The air in the forest was thick, and it wasn't because of their present altitude nor the humidity hanging in the undergrowth. Kai-Se ran a hand down his sleeve, noting how the threads had frayed and tears had started revealing themselves. If there was something he missed from the Imperial Palace, it's the smooth brush of satin and silk against his skin. Maybe the assurance of every meal, if he's being sentimental. Everything else simply fell into the other category.

He certainly didn't miss the near apoplectic look Nao-Zai was throwing him from the distance at the odd intervals their gazes locked. It's like they're back to how it was when they first met.

What should he make of that?

A shadow fell over him and he felt his mother sidle close. The log he's sitting on creaked under the added weight. He's getting really good at balancing himself on these as it threatened to roll under him with every movement. "What's on your mind?" the Queen asked, her eyes scanning the rest of the Noryeong clan getting ready for the night's rest. None of them seemed pertrubed at the prospect of being awakened in the middle of the night should another ruling clan found them. "You've been quiet since the fire."

She didn't give him any more indication of what fire she talked about, but he knew, nonetheless. He blew a breath and averted his gaze from the bustling chaos in front of him. His tattered boots looked more interesting, anyway. "A lot of things, Mother," he answered. And left it at that. The Queen knew better than to press. "A lot of things."

"Well, I suggest you make room for one more thing," she jerked her chin towards Nao-Zai who huddled close to the other Noryeong boys and mothers with babies. He's forever the public servant. Maybe he'd make a great Emperor someday. "You should talk to him."

That's the last thing Kai-Se wanted to do, so he tuned his own mother out. "I don't know what's going on between you, but it doesn't take long to see the signs," she said. "Do it now before it blows up in your faces in the worst way possible."

"Speaking from experience?" Kai-Se asked. If the Queen was ticked off by the sarcasm laced around his tone, she didn't show it.

Instead, she bobbed her head. "Your father and I have had some...disagreements," she said. "Putting the empire over our own family is the common theme. But now that we don't even have it, it's time to focus on the one thing we have left—you."

Kai-Se pursed his lips, the knots in his gut multiplying into a number he didn't bother counting anymore. "How do you handle all of this...catastrophe? They're coming in, one after the other. Faster than I can keep up."

"Most of the time, I don't," his mother answered. Her eyes remained dark and hard, but her face carried on a faint trace of frailty. "It's not your job to take on everything the world throws at you. Sometimes...you have to accept that some things just are. That, and the best thing you can do is to survive without letting go of what's important."

He opened his mouth but before he could say anything else, she patted his knee and stood up. "I'm calling it a night," she said. "It's been a long day."

Kai-Se could only nod. His mother stepped forward and flashed him a stern look. "Talk to him, son," she said. "Don't make me command you as your Queen."

At that, he grinned. "Well, too bad," he said. "We're both bygones."

His mother snorted and stalked off. He got up as well and dusted his trousers. His nerves frayed as much as the threads in his fenhai did. Of course, he planned on telling Nao-Zai everything. He had pieced as many pieces as he could, built a picture in his head, no matter how hazy. He even knew the name of the man who had been getting him to leave the mortal realm yet again. Knowing Nao-Zai, the soldier would probably understand and they could push whatever this chapter in their relationship was to the back of the pile.

He reached the tent—one that managed to survive through countless raids and narrow escapes—and ducked inside. Nao-Zai was there, sitting on the ground with his back to the central pole. The soldier's eyes were closed, arms crossed over his chest. Bloodstains from wounds Kai-Se didn't know if recent or not covered his fenhai. The off-white strips of knotted bandages peeked from several tears in the fabric.

They're all tired. Maybe Kai-Se would call it a night as well. He'd talk to Nao-Zai tomorrow.

"Why did you do that?" Nao-Zai's flat tone stopped Kai-Se in his tracks.

Cold ice seeped into his veins, freezing his limbs in place. "What do you mean?" Kai-Se asked.

Nao-Zai's eyes snapped open and he rose, matching Kai-Se's stance. "Those mercenaries," he asked. "Why did you burn them?"

Oh, that. Kai-Se didn't even know where to start. He only knew one thing. "I didn't," he said. "Someone else did."

The soldier scoffed. "Could have been me, is that what you're saying?" he shook his head.

Kai-Se flicked his gaze at Nao-Zai's face. This wasn't a good time to learn the soldier was capable of being snarky. "Is that how little you think of me?" he asked.

"Can you blame a mere mortal?" Nao-Zai's eyes hardened, nothing like the gaze Kai-Se had gotten used to seeing in the soldier's face. "Out of all of us, you're the only one who can make a flame spark without touching a flint. So, I had to ask—why did you do it?"

He sighed. His mother's words echoed inside his head but he tuned it out. He faced Nao-Zai. Completely, this time. "They're burned by the oath they swore," he hissed. "It's not me."

The wheels in Nao-Zai's head turned. That much was visible through the shift in the soldier's features. "Was the oath about withhelding the name you forced out of them?" Nao-Zai said.

Kai-Se's soles scratched against the grass. "Are you saying I killed them?"

"If you made them break an oath which caused them to explode into ashes," Nao-Zai replied. "Then, you might as well."

Nails dug against the inside of Kai-Se's palms. "Is that it? Are you angry because I drove someone to their death?" he asked. "I did worse things. How are you going to handle that?"

"The same way I have always handled it," Nao-Zai said. "Understanding where you're coming from. Seeing the world from your perspective," he sighed and braced the pole with a hand. "But I can't do it if you're deliberately not letting me. By not telling me what's going on in your head, I can't understand you."

Kai-Se shook his head. "You don't need to understand me," he said. "You just don't."

Hurt flickered across Nao-Zai's face. "It's my job."

"It's not!" Kai-Se yelled. It would be a miracle if the camp stayed unconscious after all this. He touched a hand to his chest. "It's not your job to take everything off my shoulders and pretend it's not heavy. It's not your job to get hurt for my sake, every, single time, spirits be damned. It's not your job."

He raised his eyes towards Nao-Zai while doing his best to hold back the tears threatening to fall. "I am not your job," his voice had dropped into a dangerous whisper now. "This isn't the Imperial Palace anymore. No one's forcing you to watch over me. No one's breathing down your neck to save me. So please..."

"Leave me alone," Kai-Se breathed. His voice came away shaky.

Nao-Zai's voice was quiet. "I can't do that."

Something inside Kai-Se snapped. He whirled to the soldier, not really caring what he's saying or how he's saying it anymore. "You know what? That's your problem, Nao-Zai," he said. "You're overbearing. You must see me as some fragile thing and yourself as some sort of warrior in golden lamellar. Well, I'm not, and so are you. You're not invincible. So stop acting like you are."

"Kai-Se, where is all this coming from?" Nao-Zai asked. After all the verbal lashes Kai-Se had given him, there he was, still trying to make it right. Even if the wrongs had already outnumbered the salvageable good, he's still there. Why?

"You wanted to talk? Well, this is me talking," Kai-Se said. "Stay out of my business. For your own good."

"Fine," Nao-Zai said. Somehow, his concession hurt more than anything Kai-Se should have heard from him. "Keep on pushing me away. Keep on holding everyone an armslength away. Maybe you'll get your wish someday. I've had enough of this."

He didn't need to say it because Kai-Se could hear it laced underneath each and every word. I've had enough of you.

Kai-Se exhaled through his nose. Exasperated—it's the closest word he could come up with describing what he's feeling. At who or what, he couldn't tell. Most probably, himself. Nao-Zai didn't deserve to be treated like this. He didn't deserve someone as full of crap as Kai-Se.

Before anyone could stop him, he turned and fled. Out of shame, guilt, or his conscience—whatever it was, he didn't belong here. Not in this place.

His chest heaved with a mixture of huffs and sobs as he burst out of the camp and headed straight into the midnight forest. He slammed his fist at the nearest trunk he could find, not flinching at the stab of pain it repaid his flesh and the wounds already in it.

A flash of light flickered from behind, illuminating the blades of grass for a bit before plunging them into an inky void once more. Footsteps rustled. Kai-Se turned to come face-to-face with the man from his dreams. He tilted his head, letting his blond locks fall over his shoulders.

"We're rudely interrupted last time," the man said. He offered Kai-Se the same hand he did in the dream. "The offer still stands, Kai-Se."

The way his name rolled off the man's tongue sent waves of comfort down his spine against every fiber of his being. It shouldn't be this way, not when he had already given his heart to another. It must not be.

The hand continued to be offered. All he had to do was take it, then he'd be out of this world, out of everybody's collective hair. Then, he'd be in a place where no one would ever worry about him. In times when everything around him was falling apart, paradise seemed a good place to run to. Paradise was a good place to rest. It's the perfect spot to let himself break. Over and over.

It was the only place he would truly belong.

So, he rested his fingers against the man's waiting hand. The man grinned, like it was the only thing he had been waiting for all his life. Before Kai-Se could attempt to take his hand back or look behind him to see the realm he's leaving behind, the world curled in on itself, plunging him into another abyss. He couldn't breathe. Couldn't think.

The darkness devoured him before he could cry out.