, I didn't want to bind you, with a crippled for life individual, just for the sake of love.... 

I had to withdraw from your life. Be it, as a heartbreaker.

Sayan and Subhankar promised me, they would never let you know.
Subhankar took me to Delhi, where I stay now.
I have a job as an interpreter at a bureaucrat's place. My learning Greek and French, payed after long.... 

I got to know from Sayan, you're getting married. Couldn't resist myself from visiting Kolkata once, but couldn't muster courage enough to meet you...... "

He stopped.

My heart stopped as well.

I.... I could do only one thing.

Hug him. Hug him tighter than someone has ever hugged another.
I don't know what I'm feeling right now, or if at all I am.

When you are stuck by extreme emotional turbulences, the brain stops reacting.

All I want to do now, is kiss his entire face, caress his hair, and wipe the tears off his........eyes..... 

He doesn't see anymore....

My Agni.... doesn't see.... He lost his eyes...

I.... I know I might faint now, lose my last bit of consciousness...

I hold him, and...look deep into his eyes.

I realise after so long, he isn't staring at me....

His brown eyes are focused somewhere else.

Nothing.
The world doesn't matter anymore. Dipping my head into his chest.... I keep sobbing....

And sobbing.....

And.....sobbing......

" Raaste har dafaa, sirf tera pataa, mujhse pooche bhalaa.....

Kyun hai???  "

The End

-----

For the first time, I leave the end for my readers. What does Shayara do after that?? 

It's your choice to decide.

Go ahead.

Penfolk.