Sam's POV

After Steele and Arnold left, I just sat there and didn't take my eyes off the curtain behind that Penny lay. I had hoped and feared that the doctor and his team behind it would be able to help Penny and not bring any bad news when they opened up. I would never be able to forgive myself if Penny's injuries were worse than they already seemed, if they would affect her in some way for the rest of her life, or perhaps still would cost her her life.

From the moment I found Penny, guilt pierced my heart. Seeing her lying there lifeless and bleeding, not knowing whether she would make it or not, had thrown my mind into turmoil as I desperately searched for her pulse, a sign that I wasn't too late. Tears had blurred my vision at the thought that I might never hear her laugh again, she might never tease me again, I might never be able to talk to her or even be close to her again. All variants of would, have had and if questions had flashed through my mind, no matter how much I knew that they were unnecessary and only hindered me, that nothing could be changed from what had happened thanks to my misjudgment.

Then Helen came, calmed me down by finally finding the pulse I longed for and slowed me down by wanting to send me away. But I didn't allow myself to be sent away. After everything I had done to Penny, it was the least I could do to stay with her and do everything I could to make her comfortable and survive this. I had come to this curtain. There they had stopped me to take care for her any longer and now all I could do was wait as the seconds felt like hours.

When the curtain moved again, I sat up straight, ready to go over and ask what was wrong with Penny as soon as it was pulled open. But it wouldn't and instead Helen came out from behind it and I slumped my shoulders again. However, she came purposefully towards me and I was almost afraid of bad news, but I couldn't see anything bad, although nothing good, in her look.

"Sam, can you show me Penny's locker? We need clean clothes for her," Helen turned to me and I immediately stood up.

"Sure." I led the way past Elvis and Krystyna, who were still sitting next to each other on the same lounger as me. A smile came to my face when I saw that Elvis had his arm around the pilot and she was resting her head on his shoulder. It didn't surprise me much. Elvis had made it clear from the first meeting with Krystyna how impressed he was with her and the two got along well straight away. Since then, they had been seen standing and talking together at every party, and even at the joint exercises, Elvis had always been close to her and hung on her every word when she had something to say. It was no wonder that the two seemed to find each other just now. The stress and all the worries that came with this huge forest and wildfire were simply too great. Everyone needed a little encouragement, comfort and support in a moment like this. I just wish I could have been that for Penny too. Instead, I had taken her seriously injured to the infirmary. "How is she?" I asked Helen on our way to the lockers, wanting to find out something, no matter how little it might be.

"She is stable and her wounds have been treated. I have washed her as much as possible and would like to re-clothe her. I think it is inappropriate to place her on a bed here at the station in just her underwear or a camisole. She still had a few smaller cuts on her back The shards of glass that embedded themselves in her jacket upon impact, but nothing serious. The wound on her leg is quite deep, but the doctor is confident that it won't leave her with any permanent damage. But he suspects that she might have broken two or three ribs, but we won't know anything more until Lizzie gets back with her mobile X-ray machine," she explained to me. We had now reached the locker and I opened the door to Penny's locker. Helen immediately began searching through her things, choosing the sweatpants from her tracksuit first, as the meaning of her words sank in.

"You use an X-ray machine from veterinary medicine?" I replied, puzzled, and Helen turned to me briefly, just shrugged her shoulders and continued looking for whatever.

"We don't have anything else at the moment and it's not possible to fly Penny to a hospital at the moment. We could organize an ambulance, but that could take a long time because the roads are impassable in places thanks to the large fire," she then explained to me and sighed in resignation. "There are no clean shirts left here," she then stated and I remembered that we had serviced and washed the vehicles the morning before the major fire broke out. Penny had just wanted to quickly change the exhaust clamps on Venus before flying with Krystyna to Newtown for maintenance and that's when it happened.

"That's right, she must have the clothes in the laundry. Elvis dumped a bucket of dirty water on Penny yesterday morning when she rolled out on the roller board while replacing Venus's exhaust clamps and Elvis overlooked her," I explained to Helen as I reached into my locker and pulled out one of my shirts. "Here. Take one of mine," I then offered her one and she accepted it with a smile.

"Sam?" I suddenly heard Arnold call out to me and I turned to him confused as he hobbled towards me. "Sam. Boyce wants to talk to you. He knows about the crash and isn't very happy."

"Who is that, Arnold? Certainly not me!" I replied to him, before thanking him for the message, apologizing briefly to Helen and going upstairs.

"Something's wrong, Sam. Someone called him and informed him about it, after which he apparently accessed the radio recordings. Then when Steele suggested that you had talked to him about it, he reacted so strangely and demanded to see you immediately ", my youngest colleague explained to me completely distraught on the way up and I turned to him again and gave him a quick reassuring pat on the shoulder.

I opened the door and walked in, only to step out again, unemployed, less than ten minutes later. I clenched my fists at my sides as soon as the door closed behind me. I sighed in resignation and went downstairs. I suspected that the loss of Fireswift would cause great upheaval and trouble for Boyce. He needed a scapegoat and what could I say? He had found it right in me. I had unwittingly withdrawn Fireswift and used it elsewhere. Someone had to hold their head and after what I had done to Penny and Krystyna, it was best if they couldn't fall victim to my bad decisions in the future again.

Back in the hall, I changed immediately and folded my uniform neatly and put it back in my locker, which would no longer be mine from now on. I didn't have much personal in it. A photo of Penny and me dancing together, a good luck charm she once gave me, and a book she recently lent me. I took everything out and closed the locker without any melancholy or sadness. I had failed and had almost cost the lives of two of my colleagues. I almost lost Penny because of it. This would never happen again! Never again should she have to fear being hurt because of one of my decisions! It all seemed so meaningless to me. The only thing that mattered was that Penny got well again.

I went back to the medical ward and saw that the curtain had now been opened. I immediately quickened my pace and looked down at Penny, who was still lying unconscious with an IV in her arm. She was pale and the few scratches on her face reminded me that they were the least of all the things I had done to her.

I looked up when I noticed movement and saw Helen pushing a chair up to Penny's lounger and inviting me to sit down with a smile and a wave of her hand. I did so, hesitating only a moment before placing my hand on Penny's. She felt warm, but lifeless.

I lifted her hand and held it in mine, pressing the back of her hand gently to my forehead to feel her and smell her scent. It only increased the guilt and worry even more, while I couldn't hold back the tears because everything was just breaking down on me. I knew she would never be able to forget that I had sent her to this hell. I understood, because I wouldn't either - just as I wouldn't ever forgive myself. No matter how slim the chances were that Penny and I could have had a future together, I knew that with my wrong decision I had betrayed her trust and shaken her to the depths, and she had certainly lost all faith in me. I just hoped she wouldn't turn away from me completely, because that would be my downfall.

"Uncle Sam?" a familiar voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I quickly wiped my eyes. My niece was too young to understand, but she understood the meaning of tears. She would inevitably be worried when she saw that I had been crying. She had never seen me cry.

"Hey, Sarah?" I replied with a smile and looked up at her. I saw the worry in her eyes when something in her arms caught my attention. "Why did you take the cat out of the box? You know it's too dangerous for her. What if she runs away, right ..." I started, but Sarah just hugged the cat a little more, as if she wanted to prevent me from taking her away from her. The cat herself just meowed quietly and Sarah placed it on Penny's blanket.

"Miss Pawdry has been crying terribly since you came back with Penny. I felt so sorry for her and look, she's happy now. I don't think Penny will complain about it," Sarah explained to me and we watched, as the cat carefully walked next to Penny's body over the blanket to her face to briefly rub her cheek with her own. I heard the cat purr softly before gently nudging Penny again.

"No, I don't think she will," I replied, knowing how much Penny liked animals and, above all, how quickly this stray cat had crept into her heart. "But the doctors and nurses certainly won't like that," I realized and looked around, but there was no one in sight. Only Helen was standing a few loungers away, checking on a wound of a fireman who had fallen on duty about 12 hours ago, if I remembered correctly. "A few minutes. Then we'll bring Miss Pawdry back, okay?" I finally said and looked at Sarah, who crossed her arms over her chest.

"Radar can be here too!" she simply replied and pointed to the Dalmatian who was lying next to me. I hadn't even noticed that he had come to me, I realized in surprise.

"But Radar is also a rescue dog and is always allowed to move freely around the station. You know how cheeky Miss Pawdry can be. If she gets bored, she might nibble on the tubes of Penny's IV or do anything else that could harm someone. That wouldn't be good," I explained to Sarah and she lowered her arms again and looked down at the floor in disappointment. I put my arm around her and pulled her close to cheer her up a little. She immediately snuggled up to me.

"Is it true what everyone here is whispering to each other?" she then asked after a moment of silence and she looked up at me.

"What is everyone whispering about?" I replied skeptically. Did she really want to know now, of all times, whether the rumors about Penny and me were true?

"That you lost your job because you were to blame for Fireswift's crash?" she then asked and I closed my eyes for a moment to take a deep breath before opening them again and looking down at Penny. It hurt so much to see her lying there while I wanted nothing more than to be able to swap places with her.

"Yes, Sarah. I'm afraid that's true," I admitted in a quiet voice.

"Why did you do that?" Her voice didn't sound accusatory, but rather confused. Still, her question hit me like a knife to the heart.

"Because I was hoping there would be enough time and everything would go well. Mike had a lot of fireworks in his shed that would have caused a huge explosion and made the fire even more dangerous."

"But the fireworks exploded. After the crash. We saw it."

"Yes, but not all at once and in an area where everything had already burned down. So it couldn't start any new fires."

"So was Fireswift supposed to crash there?"

"Oh, no, Sarah. Penny wanted to sink the fireworks into the sea, but unfortunately Fireswift didn't make it there when the propeller broke."

"But then it's not your fault, Uncle Sam. Then it was just an accident," she then stated.

"Unfortunately, Chief Fire Officer Boyce sees it a little differently, Sarah," I replied resignedly and decided to be honest with her. "And so do I."

"How do you see it?"

"It was my idea and that's why Penny is lying here now. I can't forgive myself for that."

"Will she forgive you?" I couldn't help but laugh quietly at her innocent question and at the idea of ​​how Penny would handle it. It warmed my heart again, if only for a brief moment.

"I don't know, but knowing her, probably yes."

"Then it's all right, Uncle Sam," she stated and I smiled weakly again at this simple childish logic. She put her head back on my arm and was silent for a moment, just like me. "Is it true what Mum and Dad are whispering about you two?" she then asked me without looking up at me.

"What are they whispering about us?"

"That you're in love," she said, and I couldn't answer her because I didn't know the answer - not Penny's side of it. "Do you love her, Uncle Sam?" Sarah then narrowed down the question as if she had readind my mind and I saw from the corner of my eye that she lifted her head again to look up at me.

"Yes, Sarah. Yes, I do," I confessed to her quietly.

"Does she know?" she asked me and I just shook my head gently. "Why don't you tell her?"

"Because sometimes it's better to keep such a good friend than to lose someone you love just because she doesn't love you back."

"You adults are so complicated! This is demanding," she then stated and I looked at her only to see her wrinkle her nose in disapproval.

"Yes, Sarah, I believe you that," I replied, laughing softly before giving her a quick hug. "Thank you!"

"For what?"

"For cheering me up a bit!"

"You're welcome, Uncle Sam. I'll take Miss...Where's Miss Pawdry?" she asked alarmed, staring down at Penny. I followed her gaze and swallowed hard. Now the cat was gone too. Hopefully she didn't do anything wrong. What would be worse that Penny would really hate me if her beloved Miss Pawdry ran away while I was in charge or her - even if it was forced.

Sarah was already on her knees looking under the lounger and I was about to get up to get a better view and see if there wasn't a brown shadow flitting across the hall somewhere when something under Penny's blanket caught my attention. I carefully lifted the blanket and the cat actually blinked at me with its deep blue eyes, meowed briefly and laid its head down again. She had snuggled into Penny's side and obviously wanted to stay there. I understood her and wished for a moment that I could switch places with her.

"Here she is, Sarah," I reassured my niece, who was now checking under the neighboring lounger, calling softly for the cat and causing a colleague who was lying on it to look at her in confusion. Sarah immediately came back to me and also took a cautious look under the blanket. "Leave her here. I'll keep an eye on her and bring her back if she gets bored," I told her with a smile and Sarah immediately beamed from ear to ear.

"Thanks, Uncle Sam! Miss Pawdry feels much more comfortable with Penny than in the box," Sarah answered me and went to James, who was calling her to help him distribute food.

I continued to think, still looking a little jealously at the spot where Miss Pawdry was hiding under the blanket, snuggled up to Penny. James eventually brought me a bowl of soup and even though I couldn't eat it, my nephew insisted that I should. He hadn't really left yet when I offered the bowl to Radar, who didn't take long to ask and Miss Pawdry also stuck her head out from under the blanket. Radar looked up at the cat and that was enough for the cheeky animal to stick her head in the bowl and eat the rest of the soup herself. With a whine and his saddest look, Radar looked up at me and I couldn't help but smile.

"That's just how it is, Radar. Women and children always come first."

"I don't think that applies to soup and animals!" I jumped when I heard that all too familiar voice, weak and quiet, but I had been waiting so longingly for it.

"Penny!" I said, surprised when I saw that she had finally woken up. I couldn't help the smile that crept across my face and watched with joy as she did the same before placing a hand on my wrist, that was still holding the bowl of soup. Miss Pawdry didn't allow herself to be disturbed at all as she happily licked the last drop from the bottom of the bowl - not even when I placed my other hand on Penny's, happy that she was still seeking for closeness. "Hey, sleepyhead!" I teased her a little to cheer her up a bit and she flashed me a grin.

"That's what our morning grouch says," she immediately teased back and even though her voice still sounded weak and quiet, I knew that everything would be okay again. I quickly placed the bowl on a small table next to me and poured some water into a glass for Penny to offer her something to drink. She willingly let me help her, as she had helped me when I woke up after my first mission. "How do I get here? What happened?" she then asked me as I laid her head back into the pillow carfully with one hand I had supported her neck while drinking.

"You crashed with Fireswift. Krystyna said you couldn't get out because of the propeller explosions."

"Oh, right. Is Krystyna okay?" she immediately asked with concern and I didn't know whether I should be surprised at her concern for others or whether she had really forgotten for a moment what had happened to her.

"Better than you, anyway. Why didn't you have had your helmet on?"

"The first explosion tore it off my head," she replied simply, turning her head a little, but immediately sucked in air between her teeth with a hiss as she obviously put pressure on the wound on the back of her head with the new layer. I had instinctively stretched out my hands to stop her, but I wasn't quick enough and yet I completed the movement. I gently put my hand back on her neck to lift her head off the pillow enough for her to let the pain sink in and gave her time to think about how she wanted to lay her head down again. Our eyes met and she gave me a grateful smile that I couldn't return as I gently let her head sink back into the pillow, facing me.

"I should have been there to protect you," I replied sadly, speaking my thoughts out loud as the pain in my heart threatened to tear it apart. Watching Penny in pain was even harder than I imagined.

"I'm glad you weren't there. I feel like I've been run over," she sighed quietly.

"You wouldn't believe how glad I am that you survived that. You scared the shit out of me, Penny," I argued quietly as I put her hand between mine again, antagonizing Miss Pawdry about stopping Penny from continuing to pet the cat's head as she had been doing until now. The cat meowed at me and I would swear it sounded like it was protesting.

"Sam! Such a phrase in your vocabulary?" Her face twisted into a teasing grin and I couldn't help the smile, however tight it might have been. Her eyes moved to her hand in mine and became serious again before she continued. "I didn't have had time to think about it or get scared. It all happened so quickly. All I could think about was that we had to get to safety and when I realized that it was too late, the impact came," she continued quietly and her eyes were obviously lost in memory because she seemed transported. A slight shiver ran through her and I stroked the back of her hand with my thumb as her grip on my hand tightened a little.

"Then don't start thinking about it now. You survived. That's all that matters," I said well to her and a smile appeared on her face again.

"Yes. That's it, isn't it?" she replied, starting to notice something she didn't seem to have noticed before - the bandage on my hand. "What happened to your hand?"

"Burned and cut as I was looking for you while climbing through the plane," I replied with a shrug. It was so irrelevant. I didn't even notice it anymore. It was a small evil for what I had done to Penny. I should actually burn in hell for that or something like that. Unfortunately, that wouldn't ease her pain or take away any of her wounds.

"How bad is it, Sam?" she immediately asked me worriedly and I just shook my head with a smile to reassure her. Since she was awake she had shown concern for Krystyna and then me. She hadn't even once asked about her own injuries. "What did I have?" As she had read my mind!

I told her how I had found her and what injuries I had seen Helen had treated. I told her what Helen had told me about her current condition and that they wanted to x-ray her using Lizzie's x-ray machine. Just as I was wondering about that, Penny wrinkled her nose unenthusiastically, which caused us both to laugh briefly.

"I'll take care of you, Penny. I'll pamper you to the fullest until you're back on your feet and your wounds are completely healed. I promise you that," I then finished my report and she looked at me confused and a little embarrassed, while a light blush covered her cheeks. I wish it was for another reason, but knowing Penny, she was just uncomfortable with someone making such a fuss about her. She had no idea how much more valuable she was to me. I would love to carry her on my hands every day and wrap her in cotton wool and bed her on roses at night - she deserved no less, more on the other hand much more.

"You don't have to, Sam. I'll manage somehow. I..."

"Don't argue! Didn't you already agree to live with me until your house is habitable again?" I objected seriously and gave her my best 'no argument' look, even though I knew full well that of all my colleague, it worked the least with her. I thought right, because she just smiled in amusement. Penny was the only one I didn't blame for not always taking my authority seriously. We knew when to doubt each other's opinions and when it was important, sometimes even vital, to respect them. "It's the least I can do for you, after all the guilt..." I saw her look became thoughtful as I spoke, but I didn't get to finish when a small cry came from someone next to me, startling me. However, I didn't let go of Penny's hand and felt that she too jumped in shock.

"What is that?!" the doctor asked in horror as he came to us, following the call of the shocked nurse, and pointed to the cat, which was just about to try to hide under Penny's blanket again from the commotion that had arisen .

"Alternative healing method?!" I tried with an embarrassed smile and scratched the back of my head while Penny laughed quietly.

"And it works extremely well, I see!" Helen said with a grin as she and Lizzie drove up a device that looked like one of Joe's inventions on wheels. I felt instantly sick before she reached for Miss Pawdry and thrust the cat into my hands.

"Is that one of the Sparkmasters 2000-whatever?"

"For an X-ray? Are you crazy? I don't want to start a nuclear war!" Lizzie replied with a grin and I breathed a sigh of relief while I heard Penny laughing softly again. Our eyes met for a moment and I couldn't help but smile before I was shooed out again with the cat and dog and the curtain was drawn in my face.

"Looks like you'll have to settle with me for now, girl!" I turned to the cat and received a quiet mewl in response before, to my surprise, she rubbed her face against my cheek. Purring, she laid herself in the crook of my arm while I sat down and used my other hand to stroke Radar's head, who sat back down next to me while I set my sight on the curtain again.

A strange feeling in the back of my neck made me look behind me and I spotted Collin leaning against the wall next to the stairwell door. My eyes immediately narrowed to slits as I realized he was watching me, his gaze as focused and skeptical as mine was at that moment. How long had he been watching me and, above all, why?

I now knew with absolute certainty that he had been the one to tell Boyce about Fireswift's crash before Steele could do it himself, although I couldn't quite figure out why. After being mean to Penny out in the field and then abandoning her, after he pushed her away in Fireswift to save his own skin, I knew that this was his revenge, to pay back at me for leaving him behind and not having him taken with us immediately after the crash. I couldn't understand how a person could be so selfish, characterless and treacherous and, above all, why. What was the point of being like that? Definitely not making friends.

Nevertheless, I turned back to the curtain and punished Collin with ignorance. I was no longer interested in him. I was discharged and already a civilian at this fire station, and Penny was injured. Neither of us had to work with him again while he was still here, which meant he almost certainly couldn't cause us any more trouble.

To be continued...