chapter seven,  a lingering shadow

           THAT DAY, Eros spent about four hours at Noelle's place. He didn't even feel how time just flew away. They were just talking. Talking about everything and about nothing. He had never met a person before where it felt that there was no need to begin a friendship. They were just friends. From the library. It felt like he knew her forever. 

           He learned that she was a marvellous painter. After a lot of asking and even begging, she agreed to show him some paintings and he was immediately struck by lightning. There was something in her paintings that soothed him – they were wonderfully realistic, holding a piece of her in them. All of them were beautiful, but at the same time – painful. So much pain that she tried to give to the canvas. 

           He also understood why she was so obsessed with rain – it soothed her. Her rashes and scars itched and hurt worse when there was direct sunlight on her skin, that's why rain felt like solace. She even told him that it somewhat replicates a human touch for her, and it broke his heart. He realized; she had forgotten how touch feels like. 

           After the long weekend, he never thought he would be this determined to go to school. It wasn't a place that he loved, because he did this too many times. But he always went there to socialize, to expand his views, to try and keep up with changing times. And now, he was even excited to go there. 

           Strolling downstairs, he was met by his whole family, who usually gathered like this in the early mornings after hunting. They hunted in the night when he was usually asleep. 

          "Morning," he chirped, walking straight to the kitchen.

          "Who the fuck are you and what did you do to Eros?" Rosalie noted his unusual chirpiness. Usually, he would look like a bear that woke up from the winter's sleep because of his nightmares, but today he seemed energetic.

          Stopping at the entrance of the kitchen, he turned to his family: "Noelle is coming back to school," he announced. "And I'd like to ask you all to tell me if you will hear anything about someone trying to hurt her."

           The blondie scoffed, crossing her hands over her chest: "So now I have to pretend that I care about another human?"

          "Rosalie," Esme disapproved of her words. 

           "All I am asking is to let me know if anyone will plan to do something to her," he explained again. 

           "Oooh..." Emmett smirked. "Someone's getting protective over her. You actually seem to have a bigger brain than Edward has."

           Edward turned away to look out of the window. "Shut up," he mumbled.

           "He has been going to Bella's ever since the accident while she sleeps," Emmett spilt the truth, watching the way Eros scrunched his face.

           "Dude..." Eros disapprovingly said. "I know you sometimes have issues with figuring out what's right and what's wrong, but that's just straight-up creepy," he leaned to the glass wall to the side of him, pushing his hands into the pockets of his pants. 

            Edward turned back to them, extending his hand defensively: "I'm just worried, that's all."

           "You can show your worry in less creepy ways," Eros shrugged.

           Emmett raised and moved his arms down quickly: "That's what I've been telling you!"

           "You can just..." Eros shrugged. "I don't know. Talk to her? Ask her how she is doing? Go on a walk with her? Anything apart from watching her sleep."

            "I told her we can't be friends," Edward disapproved all those choices. 

           "That's on you, man!" Emmett groaned. "Just because you can't stand beside her, doesn't mean you should watch her sleep." 

            Eros didn't understand the extent of Edward's fear of being beside Bella. He couldn't understand fully what it was like to be a vampire, since he didn't have the same issues as they did. He didn't find that Bella's scent was that sweet. He could easily endure biology lessons when they involved blood tests. It seemed like his brother was suffering staying away from Bella or staying beside her. He just didn't know which of the evils to choose from. 

           Edward shook his head, turning away from his family, not wanting to talk about this any longer as he already had to fight with his own mind. 

          "How's Noelle?" Carlisle asked.

          "She seems to be getting better," Eros abruptly answered. "I mostly ask help from Alice and Edward—if you oversee something, just let me know..." He turned to Edward. "And put special attention on that Newton idiot."

           "He's just a moron, he won't do anything like that," Edward mumbled.

            "You heard what he said during the gathering," Eros pushed his hands into a strangling motion, gently shaking them as if he were strangling the air. "You can never know what he will try to do next."

           "You seem to care about her," Esme noticed, offering him a soft smile.

           Esme showed softness towards Noelle almost as soon she heard about her, but especially after she heard about the allergy. The motherly compassion was hurting – not being able to touch someone you love? Not being able to touch your own child? Esme's heart was aching alongside Noelle's parents and Noelle herself. But she felt relieved to see Eros care about someone this much. Apart from them. He has spent too much time with his own thoughts, on his own trips, with himself. Esme missed her son dearly and for the first time, she didn't have to worry that he would leave abruptly. 

          "She's..." He didn't know how to describe her. She was interesting. She was so nice to talk to. She was beautiful. She was so much more. "She's compassionate. Just like you are." A smile wanted to tug on his lips, so he pushed his head down, going to the kitchen.

           But Esme noticed that smile and she looked at Alice, who was grinning widely. The future didn't change. 

꒷꒦

PEOPLE WERE STARING. And it wasn't the same look they gave her the first time they saw her. They were staring as if expecting her to blow up in front of them. As if she will catch on fire at any given moment. The look was wary, but it was full of anticipation – go on now, show us all your scars. 

Noelle knew this stare well. There was always this moment when the students found out about her condition, and all of this started. As soon as she stepped into school, she noticed how students quickly got out of her way. It was what she wanted all along, but she hoped to keep it a secret for a little bit longer. 

Trying to ignore the curious stares, she quickly made her way to her locker, not wanting to meet anyone or hear any weird questions. She pressed the box she was carrying in her hands for support to get through this. 

Maybe people won't be cruel here. She knew she couldn't avoid the eyes full of disgust or the clear wish to stay away from her. It meant safety for her. But a little part of her prayed that no one would take advantage of her. That no one would be curious to see how bad the allergy is from a single touch. That little curiosity once caused her three weeks in a hospital. 

Opening the locker, she placed the box inside, taking out some books and placing them inside. Suddenly Eros appeared beside her, knocking on her locker door.

"Please tell me there are muffins in that box," he smiled as she closed the locker door to look at him. 

Noelle had to embrace herself to see him again. His charm was messing up her mind and she was slowly becoming delusional. Now, he was standing, leaning to the lockers with his side as his backpack lazily hung over his left shoulder. Leaning his head to the lockers, his curls shifted more onto his forehead, making her move her eyes to his, forcing herself not to pinch herself. She always felt like she was dreaming when she was around him. There was no way that he was talking with her. 

"There are muffins in that box," she said.

"Open the locker," he instructed. 

Squinting her eyes, she pushed the lock together, locking the door. "These are for lunch. I thought of baking a batch for people after the whole incident... Or maybe I'm just trying to buy my way in that I'm not—something bad," she awkwardly finished. 

"Well, I was at the incident," he nodded as if trying to hallucinate her into giving him a muffin.

"You already got muffins."

Rolling his eyes, he scoffed: "Maybe I want more..."

"You can get some at lunch."

Eros offered her a smile as a thank you, taking a moment to look at her. Only now did he realize that there was some intimacy the last time he had seen her. Now, she wore a sweater with a turtleneck and a puffy jacket as her hands were covered with gloves. He has seen such an intimate part of her – her scars and it made his body feel slight shivers. The wound on the left side of her face was covered, but he assumed that the stitches had been taken out. Her bruised cheekbone was slowly getting better.

Noelle felt small underneath his stare and she rarely felt small considering her height. She can be quite intimidating because of her frame. But whenever she looked at his eyes, his brown doe eyes... It took her breath away and she didn't know if he was—perhaps, admiring her? 

"Do I have buttercream on my nose?" She reminded him of the last time he was eating muffins.

Eros winced, "Don't remind me about that delicious buttercream..." Awakening himself out of his theatrical state, his face softened.

Noelle looked around them, seeing passing faces, who were looking with obvious confusion as to why Eros was talking with her after everything they knew. She frowned, shaking her head: "They're probably thinking what you are doing with me."

"Talking, as it seems," he shrugged.

Deadpanning, she rolled her eyes: "They probably think I'll give you my disease."

Squinting his eyes, he slightly leaned forward, pushing his shoulders forward: "Can you?" He joked.

Noelle itched with the desire to push his smug face away from her. "Keep looking and you'll find out." She walked away, moving towards class.

Eros bit the inside of his cheek and rushed to her, walking beside her: "And you're feisty."

"You're an idiot."

Gasping, he shook his head. "But you said I was a genius in biology?"

Turning to him, she regretted her decision that she told him that. "You can be a genius in many things, but not in life."

"How can you be a genius in life?"

Pushing her lips in a thin line, she nodded as if she was comforting him: "Continuez à essayer et vous verrez... Peut-être." 

Smugly, he grinned: "Have I told you that I find French hot?"

Feeling warmth spread around her face, she bit back her laughter: "Thank you. I'll never speak it in front of you again."

"Oh!" He suddenly skipped a step as if he just got an idea. Turning to the classroom door and covering the entrance for her so that she couldn't enter, he asked: "How about you talk about mitosis in French?"

"And please your weird fetishes?" She shook her head. 

"You know..." He pressed his hand to the wall, shifting his weight left and right. "I just won't let you pass through."

"I'll just switch the class."

"You can't switch math!" 

Noelle didn't have time to answer as she heard light running behind her and she turned to see Alice, moving towards them with wide eyes as if she was scared. "Eros!" She yelled out.

Eros moved away from the door as Alice ran to him and he placed his arms on her shoulders. "What did you see?"

Alice hesitated for a moment as she looked at Noelle and then at Eros. "She's here. Amara is here."

It felt like everything just crashed. Like the sheer moment of happiness that he felt beside Noelle crumbled into tiny shards. The pain, deep and hollow, stabbed him in his chest – he truly believed that Amara would change her mind and stay in Italy. She never tried to contact him all these years, why now? Why did she come back to torment him? What did she want from him? 

"Why is she here? Why is she in school?" Eros quickly asked as Jane always visited the Cullens at their house, to avoid suspicion because the Volturi clan did not practice animal diet. Their eyes shone bright red, and everyone could see that there was something not right with them. 

But Alice didn't even get the opportunity to answer as Eros closed his eyes, his shoulders slumping as he released Alice from his grasp. Shaking his head gently, it seemed like distant memories were crashing back into his mind – the pain mixing with pleasure, with that well-known obsessive love. Opening his eyes, he looked at Noelle, who was standing away from them, confused. 

Amara saw Noelle. 

"Thank you for telling me." He leaned forward, giving his sister a hug as a decoy as he whispered, lowly. "Tell Edward to watch Noelle."

Alice hummed as to show that she understood, hugging his brother back before pulling away, whispering: "Art."

Eros turned to Noelle, offering her a small wave: "I'll catch you during lunch." He moved away slowly. "I will want my muffin!" 

He didn't have time to take in her reaction that wasn't only made of confusion, but out of certain pain. He rushed to the art class as the bell rang loudly, urging the groaning students to get to their classes. As he reached the class, he opened the door, closing it right behind him. 

As he looked inside, he saw her. 

Something got stuck in his throat as he released the doorknob. He spent years imagining this moment. Seeing her again. His pathetic wish for her to come back, to apologize, to tell him that she loved him and needed him—he drank it every night as if it was medicine, essential for his survival. But these past few nights were calm – he didn't dream about her. And seeing her here, in an empty classroom full of art supplies and almost covered windows, made him want to wake up. 

"You won't say hello to me after all this time?" Her voice felt like a dagger in his chest. It seemed that it was even sweeter, more melodic. Her wide eyes were surrounded by long, black eyelashes, blinking innocently as if she had never left him. A smirk on her face, the one she always carried, was engraved in his mind and he wanted to get out of here. "Or are you that speechless to see me?"

It felt like her scent was suffocating him, poisoning his lungs, but he couldn't stop breathing in her presence. His eyes were stuck to her silhouette that was slowly coming closer to him. So much time he spent thinking about what he would tell her if he saw her again... But now it had all faded away. As her presence grew stronger, as her red eyes got closer, his heart was beating faster as there was only one thought left in his mind – she left him. 

"What do you want?" He managed to ask her, his voice trying to seem firm.

Amara chuckled, standing right in front of him, pressing her hand on his chest, feeling the way his heart was beating. The touch made him twitch, the memory of her touch flooding his mind: on his neck, on his chest, on his arms, everywhere... Tilting her head, she batted her eyelids innocently: "I came to see how you are." Tapping her fingers against his chest, she smiled. "How your heart is beating. How you are breathing. How warm you are..." Leaning forward, she pressed her hand harder, and he felt his eyes shutting. 

Amara was a gifted vampire. She had the ability to invoke memories for the person and herself to see. To dig deep. To make someone see they already have forgotten. 

Now, Eros felt a certain memory coming back into his mind. The way he was wiping blood off his mouth, stepping over a dead body. Amara stood beside another corpse, looking at him with curious eyes as he walked closer. She immediately lunged towards him, pressing her bloody lips against his, relishing the person's blood and his infinite devotion. He grasped for her, pulling her closer by her waist as if it was never enough. Her touch was a drug, stronger than human blood as her recognition was everything he needed. 

The memory was making him feel limp, feeling helpless by the memory that he had forgotten. As his mind started to fight back, regaining the strength of his limbs, he was pushed back into reality. His senses were pushing over the top as he felt her lips on his. It terrified him of how weak he felt beside her, of how he was unable to push her away, but there was a distant thought that ignited a bit of resistance to the magic of the enchantress. 

With a swift move, he pushed her away, grasping her neck and turning as he pushed her to the door, keeping her in place. He was looking at her, devouring her expressions, feeling the way his hand tingled on her neck from a single touch. But his mind yelled at him, kept him standing, bringing slow rage into his eyes.

She never loved him. 

"It's just a game to you, isn't it?" He slowly said, his voice rough. 

"I missed you," she purred. 

Squeezing her neck tighter, he pushed her head tighter to the door, watching the way her lioness curls bounced around her face. "Sure you fucking did," he gritted out. "Why don't you get back to Volturi and get out of my face?" He released her neck, taking a step back, not wanting to be close to her. 

Putting on a concerned expression, she placed her hand on her neck as if it were painful. "I came because I thought you missed me too."

"I didn't."

The concerned expression fell as if it was never there, a smirk tugging on her lips as she stepped closer to him, her high heels clacking on the floor. "I know you dream about me. I know you can barely survive without thinking about me... Oh, agapi mou, I know I've hurt you. But I needed time... To think about what was going on. To get on good terms with my brother's clan."

"Don't do this," he shook his head, feeling the way his heart wanted to give in to the sweet nickname. "Don't lie to me. You got bored."

"Oh, come now, Eros," she chirped, walking past him, closer to the windows. "All the burnings, the dead bodies – they get boring after some time. It gets—repetitive and then you need to stop."

"Is that why you are here?" He turned to her. "To tell me that you're not bored of me anymore? Hoping that I'll just forget what you've done and go with you?"

Amara turned to him with a wide smile: "Yes!" Clasping her hands behind her back, she walked to him, raising her head to meet his doe eyes. "I volunteered to visit you this time because I wanted to see how you were faring... But then... I got interested in something else..." She gently furrowed her eyebrows as if she was confused. "Noelle, isn't she?"

Eros felt as if he was struck by lightning, feeling the way his lungs ached with his exhale. So much for wanting to protect Noelle, when the real threat was standing right in front of him. "She has nothing to do with you," he lowly grumbled. 

Defensively raising her hands, she shook her head. He could notice Aro in her mannerisms. "How can a human be allergic to another human touch? It's... I couldn't wrap my head around it... How can something like that be even possible?" She sighed as if she wished to provide comfort for Noelle. "But then I read her medical files, and I was just—so much pain for a human girl," she said the last part with disgust. "Maybe... It's good that she's dying, isn't it?"

"What?" He immediately blurted out, his mind going blank. No one... No one told him that Noelle was dying. No one told him that Noelle was dying! "You're just trying to screw with my head."

Amara smirked, shrugging: "You can always ask Carlisle. I guess I'm the first one to tell you."

"Why do you care?" Eros didn't understand what was going on.

Coming closer to him, she gently placed her hand on his heart. She always did that. It was fascinating to her to feel a beating heart. "I knew that there would be time when you would start to move on. I always wondered who that person would be. I just wanted to celebrate with you the fact that I won't be getting rid of her. She's dying anyways."

Squinting his eyes, he lunged forward, pushing his hand on her neck as he slammed her onto one of the tables. The veins in his neck were popping, pulsing with anger as he pushed her face closer to his, looking at the brightness of her crimson eyes. "You won't touch her. She doesn't deserve it. She doesn't deserve to be involved in your games."

Amara smiled, looking at his angry expression, admiring his rage: "Getting worked up like this for a person you call a friend... Did you forget how much I enjoy your hand on my neck?" Looking down at his lips, she whispered, "You can go harder."

Releasing her immediately, he backed down, before she would try to bewitch him with distant memories. He shook his head, clenching his fists slightly: "I won't be playing in your games anymore, Amara. And you won't be putting innocent people in danger just because you're fucking bored. Now, go on, and get back to your beloved clan." He stormed out of the art classroom, quicker than he could even blink. 

Spotting Alice at the end of the hallway on the stairs, he rushed to her, nudging her to go upstairs. As they went to the second floor, he stopped in his steps, turning to her: "Is Noelle dying?"

author speaks—

amara, when I catch you, amara...

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