As office cleaners go, I'm very good, dusting 'ere and there.

And as for the piles of washing up, I always do me share.

Me mop is always wrung well out, me windows clean and bright

And often I be polishing, well into the night.

The toilets smell of lavender, with loo rolls blue or rose

So when you start to criticise, you get well up me nose.

"Oh Maureen," you say "there's dust on my chair and over there, a dead fly."

but I'd dusted it all yesterday carefully, so I'm wondering 'Oh why?'

"Perhaps you need glasses Maureen," ye say "Perhaps you cannot see."

but I can see so perfectly that 'You' are 'arrassing me!

So when you called me into yer office, it was no big surprise,

And I noticed, (oh yeah I noticed!) the cruel menacing look in yer eyes...

"Just a quick word Maureen, please sit and take off your coat."

I did as ye said, but recognised the haughty look and the awful gloat.

"It's time you retired Maureen, your work is not up to scratch."

"We're getting in new cleaners," he pointed to a file, "Some from this new batch."

I was rendered utterly speechless, me spirits they fell to the floor.

"Well that's okay, 'cos really" I said "I don't want to work 'ere no more."

"I've been unhappy for so long now," I cried "yer quarrel is 'eaven sent."

So picking up me coat and bag, as cleaners go......I went!

So you think that I will miss the job? NO, 'cos I got loads of money...

I'm taking a three week cruise with my old man, off to some place sunny!