Lumipas ang panahon at nung kalagitnaan ng 4th quarter ay niligawan na ni Mateo si Weslie. I still ditch them and make ways for them to be alone or be a third wheel. Unti unti na rin akong nasanay at tinanggap na mahal na nila ang isa't isa. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt me any more. It still hurts and I still cry a lot.

----

It was 4pm at nakatambay kami ni Weslie sa isang cafe malapit sa school. Wala si Mateo ngayon dahil agad siyang umuwi para samahan ang mama niya na magpacheck-up.

Umiinom ako ng chocolate shake habang pinapakinggan ang kwento ni Weslie. We were talking about the guys she dated and had a crush on before she met Mateo.

I was just quietly listening to her because I was not in the mood to talk. I'm lucky that Weslie is an extrovert so its fine if I don't talk that much. She knows that I'm listening naman.

Medyo bad mood lang ako kasi red days ko ngayon at maraming nangyari sa school kanina.

"What about you, Esme?"

"Huh? What about me?"

"Yea. Have you ever dated before? Or had a crush on someone? Or are you interested in anybody right now?" she asked, her eyes full of curiosity.

"H-huh? Wes, I don't have time for that." sagot ko na lang.

"What? Oh come on, there must have been at least one person who caught your attention."

"Do fictional characters count?" I joked.

"Gosh, Esme, you know what I mean. There must've been someone."

I looked at her seriously. "Weslie, I'm telling you, there's none" I lied.

"What? As in wala talaga? I mean, sabagay, baka walang pogi dito" I laughed. Mateo hindi ka raw pogi hahahhhahahaha. "Okay, change question. May nanligaw na ba sayo?" tanong naman niya.

"Wala" I answered. I mean, I didn't lie. Wala naman talagang nanligaw sa akin kasi di ako nagpaligaw. May mga nagconfess at nagtry pero hindi ako pumayag. But why is she so curious.

"What?! Wala?! As in wala talaga?! Pshhh come on, Esmeray Cortez say something believable! Sa ganda mong yan walang nanligaw sayo?!"

Nagulat ako sa reaction niya. "Woah, calm down Wes. Inhale, exhale"

"Pero seryoso nga. Is your highschool life really that boring?!"

I frowned. "Hey that hurts"

"Wala ka talagang naging lovelife or kahit crush man lang?!

"Weslie, why are you so curious ba? Just because you had many crushes and dated a few guys doesn't mean that everyone else does too." I said, starting to get annoyed.

"I mean, yea, but still! I never expected that you didn't date or have a crush on anyone. But seriously, wala ka ba talagang nagustuhan? Nobody caught your attention? Hindi ka nagwapuhan kahit kanino?"

I put my drink down and took a deep breath. "You know Weslie, I never thought that you'd grow up to be so nosy. You wanna know kung may naging crush ako, diba? Well guess what? I do have a crush--- No, its more than a mere crush. And you know what hurts? I love him but he loves someone else." I said, my voice laced with anger.

"O-oh, I-i'm sorry to hear that."

"You wanna know who that guy is, right?" I asked. I stood up and slammed the table. "Well its the guy who's currently courting you. Its the guy who loves you very much!" I blurted out, tears flowing from my eyes.

Shock was evident on her face. "M-mateo?"

Only then did I realize what I did. The few people in the cafe started to look at us but I didn't care. I wiped my tears and looked at Weslie who was now crying. Unti unti akong napaupo at yumuko. Oh crap. What did I do? "H-hey... forget what I said, Weslie."

I expected Weslie to get mad and scream at me but instead she covered her face and cried. "I-i'm sorry... I'm sorry, Esme.... I'm so so sorry... I'm sorry..." she kept mumbling.

Tumayo ako at umupo sa tabi niya. "W-what? Why are you apologizing? There's nothing to be sorry about. You both didn't know. I didn't tell you. So don't apologize and stop crying, okay?" I wiped her tears.

"No! I should've known. I'm sorry, Esme. I'm sorry kung nasaktan kita. I'm sorry for everything. L-lalayuan ko na si Mateo. Please don't get md at me. Don't hate me."

Niyakap ko siya. "Weslie... why would I get mad? And, I'm fine. Don't worry about me, okay? I know you love Mateo kaya wag mo siyang lalayuan para lang sa akin. Wag mong sayangin yung efforts ko sa pagiging matchmaker at third wheel ko sa inyo, nako. At, panahon na rin para kalimutan ko ang nararamdaman ko sa kanya. Please, stop crying, okay? I want you to be happy."

-------

Lumipas ang mga linggo at sa isang maulan na hapon ay nagulat ako nang marinig na tumunog ang doorbell. Sumilip ako sa bintana at nakita ko si Weslie na nasa labas. Dali dali kong kinuha ang payong at lumabas para buksan ang gate.

Nakita ko siya na basang basa at nakatulala. Agad ko siyang pinayungan. "Weslie anong ginagawa mo diyan sa labas? Bilisan mo at pumasok ka na sa loob. Baka magkasakit ka--" Bigla niyang hinawakan ang braso ko at doon ko lang napansin na umiiyak pala siya. "Weslie bakit ka umiiyak---"

"I'm sorry... sorry... sorry, Esme. Hindi ko na mapigilan ang nararamdaman ko. Mahal ko si Mateo, Esme. Hindi ko siya kayang layuan. I'm sorry..."

Bumuntong hininga ako at pinapasok siya. "Mamaya na natin pagusapan yan, Wes. Pumasok ka muna. Baka magkasakit ka"

Inabutan ko siya ng twalya at damit. "Take a shower first and change clothes. You can use the bathroom over there." I stated and pointed at the direction of the bathroom.

She just stared at me and smiled. "Thank you" she mumbled and went upstaires.

After a while, lumabas siya ng banyo. Nakabihis na siya at pinapatuyo niya ang buhok niya. "Weslie umupo ka dito. Ano bang nangyari?"

She sat beside me. "Wala naman. A few weeks ago, when you told me that you liked Mateo, I started avoiding him. But earlier, he asked me why was I avoiding him and we kind of argued. Then I realized that I loved him." Tumingin siya sa akin. "I love him, Esme. Hindi ko na mapigilan ang nararamdaman ko. I'm sorry."

I sighed. "Weslie, I told you naman, diba? You don't need to avoid Mateo. You don't need to stop your feelings. You don't need to stop loving him. Don't do that for me. You're just hurting yourself and Mateo---"

"B-but if I don't, then you'll get hurt."

"Weslie, do you think I won't get hurt if you continue avoiding Mateo? Pare-parehas tayong masasaktan sa ginagawa mo. You're breaking his heart and it hurts you to do that. What do you think would I feel if both of my friends get hurt? Do you expect me to be happy?"

"...but without me, you and Mateo could end up together."

I scoffed. "Me and him? Noon pa man wala na kaming pagasa. I'm sure you know, before you came, he still loved his ex. And to him, I'm nothing more than a friend. Now, he loves you and I know you love him too. So its about time for me to move on and let him go. Mateo isn't the only guy on earth. I'm sure I'll eventually find the one for me."

Niyakap niya ako. "Esme... I love you. You're an amazing friend and person. I'm sure you'll find the one."

"You're a great friend and person too. But you're too selfless. You should learn to prioritize yourself more, okay?"

She just nodded and let go of me. "Okay, I'll try but no promises."

I laughed and smiled at her. "As long as you're happy."