Epilogue: Sometimes When You Fall, You Fly

“The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all.” 

—  Walt Disney Company

Wesley and I walk into the door of my new dorm and I huff a sigh, kicking the door closed and dropping the heavy brown box in the corner. Wesley chuckles quietly and does the same thing, placing my last moving-in box on the floor along with the six other boxes. What can I say? I don’t exactly travel lightly. Expelling a huge sigh of relief, I drop down on my new—  and not so comfortable—  four-poster bed, wiping a thin layer of sweat from my forehead.

“That was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life,” I wail breathlessly.

“If packing boxes into a car is the worst thing you ever done in your life, then, you, my friend, need to live more,” He teases me, sitting down next to me on the bed. Well, sort of. He pushes his back against the wall since this is a four-poster bed and obviously has no headboard or anything like that. Then he lifts me up and I rest my head in his life comfortably while Wesley wraps his arm around me.

“You’re so funny,” I sarcastically mumble, running my fingers through my hair.

“I know I am,” Wesley pipes with a boyish grin.

It’s August and therefore, about time for Wesley and me to commence our first year of college. And believe it or not, but we’re doing just that as a couple of Blue Raiders. Middle Tennessee State University Blue Raiders, to be exact. So, yeah, we both got accepted here to the school here in Tennessee, which is pretty amazing. I wouldn’t have minded going back to California for college—  since Wesley has convinced me through ridiculous amounts of persistence that I need to go—  but only he was accepted at the school in San Francisco.

Not that I was ever expecting to be accepted there. Hell, I’m lucky I got in here at MTSU. It’s a pretty nice school, I think. They do this weird thing where the incoming freshman have to come two weeks before the school year resumes so that they can like, learn their way around and stuff. Wesley’s dorm is about five minutes away from mine in Dexter Hall and he’s technically not supposed to be in here after like, 7 o’clock, but we break that rule a lot.

“So, are you ready for college to start?” I wonder randomly.

“Not exactly,” He sighs, shaking his head. “My roommate’s a slob and I’m too lazy,” Wesley complains.

“These are thing you have to consider before applying,” I remind him in a singsong voice as I climb over him and out of my bed.

“Where’re you going?” Wesley wonders curiously.

“I’m just gonna start unpacking because if I don’t do it now, it won’t get done until Christmas,” I say, walking over to my stacked boxes and picking a box cutter up from the desk that I’ve reserved as mine. I’ve only briefly met my roommate and she was with her parents or something, so it was just a really quick hello and stuff like that. Her name is Lila and she’s apparently English, so that’s cool. At least, I think that she’s British. Either that or she just decided to put on a fake accent, but it sounded pretty authentic to me. For the most part though,  she seems like a nice girl.

“You want some help?” My adorable boyfriend offers, sitting up in my bed.

“I’ll be alright, plus I need to call my parents soon and endure a lecture on the do’s and don’ts of college,” I sigh exasperatedly.

“Okay then,” Wesley laughs, standing up from my bed and pulling his shirt back on. He claims that he only took it off because the heat outside is enough to boil an egg on the sidewalk—  literally—  and since we were doing a lot of walking back and forth to our cars to bring our boxes into our dorms, I guess he got hot. Not that I really care what his excuse is, I was just happy to be able to look at his lovely abs. “I’m gonna go to the dining hall and eat as much as I possibly can before I have to go back and see Creepy Cameron,” He explains, referring to his roommate who’ve I’ve met like, twice since we’re been here, Cameron Madoff or something like that. Wesley crosses the room and bends down kissing me on the top of my head. “I’ll call you later, yeah?”

I nod in agreement, giving him a small smile. “Okay, I’ll be here,” I assure him, pulling some mementoes  out of the box. “I love you,” I add just because I can and because I do  I love him and he loves me.

“I love you back, Steffy,” Wesley replies with a chuckle before pulling the heavy dorm room door open and walking out of the room.

When Wesley’s gone, I’m all alone, which I don’t really mind as much as I used to. I used to hate being alone and just by myself. I don’t know why, but it just unnerved me. It gives me a lot of time to think now though, so that’s good, I guess. I giggle to myself quietly as I pull out Thomas and Jace—  the monkey and purple gorilla that Wesley won me a little over a year ago at that county fair that we went to when I had just moved here. I place the two stuffed animals on the foot of my bed and then continue pulling stuff out of the memento box.

I do that for a while, about twenty minutes until I hear the familiar shrill of Skye, my laptop ringing from where it’s resting on my desk. I’m not sure who it is that could be Skyping me since Wesley just left and everyone else I communicate with talks to me over the phone or via text message, but I stand to my feet nevertheless and walk over to my MacBook Pro, making the screensaver—  a picture of Wesley and me and all our friends at graduation a few months ago—  go away and the screen comes up. When I read the identity of the caller, a wide smile comes over my face and I plop down in my swivel chair, accepting the call.

“Spencer!” I exclaim as my brother’s face comes onto the screen and he’s not alone. Sitting right beside him is Madison. It’s been a year and two months since they moved away from Tennessee and to California and as far as I know, they’re still very much in love, which is just so beautiful and magical, I think. They’re really mushy though—  like, even more so than my boyfriend and me, which I like to make fun of my brother for. “And Madison!” I add gleefully.

“Steffy!” Spencer mocks, a small smile on his face as Madison waves happily. “How’re you?” He asks.

“I’m great,” I truthfully inform him. “Wesley and I finished moving into our dorms today,” I explain, gesturing behind me.

“That’s great, you know, I really am proud of you for going to college,” Spencer notifies me.

“Well, Wesley was really, really persistent near the middle of senior year and I realized that the model thing was kind of stupid, well, for now at least. I guess I just understood that it’d probably be in my best interest to get a college degree first,” I expound. “No offense, Madison,” I add quickly, mentally slapping myself for not being more careful with my words.

Like I said, Spencer and Madison left here a year ago and Madison’s now like, an aspiring model, I guess. I mean, it’s nothing more than a few shoots here and there every now and again, but she’s doing it and from what she tells me, she really loves it. That’s good though, because Madison’s already really smart and while she doesn’t physically go to college, she’s enrolled in online classes at UCLA—  The University of California at Los Angeles. Spencer’s in college too, obviously and he’s about to start sophomore year at UCLA, only he actually goes there since he’s a full-time student.

I don’t want to be a model anymore anyways, I don’t think. I think since I’m going to college, I might as well take advantage of it. So, for right now, I’m just going to say that I want to be a Virologist and if you don’t know what a Virologist is, it’s a microbiologist that works in the field of virology and study viruses. I just think that’d be a really cool thing for me to do with my life.  

“None taken,” Madison assures me with a grin, waving her hand dismissively.

“Have you seen grandmother lately?” Spencer asks me randomly, changing the subject.

“Not since about a week ago,” I shrug. “I mean, I was clearing out the rest of my things earlier today but she wasn’t there,” I explain. I wouldn’t say that my grandmother and I are close or anything now, but we’re not in as awful a place as we were when we first moved here. I mean, yeah, she still makes me wake up early and do chores and stuff—  well, not anymore since I’ve officially moved out. The year that I lived with her alone was a little peaceful, I guess. Sometimes we have civilized talks about school and Wesley and she came to my graduation, which I wasn’t expecting, but she did.

She really does get on my nerves and I think that she hates me because not once since we came back here a year ago has she told me that she loves me, but that’s okay. My mother doesn’t really tell me it either, but I’m gonna make damn sure that when I have kids I tell them every single day—  maybe even multiple times a day—  that I love them and how much they mean to me.

Yeah, my dad tells me that he loves me and of course Wesley does and so does Spencer, but having that maternal love would be nice. I don’t let it get me down though because I don’t care too much about what either my grandmother or my mother think of me. As far as I’m concerned, the nicest thing that my grandmother ever did for me was let me stay with her when Spencer and Maddie left and I’m sure that was only so someone could continue doing the chores.

“Why do you ask?” I wonder curiously.

“No reason, it’s just that she must be lonely now,” Spencer tells me.

“Probably,” I shrug uncaringly. “She has the horses and cows and all that good stuff though,” I remind him. “Enough about that witch though. What about you? How’s life been treating you?” I wonder with a happy sigh. And so that’s what he does. He and Madison tell me all about their lives in Los Angeles and how everything’s all perfect and stuff. The two of them even are staying together. Like, not in a real house or anything, they’re just living in the guest house behind my parents’ main house.

It’s really weird saying my parents’ house, but I can’t call it mine because I don’t live there. I don’t even know what it looks like, because I really haven’t been to California since the move. It’s not that I can’t go, because I can, I have the money, I just don’t want to. My parents started giving me a monthly allowance budget thing and that comes in the form of a credit limit on my credit cards. That’s the main thing that changed, because at first, I had no credit limit. All of my card balances are added together though and once I’ve spent $5,000, it cuts off and I can’t use any cards to buy anything else.

That’s a lot of money a month though, I think but I never spend it all, usually I only buy junk food and clothes so I mostly have around $3,500 left at the end of the month. And believe it or not, I, Stephanie Vandergeld, actually have a job. Like, a real job where I go a few days a week and do work in exchange for money. It’s so legit it’s unbelievable. It’s just at the school bookstore, but it’s a job nonetheless.

We don’t stay on video chat for too long, mostly because all three of us have summer work to finish before college officially begins in a few days. For freshmen anyway. I don’t know about Spencer but he’s such a geeky nerd that he probably has a book or something to read. That makes a little hypocritical though, I guess, because I recently realized that reading actually doesn’t suck and it’s a little bit entertaining, so I do it from time to time now.

“What time is it there?” I wonder after we pass the twenty-five minute mark.

“It’s only 7:30 and now it’s time for dinner, so we’ll call you later, okay?” Spencer tells me.

“Okay, bye guys,” I reply with a small smile, glancing down at the clock and seeing that it’s 9:30 here.

“Bye Steffy,” They sing in unison, waving at me. The call ends then and I smile to myself before exiting off of Skype. I’m about to close my laptop, but the Yahoo! Messenger thingy pops up and informs me that I have a new e-mail, so I decide to check it before I finish unpacking. I quickly go to my e-mail and my eyes widen slightly when I see that the e-mail is from Conrad.

If you’re wondering what Conrad’s been doing, I’ll tell you that it’s pretty cool, but also extremely scary. After graduation in June two months ago, Conrad unsystematically informed us all that he’d enlisted in the Marine Corps, which was absolutely crazy to me. In fact, it was so crazy that I thought that he was just joking. He wasn’t though, obviously because that’s where he is now. Afghanistan, that’s where he’s at right now, I believe. We don’t talk much now on account of him being stationed overseas, which is why I’m surprised that there’s an e-mail.

Hey Steffy,

I think that college starts soon there and I just wanted to tell you that I’m super proud of you for going. I’m really glad that we became such good friends senior year because despite how valley girly you are, you are pretty amazing. Wesley’s really lucky to have you and make sure that he treats you well. Not that I don’t think he won’t, but if he doesn’t, then just shoot me an e-mail and I can be there in like two weeks. I’m serious. Anyway, in case you’re wondering, life doesn’t suck as much as you kept telling me that it would here in Afghanistan. It’s really hot though and I’m so lazy so all this training shit is killing me. But I like it. I have a five year enlistment, I don’t think I told you that, but I do. So, I guess that when I’m coming home. I don’t know because I didn’t do that much research because I think we both know that I don’t think before I do anything. So, yeah, I just wanted to say hi and tell you that I miss you and spread the word. I only get one e-mail tonight, which is super dumb, but I guess I can’t complain. I have some leave time, I think, so maybe I’ll come home around Christmas or something like that. Anyway, I have to go now because my bunkmates are dicks and they’re complaining about the light from the computer.

So, I’ll see you soon, valley girl.

- Conrad

I chuckle at his e-mail and then type a quick reply before closing my laptop. Conrad and I did become really great friends once I got past his annoying childish antics and I proud to say that’s all we ever were. Seriously, he’s like my brother. Mostly because I have complete faith that one day Spencer and Madison will one day tie the knot and I think that’ll make Conrad my brother-in-law or something since Maddie will be my sister-in-law. Besides, Conrad actually found a girl that’s almost as crazy as he is and they’ve been dating for a while now. Her name is Elizabeth and she goes to LSU—  Louisiana State University and she’s a really nice girl, at least, I think she is. Wesley’s not so found of her but he won’t tell me why not.

Speaking of Louisiana State, that’s where Laurel and Jimmy are. They’re still together, I think, but they’re always on and off again, so I can’t be for sure. They left for Louisiana about a month ago, but we still talk a lot. Laurel and I, I mean because I don’t have any reason to talk to Jimmy, really. As for Benjamin, Anna Grace and Carly, they’re all doing their own things as well. Carly and her new boyfriend, Aaron, are both students here at MTSU and Carly’s dorm is only down the hall from mine and I think that Aaron’s in Dexter Hall. Then there’s Benjamin and Anna Grace who’re a couple now and they’re in Texas for college, Baylor, actually. Ben went here last year, to MTSU, but Anna Grace wasn’t accepted here, so he transferred to Baylor, which is where they were both accepted. He’s going to be a sophomore and Anna Grace is obviously going to be a freshman. So, that’s how everyone else is doing.

I haven’t heard from that troll Samuel in so long, so I don’t know how he’s doing. Nor do I care. I did read in the newspaper a few weeks ago though that his parents cut him off when he told them that he didn’t want to continue the family tradition by going to Dartmouth University. From what I heard they literally stopped all association with him and they don’t give him money anymore. As if he’s not even their son anymore, which I’d feel a little bad for him about if he wasn’t such a disgusting pig who deserves every bad thing that comes his way. No, I’m not still mad at him, I mean, it’s been a year, but that doesn’t mean that I like him or anything, because I don’t. Not at all.

Standing to my feet, I push my swivel chair in and then go over to my dresser where I’ve stored a few of my clothes. I hear the door open as I collecting a pair of pajamas and instinctively look over my shoulder, seeing Lila walk into the room. I think that she went to the cafeteria to have dinner or something, but she was gone for quite some time.

“Hey Lila,” I greet politely, closing my drawer.

“Hi Stephanie,” She replies, sitting down on her bed. I don’t know why, but she just insists on calling me by my full first name. Not that I really mind or anything but I’ve told her countless times that she can just call me Steffy. “I brought some biscuits back because they’re like, the best things ever. Would you fancy one?” She wonders, and I almost squeal over how lovely her accent is. I’ve only been to England a few times but each time I was fawning over the people there because their accents are just beautiful. At least, in London, because that’s where I went to.

“A cookie?” I ask, raising an eyebrow, mentally patting myself on the back for reading my American English / British English book.

“Oh, yeah, right, a cookie.” Lila laughs, holding up the little box that they’re in.

“Sure, thanks,” I laugh heartily. “I’m gonna go and take a shower now, so I’ll be back soon,” I inform my roommate before leaving.

Lila nods in understanding and places the cookies on my bed as I leave the room, making sure that I have my key and toothbrush. I make my way down the hallway to where the showers are and go in, thankful that it’s empty for the most part. I just feel weird taking showers when they’re all in here. I mean, I know we’re all girls and whatnot, I’m just so weird and awkward that I can’t handle it. I mean, I can, I just prefer not to. Wesley and I’ve been moving stuff into our dorms all day though so I’m really sweaty and stinky, which is why I’m just now about to shower. I quickly strip out of my clothes and jump under a shower turning it on.

I don’t stay under the warm water for very long mostly because it starts getting hot with all of the heated water running and once I’m finished, I towel off and get dressed before going through the door that separates the showers from the sinks and toilet stalls. I brush my teeth quickly and then pull my hair up into a messy bun atop my head before leaving the bathroom and going back down the hall to my room.

I unlock the door and go back in, letting it fall behind me then toss my clothes in my dirty clothes hamper and placing my toothbrush down on my desk in its little protector thingy. Quietly, I walk back over to my four-poster bed and pick the little box of cookies courtesy of Lila up and put them on my desktop table. I’m sort of an oral hygiene freak, like, I had braces as a child so I’m a little precautious about brushing and flossing and I do it religiously and I make sure to never eat after brushing my teeth. Not unless it’s like, gum or something like that. Then again, you don’t eat gum, you chew it.

Glancing over at Lila, I see that she’s already got her bedside lamp turned off and she’s out like a lamp. Since living with her for the few days that it’s been since Wesley and I got here, I’ve observed that she falls asleep really quickly. In like, five minutes, which is crazy, I think. Granted, she’s active and does like, softball and swimming and track so I guess that all probably tires her out since they let us do whatever sports we want to as a part of orientation for those of the students who’re gonna go out for the college team once class starts for everyone in two weeks.

My phone pings on my bedside table and I pick it up, seeing a text from Wesley. It’s already almost a quarter ‘til ten and he left at around 9 o’clock, so he hasn’t been gone too long, really. I unlock my iPhone and go to the text to re-read and reply to it.

Creepy Cameron is being…well, creepy. So, I’m going to sleep. Goodnight and I looooove you.

I giggle at my boyfriend and I almost feel bad for him being stuck with this so called ‘Creepy Cameron’.

Well, good luck with your weird roommate. Mine is amazing and loves me which is why she brought me cookies. Goodnight and I looooove you too.

I send the message and then lock my phone again, connecting it to the charger. I didn’t call my parents, but now I don’t feel like it and I don’t wanna disturb Lila, so I’ll just call my father tomorrow and hope that I can catch him when he’s at work and not at home so I don’t have to talk to my and Spencer’s birth giver. Like I said, I realized that reading isn’t the worst thing in the world and it’s like, right beside the bookstore, so a few days ago I went in there and bought some weird graphic novel thingy that’s got to with fantasy. I like romance more, I think, but this one that I’m reading right now is pretty good.

I move it from underneath my pillow and climb underneath my covers, my back against the wall. I open it up to the place that I stopped at yesterday and resume reading. It’s called The Sandman, Vol. 6: Fables and Reflections by some guy called Neil Gaiman and despite the weird title, it’s actually ridiculously good. As I’m reading, I come across the really amazing quote that I think describes my life just about perfectly right now.

“Sometimes you wake up, sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes when you fall, you fly.”

I fell when we went broke—  sure we got the money back and I had the chance to go back to my old life, but I didn’t. I didn’t and still don’t want that life anymore. My life right now is a lot better. I fell when we moved here and things got bad, or so I thought, but now I’m flying.

And the view is great. 

Author's Note: That's all folks! I'm trying not to cry and it's not working out too well for me. Thanks for coming on this journey with me and hopefull you enjoyed it! So, thoughts? Did things turn out how you guys thought they would? I know a lot of you were rooting for Coneffy, but sorry! Anyways, comment, vote, all that good stuff. The picture is a banner made by CharlieDeVonne and the song is Katy Perry's new song, which I'm in love with! So, yeah. I love you and have a lovely day and week and month and life and just, yeah. My Tumblr's in the external link, so follow that, please and I'll see you guys around! <3