chapter three,     everlasting

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1964
Volterra, Italy
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           "YOU BROKE HIM."

           It was an understatement. In front of them kneeled some sort of resemblance of a man. Trembling, his whole body was arched painfully, trembling breaths leaving his mouth as if oxygen was a poison for him. Right hand pressed against his chest, itched to rip out his own heart and offer it to her. Desperately wanting to make her stay. No tears dared to fall. Not even one. She despised tears. 

           "He's marvellous," the same voice breathed out, full of astonishment. 

           "If I cannot bring terror into this world, why do I need him?" Her voice was even, melodic. Even when she expressed her utter disapproval. It made his heart clench at the sound of her voice. His mind was aching from the memories – where had he gone wrong? What did he do that made her decide to leave him?

           "Sister," another voice called out to her. It was silent, almost like a whisper, echoing through the void. "He's devoted to you as you are to him."

           It was torture. He came here to ask for death and he didn't wish to be taunted by her voice that was cocooning him in a soft melody, reminding him of the way his heart bounced when she was beside him. Anything for her. Anything. 

           "You can bring terror, dear," the first one assured her. "But you have become sloppy. Must your revenge continue after centuries now?"

           The echoing of her heels made Eros shiver. It seemed like she was in all this space, all around him, in him. His body tingled with sadness, with excruciating pain that was splitting into his ribcage, occupying his lungs, making him wish that his next breath was the last. 

           Amara grasped a handful of his hair, raising his head to face the three vampires, sitting in front of them. "If you would've seen him the way he kills... The way he greets death... The way his darling eyes don't change from the taste of blood. If I cannot bring terror into this world, why do I need him?" She repeated, releasing his hair, but he kept facing the vampires.

           "Oh, his eyes!" The vampire sitting in the middle stood up, walking to him, making him stand up. As the broken resemblance of a man stood up, hovering over the vampire, taunting him with his empty eyes. "They are almost as dark as ours, but they are—so brown around the iris. They don't change from the blood," the vampire whispered, astonished while looking at Eros. "They don't change from the blood!" He smiled widely, looking at him as if he was the greatest acknowledgement in a long time.

           "We have laws, sister," the vampire on his left reminded. "It's time you joined us."

           "Marcus," Amara huffed out, closing her eyes as she walked closer to her brother. "I don't want to be locked up in here while the whole world is out there."

           "You were reckless," Marcus didn't back down. "Your task was to oversee him. Oversee what he can do. His powers. You turned him into a weapon."

           In the meantime, Aro placed his hand on Eros' cheek, letting all his memories and feelings crash into him at once. That desperate love. That desperate need for her in any given moment. The vampire concluded, "He wants death." He pulled away from Eros, shaking his hand gently, his voice changing as if he was talking with a child: "But you are a wonder, Eros. A unification between two worlds. It's not your time yet."

           Eros wished he could defend himself. He wished he could express how badly his whole body ached at the thought of being without her. What was he without her? What was he supposed to do if not to make her happy? 

           Aro took a step back, looking at Amara: "Your mistake was that you treated him as a vampire."

           Amara turned her head to him, her angry curls surrounding her face, moving in every direction. "You told me to make him one of us! To prepare him! To teach him our ways!"

           "And yet, you used him as your own weapon," the third vampire scoffed. "Your task was to oversee if he wasn't the same as an immortal child."

           The woman scoffed, raising and dropping her arms: "He's as much a human as he is a vampire. He was never an immortal child. You all knew that."

           "Look at him now, sister. Is he one of us?" Marcus looked at Eros. "He's crumbling apart from the thought that you are going to leave him. Are you stating you didn't use him for your own wishes? All those murdered people... Burnt villages... You left nothing out of our heritage."

           The woman looked at her brother, gently shaking her head: "I did it for us." She gritted out.

           "I didn't ask for it," Marcus calmly stated. "We've overseen many things, and we are offering you a place beside us. You must know that the choice you must make is simple."

           Aro was leaving the sibling dispute behind as he was looking at Eros with curious eyes. "You have a beating heart," he placed his hand on his chest to feel slow thuds, ricocheting into his palm with utter sadness and despair. "A beating heart and the strength of a vampire. Insatiable hunger that can be calmed down with human food. And the sun?" Aro stepped back pressing his palms together and pushing them to his mouth in an excited manner. "The sun doesn't affect you."

           "What do we do then?" the blond vampire asked, feeling too tired to deal with this situation. "He asks for death. He won't live without her."

           As Aro was to state his decision, the door opened, and a blond girl walked in with a man behind her. "He requested an immediate audience." The girl informed; her voice monotonic. 

           "Carlisle!" Aro clasped his hands together, giving him a wide smile. "Welcome back!"

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Now, 2005
Forks, United States of America
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           THIS DREAM was his most reoccurring one. He doesn't remember much of those three hundred years with Amara. Brief images of burning houses and bloody hands were all he could decipher. But the feeling stayed inside of him – how desperately he loved her, how he clung to her as if she was his whole life. 

           Carlisle met him in Volterra with purpose. Alice oversaw him there, asking for death, knowing that he had to join the Olympic Coven, but if Carlisle hadn't gone there quick enough, something would've happened. 

           Now, after those years, Eros knew that the Voluri would never offer him the death he asked. He was too valuable. Too valuable in understanding how his kind worked. How to make more of him – everything a vampire wanted to be. He felt thankful that Carlisle showed up there at that moment. He wouldn't have survived the stay with the Volturi while Amara was there.

           Amara never loved him. 

           Pushing the blanket off his body, he exhaled deeply. He always felt jealous of his siblings – to not be able to sleep and dream. Eros would survive just fine without sleep, but the side of him that was human crawled out whenever it was night. He felt better when he had a good night's sleep, but those were rare. And maybe he was going to sleep so he could to see her. No matter that it was hurtful.  

           Eros remembers it clearly as if it was yesterday, the way he called out to Amara when it was decided that he would leave with Carlisle. He called out for her, knowing that he would stay with her if she said anything to him. A simple yes was all he needed. He called out her name, but she didn't even turn to him. She didn't even turn to him to banish him completely from her life. Instead, she left him with an uncertainty that plagued his nights. 

           Not even bothering to put on a shirt, he wandered from his room, leaving the windows closed with curtains. He walked downstairs, wanting to have a cup of coffee before going to school. Before he got to the kitchen, he noticed that his whole family was in the living room. Alice had a vision again.

          "What's going on?" he asked, his voice lower from sleep.

          Alice looked at him, eyes filled with pity as she gently shook her head. "Oh, Eros..." She ran to him, wrapping her hands around him, squeezing as much as she could without hurting him. 

          Confused, he wrapped his left arm around her small frame, gently pushing her away from him after a few seconds. "What did you see?"

          It seemed like she wanted to say something, but she was holding herself back. She swung to her sides, turning back to face the others. They were all clearly hiding something from him.

          "Well?" Eros impatiently pushed someone to tell him what was going on.

          With a burden in his step, Carlisle stepped away from his wife, one of his hands in the pockets of his pants. "Alice saw the Volturi."

          "Okay..." Eros mumbled as Alice took his hand in both of her palms, squeezing it reassuringly. "Alice has been overseeing the Volturi for quite some time now. What's the problem?"

          "She saw them deciding between sending someone to check on us. On you, specifically," Edward explained, sitting on the armchair in front of him. 

          "Okay," shrugged Eros. "It's not the first time they've done that. I am sick and tired of Jane's judgmental eyes, but she's not a threat." It was the truth. The Volturi had sent a person from their clan, usually Jane, who visited their clan three times already, every ten years to see how Eros was faring. Not that they cared about his broken heart, but they wanted to see if he was getting older. If human food was making him weaker or stronger. What sleep meant for him. They were analyzing him. 

          Alice winced as if she was in a lot of pain and squeezed his hand even tighter. "I saw them making the decision. But this time... Amara wishes to come instead of Jane."

          All of them heard the way his heart thudded loudly and stopped for a decent ten seconds. After tonight's nightmare, he didn't think he would hear her name among his family. Not wanting to cause a reaction, because he was fine, he gulped, nodding. "Future changes." He tried to sound strong, unbothered, but his voice gently cracked at the end of the sentence and the vampires picked that up. "She might change her mind." He said, reassuring himself and not his family. 

          Pulling his hand away from Alice, he walked into the kitchen as if nothing had happened. The vampires shared a look, hearing how he was preparing himself a coffee. They didn't know how to handle this. Their own past was long dead, killed or died by natural causes. Eros' past was alive, and he always knew that she was in Volterra. He managed to live these past decades without her, searching for her subconsciously, but never talking about her. 

           What would happen if she showed up?     

          Alice looked at Edward, nudging her head towards the open kitchen that was connected to the living room. Understanding, Edward made his way to the kitchen counters, watching the way he was brewing coffee, pouring it through a filter. 

          "Eros..." he started, but he really didn't know what to say. "You can't leave again."

      "I wasn't planning to."

          "With her, I mean."

          Eros stopped pouring water into the cup, letting the liquid press down. Pushing his head down, he took a deep breath and turned around, facing Edward. "What are you trying to say?" His voice was calm even if they all expected him to burst out on them all.

          "What if she asks you to leave with her?" Edward asked slowly.

          "She won't."

          Edward wasn't convinced. None of them were. Why else would she decide to come now? "I think we all know the reason for your trips, Eros."

          "What are you trying to say, Edward?" He repeated his question, but something changed in his demeanour. Usually, he looked the way people portrayed him – a troubled teenager. But now, he gently tilted his head to the right as his eyes didn't have the lovely brown around the irises, they were pitch black. His hidden killer, stuffed in the deepest part of him, sometimes bled out. He was trained to kill. He could never forget that. 

          "I didn't see you leave with her! The future didn't change," Alice appeared from behind Edward, trying to smooth this situation a bit. 

          Eros wasn't moving an inch. He was usually very energetic, always moving his hand there and there, swaying his legs. He had a hard time sitting still as his siblings did, but now – he was completely still. His family didn't see something like this often – a part of him before he met them all. 

          Eros was dangerous. He was taught to be like that. 

          "What future?" Eros asked. "Did you see something else?" He seemed to awaken from his still state, moving a bit forward, trying to shake himself back into reality. They didn't deserve to put up with his mood changes. They didn't deserve to see the side that was the worst of him. 

          Alice and Edward shared a look and Eros immediately caught up that they weren't telling him something important. 

          Eros didn't back down. He wanted to know everything. "That day when I got back, I saw you had a vision. It was about me, wasn't it?"

          The woman pressed her hands in a pleading manner, coming closer: "You always say that you don't want to be bothered by the talk about love... We decided not to tell you about it."

          It couldn't be. He felt as if his whole energy was sucked out of him, his whole body gradually becoming weak. It couldn't be... Could Amara...?

          "In the vision you were happy. I've never seen you happier," Alice beamed, the memory of that vision flooding her senses. 

          It couldn't be... It couldn't be... Was he so weak that when Amara shows up, he won't even try to stay with his family?

          Alice noticed the flashing hurt in his eyes and she shook her head, walking to him and grabbing his hand, reassuringly. "You weren't looking at Amara in my vision."

          "W-what?" Eros stuttered, blinking fast as he always thought about Amara. It felt like his own body, his own heart could never let anyone in except for her. So much pain, so much misery not only for himself but for others he has caused. She has caused. "It can't be... I don't think I can ever..." 

           Love again? Be happy again? 

           Eros didn't notice the way Edward shook his head, indicating that Alice shouldn't say anything more about this matter. The small woman, squeezed Eros' hands, trying to calm him down. "We didn't tell you because the future always changes. You asked me not to tell you if I saw something related to love. What I saw..." She made sure he was looking at her before continuing. "I've never seen you smile like that, Eros. Never. All I ask is this... If a moment presents itself where you are able to heal – don't waste it. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to love. Without needing to change for the person."

          He didn't deserve to be loved. He didn't deserve love. If he deserved all of this, maybe Amara would've stayed. She would've stayed with him no matter what. 

          "It wasn't Amara?" His voice was a soft whisper, afraid to break into tears. 

          "No," Alice gently said.

          "Who was it?"

           "I don't know," Alice lied, making Edward gently close his eyes in relief. He had to have an opportunity to meet someone himself. On his own terms. Not to chase or hide from waiting opportunities. "I don't want you to leave with Amara. You are our family now."

꒷꒦

          NOELLE got the signature needed from the biology teacher before the lesson as everyone was gathering in the class. It was the second day in school, and she seemed to be surviving this slowly without any casualties. 

          "Do you have the book?" Mr. Molina asked, and she showed him the book. He turned to her, taking the chance that the class buzzed with conversation to tell her: "I got informed about your—allergy. If there are any casualties or if you feel bad, you can leave at any given time." He reassured her, fixing his glasses. 

          "Thank you, Mr. Molina," she gently smiled, feeling a bit more reassured now that the teachers seemed nice and understanding here. 

          "Since this class is full, I am afraid I'll have you sit next to someone. You'll find a free space..." he trailed off, looking where the free seat was, "at the back, near Mr. Cullen."

          Noelle nodded, looking at the back of the class where Eros was sitting, talking to Edward who was sitting on a window trail in front of him. She felt the way her heart thudded faster, but she quickly calmed down. It would be good to find a friend. She didn't want to seem weird or obsessed with him. She wanted a friend. 

          Thanking the teacher again, she walked to her seat, alerting the two siblings of her presence. Trying to ignore their apparent beauty, she awkwardly hummed before starting to talk: "Sorry. Don't mean to interrupt you both. I got this seat assigned."

          "Noelle," Eros softly smiled, looking at the girl. "Tell me you're good at biology... I am terrible."

          The girl chuckled, gently pushing her chair further from Eros, and hanging her bag on the chair. "I'm pretty decent. I'll help you." She looked at Edward Cullen, offering him a little wave. "It's nice to meet you."

          The school bell rang, and Edward stood up, ready to go to his place. "It's nice to meet you as well." Leaving to go to his seat, before Bella showed up in the doorway. 

          Noelle sat down, noticing that there was a microscope on the table and onion root cells on the little slides. She has already done something like this in New York. 

          "Settle down, kids, settle down... On your tables, you have different onion root cells. Separate them into different parts of mitosis and the first pair that does it will get..." Mr. Molina grabbed a golden onion statue in his hand, "this beauty. So, get to work!" After that, he quickly gave the worksheets to every table and the buzzing of the students began. 

          Noelle turned to Eros, wanting to see if she should be the one to initiate the research to avoid accidental touching. "Do you know anything about mitosis?" she asked, noticing that he was kind of distant. Not that she knew how he was, but he was different from yesterday. 

          He still had his charm surrounding him, but his eyes were drained in pure sadness. The rain, pouring outside the window, seemed to be the consequence of his sadness. She wanted to somehow soothe him, but she knew her place. 

           "Uh... Not really? Ladies first," he chuckled, but even the chuckle seemed strained. 

          Noelle nodded, pushing the microscope closer to her and putting the first slide on the microscope, adjusting the lens to view properly what was on the slide. Looking for a few seconds, she pulled back: "Metaphase." She pushed the microscope closer to him, retracting her hand quickly. 

           Briefly, looking at the microscope, he shrugged: "I'll agree with the smart girl."

           Taking the worksheet, she pulled out a pen, holding it with her gloved hands. "It's metaphase because the chromosomes are aligned in one line. At this stage, it is also visible that the two kinetochores of each chromosome should be attached to microtubules from..." She wrote down the answer to the first slide, looking to the side, catching herself that she was speaking when he didn't even ask to explain it. Gulping, she frowned a bit, "Sorry. I tend to overexplain."

           Eros put his left elbow on the table, pushing his head on his hand, looking at her: "Don't apologize. You are more than decent in biology."

           As she finished writing the explanation of why the first slide was a metaphase, she pulled the microscope to herself and as she was changing slides, she carried the courage to ask him: "It's not—any of my business. But are you okay? You seem—bothered."

          Eros was bothered by what he had heard this morning, but he shrugged one shoulder. "I am not a big fan of the rain, that's all."

          Noelle chuckled, "So many people in Forks who hate rain..."

          He slightly squinted his eyes: "And you love rain?"

          "I do," she changed the slides, looking through the lens, before looking at him. "I find rain soothing."

          "What if you get totally drenched from the rain?" He inquired. 

          Noelle hummed, exhaling deeply: "I like it."

         "You know that you're probably the only person on this planet who likes that?" 

          She pushed the microscope closer to him, not telling him the answer right away. "You all just don't understand the beauty of rain," she looked down at the paper. "Besides, rain shouldn't be a reason to hide your smile."

          "My smile?" He furrowed his eyebrows gently, a playful tug visible on his lips.

          The girl forced herself to calm down, turning to him as she gently hid her hands under the table, pulling them into fists. "I think your smile is beautiful." Noelle couldn't believe that she managed to say that out loud without stuttering, but it was worth it. Because the way his face lit up made her flustered – a playful chuckle got wiped away from his face and a lovely, wide smile replaced it. Two deep dimples appeared, making her have a hard time containing her heartbeat. He was really beautiful. Trying to save herself from what she said, she turned her head to the microscope: "Go on. Try it."

          Not expecting to get a compliment from her, he had to force himself to stop smiling so widely as he looked through the lens: "Prometaphase."

          Furrowing her eyebrows, she squinted her eyes: "Did you lie about being terrible in biology? You just didn't want to do all the work."

          "Or maybe I just wanted to hear you explain everything about mitosis," he offered his version of the situation. 

          "Right," her voice trailed off. "You have a thing for mitosis or something?" She joked.

          Eros puffed out his cheeks, nodding as if he was caught doing something bad. "Yeah... It's kind of like my version of dirty talk."

          Noelle looked at him, offering him a side glance while the corners of her lips tugged up. With a little snort, she started to laugh, silently, not wanting to alert the others. Her reaction moved him as if a magnet and he covered his mouth, laughing into his elbow. 

          "I won't say a word then," she breathed out, her voice slightly breaking after laughing. She took the opportunity to write the explanation, only this time – silently, but with a soft smile on her face. 

          Eros was looking at her, feeling somehow as if the weight of his shoulders gently eased. It was so easy with her, again. So easy to talk. So easy to react to what she was saying. He didn't need to force his emotions; they flowed out of him naturally. A new friendship was forming, perhaps? 

          He changed the slide as she was writing, grasping the opportunity to ask her some questions. "Did you move because you love the rain?"

          "Not the main reason, but it affected my decision a lot... No, my parents wanted to move to a small city. Living in a big city can be—difficult."

          Looking through the lens, he pushed the microscope to her: "Because you are a germaphobe?"

          "Ah," Noelle breathed out. "Talks spread quickly here."

          "Welcome to a small town."

          Noelle looked through the lens, before writing down the answer. "Yeah. I think it is a bit easier here because of that. Too soon to say." She looked at him. "And the answer?"

          "Anaphase," he said.

          She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, shaking her head disapprovingly. "You just wanted to use me."

          "I don't really like biology."

          "But you are good at it."

          "It's just mitosis," he waved his hand in a dismissive manner. 

          "It doesn't mean it's not hard," she pointed with her pen to the right, where the other two students had a book under the table. "Mind if I test you?"

          "Prepare to be disappointed."

          Noelle turned her attention to him: "What are the smallest of the formed elements of the blood?"

          Not even blinking, he answered: "Platelets."

          "Lengthening of long bones in humans occurs in a particular area of the bone. How is the area called?"

          "Epiphysis."

          "In most axons, the myelin sheath is interrupted at intervals of about 1 millimetre or more. How are the interruptions called?"

          "Nodes of Ranvier."

          Noelle scoffed, pushing the worksheet to him with the pen. "Seems like the biology genius out of two of us isn't me. Don't be lazy."

          He took the pen, shaking his head slightly, smiling at that stupid piece of paper. "I just wanted to be lazy for one lesson..."

      "Didn't work out this time." Noelle looked at him as he was writing the explanation, having very beautiful handwriting, which was a bit unusual for guys. She found herself smiling, keeping herself contained as she changed the slides and focused on the work.

            Maybe she will find a friend. Maybe this will actually be better.

           And Eros didn't even realize how this was his first time in forty years that he didn't think about Amara.

author speaks—

i love writing this book, i love writing them (i was GIGGLING SO BAD). Please tell me if you see their dynamic and their tension or if they feel bleh to you

we dive in more into what's happening with Eros and Amara. The poor guy thinks he is not made for love unless it is obsession. We will see him face many difficult decisions while Noelle's friendship will grow.

Please vote and leave a comment or two! I would really like to know what you think about this book! Thank you!