Before we begin, I don't think I'll continue "Poppy's Flower." Or, at least, not now. I thought I knew what to write next, but I got lost as the Trolls franchise grew so quickly. Y'all might have to wait until after Trolls World Tour. So, in the meantime, I thought you would like this little short story. Yes, this takes place in the TTBGO universe. Yes, this was inspired by the SpongeBob episode "Krusty Love." No, I'm not making this into a book. Although it would be interesting. Enjoy.

In Troll Village, winter was always a busy season. Many holidays took place in the winter, hot drinks were sold like hotcakes, and Satin and Chenille were always thinking up new ideas for warm clothes for everyone to wear. But even in this busy season, some people may just find a little time for romance.

"There's this really nice B&B that has a hot tub, and they serve a complimentary breakfast," Poppy explained to Branch as they headed for downtown Troll Village. "Wanna go?"

"I don't really like bed and breakfasts," he replied. "I can sleep in my own bed, make my own breakfast, and build my own hot tub. Or better yet, a sauna."

Suddenly, the pair heard sirens blaring and a voice rang, "Back away from the set! This is my biggest production yet, and I don't want anything blowing it!"

"Production of what?" Branch asked, confused and annoyed. He knew this was the voice of Willow, the village's eccentric, slightly dimwitted, teenage filmmaker hopeful, and one of the few Trolls he actually hated more than anyone else, mainly because he thinks she's crazy.

"The grandest musical spectacular ever!" Willow answered. "I call it... Fiddler on the Branch!"

Poppy and Branch noticed a Troll standing on a tree branch practicing a fiddle.

"Sounds great!" Poppy shouted.

"I was looking for 'awesome,' but I'll take it," said Willow through a megaphone, looking down at them from another branch. "But we can't do anything until you step back, please."

"Willow, this is ridiculous," Branch argued as Poppy backed up. "There are other Trolls in this village. You know that, right?"

"Not moving, eh?" Willow replied, putting down her megaphone, and pressed a big red button on a remote with a cord on it. Suddenly, Branch found himself sprung up and in the air!

"I'm writing a complaint...!" he screamed.

"This does look pretty big, Willow," Poppy said as Branch landed on his face, away from the set. "Don't you need an assistant director?"

"Creek's my assistant director, but he had appendicitis and won't be back until tomorrow," she explained. "But it's cool. Archer's filling in for him."

"I still think this is stupid," he grumbled.

"You were fine with it when I made you costume designer," Willow pointed out.

"Well, break a leg!" Poppy shouted as she helped Branch up.

"Why would I do that?" Willow asked, confused.

"It's just an expression, it really means 'good luck,'" Poppy explained, and left with Branch.

"Oh, thank goodness," Willow sighed. She then picked her megaphone back up and shouted, "How many times do I have to tell you? Don't lick the props!"

Archer just rolled his eyes, but then, they focused on something else. At a nearby diner, a Troll sat by herself at a table on the porch. She gently brushed some snow off her shoulder and tucked back her bangs. With how the sun hit her face, she almost seemed to be glowing. She had cobalt blue hair, violet eyes, and baby blue skin with a red nose. Archer was transfixed by this beautiful creature.

"Archer?" Willow said, unable to catch his attention. "Archer...? ARCHER!"

"Yeah?" he muttered, out of his trance, but still focused on the woman.

"How are the tenors doing?" she asked.

"Good," he replied softly. "It's all good."

Willow knew he was focused on something else. She peered over his shoulder and saw who he was staring at.

"Ugh, Lily Stardust," she groaned.

"You know her?"

"Of course I know her, she's my cousin," Willow answered. "But you don't want to be with her. She's really demanding."

Willow wasn't kidding. At that moment, they noticed a waitress give Lily a mug of hot chocolate.

"Did you add extra whipped cream?" Lily asked.

"Yes," the waitress replied.

"Are these butterscotch morsels on top?" she asked again.

"Yes."

"Made with dark chocolate?"

"Yes."

"2% milk?"

"Yes."

"A teaspoon of cinnamon?"

"Yes."

"Shaken, not stirred?"

"Yes."

Lily took a sip of the drink, put the mug down, and said, "It's cold. For the twentieth time it's called hot chocolate for a reason."

Outraged, the waitress slammed the mug off the table, spilling the mug all over Lily's chest, and stormed off, shouting, "That's it! I quit!"

"I just got this jacket," Lily sighed, mildly disappointed, but remained calm nonetheless.

"See what I mean?" Willow said. "Might as well call her President Picky."

Archer just sighed dreamily. "What I wouldn't give just to have her arms around me."

"Hug Time's in five minutes," Willow pointed out. "I'll introduce her to you."

"Actually, Willow, I don't think that's a good idea," he said nervously. "I'm not good with girls, never have been. Besides, I'm not properly dressed."

"What are you talking about? You look great!" she insisted, then held up her megaphone. "Everyone, take ten!"

"I thought we were gonna do take three!" someone shouted.

"We are gonna do take three! I mean take a ten minute breather, then we'll get back to work!" Willow explained, then turned to Archer. "I swear, it's like I work with toddlers. Actually, some of the actors are toddlers. You just wait here while I break the ice."

"Willow, wait! I'm too nervous!" he cried out, but it was too late. Willow was already swinging through the trees with her hair. Archer began biting his claws in panic.

Willow approached her cousin as she wiped her jacket with some napkins and cleared her throat. Lily looked up to find the teenage Troll standing in front of her.

"Hello, Lily," she greeted coldly.

"Hello, Willow," Lily replied, equally unpleasant. "How are you?"

"Can't complain..." she answered, eyeing Lily. "I see you have that haircut."

"Yes. I see you still have those bug-eyes."

Willow held her hands up to her face until they reached them. It was no secret that Willow had the largest eyes out of all the Trolls in Troll Village, and she sometimes found it embarrassing.

"Yeah..." she said nervously. "Who in our family has that again?"

"No idea," Lily admitted. "Maybe someone from your dad's side. Wait, why are you even here?"

"Oh, I almost forgot about that," Willow admitted. "I want to introduce you to someone."

At that moment, Willow grabbed Archer with her hair and pulled him toward her until he stood in front of Lily.

"Lily, I want you to meet my friend, Archer Pastry," Willow introduced. "Archer, say hello."

Archer tried to say hello, but all that came out was a yelp.

"No, Archer, just say hello," Willow said encouragingly, but it didn't work, for he just made strange noises.

Lily was feeling nervous. "Maybe I should go..."

"No!" Archer cried out, and continue making noises and moved his body in an odd fashion.

"No, no, no, wait! He's trying to tell you something!" Willow alerted, watching his every move. "I think Archer wants to... hit you with a rake!"

"No!" he yelled as Lily gaped in panic. Willow watched an listened some more. She wasn't the best at speaking panic attack.

"Try to guess your weight?" she tried again. Lily just scowled. Archer made more noises and Willow tried one more time. "No, no, wait! I got it, I got it! He wants to take you... on a date!"

Out of breath, Archer collapsed at Lily's feet.

"Is that true, Archer?" Lily asked. "You want to take me on a date?"

Archer nodded. "What do you say?"

"Well, I say you have a way with words," she answered, giggling. "Just don't take me here, this place has terrible service."

Willow and Archer watched as Lily headed off.

"You know what they say, 'When you got it, they want it,'" said Willow. "Actually, I don't know if anyone says that. Maybe I heard it in a movie, or something."

Archer didn't listen to her. The only thing he could hear was the sound of Lily's voice.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••

That night, at Willow's house, Archer got ready for his date with Lily and Willow helped check if he had everything he needed.

"Breath spray?"

"Check."

"Lucky socks?"

"Check."

"Giant banana peel?"

"What? Giant banana peel?!" Archer repeated, panicking. "Oh no, I don't have a giant banana peel!"

Willow laughed. "I'm just kidding, Archer, you're fine. But are you sure you want to do this... with Lily Stardust, of all Trolls?"

"I've never been so sure about anything in my life," Archer insisted.

"If you say so," Willow replied. "Good luck with you-know-who."

Archer took Lily to have dinner at a nice restaurant. Although not everyone was happy to see the couple.

"Good evening, sir," a waiter greeted, "and Lily."

"Brandon." Lily replied coldly.

"You know each other?" Archer asked, confused.

"We had one date, it was terrible," Lily explained.

"You can do better," the waiter whispered in Archer's ear. "Can I get you a couple of drinks to start?"

"Stoutberry juice," they both said at the same time.

"Just... try not to mix up our orders," Archer said with a small chuckle, then looked at Lily.

"Sad," she replied. Archer just turned red with embarrassment. He tried to lighten the mood.

"That's a lovely dress you're wearing," he complimented. Though not one to turn heads, it was rather pretty, an old fashioned lavender gown with an indigo moon symbol on the front.

"Oh, thanks," she said, a little surprised. "I don't like to show cleavage on a first date, but I didn't think anyone would like it."

"It's okay, I get it," Archer replied as two drinks were served to them. "Thank you. You don't want people to get the wrong idea, so you try to see if they like who you are on the..."

Lily took a sip from her drink and gagged a little.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, a little worried.

"I got this," she assured him. "Excuse me, Brandon, this is a little too strong."

The waiter just rolled his eyes and served two waters to another table.

"Well, that was rude," Lily said, and turned to the Trolls who got the water. "You wouldn't mind sharing some water, would you?"

"Umm... sure," one of them answered hesitantly. Trolls usually share everything, but they also knew Lily Stardust was one tough act to follow. She took the glass from the other Troll's hand and took a sip.

"It's too cold," she muttered. Archer just looked down sadly.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

A week later, Archer met with Poppy, Branch, and Willow and told them about his date.

"I just don't get it, Archer," Poppy said. "How can you spend an entire date without barely talking to her?"

"I felt so embarrassed, I just didn't know what to say to her," he replied. "I wanted her to enjoy herself, but she barely even smiled."

"Getting any of my cousins to smile is like getting a Dream Sucker to do a handstand," Willow admitted. "Believe me, I've tried."

"What are you going to do?" Branch asked.

"I don't know," Archer answered, nervously hugging his own tail. "I got another date tomorrow, and I don't want to blow it."

"Archer, it wasn't your fault you had a bad night with Lily," Branch explained. "You just don't know her very well, and she's... a little oversensitive."

"Branch, you don't have to sugar-coat it," Willow said. "We all know what she is."

"Don't worry about it, Archer," Poppy assured him. "I'm sure whatever happens between you and Lily will be fine."

"Pfft! Yeah, right," Willow snickered.

"You're not helping," Branch grumbled.

"Well, what can I do?"

"Hey, you're Lily's cousin," Archer realized. "There's a lot you can do! We're going for a walk in the picnic grounds, you can follow us and give me advice along the way, since you already know a lot about her."

"Archer, I don't think that's how it's supposed to work," Branch warned.

"Well, what else can I do? I don't have any other options," Archer replied, then turned to Willow. "Please, Willow. I need this."

"Crud."

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Archer, quick question: do I really have to give advice to you while hiding inside a dead rosebush?"

"Lily can't see you," he explained through a headpiece. "I can't impress her if she knows you're helping. I want it to look like I know all about her by myself."

"Actually, she might find that kinda creepy," Willow replied.

"Well, whatever, just stick with the plan," Archer growled, and knocked on Lily's pod.

"When this is over, I'm having a serious talk with my insurance agent," Willow muttered to herself.

"Who is it?" Lily called out in a deadpanned tone.

"I-it's me, Ar-- Archer Pastry," he answered nervously.

"Okay," she said simply. "I'll be out in a minute."

"Uh-oh, I didn't bring flowers!" Archer realized. "Willow, I need flowers, stat!"

"It's the middle of winter," she pointed out.

"Willow, this is a chance at redemption!" Archer argued. "I can't show up empty-handed!"

Willow rolled her eyes and whistled. A tiny, green-and-orange bird flew to her and landed on the bush.

"Hi, Whistle," she said sweetly. Whistle tweeted a tune. "Go to the Troll Village greenhouse, pick some of the first flowers you see, and take them to Archer."

Whistle did what she was told and headed straight to Archer. He grabbed a bundle of roses from the bird's beak and made them look presentable as Whistle flew away.

"Oh, look what I have!" he said cheerfully as Lily stepped out. "A lovely bouquet of your favorite flowers."

"My favorite flowers are snapdragons," Lily pointed out, examining the roses.

"Willow! Why'd you give her roses?!" he whispered.

"Just be glad I didn't get her tulips, she's allergic," Willow replied as Whistle returned to her.

Archer rolled his eyes and returned his attention to Lily.

"You still like them, right?"

"What's next, a box of chocolates?" she replied sarcastically. But for some reason, the message was missed.

"Willow, where are they?!" Archer whispered.

"Buddy, I'm pretty sure she was being--"

"You can't just say hello to Lily Stardust without chocolates!" he argued silently.

"Said no one ever," she grumbled, and turned to Whistle. "Okay, girl. Now get him a heart-shaped box of chocolates. Make them dark chocolate with fluffleberry filling."

Whistle fetched the box and delivered it to Archer, who was beginning to sweat despite the cold weather.

"How much longer do I have to stay in here?" Willow asked. "These thorns are making a pin cushion out of me!"

"Willow, please!" Archer scolded silently. "I'm trying to win the heart of the most perfect woman in the universe."

"Um, Archer?" Lily spoke up, getting worried.

"These are for you, too!" he said with false glee, giving her the chocolates. "Just the way you like them."

"Boy, you're acting weird," Lily muttered suspiciously.

"What are you gonna do next, get her a washing machine?" Willow joked unenthusiastically.

"Okay, now you're just being ridiculous," he replied. Lily then noticed the earpiece he was wearing. "Don't you think she'd need a dryer with that?"

"Well, Archer, do you want to know what I think?"

Suddenly, a fuse blew, and had gone right out of the earpiece. Archer nearly went deaf in that one ear. Lily took it off and listened through it herself. Willow screamed in strange tongue, filled with obscenities and swearing, and screamed out both of their names. Suddenly, Lily saw her younger cousin emerge from the dead bush and storm off, covered in thorns.

"I didn't know Willow had such a... colorful vocabulary," Lily said, turning off the earpiece. "Archer, what's going on with you?"

Archer sighed. "Well, after having such a horrible night with me last week, I was worried you wouldn't--"

"Are you kidding?" Lily interrupted. "That was the best date of my life!"

"Wait, what? But you complained all night!"

"True, they gave me a bad drink and my figs were undercooked, but I had a good time," she explained. "You were nice and charming and friendly... I really enjoyed your company. You don't have to impress me or shower me with gifts. I'd rather go Dutch, if it makes you feel better."

"Gee, thanks," Archer said as Lily gave him a cupcake.

"You're a very sweet man, Archer Pastry," she finished, and kissed his cheek.

In loving memory of Stephen Hillenburg.
1961 - 2018