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Playlist - Back To You by Selena Gomez

Astoria

Oh, Chase did give me an alternate solution to my problem, but the more he spoke, the more aggravated Axel got.

My eyes moved back and forth as I watched the two friends.

"Gee, thanks for your advice, but she'll pass." Axel said through gritted teeth.

"Since when did you start speaking for her?" Chase egged him. "I'll listen to Astoria, not you."

Two pairs of eyes fell on me. I felt like a deer caught in headlights. I wanted to channel a confident, nonchalant spirit in my body that knew how to thrive, bring out its best under the limelight.

Stuck being the centre of attention and my audience contained my ex-boyfriend, now friend and his best friend. I was starting to rethink my decision of ever entertaining Gina and her lame attempts of riling me up.

I dropped my head and the bottom lip I didn't realize I had been biting was touched by Axel's elongated fingers. He freed my lip. His touch sent shivers down my spine. I was suddenly very aware of a pair of curious eyes carefully watching us.

Get a grip, Astoria.

"I'll have to think about it," I told Chase, and met Axel's gaze. "If he can help me without causing you any trouble then I'll consider his advice."

Chase had given me a simple solution: He'll take me as his date to the dinner and all Axel has to do is accompany us—until I shove our friendship in Gina's face. The last part was for me to know. I hadn't revealed to either of them why I needed to go to the Senior's dinner in the first place.

I had soon left the garage when I felt the energy had taken one-eighty degree shift and turned hostile. I was too scared to be around Axel when he looked like a caged animal ready to pounce on anyone. More specifically, Chase.

I didn't want to be the reason the two friends fought so I chose to retreat in one piece. It was for the best.

"That'll be ten dollars."

I had completely forgotten that I was standing in a checkout line. I quickly paid the cashier and walked out of the grocery store.

Keeping a leash on my whirlwind thoughts, I plugged in my old ipod and played the same six songs I loved to listen to at every chance I got. Back at home, I busied myself with homework until I heard the buzz of my front door bell.

I frowned. I wasn't expecting anyone to show up and any prospective list of visitors might not get gate entry unless I gave the security a prior heads up. Who could it be?

***

Axel

Leave her alone. I told myself. I should leave her alone. We would never work. Our love was fated for a tragic end if it ever blossomed. I'll only ever make thing harder than they already were.

Fuck. I needed a smoke.

I turned to face my asshole friend. After what he has done, he was longer a friend to me. Bitterness tasted on my tongue as my head went back to yesterday's events. They were going just as I had intended it to, but then he had to show up and piss all over my plans.

I slammed his shoulder, and snatched the drag he was blowing.

"That's mine," Chase groaned.

"Was." I inhaled the nicotine, the dr*g slowly growing on me. The smoke left my mouth. I made it a mission to blow it directly near his face.

Chase stepped back. "You such a baby. Get over it. I got your girl for the night." He was looking for a fight, I could tell.

"Don't pick up a fight now," Ares chimed in. His green eyes dared me to defy him. "You're up next." He reached to pull the cigarette from my clutch. "Stop smoking shit. You're seventeen."

"Then you should have thought before leaving a pack of your Dunhill behind." I snapped. "I learned from you."

As always Ares' face remained impassive. The only hint of his aggravation was the dark gleam of his eyes. You know Ares is mad when he's silent, but when there's a cloud of threatening calm surrounding his eyes then that's the indication that he's ready to chop off your limbs.

"What's gotten you spiteful?" He crossed his arms.

"Nothing," I muttered, sharply.

Ares knew nothing about Astoria and I intended to keep it that way. There was no way I'd risk giving any indication of the girl I was in love with. I already knew what Charlotte had planned for the poor girl with the weird name, I was going to keep Astoria a secret.

If Charlotte ever felt threatened by the possibility that someone might take her place in my life, she'll go to any extent to eliminate that person. Little did she know, she had no place in my life. I am fed up with her.

"Then stop acting like a girl and get your mood straight. You're competing with the big dogs here. Don't fuck this up for either of us."

He was right. This was a big deal for all of us. Chase had networked his way through the big guns of illegal street racing. You don't get in unless they let you in. I had to prove myself to these fuckers.

What a drag.

I let out a breath and took one last drag of the cigarette before retreating to my car, I didn't miss the chance to shove Chase out of my way. It's what he deserved.

All the cars were lined up on the racetrack. There were real shady people that had pulled to the front of the starting line. Girls loitered around in mini skirts and tube tops, I paid no attention to the redhead and blondie who came my way, lapping for attention.

I pushed the girls away and climbed into my racecar. Eminem's Rap God blasted through the speakers. I turned the volume up to block out my wild thoughts.

Attention solely focused on the task at hand, I took no account of my competitors. For all I care, they can suck my dick.

I gripped the steering wheel, the engines roared. The anticipation of firing up the racetrack surged through me. I was on a high. The vibration of the surface beneath my feet hummed.

The girl who was all over my dick few minutes ago came into my view. She was going to send us off. She raised the air horn up her head, signalling a countdown. 3...2...1...

On her go, all the engines revved, and everyone blazed off their cars. It's showtime.

The road is bumpy, poor in condition yet my car shot right off it. I am shifting gears, handling the wheel and charging out at lighting speed. It was my time to shine.

On the track, the car to my right went head-to-head against me. But, the more time passed, I realised it was just a set up to keep me distracted. The playing field just got real way quickly.

My jaw clenched when the purposely rammed it's side against mine. I don't know what the driver's deal was, but he sure as hell wouldn't stop at random bumps now and then. He was looking to eliminate the competition.

You don't get away denting my car.

"Bloody fuckers," I cursed and jerked my wheel to slam right into the car. I was going to have it flipped over.

I slammed harder on the gas, amping up my speed. I was going to win this race. Whoever wanted to win this can bloody throw a fit because either I was going to wrap my hand around their neck.

I spot the red GT, which was enjoying the race unscathed. It's going to get scary right here. If you want to win, then win with dignity. Or else stay at home.

I punched the gears, leaving the other cars behind. When my car went head-to-head with the GT, it was then I noticed the familiar tinted windows. Fucking Remo.

I should've known he would insert his nose where he didn't belong. His goons were causing me trouble. I sped up and repeatedly jerked the car to corner his car. One last slam on the gas, I edged ahead of his GT.

His car tilted and came to a stretching halt. Take that, you fucking moron.

I finished it up first and jumped right out of the car. I didn't wait second before charging towards that fuckers car.

"Get the fuck out the car," I bellowed. "Out." My nose flared and fingers itched to punch the shit's pretty boy face.

I heard my name being shouted. Ignoring it, I headed straight to the driver's side door and tried to open the door to no avail. I was so tempted to break the door. It wasn't until I was physically pulled away from slamming the jerk's face on the ground, he got out his den.

"Sick fuck," he spat, disgustingly. "You won, didn't ya?"

"Come here, pretty boy. I need your head as my trophy." I was held back from attacking the golden boy of Mount Peter, our neighboring town.

"That's enough." It was Ares's turn to raise his voice. "Get hold of yourself." He looked at me with a pointed look.

It makes me even mad. I was the one who could've gotten hurt and he was expecting me to calm down. What the hell.

Ares's patience was running thin, I could tell and so did Chase, but because I had chosen to act completely out of line, there was no returning. It was Chase who shoved the people who had me caged, and went to grab my arm. I shot him an artic death glare which immediately made him retreat his hand.

"Don't hit me, but fucking get out here before he hits you." He meant Ares.

What was I, his puppet? To do as he says? Ares was not the boss of me and neither was Chase. I did what I wanted to do. If they ultimately want to paint me as the bad guy without listening to my side, then fine. I could be a goddamn malice if I wanted to.

Racing was their dream, not mine. Yet I never once backed down from racing on their behalf whenever they wanted to. They were greater than what a brother could be to me, but I was nothing more than an inconvenience to them.

It fucking hurt. The gleam gilttering in Ares's eyes fucking cut me deep.

Onlookers were crowded, taking in the fun.

Manifesting self-control, I unclenched my jaw, and decided to leave the premises. I caught Ares' rolling his eyes and shaking his head. For Ares, I was a fractious child. He often treated me like I was ticking time bomb.

To hell with him. He can screw himself.

I shot one last death glare at Remo and was about to move forward to my car, when I stopped short and punched him right across his golden nose.

Without a look back, I moved towards my car.

A strong hand seized my upper arm, halting me in my trance. Ares walked the short distance in front of me and stared at me with anger written all over them.

"What's going on with you?" He demanded. I remained tight lipped. "I am warning you, Axel. There will be repercussions."

When I said nothing, he eyed me grimly.

"You're heading towards a self-destructive parth and or what? Because of Chase? Tell me, what did he do?"

I shrugged my arm from his hold and he let go.

You wouldn't understand, Ares. Even if I told you the truth.

***

I drove around aimlessly, my thoughts scattered. I had nothing left for me. I had a girlfriend or two, but none of them meant anything to me. My father stared down at me, disappointed and my mother never dared call me out on my behaviour. My parents didn't care to find out why I was always acting out, getting myself in trouble.

There was no one on earth who cared for me or even loved me. I could go and get myself wasted away at a house party, but that would only ease away my pain temporarily.

My body craved a serotonin boost, and I knew, bloody hoped that Astoria still cared for me. I wanted her to love me. Hell, I'll do anything to have her back in life. But I need to make it work with whatever scraps I was offered.

I maneuvered my car around and drove to my home, my actual home.

Drapes were pulled over the bay windows of the cottage. This cottage was initially designed to be a guesthouse, but mom thought it was too far away from our home. It would make the guests uncomfortable.

I couldn't imagine it to be anything other than Astoria's home. As I waited for her to answer the door, my nerves returned in full force. When was I last wired up to see a girl? Maybe never. Only Astoria had the power to pull the strings of these foreign feelings in me.

Eyes shut, I leaned against the sidelite door. It wasn't until I heard her melodic voice call my name that I finally opened my eyes.

The first thing I saw was her large blue pupils staring at me, dumbfounded. I guess she was surprised to see at what, two in the morning.

My stiffened shoulders visibly softened under her presence.

"Axel?" She touched my shoulder. "Is everything alright?" Her tone and face etched with concern. Now, why does always have to be so kind to me when I was an asshole to her for most of the years?

And why did she have to be so beautiful that it nearly took my breath away.

I am not okay. Nothing is okay. All I want to do is take you in my arms and claim your lips, but I can't do that. I won't allow myself to drag you in my fucked me up life, but I know me. I know I won't stop until I become your man.

The words never came out of my mouth and I'm thankful for it. I didn't want to send her running up the hills.

Her soft voice spoke again. "Come on, inside. It's getting cold outside."

My eyes were so focused on her face that I didn't take notice of her outfit. She stood tall in her long white maxi nightdress with lace embroidered collar, sleeves and hems. She looked so much more like a sixties housewife than a schoolgirl. I know for one that most of the girls loved wearing skimpy night clothes. I had been to enough girls' houses at night to know the fact.

Without a doubt, Astoria gave them a run of their money. She looked like a goddess, my goddess.

Her inquisitive eyes had hundreds of questions swimming through them. I knew she was not overstepping her own drawn boundaries. I wanted to reach out and touch her face, but instead I held her alluring gaze.

When I don't move, her warm hand snakes around my arm and she pulls me a little, urging me to step inside. At her insistence, I did what she said. The door slammed shut behind us.

Soon, we are in her bedroom. The small yellow light of a nearby lamp gave a small peak of the changes she had made to her bedroom. I hadn't been here since our breakup, and even though the bitterness from that was still rooted somewhere deep inside Astoria, she didn't mind me entering her room.

The first thing I noticed were the posters on the wall. It consisted of anime characters and a few of New York City. I didn't know she had developed a liking towards NYC.

I made a mental note to take her for the visit to the city at the next possible chance.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked and I shook my head. "Hmm... how about you lie down on my bed?" She suggested. I cocked an eyebrow, suggestively. Her eyes rounded. "Oh, God, lie down till I get some homework done."

***

Astoria

I took in his disheveled attire, an expensive black hoodie with tshirt underneath and black jeans. He shrugged Jordan's off his feet and sat on the edge of my bed, looking so broken and lost.

My heart skipped a beat. I had never seen him so utterly sad, ever in my life and, because he had the ability to turn me into a puddle of mess, I was no longer in the mood for homework.

I wanted to see him happy. In my eyes, he was the boy who needed a friend in his life. We had shared our vulnerabilities to each other, but I couldn't see him bejng vulnerable in front of others.

There must be something really wrong with me. Before I could comprehend what I was about to do, I moved towards him.

Once I reached him, his eyes drifted up to my face. My hand rose and gradually touched the back of his neck. Reluctantly at first, I finally cupped the back of his neck. His eyes lacked the fire I was used to. I wanted to see it back.

After all, he was meant to be a big authoritative man someday who would be calling the shots around him. He was a leader, not a bloody follower.

"Whatever's going on in your head, stop it," he said firmly, a hard edge to his voice.

I smiled. "No." It was a simple no. "No, Mr. Trent. I am not going to listen to you."

My decision was made. I was going to do this. I might regret it someday, but it was definitely not today.

My fingers pulled on his luscious hair and dropped a simple, chaste kiss on his plump lips.

"Astoria." He didn't let the kiss last for more than a second. "What do you think you're doing?" I wanted to laugh at his expression. He looked appalled.

"It's called a kiss." I pressed my lips on his again, and this time I lowered myself down to his lap, still moving my lips at a smooth pace. Axel was not as responsive as I wanted him to be.

"Stop it." He pulled away from my kisses, his lips appeared mildly swollen. "And fucking stand." He pushed me off his lap, when I wouldn't budge, he slid his hand under cotton covered thighs and lifted me up in a swift motion and placed me, no threw me on my bed.

"This is not fair." I crossed my hands over my breast, even though my heart was racing at a million miles per minute, I was relieved to see him, not broken.

"What's not fair is you trying to seduce me," he accused. "You know how I feel about you still you pull this shit, and for what?"

"Because I didn't want to see you hurt. It's hard for me to see you like you are crushed." I looked sideways, avoiding to stare into his eyes. "Strong, controlling, assertive, that's how I want to see you. Why do you let others pull you down?"

"What makes you think that way?" His tone visibly softened.

I finally looked at him. "It's written all over your face."

"Still, you shouldn't have gone for seduction. It's not your strong suit."

I cocked my head to him. "What do you mean?" I suddenly grew self-conscious. Axel was the experienced one out of two of us and even though it stung to admit, there had been a fair share of girls in his bed.

I made a fool out of myself in hopes of pulling him out of his self-contempt land.

He laughed. "It's nothing." He shook his head.

"You clearly mean something." I bit my lip.

"I really don't."

Whatever. I climbed out of my bed to head to my study table and switched off the lamp. Axel still stood in my room, his eyes never once leaving me, I could tell. I stayed silent and slipped inside the warm covers of my bed.

He could go and find some expert seductress if he wanted to. This was just a one time thing and I wasn't thinking at all.

I felt the bed dip beside me and then hands slithered around the dip of my waist. "Hey, toot." He breathed on my skin. "If it makes you feel any better, I had never been this hard before. Watching you try to seduce me was enough to get hard enough," he whispered against the skin of my neck.

My breath hitched when he pressed the evidence of his words against my back. My pulse quickened.

"I can hear your pulse. It's racing. Are you scared?" His lips fluttered soft kisses down my neck. "Isn't this what you wanted?He gripped my hips and laughed. "So innocent."

"Shut up," I groaned.

No sooner had I drifted off to sleep and next morning I woke up, there was no sign of Axel. The bed felt large and empty, the only hint of him spending the night was the creases of the bedsheet.

The following day in school, I was, like usual, at my locker, taking out stuff when I heard a whistle called out and felt someone squeeze my hips.

I knew the feeling of the large hand. I turned my head to meet his smirking face. I found myself smiling too.