He opened his eyes. The first thing he noticed was that the lanterns were on, marking the absence of light from the outside. The next thing that registered was the heavy feeling of a damp cloth on his forehead. With a groan, he plucked it off his face and cast it aside.

"Your Highness," a stern voice disturbed him. He swiveled his neck to let his gaze land on Chi-Sae's form shrouded by the orange glow from the numerous lanterns lining the windows and the doors outside. Why did she have a worried frown on her face, though? "I told you not to go. Look at you now."

The memories flashed back into his mind. Ah. That's why. The meeting stretched onto lunch time and tired him out. Did he collapse again?

"We found you burning up and delirious," Chi-Sae reported. Apparently, Kai-Se had asked the question aloud. "You kept going on about the fire. What do you remember, Your Highness?"

Kai-Se knitted his eyebrows. Fire? Did he think there was a fire in his room? The only place one could burn wood and produce heat was in the kitchens. Why did he think there was a fire? "Strangely nothing," he answered. His voice sounded hoarse and weak to his own failing hearing. Who knew what Chi-Sae and the rest of the world could hear? "How long was I out?"

"A little over five hours," the court lady answered, smoothing her skirt. It was strange why the Emperor allowed a woman to stay by Kai-Se's side for as long as Chi-Sae did but it's not like he could complain or do something about it. "Not early enough for you to consider it as rest."

"I could stay in bed all day and you still wouldn't call it rest, Chi-Sae," Kai-Se said, throwing a little bit of humor in his words. He started to sit up. "I'm fine now."

It registered then that he was still in his clothes—the ones he wore to the meeting this morning. From there, the dried blood stains coating his collar and the wide end of his sleeves glowed bright crimson against the beige robes he wore.

He knitted his eyebrows. Had he thrown up this much blood this time around? This was by far the worst round. Would it be worse tomorrow and the next one after that?

It wasn't like this at the start. If he traced it back, whatever this sickness was stemmed from the time he closed the gate. He could bet his entire inheritance on that theory. Something from the way he sealed the gate with his own magic—if there was something like that inside him—had unleashed this sickness inside him.

It was only then when he started feeling this irreparable fatigue settle in his bones. During his travels back home, he did the best he could to never let it show. As far as Kai-Se was concerned, Nao-Zai hadn't suspected anything. Nor should the soldier.

Then, as soon as he was back in Dangrao, it started showing more signs of flourishing. The first instance he could remember was the one time he was working well into the night and blood dropped from his nose and into the paper he was writing his report in. The report was due the next morning for a meeting he was supposed to present at, so he stuck a towel up his nose and continued.

The next thing he knew, he was being shaken awake by Chi-Sae. When he raised his head from the table, the head court lady actually burst into tears. It was then that he was informed that he was found collapsed against the table with a pool of blood around his head. They thought he hit his head but he knew better. His nose hasn't simply stopped bleeding the whole time he had been unconscious.

And since then, it only got worse. A few weeks down, he had trouble getting out of bed without feeling like his head was being pounded with bricks. Not long after, the chest pains and the coughing started. Now, he could barely step out of his room for long periods of time without dissolving into a useless lump of flesh and bones.

That's why he had spent most of the time he should be resting poring over all the medicinal records in the palace. He would work whenever he could and until he blacked out from the pain and fevers brought about by this sickness. After months of research, he didn't even know what it was.

All he knew was that it sapped his energy and his life faster than a starved horse. How long would it be before said horse could sip nothing more? Nothing worked. Not the potions he secretly made the court physicians brew. Certainly not the hot soups Chi-Sae was forcing him to eat.

How long could Kai-Se hold on to what meager hope he had in curing himself? The Court wouldn't sit idly by, waiting for him to get better. No. They'd be sniffing as soon as they noticed something being wrong with the Crown Prince. If not now, then somewhere down the road. Soon. It was only a matter of time.

"Your fever still hasn't broken. You barely had any sleep last night due to the nightmares and hallucinations. You hadn't eaten anything since yesterday night," Chi-Sae narrowed her eyes at Kai-Se from beside the mattress he was laid in. "Stop saying you're fine. You're obviously not."

Kai-Se frowned. Who made this woman a step higher than he was? What happened to staying out of his way and him staying out of hers? "When I say I'm fine, I'm fine," he hissed. Why was he even angry? Chi-Sae was only concerned for her job and life because she'd face grim consequences if the Crown Prince keeled over on her watch. "I need to head to the library. There's still one book I haven't checked."

He turned to his side and flattened his palm against the soft sheets. Then, he pushed, urging his body to follow. Upright. He needed to be upright. All he succeeded in doing was flop up and down like a fish out of water. Worse, the pain returned in its full glory in his head. The tightness in his chest hadn't really faded since he woke up.

Right. He wasn't fine.

"How much do the others know?" He drew his blanket closer to his chin, curling into himself and looking at every object in his room other than Chi-Sae's piercing glare.

Chi-Sae blew a breath and touched the flower pin at the top of her head. Her own dark hair was braided in simple knots at the base of her neck. It was void of a hair pin, though. That privilege was only awarded to the noble ladies, the princess, and of course, the Queen.

"I don't know how much longer I can hold them off, Your Highness," she admitted. "They're curious and when that happens, all sorts of rumors could come from their lips. I keep track of all the flying words around the palace but, so far, none of them has been about you."

Kai-Se pursed his lips and nodded. Of course, he took great care in ensuring it was that way. But for how long? Words have wings and in a City where the walls have ears and the floor was a farm of traps waiting for him to fall into them, his secrets could spill and it could spill in the worst way possible.

He could be used by the other ruling clans as a justification that their line was cursed by the spirits. Producing a damaged heir could become the greatest sin an imperial dynasty could commit. If anyone vying for the throne found out about this error, this...weakness, then they could use this as a reason to overthrow his father. It would plunge his clan and his family into ruin. Everyone would be doomed because of him.

Maybe it was his delirium talking. Chi-Sae did say his fever still hasn't broken. Maybe all of these fears were just in his head and they had little to no chance of happening. Would it hurt to be careful? Yes. Would it hurt not to? Thoroughly.

"Don't breathe a word about this to my father, got it?" Kai-Se told Chi-Sae who looked at her hands as if she was guilty of something. "I can't have another person to deal with."

"And what about you shouldn't I know?" a new voice said from the door to his room. Kai-Se had never sat up so quickly compared to that moment. The pain in his head was forgotten, replaced with the fear pulsing in his temples and blocking the air from going down his throat.

Because standing at the door to Kai-Se's room was the Emperor himself.

From the thin walls, shadows danced frantically, representing the members of the court in the Butterfly Palace flitting in alarm at the presence of the court from the Jade Palace. Kai-Se gulped, his throat for once cooperating. "Father," he blurted. Quite unhelpful, it seemed.

The Emperor glanced at the guards dressed in red fenhais coupled with lamellar armor posted at the door and jerked his chin to his left—the general direction of the door. The guards bowed and jogged away. Without sparing the sea of robes and black caps another glance, the message was made clear. He wanted everyone out.

Chi-Sae moved to stand up just as the rest of the court of the Butterfly Palace gave her nervous looks on their way off the corridor. The Emperor laid a palm in the air, stopping the court lady in a stance somewhere in the middle of standing and crouching.

"If I am to talk with someone reasonable, it's best you stay," the Emperor said to Chi-Sae. Kai-Se flicked a quick look at the court lady. The Emperor knew the woman, that much was clear. He wasn't treating her as he would a random servant. It's evident Chi-Sae was something else to the Emperor. But...what?

Chi-Sae dropped back to the cushion by Kai-Se's bed, ducking her head as she went. "Of course, Your Majesty," she said, too soft to be taken offense at but resolute enough to be considered respectful.

The Emperor turned to Kai-Se, then, and the insurmountable urge to shirk back from his father's gaze had never been so strong. "You look terrible," was all he said.

Kai-Se snorted. "Right. Thank you, Father," he didn't roll his eyes, though. Scoffing at the highest power in the Xuijae Empire was enough. "Is that all you came here to say?"

"No, I came for something else," the Emperor answered, moving from the door towards the mattress in the middle of the vast room. "I had to see with my own eyes."

Kai-Se threw the blankets away, becoming overly conscious of the fact that his clothes were rumpled and stained with buckets of blood. His face would probably be in a worse state if Chi-Sae hadn't cleaned him up. Maybe.

"Nothing to see here, Father," Kai-Se reasoned, edging out of the bed and stalking towards his desk where the books he has been studying still lay open. And untouched. "Don't worry about this," he said, gesturing at the mess his clothes were in. "I was working on an experiment involving sheep blood."

He was told he was a bad liar but what choice did he make? It's not like he could openly admit to his father he was dying with something he didn't even have a name of.

"You're dying," the Emperor said.

Kai-Se froze. Those two words brought more shivers down his spine more than his sickness did. He shut the last book atop his table and turned to his father, plastering the fakest smile on his face. He had to, or else everything he had sought to protect would come crumbling down.

"What makes you say that, Father?" he said. "Did the rumors reach you? As you can see, I'm fine. I'm not dying."

"She told me," the Emperor inclined his head at Chi-Sae whose ears now turned the color of the Emperor's imperial robes. Red, after all, was a royal color. "Came to the Jade Palace demanding my audience."

Kai-Se whipped to the court lady who fell on her face in prostration. "Forgive me, Your Highness," she screamed at the floor. Her hands, crossed at the knuckles, shook as her forehead touched them. "I had no choice. If we don't do something about it, we'll lose you."

Anger unfurled at the base of his gut. It didn't help the hunger gnawing in his stomach. He should punish her as he saw fit. Maybe he should—

"Don't take it out on the court lady," the Emperor interjected through Kai-Se's thoughts. He stared at his father before realizing his fists were clenched so hard at his sides his wrists started hurting. "I am grateful she grew the horns to defy you and appeal to me."

Kai-Se closed his eyes. What would happen if he slept here and now, avoiding the whole situation? "Well, what are you going to do about it?" he asked, stalking back to his mattress and plopping into it. The Emperor remained standing, hands clasped behind him like how he did every time he talked about something grave and threatening. "Don't ask me why I insisted on not telling you. You know it full well."

The Emperor didn't show any indication that he did, in fact, know it full well. "I know a famed shaman from the mountains of Chaebeon," he said. "Go there and get it checked."

"You're not hearing yourself, Father," Kai-Se pushed the wild strands of dark hair off his forehead. Due to weeks of being preoccupied with everything else, he had forgotten to get it sheared. It now fell to his shoulders in a tangled mess. "Shamans are the last place I would want to go to."

Shaman magic, while drawing straight into the natural force of Shaoryeong, was frowned upon by the Empire. Just the ability to sense a person's korza, or their innate energy, was treated as a curse from the spirits.

Shaoryeong was a sacred place that must be protected. Stealing magic from it, storing it in uncouth items like incense, paper, paint, or books, and casting it on fellow humans (or creatures) was a direct violation of the peace treaty granted by the first ancestral spirits to the primordial humans. Disobeying that treaty meant disparaging the ancient protection placed by the spirits upon Xuijae. Without that protection, the Empire would be vulnerable to attacks from all over. It was because of that treaty that the gods in Dansarun took too long in making a move against Xuijae.

And now, the Emperor was telling Kai-Se to do that very thing, to journey to the mountains (again) and tarnish the sacred agreement made by their ancestors.

"It will mean the dynasty's fall if I go," Kai-Se stared at his feet. When had he removed his boots? "I'll pretend the Emperor didn't just suggest that to me."

His father was silent for a while. The next words he spoke drove another pike of guilt in Kai-Se's heart. "I'd rather lose the dynasty than lose you as a son."

Kai-Se raised his head to meet his father's eyes. They were the exact reflections of his own. He had never seen them soften as they did now. A soft breath flitted out his lips as he averted his gaze once more. This time, he studied the intricate patterns carved into his window even though he could probably draw it from memory now. Outside, the inky sky peppered with twinkling stars waved at him. Carpets of dark clouds swept through the expanse, never once stopping to admire the civilization beneath them.

"What do you know about my sickness for you to have suggested going to a shaman?" Kai-Se asked. It was the first thing that came into his mind, after all. "What do you know about magic, in general?"

The Emperor's face didn't change. Instead, he ran his tongue over his teeth. "I think I know enough about magic at my age. Having witnessed your birth was a miracle in itself," he said. "As for your sickness, the fact that none of our methods have worked means the answers lie somewhere us humans won't ever reach. What's the more probable answer?"

As much as Kai-Se didn't want to admit it, the truth now glared at him from afar. "Shaoryeong," he said. It all led to the mythical realm of the spirits. The reason why he was able to open a gate between the mortal realm and Shaoryeong and the reason why he was able to close it—they eluded him for as long as he could remember. And now, he was dying from an inexplicable cause.

Shaoryeong. The answers lay there. Probably.

"Oh, and before I leave, I have news that can cheer you up," the Emperor blurted.

Kai-Se raised an eyebrow. Not exactly a good way to talk to a king but he had grown up with this man it's hard to separate the times he was being a father and when he was acting as the Emperor. "What is it?"

"Paekdora Nao-Zai has been requested from the Yomaura Fortress," the Emperor said. "He'll be working as an Imperial Guard starting tomorrow."

Kai-Se's eyes widened. Paekdora Nao-Zai. The face that popped into his head belonged to a long lost time. The moments of his life where he felt truly himself, where he truly felt free. Those seemed like a lifetime ago now that he's back in the Imperial Palace. The prospect of seeing Nao-Zai again both elated and terrified him. One glance at the dried blood decorating his clothes and he realized the terror outweighed what meager joy he derived from the news.

Nao-Zai couldn't see him. Not like this.

"I have a favor to ask of you, Father," Kai-Se said. His voice sounded tired in his ears. Chi-Sae might have broken her oath and told the Emperor but he couldn't find the fire to start yelling or even feel extensive anger in his system. He was just...exhausted.

The Emperor unclasped his hands from behind him. "What is it?"

Kai-Se bit his tongue until it hurt. His mind screamed at him to never say it, that he'd regret it later on, but he met his father's gaze one last time. "Don't tell Nao-Zai about what I've become," he said. "He can't know. I don't need another person to worry about me. He's better off in his ignorance."

As an acknowledgment, the Emperor slid his hands behind him once more and turned away. "Rest up tonight," his father said, sliding the door to his room aside. "I'll see you when you're well."

With that, what's left of his father's shadow flitted into the corridor and, soon, out of the Butterfly Palace altogether. Kai-Se glanced down at his hands. Blood coated his fingers and seeped deeper into his nail beds. Knowing that he might as well not get better, would he even see his father again?