"YOU'RE A LOT MORE STUPID THAN I THOUGHT SMART."

•

"I MISSED THIS — US. ME AND YOU AND SOME ICE CREAM. I REALLY DID."

E L L E

IT WAS STRANGE. The expression I seen my sister have that today, the way she looked like she was about to cry. It hurt me. I haven't seen her like that in a while. We hadn't even been in Cousins for three hours and Conrad was already doing what he does best. Making my sister cry. Id shake my head crossing my arms as he'd turn to listen to belly babble off about god knows what instead of listening to my sisters plead for attention. It's not like she just now started pleading to him — it's been three years since she last heard from him. He was her best friend — her first love. She really needed him. I love belly — more than anything. She's my best friend. But she's too naive to see how she's hurting the people around her.

Id clear my throat. "Real nice, Connie." Id shoot him a glare before Id walk out to the back patio. I was happy to see Steven and her laughing while dipping their feet into the water. She wasn't focusing on his dickish tendencies. She was chatting with someone who genuinely cared for her. And if she didn't notice it she was naive too. She'd hear the door close and turn her to me.

"Oh, Elle!" She'd smile bright getting back up to her feet, Steven would follow. "We're about to go surfing — do you and Jeremiah wanna go get ice cream or something? It is hot outside." I'd look at Steven who had a devious smirk on his face and I'd chuckle.

"Why not." I'd shrug. "Let me go get my bathing suit and ask Jeremiah." She'd clap her hands together happily. If anything would make her feel better after Conrad's outbursts it was surfing. She loved the ocean. And the water in general. Maybe that's why she loved blue so much — it made her blue brown doe eyes pop, with her little curls bouncing as she tried to steady herself on a board. She reminded me of that one Barbie movie where she has pink highlights and was a mermaid. She always hated me saying that — cuz she knows I was right.

Id walk back into the house before stepping into the living room, tapping Jeremiah's shoulder. He was busy on the couch playing CALL OF DUTY with his brother. "Yeah? What's up?" He'd pause the game to turn and look at me, Conrad throwing his hands into the air in frustration. I would've been a liar if I said I didn't want to laugh — instead I smiled out of pure respect for the little gamer dweeb my sister was madly in love with.

"Wanna go get some ice cream? Rae and Steven are gonna go shred some waves." Jeremiah's face would brighten instantly. He'd hop over the back of the couch running up the stairs in a hurry.

"Dude — what about our game?" Id shrug.

"Maybe next time, tutz." He'd roll his eyes before turning the console off.

"When did they decide on going surfing?" Id cock my eyebrow.

Again. He is yet again lucky my sister loves him — I would go off on him like the true raging bitch I can be, but I won't. For respect of my sister and Susannah.

"I don't know. Probably after you ignored my sister?" His face. It was shocking to say the least. He didn't know if he should say something or stay quiet. He probably didn't know I seen them talking, the way he grew distant once Isobel walked into the room. I see everything.

"I didn't mean it like that, Elle." Id roll my eyes walking into the hallway waiting for Jeremiah by the stairs. Conrad would follow.

"I don't care what you meant, Connie. She's my little sister."

"By three minutes." Id squint my eyes and glare at him and he'd put his hands up in surrender.

"She's still my sister. If you don't want her tell her that, you've been doing this for years Connie. When Belly doesn't want you it's always — 'let's go see if Renae will take me in like a lost puppy.'" Jeremiah would run down the stairs with the same quirky smile on his face.

"You ready?" Id smile softly.

"As I'll ever be." Jeremiah would run out the front door — meeting Steven with an arm wrapped around him as he'd chat with Rae.

Id look at Conrad one more time before I left leaving him with one more piece of information. "If you didn't know she loved you since she was six....maybe you're a lot more stupid than I thought you were smart."

***

Getting out of the jeep — Renae would grab her surfboard off the top before running full speed ahead towards the water. Steven would chuckle before grabbing his board and running after her.

"Hey, wait up!" Jeremiah would chuckle at the sight. It was just like when we were kids. Always running after her as she ran into danger.

We'd follow the trail by the beach's parking lot leading us to the board walk. Children's happy screams from the fair rides echoed our ears while fair games went off over and over. It was music to my ears, just listening to the sounds. Smelling the smells. This was what happiness felt like.

"So what first? Ice cream or elephant ears?" Id scratch my chin as if I had a beard and he'd chuckle softly.

"Elephant ears." He'd nod.

"Good choice. Gotta save the best for last." He'd look at me through the corner of his eye with a devious grin. "Whoever gets there first picks ice cream?" Id glare at him as he had a head start.

That didn't last long though — I wasn't an athlete for nothing. I'd run full speed past him before tapping the side of the elephant ear stand, almost losing my balance.

He'd groan before bending down to catch his breath. Putting his finger up to tell me to pause. "Oh god you got faster. You monster."

Id giggle. "No, Jere — you just need to work on that stamina of yours." He'd roll his eyes before standing beside me in line.

He smelt like he always did. Is that weird — that I'm smelling my best friend and thinking it smells...good? He smelt like that one old spice. The one that most guys don't wear. It smelt like heaven. The wilderness. Musk. It was hard to explain but I loved being smothered by the insane amount he put on each day.

"Two ears please." He'd give a toothy smile to the cook before handing the money over. Walking to the side he'd look down at my dazed expression. "Hey — you don't seem to be here like at all. Are you good?"

He'd grab the elephant ears pouring powdered sugar and honey on mine before doing the same to his, setting our paper bowls on the picnic table.

Id nod. "Nope — I'm all good." Id lick my lips before taking a big bite out of the elephant ears. The sweet dough, the thick honey, and the powdered sugar all coming together.

"Hey so — your sister told me you and Nic broke up."

Great. I get to talk to Jere about my boy problems. Not that he can't be all 'slay pussy girl boss queen'. It's just weird. Why would I talk to him about the boys I like? I don't know how to explain how awkward it made me feel.

"Yeah...." Id sigh taking another bite, he'd do the same getting powdered sugar and honey all over his face with a smile. "You're so messy, Jere."

He'd shrug. "I can't help it. I wanted to sit here and eat with you for god knows how long."

"Three years four months and twelve days." Id look down shyly taking the last few bites before looking up. He was surprised to know I remembered that date. Our friend-anniversary.

"Damn, Elle. You remembered?" He'd chuckle. "Wanna know what I remember?" Id shrug throwing my paper plate into the trash beside the table.

"No but I'm sure you'll tell me." He'd nod.

"Every time I went to text you on instagram or snap, I've always seen you with that Nicolas dude. It kind of hurt. Not talking. I mean yeah we talked here and there but not like how we used to. I missed this. Us. I missed eating ice cream and elephant ears with you. I really did, and that's all I can remember for the past three years. That urge to show up at your door and take you out to just talk like we used to." He'd chuckle.

"Pretty stupid isn't it?"

Is this how belly felt around Conrad when she noticed how she felt? Is this how confused her heart was? How his confusing words stuck like the sticky rice Laurel made?

Id shake my head. "No. It's pretty accurate." I felt my cheeks brighten, if steam were only to emit from my skin I'd turn into a robot overheating. I was unsure of what to say other than that. I would've loved that more than anything? Yeah that doesn't sound right. "If you wanted to talk to me— you should've known I would've always been waiting for you to reach out." Id smile softly at him, he'd shake his head with a toothy grin.

"At least I know you're a real one." It was almost like reflex. My eyebrows furrowed almost instantly.

"A — A real what exactly?" He'd shrug.

"A true friend, Elle. I always know to count on you, even if it's girl drama—- or guy drama you'd help because I can be reckless sometimes without you." The words were sweet, and well thought of. But the issue was it wasn't what I wanted to hear. Not that I even really knew what I wanted to hear.