"um why is your ass in my face?"

hoseok turned around, confused as he heard a voice from behind. he was just bending down to pick up his gun but when he turned around, he totally did not expect to see a girl sitting on the toilet bowl.

"um why is your ass on my toilet bowl?" hoseok sassed back, picking up the gun quickly and loaded it just in case.

daebyun was confused as hell, for all she could remember was that she was just casually hiding from taehyung in the toilet?

oh gosh, daebyun thought, was i drunk yesterday? did i have sex with this guy and kept him in the toilet so that tae won't see him? oh shit did i fucked up badly? oh shit did i lose my virginity to this pedophile looking guy?

"wait," daebyun paused, taking a good look at hoseok, "did we have sex yesterday?"

hoseok snorted, "as if," then he rolled his eyes. suddenly, he remembered something, as if something struck him hard. that face, the girl sitting on the toilet bowl in front of him, she looked oddly familiar?

oh shit.

hoseok's eyes widen in realization, as he quickly pointed the gun at her face. she was the horny blowjob girl from his dance class—  which meant that she was taehyung's best friend, and they are living together!

at the same time, daebyun thought back to the vampire she met at the store and suddenly everything clicked together. this guy threatening to kill her was the vampire! he was the one who sent her a flirty wink!

"what's your name!" hoseok screamed, his fingers shaking as he struggled to keep the gun pointing directly at her face.

"daebyun!" daebyun was scared shitless, and ger heart was about to jump out from her ribcage. oh gosh, was this how she was gonna die? sitting on a toilet bowl chewing on a gum?

"wait," hoseok lowered the gun, "daebyun doing daebyun?"

daebyun let out a frustrated groan, this was the twenty seventh time she heard that joke and she was sick of it.

"yes," daebyun replied, slightly pissed off, "and i'm proud of my name. you can make fun of it however you want, i will still be proud of it."

hoseok started laughing so loudly, his laughter bouncing off the walls of the bathroom and echoing. he clutched his stomach for support as he gasped for air, "daebyun! what an ugly ass name!"

daebyun sat on the toilet bowl with her arms crossed and both her eyes on hoseok, not appreciating any sound made by him. she rolled the gum on the tip of her tongue and blew a bubble as hoseok continued to laugh, but when she popped the bubble, it created a much louder sound than expected.

hoseok's gun went off at the same time she popped her gun. both of them stare at each other, shook and triggered.

"did you just shoot my bathroom floor? you dumbshit i'm broke i can't even afford a piece of lettuce and you broke my floor? are you doing this on purpose? oh gosh i really wanted to let you go—" but she was silenced when her gum suddenly popped on her lips without even blowing it.

"oh gosh," hoseok mumbled, "what's happening?"

"yeah man, i'll tell you what's happening. what's happening is that you will be paying for the damage you caused and i will hold you responsible for being a pervert—" she was silenced once again by another pop of the gum on her lips and she got even more annoyed than she already was, as if that was possible.

"daebyun, listen to me," hoseok grabbed both her shoulders, "i think our gum and gun are connected to each other. just now when you popped a bubble, my finger wasn't even on the trigger but the gun fired a shot. and when i pulled the trigger, your gum just popped when you didn't even blow it."

daebyun looked at him, puzzled, "it might just be a coincidence? anyways where's taehyung? how come he's not hearing all these gun shots? TAEHYUNG AH!"

hoseok's eyes widened, oh shit, his culprit was in the same place as he was? so he would get an instant promote one he kills taehyung? life must've been really good for hoseok, it hasn't even been one day and the culprit just fell right into his embrace!

"hey poop girl," hoseok started, as he pursed his lips. he really didn't want to say this, but he had no choice. if he wanted to get a promote, he had to say it.

"what?"

"remember when you said you wanted to give me a blowjob? i'll meet you at your bedroom tomorrow so let's just get it done uh— you can blow it like a balloon, like a trumpet, like a flute, urgh whatever. in exchange, let me meet taehyung!"

daebyun stared at him in confusion, with question marks circling around her head. blowjob? hell yeah! of course she'd give that vampire a good succ. but she will not let her thirst show as it would hurt her pride.

"holy fuck, you must be a pedophile where on earth is my pen i am ready to stab your eyeballs— " daebyun fumbled her pocket, only to find it empty. "— TAEHYUNG AH!"

"what? i clearly heard you saying that you wanted to give me a blowjob—" hoseok paused, as he looked at her again. "aren't you in my dance class?"

"what dance class?" daebyun furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. hoseok was even more confused. in fact, he was beyond confused. he was so sure that he has seen her in his dance class, so what on earth—

"daebyun ah!"

the voice was coming closer and closer, and hoseok decided that he had no more time left to think about useless stuffs. forget about the blowjob, now that the target was just right under his nose.

the door was being slammed down, as hoseok backed away. there stood kim taehyung, the target that he was supposed to kill— but it seemed too weird. he doesn't look like a person who owns a mansion, nor does he own iphone 10? and most importantly, those hands did look like the hands in the Howtobasic videos hoseok always fap to!

hoseok's eyes travelled to taehyung's hands, only to find that he was holding a nokia phone.

but he couldn't waste any time. he just wanted to finish this as soon as possible and then he could get all the rest he wants, without having to be troubled by anything.

so hoseok points his gun at taehyung, who dropped his nokia phone (but no damage was done of course) abruptly.

hoseok closed his eyes. another damage done by him. he took a deep breath, before starting to count down in his head.

three, two, one—

a loud shot was heard, but hoseok didn't pull the trigger.