Chapter 1

Mom! I'll go to school now! See you later!" As I ran out the house I heard a faint "See you honey". It was the first day to my new school. Oh I'm totally nervous! Who will be there? Will I meet any old forgotten friends there?

After 20 minutes walking, I arrived at the front door. I kept my cool cause I don't want people staring at me weirdly. As I stepped in the big building, I was greeted by a familiar voice shouting out my name. Taeyeon!!" I turned my head to her and my lips curved up immediately. "Hey shorty! Ow! Yah! It's just - Ow!" I glared at her. How dare she punched me? "It's Sunny! S-U-N-N-Y! Geez" I laughed at her cute face.

Guys, meet Sunny. She's a cute short girl. She's my best friend since we're in diapers? Anyway, that girl seems very weak but actually she can punch very strong. But still, she's funny! And she's in my class! I'm lucky eh?

"Yah, let's go if you don't want to be late!" She linked her arms with mine. I like it.

As we were in front of our class room, I took a deep breath. As I stepped in, they were just ignoring me and Sunny. Everybody sat on their seats, even Sunny. I was the only one without a chair. A sigh escaped my lips. Yah, it's the first day in the new school and it is already so annoying, I thought.

The teacher walked in and I asked her: "Uhm.. I don't have a chair. Can I go around and search one?"

"You can borrow my chair! And please sit at the back!" She smiled at me, stood up and gave me her chair.

Oh, she's nice. I sat at the back and listened to her.

"Good morning everyone. Did you sleep well? Anyway, today's the first day. blablabla."

I looked around the room. There were some talking with each other, some listened to the teacher. But just one girl caught my eyes. Who's that? She got blonde hair. That's all I can see. Wait, is she sleeping? Anyway, isn't it rude to stare at others? So my eyes wandered back to the teacher. That girl looks cute.

So everyone, please introduce yourself?" She pointed at one boy. The boy said: Anyonghaseo, I'm Yul. Nice to meet you." He has got short hair. An orange t-shirt and baggy pants.

Another voice started to say: Anyonghaseo! I'm Tiffany Hwang. Nice to meet you!" She showed her eye smile. Wow! She looks totally cute!

Another voice said: Anyonghaseyo. My Name is Seohyun. Nice to meet you." Wow, that girl looks like a nerd. And she speaks like a nerd too!

And it went on and on until..

"Hi, Jessica Jung " I looked up and saw her. Oh, that was the blonde chic! I thought she was sleeping? Aish.. I don't care

As the class went on I didn't really listened to it. I stared out the window. It was autumn and the weather was cold. I sighed and rested my head on the window. So boring. Time passed by slowly and the bell rung. Yes! Finally! But then I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I looked to my right and saw a girl. "hey" The girl said.

"Yes?"

"Would you like to sit next time with me? Anyway, I'm hyoyeon! Nice to meet you Taeyeon" She held her hands out to shake. Not trying to be rude, I shook her hands.

~

After that, I walked home with Sunny.

"Hey Sunny, did you notice that Hyoyeon girl?"

"Oh yes! She asked me to be her friend" Sunny said, looking at me.

"Oh really?? She asked me, if I want to sit with her next time."

"I think she's a nice person. She does look like a nice person" Sunny said and smiled.

"yes, you're right! Oh, we're already at my house! Do you want to eat lunch with m family?"

"Ah, no, it's ok, thanks!" Sunny waved and smiled.

"Oh.. Ok, see ya tomorrow Shorty!" I laughed and ran into the house. I heard her screaming my name. Cute. She always freaks out whenever I call her shorty.

"Mom, I'm at home!"

I ran into the living room and saw nobody. Oh, dad works right now, and mom probably too and brother! He must be at home, I thought. I ran to his room. But it was empty. I called him. I waited a few seconds then a female voice said:

Sorry, he turned off his mobile phone. Please try later again. Thanks

Argh! Now I had to eat alone. Time passed and I went to bed. Quickly, dreamland called my name and so I went there.

~

gee gee gee gee baby ba-

I shut the alarm clock. I opened my left eye and looked at the time. Oh Sh!!, I ran into the bathroom, washed quickly, dressed quickly and ran out the house. Sunny!! Oh no, she's probably in school already!!

I ran to the school, ran upstairs and suddenly I bumped into someone.

"Ow!!" I swear, that person is dead if I'm late. I stood up and rubbed my butt with my eyes closed because of the pain.

"Yah! Are you blind or something! Be careful next time!!" I opened my eyes and met these brown orbs again. But this time it was a glare that could kill anyone. I quickly averted my eyes on the floor and mumbled a "sorry"

I ran into the class, sat down, took out my things, and leaned back in my chair. Geez, my morning is so chaotic! First, waking up late and then bumb into that Jessica. Speak of the devil, she walked into the room and sat on her seat. I stared at her. She looks really pretty.. but she's an ice princess! "are you excited?" asked Hyoyeon. "Why should I?" she chuckled. "You seem very cool, that's all" "Oh.. Ok!" I smiled back at her. Anyway, the teacher went into the room and the lesson began.

As the lesson ended, I hurried to sunny. "Uh... Sorry Sunny, I -"

"It's ok, I know, you love sleeping!" Hehe~ she knows me too well. She smiled and we went togehter to the next lesson.

The school bell rang! Yeah, school's over! And I went my daily routine again. First, lunch, playing or whatever, homework, dinner, whatever, sleep.

As I lay in bed I thought about today.

Yah, are you blind or something? Be careful next time!

Brown eyes met brown eyes

That girl is mysterious.. I want to know more about that girl.

Chapter 2

Many weeks passed by

"TaeTae!" She ran to me hugged me from behind. My lips curved up. 

"Hi fany! How are you?" I said as I took out things from my locker. 

"Fine" She release the hug and leaned against the lockers. 

"How was your weekend?" She smiled with her eyes. 

"ah.. normal, the usual. chilling at home. nothing more" 

"Yah, that's boring. Why don't you go out?" 

"I'm not a shoppingholic like you" For that comment I receive a smack on my arm. 

I smiled. "Joke" 

Sunny came and greeted us.

~

We went into the classroom. "Shorties! Ah, Fany! How are you?" Sooyoung asked. 

Meet Sooyoung, the tall girl. She always tease us with 'Shorty'. She's tall, loves food, but she is very thin. 

"Aigoo, call me shorty again and I cut your head off." I said annoyed but chuckled at the end. 

"Yah! Do you think, you can fight against me?" 

"Sure" 

"YAH!" Again, someone smacked my arm. 

What's wrong with these people? Geez~ 

I sat on my chair and waited. 

Oh did I tell you, the class changed the seats again? I'm sitting next to Yul. 

Yul came to me with a smile. "Yo, what's up?" 

I smiled and we hugged in 'gangster style'. I'm a girl but still, I'm acting like a boy sometimes. 

"Yo buddy, wow, nice t-shirt" He chuckled. On his t-shirt stood: Homework are for losers. 

Oh, he's right! I chuckled at my thought.

Suddenly I felt someone staring at me or at Yul. I looked up and saw Jessica staring at Yul. 

Oh, yeah we talked sometimes. But after that, there's an awkward silence. You know, Ice Princess style. She looked away as she saw me. After seconds, miss Lee came in and the lesson started. 

"Hey buddy, do you know Jessica?"

"Oh yes, she's the bestfriend from fany" Yuri said.

"Oh ok. But still.. she always looks at you" I said.

"What? Are you kidding me?" 

"Nope, see? She's looking at you" Geez, he woulnd't believe me!

Yul turned his head and looked at Jessica. Jessica immediately turned her head towards the teacher. 

"Tae, I don't think so"

A sigh escape my lips.

"ok, ok. Just pay attention to the lesson"

~

"Hey Tae, do you want a ride home?" Yul asked.

"Sure why not"

I climbed onto his bike and he brought me home. 

"Thanks Buddy, see ya tomorrow!"

As I step into my house. My mobile phone rang.

If I'm by your side, not matter what the task may b-

 [Snowflake - I'm sorry I love you]

"Yoboseo?"

"TaeTae!"

"Yes fany-ah?"

"Would you like to hang out with me and my friends?"

"Sure, but where?"

"At my house, after that we can go shopping or something like that"

"Sounds cool, see ya later??"

"Ok, 3 pm at my house! see ya!"

She hang up. I walked into my room and prepared myself.

~

2:59pm

I walked to the front door and rung the bell. After a few seconds the door opened, revealing a eyesmiling girl with a Lollipop in her mouth. She waved. I waved back. She let me in and dragged me to the 2 girls on the couch. Yoona and Seohuyn greeted me. 

Suddenly Seohuyn asked me: Hey Unnie, did you do your homework?” 

Wth, I’m not a nerd like you!! Geez 

I thought. Y-yeah.” I said. She’s a nerd and weird. I mean she’s the smartest student!! Anyway, she’s still weird.

Yoona eyed me weirdly. “Unnie, you ok?” 

"Sure!” 

We talked and talked and I didn’t even notice the sound of footsteps going downstairs. “Yah, where’s fany?” 

I turned around and saw her again with her glare. She’s dressed in light brown shorts with a tight fitting white shirt that shows off her sexy body. I think she’s still angry about my hard words. I stood up, bowed but I saw her just walking upstairs. 

Yoona saw it and said: “Sorry Unnie, she’s like that to strangers. But deep inside her, she got a very warm heart.” It surprised me to hear it. 

I mean, you get scared easily if she treats you like that. Anyway, she was really hot. Oh gee, what am I thinking? I’m a girl and I’m straight! 

I nod and fany ran downstairs with sica behind her. “Let’s go!” Fany grabbed my arm and drag me out the house. The other girls were just following behind. 

~

We went first to some fashion shops. There was nothing for me but fany got many shirts and pants. 

After went shopping for like 4 hours, we went in mcdonals. 

We were all hungry. 

Yoona brought a Big Mac + Coke, 

Seohuyn just a cheeseburger + Coke and Fany the same like Seohuyn. But wait. Sica didn’t brought anything! 

I looked at her. “Jessica, why d-didn’t you b-brought anyt-thing?” 

She eyed me weirdly and said an unexpected answer: “Every Burgers has got cucumbers. I don’t like cucumbers.” 

I tried not to smile but my lips curved up automatically at her cute answer. “S-should I-I go and buy you something without c-cucumber?”

She just nodded. 

“o-ok, see you in 5 m-minutes” I said and smiled. 

I stood up, went out the fast food place and searched for something to eat without cucumbers. As I just walked around to find any food place I smiled widely. She’s so cute. 

I finally found a shop with bread and many more food. I asked the waited for food without cucumbers. He showed me many things. I decided to take a sandwich without cucumbers. It’s filled with salad, salad dressing, and chicken. 

I looked at my watch and I was already 1 Minute late. I don’t know why but I ran as fast I can back to Sica.

As I finally came near to her, I slowed down my pace and gave the food to her. She looked up, took the food and smiled. Oh, as she smiled, my world started spinning. I just stared at her and smiled. She checked if there was cucumbers and then she smiled again. Oh, so crazy. 

But then a voice woke me up. “Yah, don’t smile like that and sit down.” Yoona said. Sica moved over a little bit for me to sit. As I sat down, my arm brushed lightly at hers. Oh my world was spinning again. “Taeyeon, you don’t have anything to eat.” I looked up to her. “I-It’s ok” She smiled and eat her sandwich.

From that day on, I don’t know why, but I want to see 

her smile

 more often.

Chapter 3

I sent Yoona, Tiffany and Seohyun back to their home. The only one that needs to sent home ways Jessica. 

We walked side by side under the dark sky filled with stars. I enjoyed the silence between us. It calmed me down and then I turned to her. 

She was looking up the sky, her lips curved up into a small smile. Her golden locks fell down her shoulder. Her hands held tightly together like she was wishing for something. 

“Are you c-cold?” I said without thinking. Why did I said it? 

I stared into her eyes and she answered shortly: “No” Something inside me was hoping she would say yes. 

I kept silence until we arrived at her house. She was about to turn around and walk in but I grabbed her wrist by surprise. 

“S-Sica, c-can I-I h-have your n-n-number?” She nod and took her mobile phone out of her pocket. I took mine out and switched it with her. I typed my number down and she did the same on my mobile phone. We switched again and I waved at her. 

I turned around and was about to walk home but a voice held me back. “Thanks” I turned around, smiled at her and she smiled back. So nice. She went in and I walked home. 

I opened my door to my bedroom softly and switched the lights on. Aigoo so tiring. I kicked my shoes to the side and fell on the bed. I was too tiring to dress into more comfortable clothes so I just went to dreamland.

~

Gee gee gee ge-

I shut my alarm clock. With a yawn I went out my bed and to the bathroom. I quickly washed up and went downstairs. 

“Tae, where were you last night?”

“Ah, Mom, I went shopping with fany, seohuyn, yoona and sica.”

I smiled as I mentioned Sica. My mom just nodded. 

“I’ll be going now! See you later mom.”

“Bye honey”

I went out my house and walked to my school.

~

I went into the class, sat on my seat, packed my things out and waited. 

“Yo Tae! How are you?” 

“Totally tired! Gee, Yul” 

“Why are you tired? You’ve got eyebags, you know” Yul teased

“Gee Yul! I-“ 

Miss Lee came in and the lesson started. 

~

I glanced at Sica many times. But almost every time, she looked at Yul. 

Why would she? 

Why does that guy get her attention? 

Why doesn’t she look at 

? 

“Yah, Yul, she’s looking at you”

“What did you say?”

“Sica is looking at you”

Yul turned around and again, Sica immediately turned her attention to Miss Lee

“Gee, so what? Let her staring at me!” Yul said, raising his voice.

“I-“

I was cut off again by miss lee. 

“So kids, in a few months there will be a party for you all!"

Some were shouting ‘yeah’ and ‘Wuuuhuuu’. 

“So, let’s start with the lesson again”

Everyone was shouting ‘boo’ They’re funny. 

~

The school ended and Fany came running to me with her group.

“TaeTae! Will you go to the party?”

“Nah, I don’t know. Not really my style” 

“Geez, I thought you were cool!” I chuckled. 

“Anyway, me, Yoona, Seohuyn and Sica will go” 

At the mention of Sica I said: “Ah really? Hm.. I will think about it” 

I kept my cool but inside me I was jumping in joy. 

“Really? That would be awesome if you go! Tell the other to come too!” 

“Sure!” I said and smiled

With that, they left and I went to Soo, Yul, Sunny and Hyoyeon. 

“Hey guys, what do you think about the party?” 

Everyone said: “I will go”

I smiled, bid goodbye and went home. 

I can’t wait for that day to come.

Chapter 4

After 1 month

I laid in my bed, stared up the ceiling, while I heard to ‘Sure thing’ by Miguel. My arms spreaded out and my legs too. 

It felt good to lay in a comfortable bed. 

If you be the cash, I be the rubber band 

You be the match, I won’t be a fuse, BOOM 

Painter baby, You can be the nude 

Im the reporter baby, you can be the news 

Cuz you’re the cigarette, and im the smoker

We raise a bet, Cuz ur the joker 

You are the charm..... 

And I could be the blackboard, you can be the tar

And I could be the wall

I sighed. 

Even when the sky comes falling 

And even when the sun don’t shine, 

I got faith in you and I 

Put your pretty little hand in mine

Even when we’re down to the wire baby 

Even when its do or die 

We could do it baby, simple and plain, 

Cuz this love is a sure thing

I turned to my right. I sighed again. Why am I hearing those stuff? The music filled my ears, every single word rang into my head. I can’t sleep, why? I love to sleep. But at this moment, it’s so difficult to close my eyes. I sat up, shut my phone, crawled out my bed, took a book from the shelf, crawled back to bed, switch the lights on and began to read.

~

I glanced to my clock and it’s already 4am. But I still can’t sleep. I rested my arms behind my neck. My thought wandered.

“TaeTae! Will you go to the party?” 

“Anyway, me, Yoona, Seohuyn and Sica will go.”

Sica…

I stayed in bed, thought about sica until the alarm began to ring.

Gee Ge-

I went to the usual routine.

~

I sat on the bench, stared at students talking and whatever. I was bored. I put my earplugs in my ears and started the song ‘How to love’ by Lil Wayne but I don’t like Lil Wayne so I’ve got a cover by Clara C. 

A few minutes after I played the song over and over again, I felt something warm on my shoulder. I took my earplugs out and looked to my left. There she was again, leaned against my left shoulder, eyes closed. I stared at her. She looks so beautiful, so perfect. Her closed eyes, her cute little nose and her red kissable lips, it’s just perfect. 

I took off my brown leather jacket and hung it over body to keep her warm. I whispered as I stared into space: “Sica, I think I’m in love” 

The bell rung and I woke her up. She was sleepy so I gave her a piggyback to our classes. I sat her slowly and carefully down. I walked to my seat and stared into space again. The lesson began and I gave my attention to Miss lee.

~

School was over and Sica’s sleepy again because she slept through class and just woke up. So I brought her home. She went to dreamland again, after I held her. My hands were holding her thin legs and her hands were around my neck. I tried my best to hold her tight and to share some warmth. To be honest, I would love to hold her like that forever.

But before I knew it, we’re already at her front door. I rung the bell and waited a few seconds. A little girl peeked through the door. She widened her eyes and asked: “Is my sister drunk?” I chuckled. “No, she’s just sleepy so I brought her home.” The kid smiled, led me in, showed me the way to Sica’s room and followed me upstairs. 

I sat on her bed, let her down and tucked her under the bed sheets. The kid came to me and said: “Thank you unnie! I’m Krystal, you?” My lips curved up. “I’m Taeyeon, nice to meet you!” “Unnie always sleeps in class. Seems like she loves sleep a lot. Ah, sorry to be rude, but are you her girlfriend?” I blushed at her question. “N-No” She smiled and left to room with a wave. I stared back at Sica. She looked like an Angel. “Sica.. I.. “ I sighed and left the room.

~

I walked back home and was greet by mom and dad. They cooked a lot for me and my brother that day. “Honey, why are you so late?” Dad asked. “Sorry, I brought Sica home, she was sleeping, I can’t leave her in school” “It’s ok honey, have a nice meal” We began to eat until my phone vibrated. I opened it and saw a message from Sica.

[From Sica;]

Thanks Taengoo ♥

I closed it and began to eat with a smile on my face.

Chapter 5

“Taeng” Yul said. He looked at me with worried eyes. 

“Yes?” I turned to him. 

“You are weird. Did something happen?” Yul asked.

Yes, I fell in love.

 “No! Why do you think so?” I looked at him, putting up a weird face.

“You’re staring into spaces often and you are so quiet” Yul looked directly into my eyes.

“Aish, it’s nothing! Don’t worry buddy!” I punched him playfully on his arm.

He smiled and turned his attention to the lesson. But I turned my attention to Sica.

I’m afraid. Sica, would you be shocked if I confess to you? 

Would you tell me the same or would you slap me and go away? 

What would you do?

I want you Sica.

I stood up. “Miss Lee, sorry to disturb you but I’m not feeling well. Can I go out and take some fresh air?”

Miss Lee stopped teaching the class, looked at me and nodded. 

I felt Yul holding onto my hand. My friends stared at me. But I gave them just a fake smile and left.

~

I sat on the bench. I stared into space while I’ve got my earplugs in my ears. I listened to Lonely by 2ne1. I stayed there like 10 minutes thinking about a blonde girl. 

~

I came back and felt many eyes staring at me. I don’t care. I just hung my head low and walked back to my seat. But a hand grabbed my wrist. I wish it would be that person I’m thinking about but it’s just Miss Lee. 

“Taeyeon, are you feeling better now?”

“It’s ok Miss Lee. Don’t worry about me and just go on with your teaching.”

She stared at me with worry in her eyes. I bowed lightly and went to my seat. I rested my head on my table. 

“Tae, you seem very pale. Are you really ok?”

“Yes, it’s just a headache. Don’t worry”

It’s more than a headache

, I thought. I closed my eyes and blocked every sound coming into my ears.

~

Class ended and I was packing my things into my bag.

“Tae, are you alright?” I looked up and saw Sunny standing before me. 

“Yes” I smiled and hung the bag around my shoulder. I was about to walk out of class but then a sentence shocked me. 

“You’re lying. Do you think, I don’t notice it? We know each other since diapers!” I sighed. 

I turned around and saw Sunny with her arms crossed on her chest. I grabbed her wrist and drag her out the room. 

“I will tell you when we’re on our way home.” 

~

School ended and I walked home with Sunny.

“Now tell me Kim Taeyeon” She said, glaring at me.

That reminded me of Sica. I sighed.

“Sunny, I’m feeling weird.”

“What? Weird? Wait. Are you pregnant?” She said, totally shocked.

I punched her lightly. “Yah, are you silly? No, I’m not pregnant!”

“Good, now just get to the point already!” Sunny said with a pout on her face.

“I like Sica.” 

“So what? She’s nice.” Sunny said not knowing the meaning of it.

“No, I like her. I really really like her. More than a friend, you know” I whispered at the last sentence.

She stopped walking, mouth forming a big O. 

“Are you sure? I mean, you never had your first love” Sunny said, grabbing onto my arm.

“I don’t know. Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s because I really, really like her. 

“Nah~ just go home, figure out your feelings and tell me if you did it ok?” Sunny said with a smile.

“It’s ok, thanks Sunny.” 

“Geez, we’re best friends, did you forget it?” She asked and chuckled.

I smiled. Now, I will figure my feelings out. Yes, I just need to do it and then I know if I really love Sica.

~

“I’m home.” I said, kicking my shoes to the side and went in the kitchen.

“Honey, sit down and eat!” My parents said. 

“No it’s ok, I’m not hungry. Just save me a little bit from the Kimchi.” I said, walking upstairs to my room.

I shut the door. I need to take a nap. This headache is killing me.

Chapter 6

I woke up in the middle of the night. It was dark. I sat up, went to the bathroom and washed my face. I saw myself in the mirror. My face is so sad. I didn’t notice it until now. My brain was a mess. 

I

 was a mess. 

I walked out to my balcony. The night was clear and the stars were shining brightly. The air was fresh. I looked down the street. There were just a few people walking home or something like that. 

I breathed in and out, trying to relax. I looked up and saw the big white moon. I stared at it and to my surprise, I began to speak.

“Sica, are you already sleeping?”

I smiled.

“Can you even hear me Sica?”

My smile faded. I shook my head, let out a sigh and went back into my room. 

~

The sun shone through the curtains. I hated it. It just disturb my beautiful sleep! Geez, but I need to get out of my bed. I quickly wash myself, ran downstairs and headed to school.

~

“Taeng! I’ve got really cool news for ya!” Yul said as he sat down beside me.

“What?” I asked him, faking a bright smile.

“Sica asked for my number. Woah, I thought she’s shy but see!” He took out his phone, showed me her name on his phone with a cute picture of hers doing a peace sign. 

My smile faded.

“Y-yeah, that’s nice.” I faked a smile again. 

The teacher came in and the lesson began.

I didn’t know there were eyes watching me and Yul the whole time.

~

Lesson ended, I was packing things into my bag as suddenly someone pulled on my hand.

“YAH! What are you doing Sunny?!” I asked annoyed.

“What did Yuri showed you?” She asked, glaring at me the whole time.

“… Something” I said, averting my eyes to the floor.

“TELL ME NOW!” I flinched as she raised her voice.

“A picture of Sica with a peace sign. She asked Yul’s number.”

“So.. why are you so sad?” Sunny asked, not understanding me.

“He got a cute picture of her! But I don’t even have one!” I said angrily.

“Geez, Tae, It’s just a picture!” Sunny said and calmed me down.

I stayed silent. 

We bid goodbye as we stood in front of my house.

I came in and silence greeted me. They are probably at work or at school. I don’t care.

I ran into my room, threw my bag across the room and laid down the soft mattress. I don’t want to hear anything. I just want to sleep and so I closed my eyes.

Silence. 

I let out an frustrated sigh. Damn it! If I can, I would shut my brain off! Sica here, Sica there! Damn it!

Then I came to an idea. My mom has got some sleeping pills. I went into her room and started to search. 

As I opened her closet, I saw a small box at the bottom of the closet. I opened it and saw a lot of pills. There were pills for headache, toothache, stomachache and sleeping pills. 

Bingo

! 

I took one, closed the closet and headed to the kitchen. I poured out water in a glass and drank from it together with the pill. I headed upstairs and went directly into my bed. As I shut my eyes, dreamland already waited for me.

Chapter 7

I looked up and saw her running towards me. My smile widened and I spread my arms out for a hug.

I closed my eyes to enjoy the warmth but I only received a light breeze hitting my body. I opened my eyes and she wasn’t there anymore. Where was she? I turned around and found her hugging Yul tightly.

My vision started to blur. My smile dropped and my tears flowed out. I went to my knees and cried.

“Yul, I love you” She said with such a delightful smile.

Yul hugged her tighter and gave her a peck on her lips.

My heart broke in thousand pieces.

“Sica” I cried out.

She just ignored me.

“I love you! I love you!” I cried out as more tears flowed out.

Yul looked at me with an angry face.

“Damn it, this girl is going on my nerves!”

He came to me and kicked my face. My nose started to bleed. I didn’t fight back. I can’t. I’m too weak. I cried harder as my blood dripped down my chin and to my t-shirt.

I looked up and saw them walking away hand in hand. The smile on Sica’s face never left. She’s happy with Yul, while I’m here, crying my heart out.

Suddenly a hand slapped across my face.

I woke up. Tears flowed out my face as I looked into Sunny’s eyes.

“Tae, are you ok? You cried so much. I tried to wake you up but you didn’t move until I slapped you. Are you ok? You seem very pale! What did you dream?”

I sobbed. 

“Sunny, it’s o-ok… “

Sunny looked at me, she opened her mouth, but closed it. She held my hand, brought me into the bathroom and let me wash myself.

The water dripped down my body. It calmed me. But my heart hurts. Maybe I shouldn’t take the sleeping pills. I washed myself quickly, get dressed and went out.

~

“How are you Tae?” Sunny asked as we walked to school.

I stayed calm and said: “I’m fine Sunny. Don’t worry about me.”

She sighed. “Tae, you know, you’ve got a lot quieter now. You’re totally not yourself anymore.”

I stayed quiet until we arrive at class. 

She sat on her seat and I sat on my seat. My friends came in but as they saw me, they’ve got quiet. 

Yul came to me, sat on his seat and stared at me. He’s the last one I wanted to see.

“Taeng, what’s wrong? Your eyes are red. Did you cry?” Yul said, looking at my face.

“I-I’m fine Yul. Don’t worry about me.” I said.

Yul nodded and turned his attention to miss Lee as she came in.

~

School is over. I packed my bag, bid goodbye to Sunny and went out the room. 

“Taengoo, can you walk me home? I don’t want to go alone.”

I knew this voice, so I said: “Ok, let’s walk home sica.”

~

“It’s getting colder right Tae?” Sica said as she tightened her jacket around her body.

If I’m by you side, I never get cold

, I thought. “Ah, yes you’re right.” 

I glanced at her. “Sica, are you cold?” 

You are cold. Come here. I can share some warmth.

“Yes. Taengoo, hold my hands please.” She said, using her aegyo.

I chuckled and took her hand. “Is it ok?” I said as I rubbed her hands. 

“It’s totally good.” She said with a smile.

We walked hand in hand.

Sica, how long can I hold your hands like that?

 I thought as I looked up into the sky. 

“Taengoo, you are so quiet lately.” She said, stopped walking and looked at me.

I turned to her, faking a smile. “No. I’m not"

I didn't saw the sadness in her eyes at that momment.

“How are you?” Sica asked.

“I’m totally fine. How have you been?” I said, lying again.

“Uh. Fine. Oh we’re already at my house. Thanks Taengoo.” She smiled and hugged me.

I hugged her back. I closed my eyes, trying to memorize this feeling. After a few seconds, she broke the hug. 

“Thanks again. I will go in now Taengoo. See you.” She waved and went in. 

I stood outside and looked at the front door. The warmth immediately left me after she went in. The cold embrace me and it makes me shiver. I put my hands in my pocket and started to walk home.

Sica, how many times do I get to hug you again like this? 

Chapter 8

„yoboseyo?“

„Hey buddy!“

I made a grimace. „Hey Yul“

“How are you?” 

“I’m fine and you?”

“Fine! I just want to check on you.”

“Oh thanks, Yul”

I heard him laugh.

“Yah, still you’re really weird Taeyeon.”

“Why?”

“You’ve got a lot quieter now and you’re staring into spaces. You don’t look happy. Taeng, tell me the truth! Something is bothering you right?”

Damn it Yul! I’m in love with that blonde girl who asked your number!

 I thought. 

“There’s nothing Yul.” I said, trying to sound happy.

“Hm. Ok. But if there’s something, I’m here. “

“Ok. Thanks Yul.”

“Ok Taeng, take care! Bye!”

With that, I closed my phone. I let out a frustrated sigh. I let myself fell backwards onto my bed. I stared up the ceiling. 

After like 5 minutes a sudden knock echoed my room.

“Come in” I said, still staring at the ceiling.

My mom came in and sat beside me.

“Taeyeon, are you ok?” She said, her voice filled with worry.

“Ye-“ I was cut off by my mom.

“Don’t say yes, because there is definitely something wrong with you, Kim Taeyeon.” She glared at me.

I sighed. “Mom, what is love?” I stared up the ceiling. I thought, that question shocked my mom, because she doesn’t answered me right away. 

“Love is something we need in our live. There are many meaning behind the word love.” She paused.

“Tae, are you in love?” She looked at me. 

“I don’t know, mom. I don’t know.” I sighed as I averted my eyes to hers.

“You don’t know? Love, if you see this person, your 

heart

 starts to 

beat faster

. You 

want

 this person. You actually really 

 this person if you don’t 

 this certain someone. You would do 

anything

 for this person. You 

can’t let go

 of this person. This person gives you the 

warmth

 you need. This person fill 

your heart

 with 

love

. Taeyeon-ah, tell me.”

“Mom, this person gives me the warmth I need. I can’t and don’t want to let go of this person. I can do anything for this person. I’m always thinking about that person. Is it love?”

She smiled and held my hand. “Yes Taeyeon-ah, it’s love.”

Chapter 9

I leaned back and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes again. I stood up and smiled. I forgot the world around me but I remembered it. I actually forgot it because I was thinking about Sica. But right at this moment, I don’t want anything; I just want to be a person without worry. I forgot how it feels if I look at the nature and how it feels to stand in the middle of a flower field. This feeling was amazing. 

I walked slowly and carefully through the field. I touched softly the top of the flowers. It felt so amazing.

Each time I see you, my heart starts to pound, whenever you come around. Cause you are all I ne- [Big Mama - Baby you know]

That was my 

special

 ringtone for Sica.

“Yoboseo?” I smiled.

“

T-Taeng

” She sobbed.

My smile dropped. I shut my phone and ran.

I ran as fast as I could. I pushed others just to get to Sica. Some were shouting at me as I pushed them aside because I don’t care. 

~

I saw her sitting at the stairs in front of her house door, crying like a little kid.

I ran to her, kneeled down to her and hugged her.

“Sica, everything’s going to be ok. Shhh” I tried to calm her down but she just cried harder.

I replied again and again until she started to sob. 

“Sica, do you want to tell me now?” I asked, trying to use the right words. But I failed. She cried again.

I sighed. I broke the hug and looked at her. My tears started to come as I saw her. My heart hurt. It hurts to see her like that.

Her tears couldn’t stop and it’s still flowing down her beautiful face.

I raised my thumb and wiped her tears away. I rested my hands on her cheeks. She closed her eyes and just let the tears flow.

How I wish, I could kiss away that pain she’s feeling in that moment.

She rested her hands onto mine, giving me the warmth I need. 

I hugged her. But it wasn’t comfortable so I sat next to her on the stairs, held her up and let her sit on my lap and she was facing me. I looked at her, then I hugged her. She hugged me back with her arms around my neck, giving me more of the warmth.

I whispered: “Sica, please stop crying.” But she couldn’t stop. 

“Please, don’t let tears flow down your face. “

“You look really ugly like that” I said, trying to cheer her up, but I failed.

I rested my forehead onto hers. I looked at her and I fell for her more.

My heart was pounding loud as I realize the closeness between us. 

“Sica, please don’t cry anymore.” I said.

“It hurts to see you like that” I said, praying the tears to stop.

Slowly she started to sob and then she finally opened her eyes.

Those two brown orbs are so wonderful. 

The feeling of kissing her struck over me and I leaned closer.

My heart wants her so badly but my mind was full of questions.

What if it’s her first kiss?

What if she doesn’t love me?

What if that’s a mistake?

The questions went on and on until my nose touched hers.

Her cheeks turned into a light pink color and I was red like a tomato.

“S-Sorry” I stuttered.

“Y-yeah” She whispered.

I pulled back and asked:

“Do you w-want to tell me t-the story?” 

“Yes” She said, resting her head on my left shoulder and began.

Chapter 10

„Mom, I’m home. I hope you don’t mind because I’ve got someone with me.“

I shouted as I entered my house with Jessica, hand in hand.

My mom came out from the kitchen and saw us.

“Nope! It’s ok! You are..?” My mom asked, looking at Jessica.

“I’m Jessica Jung. “ She smiled and bowed.

Her lips curved up and she said: “Hello, no need to be like that! Make yourself home, Jessica!”

I looked at her and saw her grinning at my mom. 

“Thanks” I heard Sica said.

I think she was faking her smiles. 

I gave Sica’s hand a squeeze and we walked to my room.

We sat on my bed and I looked at her.

“Sica, I’m sorry. We don’t have a guest room. If you want to, I can sleep on the floor”

Sica shook her head. “It’s ok Taengoo. You can sleep with me”

I smiled. “Sica, let’s go down. My mom prepared dinner.”

“T-Taeng, can we just stay in bed? I –“

I stopped her with my index finger on her lips. 

“Sica, it’s ok. I understand.” I said and looked at her.

I stood up, took some comfortable clothes for her and led her in my bathroom. 

I changed mine quickly and then I laid on my bed.

Sica, I want to kiss you. I want to feel those soft lips on mine. 

I sighed.

I heard a click and there she stood with shorts and a big loosen t-shirt. 

“Is it ok Sica? If you want to, I can give you some other clothes to wear.”

She shook her head and said: “No it’s ok Taengoo.”

She crawled under the bed sheets and laid down next to me. With her back turned towards me, she laid there. Silence embraces us. I could even hear my heart thumping loudly against my chest. I hope she didn’t hear it. I swear, her cent crept into my nose, hypnotized me and her back lightly touching me, making me go wild. But I held the true Taeyeon back. I can’t let her know my feelings. 

After I laid there for a long time, my eyes weakened and they were about to close until I heard a sob.

Sica’s body was shaking lightly and her breath was uneven. She was crying the whole time. I was such a fool for not noticing it earlier.

I snaked my arm around her, trying to calm her down. I pressed myself closer to her but nothing calmed her down.

It pained me to hear her cry like this. It pained me to see her like this. I couldn’t stand it anymore and turned her around, facing me.

I could see her clearly because the moon was shining brightly that night.

I looked into her eyes and it pained me even more. Tears rolled down her beautiful face and onto the soft mattress.

My vision started to blur and I didn’t want her to see my tears so I quickly pressed her closer to my chest.

I stroke her hair softly and with that move, she cried harder.

I couldn’t bear it anymore and let my tears fall.

Flashback:

“My parent’s t-threw me out. They said I’m not their d-daughter.” With that, she stopped and started crying again. 

She rested her arms around my neck and pressed our body’s together and all I could was hugging her back. 

I don’t know the reason why her parents threw her out. But it angered me because Sica was crying.

I broke the hug and kneeled down before her.

“Come on, I’ll give you a piggyback and you will sleep with me tonight.”

I said and winked, trying to cheer her up.

She back hugged me and I stood up and began to go home.

End of flashback

Her sobs didn’t stop. Our body’s touched and we just stayed in bed.

I caressed her back until I broke the silence.

“Just let everything out Sica.” She cried even harder and hugged me tighter. 

I couldn’t really breathe but that doesn’t matters.

Sica, let me feel your body pressing onto mine.

I will cherish every moments we will have in the future.

Her sobs came to a stop and her chest rose up and down in the steady rhythm. 

I looked at her. She fell asleep. I planted a soft kiss on her forehead. 

“

Sica, I love you

” I whispered to no one.

Once again, my tears rolled down my face.

Chapter 11

I woke up with a sleeping angel in my arms. It was like a dream. But I knew who that Angel was. Last night she faced me but today, the sleeping beauty was showing me her back. My left arm was supporting her neck in a more comfortable position and my right arm was lying beside Sica’s back. I pressed myself closer and sniffled her scent in my nose. That’s the best morning I ever had. I slipped my right hand under the bed sheets and searched for Sica’s hand. In a smooth movement I intertwined our fingers. I smiled and closed my eyes again. 

Suddenly my mom came in, saw us like that and widened her eyes. I whispered loud enough for her to hear: “Shhh, she’s still sleeping mom.” 

She nodded, smiled, closed the door and went away.

Sica began to stir and soon opened her eyes. I quickly took my arm on her body away.

“Good morning Sica.” I said and smiled.

She smiled and cuddled to me. 

“You’re so warm Taengoo.” She said, took my arm and put in on her waist.

“Hold me and share some warmth Taengoo.” She said.

I smiled and hugged her.

Then her voice broke the silence.

“Taeng, can I stay by your side till my parents ask me to come home?”

With closed eyes, I nodded.

If you want to, you can stay forever by my side.

I smiled and asked: “Sica, are you hungry? Let’s eat breakfast?”

She nodded and broke the hug. She took my hand and I led her to the kitchen. Sica greeted my family and sat next to me. Actually, she isn’t an ice princess at all. We began to eat.

“Mom, dad, can Sica stay here for a few weeks or longer?” I asked, looking at them with hopeful eyes.

Mom looked at me and then looked at dad. They both nodded.

I smiled and looked at Sica. She smiled and thanked them. 

I finished my sandwich and said: “So you will stay with me. Should I go to your parents and take your clothes?”

She smiled sweetly. “No it’s ok Taengoo. Krys can bring my clothes! I will call her.” 

She was about to stand up but I grabbed her hand. 

“First finish your meal.” I said and smiled. 

She sat on her chair and began to finish her breakfast. 

~

Sica called Krys. But Krystal didn’t pick up so Sica send her a text message instead. With that, we need to wait.

~

“Taengoo. I haven’t got a towel. Could you give me one?” Sica asked from the bathroom.

“Why don’t you go and get one? I’m too lazy.” I said. 

I don’t need to shout because I’ve got a private bathroom for my room. It’s really cool right?

“Taengoo, b-but I’m naked.” She whispered at the last word but I heard it. My eyes widened and my heart starts to beat faster. 

I stayed quiet until she asked: “Taeng, you still there?”

“Y-Y-Yes Sica, I will bring you a towel.” I said, trying hard not to stutter.

I stood up and took a towel out of my closet. Step by step I went to the bathroom door. 

My heart pounded loudly against my chest and my breath was uneven. 

Geez, it was like after a short make out session I thought. 

I knocked softly on the door and a hand came out.

“Towel please.” I handed it to her. “Thanks, Taengoo.”

And she closed the door. I stood there, frozen until the door opened, revealing a Jessica Jung only wrapped in a towel. My mouth hangs open and beads of sweats formed on my hands and on my forehead.

Hell was she hot. 

The wet from her hair dropped down her bare shoulder. 

Then there were drops on her arms.

I can see her sexy legs. 

I gulped and stepped back.

She was 

very

 wet.

“S-sorry, I haven’t got any clothes. Can I borrow some?”

“Y-yes.”

I went to my closet and took out comfortable clothes. It was a very thin red hot pant and white shorts.

“Uhm, I hope it’s ok. Today is really hot.” Hot, very hot.

“Sure, thanks.” With that, she took the clothes and went in the bathroom again.

I fell backwards and landed on the soft mattress called bed.

Oh My God. It was 

 hot

I need to get fresh air.

I stood up and opened my window.

I took many deep breaths until the door creaked open and Sica came out. 

“Taeng, you’re ok?”

“Yes!” I said, without looking at her.

She hugged my back and her breath hit my shoulder. 

Why are you hugging me like that?

That skin ship makes me fall for you even more.

Chapter 12

„Morning Sica. “ I said as she opened her eyes. She smiled and snuggled closer to me. It’s always the same. I love it.

I love how she sleeps

I love how she opened her eyes

I love how she smiled

And I love how she pressed her body closer to me.

But I hated one thing: I can’t greet her with a ‘Good morning love’.

At this thought I know, she’s not mine. 

I don’t have her heart. 

And it pained me to know that.

I want her.

I need her.

I love her.

I climbed out of bed and washed myself. After that, Sica washed herself and we went to school.

~

“Taeng, how are you?” Sunny asked as she approached me.

“I’m fine, you?” I said.

“I’m Fine. Anything new?” 

“Sica moved to me.” 

“WHAT?” She shouted.

“Geez Sunny, please don’t shout.” I said eyeing her weirdly.

“Sorry, anyway, did you think about your feelings?” 

I nodded. 

“So?” She looked at me and we stopped walking.

“I talked with my mom and yes I’m in love” I said, clutching onto my books.

Her mouth hangs open and she stuttered: “D-does Sica loves you?”

“I don’t think so. I mean, she asked Yuls number and she’s so weird around Yul.”

“Taeng, why don’t you just ask this guy?” She said.

“I’m afraid of the answer.”

Suddenly Yul popped out of nowhere and greeted us.

“Hey shorties, how are you guys?” He said, resting his arms on my and Sunny’s shoulder. 

“Uh, fine.” We both said. 

We walked to our class and then I felt a tap on my back.

I looked to my right and saw Sunny giving me the ‘Do it’ look.

~

I nodded and then we sat on our seats.

Yul yawned.

“Hey Yul”

He turned to me and raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, nothing.” I smiled awkwardly.

“Taeng, you are a weird girl.” He smiled and punched me lightly.

Hyori, miss Lee came in and the lesson began.

~

“So class, next week is the party. It starts at 5 pm and ends at 10 am on the next day.”

Everyone shouted happily. 

And after that, the lesson went on.

~

“Tae, ladies night?” Fany asked as she walked with me and Sica home.

I looked at Sica and said: “Sure, but where?”

“At my house! 3pm ?”

I smiled and asked: “Is it ok Sica?”

“Sure” she said and smiled.

“Ok, I will pick you two up!”

“Uh Mushroom, you don’t need to go to Sica’s house.” 

I said and smiled.

“Why? But Sica, I thought you’re coming?” She pouted.

Sica smiled and said: “I live with Taengoo right now.” 

“What?” 

“Long story, we will talk about it ok? Now go into your house, we’re already there.”

“Geez, anyway, bye TaeTae, bye Sica.” She bid goodbye and went in her house.

Sica grabbed my hand and we began to walk.

“I’m so hungry Taeng.” She pouted.

I intertwined our fingers and smiled.

“What do you want to eat princess?” I chuckled at my cheesy nickname for her.

She smiled wildly and said: “Uhm, everything that you can cook.” 

“Sure.” I smiled and we went home.

~

“Bon appetite Madame Jung .” I said and laughed.

“Whoa, what’s that Taengoo?”

“It’s called ‘Cordon Bleu’ with French fries!” 

She tasted it and then she smiled such a delightful smile.

“It’s so delicious!” I smiled.

And I began to eat too.

~

‘Ding’

We both walked to the door and I opened it.

“Hi fany!” We waved.

“Ready?” She said in English.

I nodded, took Sica’s hand and we hopped into Fany’s car.

I never knew about her car but that’s not important.

~

We entered her house and I saw all 5 girls sitting there waiting for us.

“I’ll bring some snacks for you all! Wait” Fany said and went into the kitchen.

We greeted us and I saw Sunny.

Sunny was staring at my hands then back at me.

I just smiled. 

We sat on the couch and then Fany came back with many snacks.

Sooyoung grabbed some chocolate and ate it with Yoona.

“Sica, do you want anything?” I asked and turned to her.

“Those jelly worms please.” I gave it to her and she thanked me.

Suddenly Fany said: “You two looked like an old married couple.”

I blushed at her comment and Sica laughed and said: “If it seems like that, Taeng will be the man.”

They laughed at me and Sica put her arms around my shoulders and teased me.

“I love you honey” With that sentence, she killed me.

Yes, I was dead at that moment.

My heart stopped.

My world stopped.

My life stopped.

Everything around me stopped.

Until lots of laughter’s filled the living room. 

“Oh my god, look at her face!”

“It’s red like a tomato!”

Minutes passed by and the laughter’s died down.

I was still dead.

Suddenly a voice next to me asked me: “Taengoo, are you ok?”

I let out a breath and turned to her.

“Y-y-yes.”

“haha, look at her! She’s stuttering!” Sooyoung said, laughing her a$$ off.

Then Sica glared at Sooyoung and she didn’t say anything anymore.

“Tae, looks like you’re not into those lesbian stuff eh?” 

I stayed quiet.

Sica smiled and hugged me.

“I was just kidding Taeng. I don’t love you. I love you as a 

! Ok?”

My heart exploded.

Chapter 13

They talked and talked until I raised my voice a bit.

“Excuse me, but where’s your toilet Fany?” I faked a smile and looked at her.

She took my hand and showed me the way to the toilet.

As we were alone in front of the toilet she looked at me.

“Tae, are you ok?” She rested her right hand on my left shoulder.

I faked a smile again and said: “Yes, I think I drank too much coke. Don’t worry.”

I turned the doorknob and went in. I locked the door and went to the sink.

My vision started to blur. I’m 

weak

. I shouldn’t cry. 

Why should I cry?

There are probably 

thousand women and men

 out in the world that can be better than Jessica Jung.

But there’s a problem.

I don’t want anyone.

I just want 

Jessica Jung Sooyeon.

My tears fell down.

I made a grimace.

It hurts. 

It hurts too much for me to bear.

I started to sob.

Afraid that the girls could hear me, I raised my hand and put it in my mouth to silence the sobs.

Suddenly a knock came through the door.

“Taeng, are you ok?”

No, not at all! Please love me more than a sister. 

“Y-yes Sica, my stomach hurts. I w-will come out s-soon.”

I didn’t receive a response. I think she went away.

I put my hand that was in my mouth to stop the loud sobs away and started to sob in the quiet room.

I can’t hold it back. I rested my arms on the sink and cried.

I thought, love is something 

beautiful

, something that 

can’t describe in words

.

But right in that moment, all I could feel was 

pain

.

It feels like, the most important person stabbed me right in my heart.

It hurts so much. 

I closed my eyes and let the tears flow. 

I slowly calmed down and my sobs came to a stop.

I washed my face and went out. 

They noticed me, then looked at me and Fany asked.

“Tae, do you want stomachache pills?” She looked at me, worry filled her eyes.

“No, it’s ok. I’m feeling better now.” I said, faking a smile.

I searched for Sica’s eyes. But she looked at the floor.

Did she hear me?

Did she know about my feelings?

I walked slowly to her and sat down next to her.

They all began to talk again but Sica remained quiet.

She was so lively and now, she’s so quiet.

What’s wrong?

Did I miss something?

Suddenly a hand grabbed mine and then the hand entwined our fingers.

With that, all my pain washed away.

How could this person make me feel like that?

It’s not normal.

Fany raised her voice and said:

“Anybody wants to watch Twilight?” 

Everybody nodded and she started the movie.

It was quiet.

My hands were holding the hands from the most important person ever.

She rested her head on my shoulders.

I liked it.

But then the pain came rushing back.

She doesn’t love me

She doesn’t love me more than a sister.

She’s the person that makes me like the happiest person on earth.

But she’s the person that makes me cry.

She’s the person that gives me those feelings.

It’s so unreal.

~

“Fany, I think I should go home with Taeng. She looks pale. Anyway I’ll be going now.”

Without waiting for a response, she grabbed my hand and went out of Fany’s house.

“Yah, what are you doing Sica?”I held her back as we were in front of the door.

She didn’t say anything and just dragged me behind her.

~

She was acting 

so strange

.

~

Suddenly I found myself in a park.

Why would she drag me to a park?

It was dark.

There were only a few people on the street.

So why would she?

I looked at her back.

“Taeng,.... are you in love with me?”

It shocked me.

I gulped and averted my eyes to the dark ground that I almost can't see.

“What? No! Why should I?” I lied.

She turned to me and cupped my face with her small hands.

“Taengoo, please tell me the truth.” She looked at me with those pleading eyes.

I looked in her eyes for a long time then I said: “I don’t love you”

“Don’t say that! I know you love me! I heard you cry in the bathroom!”

Oh ****, she got me.

“I cried because my stomach hurts so much.”

“STOP LYING!” She shouted as tears streamed down.

Why did she cry?

I grabbed both her hands and said: “I didn’t lie.”

My tears welled up my eyes but I tried my best to hold them back.

Suddenly she leaned closer and her lips landed on mine.

It was a deep kiss. 

I closed my eyes but then she pulled back.

“What do you feel?” She raised her voice.

I opened my eyes and looked at her.

“You liked it, don’t you?! I knew it! You do love me!!” She shouted at me.

I never saw this side of hers. My heart was aching.

“I don’t like it!!” I shouted back at her.

“Why did you close your eyes then?!” Her voice grew louder.

“Because… it’s my first kiss.” I tried my best to hold my feelings down.

She looked at me. Tears still streamed down her face.

Then she slapped me.

“Liar.” She whispered.

I closed my eyes, hoping the pain in my chest would stop.

“Why are you closing your eyes?” She shouted. Pain filled her voice.

“Open them!” She slapped me again.

“I said, OPEN THEM!!” She slapped me harder.

“Ok, I will tell you one thing! I love Yul!!”

My heart breaks. My soul leaves me. My life shattered. 

“My parents threw me out because they don’t accept him!”

She whispered, her voice cracked.

“Fine, just close your eyes forever and hide your feelings forever!” She shouted and ran away.

I opened my eyes and saw her running away.

I ran as fast as I can to her.

I back hugged her.

“Don’t go. Please”

Her sobs filled the empty surrounding.

“Don’t leave me.” 

“Why?” She whispered.

“Please just don’t go away.” My voice cracked.

I tried my best to not say those 3 words.

“You idiot.” She turned around and hugged me tightly.

“I’m so sorry Sica. I shouldn’t shout at you. I’m so sorry.”

“Shut up you idiot.” She whispered, still crying like a little kid.

“Let’s go home.” With that, I broke the hug, entwined our fingers and went home.

~

“Mom, we’re home.”

Mom looked at us.

She nodded but gives me the “What’s wrong with Jessica” look.

I lowered my head and just went with Sica in my room.

I entered the room and it was dark.

I turn the lights on and said: “Go and change into more comfortable clothes Sica.”

I felt how she nodded and she went into the bathroom.

I changed quickly into comfortable clothes and then I lay in my bed.

I closed my eyes, trying to erase that pain in my heart.

‘Click’

She closed the bathroom door carefully and crawled to me.

She hugged me and her breath tickled my ear.

But it still hurts.

“I’m sorry Taengoo.” She used the pet name.

I stayed quiet.

I wanted her to believe that I was already sleeping so I stir and turned around to face her.

Eyes still closed and I tried to breath in a sleeping rhythm.

I felt her coming closer to me. 

“I’m so sorry but I love Yul.” 

She started to sob.

“I know, you do love me because I can see it through the way you are looking at me.”

I wished she would stop saying those things because it hurts so much.

“Why don’t you tell me the truth Taengoo?”

I held back my tears.

“You idiot. Why are you holding your feelings back?”

She spoke, her voice filled with pain.

She caressed my cheek with her small warm hands.

“Taengoo, you idiot.” 

Then I felt her lips pressing lightly against mine.

I couldn’t held my tears back and I let it flow down.

It 

hurts

 so much.

Chapter 14

Sica’s POV

[Begin at chapter 13]

“I was just kidding Taeng. I don’t love you. I love you as a sister! Ok?”

I smiled and snaked my arm around her shoulders, pressing her closer to me.

I looked at her face.

Her smile was gone and there she sat, with a frown in her face.

I stayed quiet.

They talked again. They talked about school.

After a long time I turned to look at Taeyeon.

She still has that frown in her face, the brightness in her vanished.

I stared at her, thinking why her smile faded and a frown is placed on her face.

Then she suddenly said: Excuse me, but where’s your toilet Fany?” 

She smiled and looked at Fany.

Her smile didn’t reach her eyes at all.

Then she stood up and followed Fany.

I stared at her back.

Even her walking was strange.

She looks like a lifeless person.

What’s going on?

Is she… in love with me?

That would be impossible!

I mean, she’s straight right?

I averted my eyes to the floor, deep in my thoughts.

“Taeng is so strange, don’t you think?” Fany asked, I looked up at her.

“N-no, she’s like that if somebody makes her blush or something like that.” Sunny said, smiling awkwardly.

Why was she stuttering?

There’s something fishy going on here.

Everyone nodded.

“I will go and look how she’s doing.” I said, stood up and was about to walk to the toilet.

I saw Sunny shocked expression and it makes me more curious.

I walked to the toilet door and knocked.

“Taeng, are you ok?” I asked.

Her answer came a little later.

“Y-yes Sica, my stomach hurts. I w-will come out s-soon.”

I stood there, lightly leaning against the door to hear her.

My heart breaks.

Sobs filled the bathroom.

She was crying.

Was it because of me?

I didn’t want her to open the door and see me standing there so I went back to the girls and sat on the couch.

Was she crying because of me?

Was it my fault?

What did I say?

“I was just kidding Taeng. I don’t love you. I love you as a sister! Ok?”

Shocked from what I said, I widened my eyes.

She came out of the bathroom and walked towards me.

My heart beats faster.

I didn’t want to look at her so I averted my eyes to the floor.

I thought, she would shout at me for breaking her heart but all she did was sitting down beside me.

They all began talking but I remained quiet.

Then with a quick movement I took her hand and intertwined our fingers.

I glanced at her and she was surprised but then she smiled.

With such a small touch, her mood changed.

And at that moment, I knew it.

She was in love with me.

~

I was never interested in Twillight and was about to sleep but then I remembered about Taeyeon.

So I took the chance and said: “Fany, I think I should go home with Taeng. She looks pale. Anyway I’ll be going now.”

I looked at Sunny and saw her shocked expression.

With Taengoo’s hand in my hand I dragged her out of the house.

Who cares for a response anyway?

I slammed the door behind me and was about to walk somewhere so I can talk with her.

But then she asked: Yah, what are you doing Sica?” She held me on my hand and didn’t let me go.

My expression darkened and I just dragged her with me.

~

We needed to talk.

She can’t hide her feelings forever!

Even a superman can’t do that!

I stopped and was surprised that my legs took me to an empty park.

I gulped and took all my courage together and a question left my lips.

“Taeng, are you in love with me?”

For a moment, I thought she didn’t hear my question but actually, she was nervous.

“What? No! Why should I?” She said, almost too quickly. I knew she would lie.

I turned around to see those brown round eyes. 

Those eyes showed me how much she loved me. 

How much she needed me.

How much she wanted to say those 3 words out loud.

I caressed her cheeks.

“Taengoo please tell me the truth.” I said, trying to make my eyes like puppies.

I know, those who are in love with me, they can’t resist!

She looked at me for a long time and then she broke the silence.

“I don’t love you.” 

My heart hurts.

This idiot was hiding her feelings all the time!

I closed my eyes for a moment to erase that anger.

“Don’t say that! I know you love me! I heard you cry in the bathroom!”

I shouted, totally angry at this idiot.

She stayed calm and said: “I cried because my stomach hurts so much.”

My temper grew and my tears began to well up to my eyes.

It’s a habit for me to cry whenever I’m angry.

I closed my eyes for a moment.

I opened them, tears already flowing down my face and I shouted:

“STOP LYING!”

She grabbed both my hands and said: “I didn’t lie.”

I looked at her.

Pain filled her eyes.

Her soul keeping a dark secret.

And her body lifelessly.

I decided to do a move that could change her forever.

I leaned closer.

My lips connected with her.

I closed my eyes.

Her body tensed up but was relaxing afterwards.

I knew it.

She would give in somehow.

Actually, the kiss wasn’t really an important thing for me.

My first kiss was with Fany.

She enjoyed it so I pulled away.

It was a deep kiss.

I looked at her.

She has her eyes closed.

Her lips yearned for more.

Her breath quickened.

And her eyebrows furrowed together as I pulled away.

“What do you feel?” I raised my voice.

She slowly opened her eyes. 

Her eyes were telling me to stop, telling me to stop hurting her.

“You liked it, don’t you?! I knew it! You do love me!!” I shouted at her.

I waited for an answer like “Yes, I do” but I received something unexpected.

“I don’t like it!!” She shouted.

My anger raised and my voice grew louder, causing a really big scene in the dark night.

“Why did you close your eyes then?!” 

She bit her lower lip. 

“Because… it’s my first kiss.” Her voice softened.

I don’t know if it’s the truth.

I looked at her, waiting for her to say something.

I couldn’t held my anger in and raised my hand to slap her.

“Liar.” I whispered, voice shaken.

She closed her eyes.

Did I attack her heart with that word?

“Why are you closing your eyes?” I shouted.

She’s making it so hard for me.

Tears streamed down my face.

My make up ruined.

“Open them!” I slapped her again.

She still has her eyes closed.

She’s such a fool.

“I said, OPEN THEM!!” I slapped her hard across the face.

“Ok, I will tell you one thing! I love Yul!!”

I can’t believe it.

I actually said my secret.

I was shocked! 

Her face seemed paler as the time passed by.

I hoped she would shout a me and say those 3 words.

But nothing came out of her lips.

She stood there like a lifeless zombie.

More tears streamed down my face.

She’s hurt. 

I hurt her.

My hand was pressing against my mouth.

I was trying to suppress my sobs.

Slowly, I put my hand away and whispered.

“My parents threw me out because they don’t accept him!”

I waited for a response.

But she still stayed quiet.

“Fine, just close your eyes forever and hide your feelings forever!” 

I shouted and turned around.

Step by step, I ran away from her.

I crossed the street ad was about to turn the corner.

But then, short arms hugged my waist.

A body pressed onto my back.

“Don’t go. Please.”

Her voice was soft, almost inaudible to hear.

My sobs filled the empty surrounding.

“Don’t leave me.” She begged me. 

“Why?” I whispered. 

Pain filled my heart as she still begged me to stay.

Her voice cracked as she said: “Please just don’t go away.”

It hurts me more than anything.

I turned around and rested both my arms on her neck.

I pressed her close to me.

“You idiot.” I mumbled into her neck.

She tensed up, probably my breath tickled her.

My tears trickled down her neck.

“I’m so sorry Sica. I shouldn’t shout at you. I’m so sorry.”

She just kept on saying I’m sorry.

I smiled softly and said: “Shut up you idiot.”

She broke the hug and looked into my eyes.

I could see her tears stained face.

“Let’s go home.” She took my hand, intertwined our fingers and began to walk.

My body was following her.

I don’t know which street we are at but all I can see is Taeyeon.

She looked at the stars filled sky.

Does she even know the way back home?

She was in deep thought.

I stayed quiet.

I smiled secretly as I saw our fingers.

~

The door opened and Miss Kim saw us.

“Mom we’re home.”

A greet and she nodded.

She led me into her room.

We entered the room. 

It was quiet and dark.

With a quick movement, she switched the lights on.

“Go and change into more comfortable clothes Sica.”

I nodded and release her hand.

I went into the bathroom.

I changed into my clothes and washed my face.

I looked into the mirror.

Suddenly the pained expression from Taeng appeared in my head.

My heart sank. 

“I’m sorry Taengoo.”

I whispered.

I took my clothes and placed them next to Taeyeons other clothes.

Slowly and quietly I opened the bathroom door.

I eyed Taeyeon’s body on the bed.

Her eyes closed.

She already changed into comfortable clothes.

I closed the door and crawled to her.

Her back was facing me so I hugged her.

Her breath was uneven; I knew she wouldn’t sleep so fast.

My body was pressing against her back.

My face pressed into her neck.

“I’m sorry Taengoo.” I whispered.

Suddenly she turned around, eyes still closed.

I backed away in time so she won’t hit me in the face.

I laid there, staring at this beautiful face.

My tears started to come once again.

I leaned closer to her.

“I’m so sorry but I love Yul.”

I started to sob.

How can she sleep so soundly after what happened between us?

My hands balled into fists.

“I know, you do love me because I can see it through the way you are looking at me.”

I whispered.

She doesn’t move. She just lay there.

“Why don’t you tell me the truth Taengoo?”

Her eyebrows furrowed a little bit.

Her eyes still shut.

“You idiot. Why are you holding your feelings back?”

I think I’ve got another nickname for her: 

idiot

Slowly, my hand caressed her cheek.

My thumb brushed against her cheek, to her nose and to her lips.

Her lips were soft.

“Taengoo, you idiot.”

I leaned closer.

Before I pressed our lips together, I looked up to her.

She still has her eyes closed.

I pressed softly onto her lips.

Noses lightly touching.

My heartbeat quickens.

My breath quickens.

The kiss was innocent.

But it was pure of love.

This was the only thing I can give her.

I opened my eyes and saw her crying.

It breaks my heart.

I pressed myself closer.

My arms wrapped around her neck.

I slowly nibbled on her lower lips.

Receiving no response for another step, I pulled away.

I looked at her.

Tears streamed down her face and onto the bed.

I didn’t want to see her like that anymore and hide my face in her neck.

“Just tell me the truth Taengoo.” I whispered.

After a minutes she wrapped her arms around my body.

We stayed for a long time like that until her voice broke the silence.

“I love you Jessica Jung Sooyeon.” 

My ears perked up but I stayed quiet.

“I love you.”

My tears started to come.

“Do you know how much I wanted to say those 3 words?”

Her body started to shake.

I bit my lower lips and tried to suppress my tears.

“Do you know how far I would go for you?”

I held my breath.

“Do you know why I want to hide my feelings, Sica?” 

“I do this because I want you to be 

happy

.”

My tears escaped my eyes.

“I don’t want to be in your way to happiness.”

Her voice broke.

“I-it’s ok to feel heartbroken.”

My heart ached.

“I-I’m happy if I see you smile.”

I felt how she moved and planted a little kiss on my forehead.

“I love you Sica.”

Chapter 15

I woke up.

Back faced Taeyeon.

Her arms were wrapped around my waist.

Carefully I turned around to face her.

Last night event appeared in my head again.

I sighed.

My index finger touched her cheeks lightly.

I smiled softly.

I leaned closer and planted a kiss on her lips.

I liked to kiss her.

I was like a hero.

It felt like, I could save someone from the pain.

But then I remember the pain.

I sighed.

I kissed her again.

This time, I didn’t pull away.

Suddenly a click echoed the room.

I pulled away and landed on the pillow.

My nose touched hers lightly.

Our lips were a few centimeters away.

I closed my eyes.

Footsteps were coming closer.

“Taeyeon, school will start in an hour.”

Miss Kim shook Taeng lightly.

Taeyeon began to move.

She groaned and pressed herself closer to me.

Her breath hit me.

My heartbeat quickened.

Suddenly Miss Kim whispered: “Hey, be careful. You’re going to kiss her if you get closer.”

She jolted up, letting me falling softly onto the bed.

“Oh my god mom, don’t say that! What if she can hear us?”

I tried to hide my smile.

You idiot, I can hear you clearly.

“Geez, mom, don’t grin like that!” I heard her raising her voice a litle bit.

“Aigoo, just make sure to wake her up.” With that, she left the room I thought.

I felt the bed shift.

I heard a door being opened and then being closed.

I opened one eye and looked at my surrounding.

Taeng went into the bathroom probably. 

I sat up and ruffled my hair.

I'm still tired.

I yawned.

I went out of bed and went to the window. I looked down and smiled. 

The sun was shining brightly. 

The students, kids and adults were walking down the street. 

I opened the window and breathed in the fresh air that filled the room.

I rested my chin on my hands which laid on the window.

I pouted.

Life was such a difficult thing.

Love was such a complicated thing.

I sighed.

Suddenly the bathroom door opened and Taeng came out, fully dressed

"Good morning, Sica." I smiled.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked

Actually, I know, she doesn't sleep at all. 

I was awake all the time, hearing her crying next to me.

I gulped and looked into those sad brown orbs.

"Sure, how about you?" She smiled, totally faking her smile.

My smile dropped for a moment but I quickly smiled again.

"Sure!" I said, smiling. 

She grinned, sat on the bed and asked: "Do you want to go to school with these clothes?" 

My eyebrows furrowed. "Today I don't feel like doing anything." I smiled.

"Yah, we can't skip school. If my mom knows about it, she will kill us." 

I turned my back to her and stared out the window.

"Today is such a beautiful day. Why do we need to waste our time at school?" 

I felt her staring at my back.

Suddenly I felt something moving beside me and I looked to my left.

Her back pressed against the cold wall, staring lovingly at me.

She opened her mouth but stopped half track.

"No, we can't. Sorry Sica." She said, avoiding my eyes.

This girl is so complicated.

I went to her side and cupped her face in my hands.

"Hey, look at me." 

She looked up, meeting my eyes.

"You don't need to apologize. Don't do that." I whispered.

I hoped she would know my meaning.

Because, everytime she would apologize, even if it's not her fault.

Like yesterday.

It was my fault for not loving her.

It was my fault for hurting her.

And she still apologize.

I stared into those sad brown eyes.

I wanted to kiss her.

I want to save this girl out of this pain.

So I leaned closer.

"S-Sica, you need to change. School will start soon." She cupped my face, stopping me from going further.

I stopped and looked at her.

This was a chance for her to kiss me.

This was a chance for her to confess.

But this idiot just ruined it.

I turned my back to her and went into the bathroom.

The daily routine began.

~

We walked to school.

"Taengoo." I grabbed her hand and intertwined our fingers.

No response.

I looked at her.

She was in deep thoughts again. 

Eyes staring at the blue sky, soul still there but her mind was at an other place. 

I sighed.

"You idiot." I muttered under my breath and let go of her hand.

~

"Jessi, Jessi, Jessi, Jessi."

"What?" I said in english and glared at Fany.

She gave me an eyesmile and responsed in english: "Do you know what's going on with TaeTae?"

My glare softened and I sighed.

"Jessi, you do know something. Tell me." She nudged me.

"I don't think she would want the world to know it."

"Yah, I'm not telling anyone! Promise." She said, looking me with that puppy eyes.

"I don't know Fany-ah."

"Please?" She started to pout.

Geez, that girl was so irritating!

And the worse thing, I sat beside her. 

"Ok, but.. please don't tell anyone and I really mean it." 

She nodded like a little kid.

Cute though.

I looked at Taeng. 

She was listening to the teacher.

I leaned closer to Fany, my lips lightly touching her ear then I whispered.

"Taengoo is in love with me."

Her excited expression turned into a surprising one.

"Oh. My. God." She whispered loud enough for me to hear.

It was funny because I thought she would freak out. But actually, she whispered. 

She looked at me, eyes widened, hands grabbed mine and squeezed. 

"Do you love her too?" I shook my head, ashamed I lowered my head.

"Hey, don't be like that." She held my chin up. 

I looked past Fany to Taeng. 

She looked at me with those sad eyes.

The tears came and Fany quickly hugged me.

"Fany, I hurt her. She cries because of me. It's my entire fault."

She patted my back and whispered: "No, it's not your fault. You can't choose who you will fall in love with." 

She was right. 

I pulled lightly back.

"Actually Fany-ah, I'm still in love with the person next to Taengoo." I sobbed.

She looked behind her and then back to me.

She sighed.

"He doesn't love you! He broke up! Did you forget that? Well.. Does he still love you?"

"I don't know." I pulled away and looked at my feet.

A sigh escaped her lips again.

"I don't know how to help you, Jessie."

Thumbs brushed against my cheeks, drying my tears.

I looked past Fany once again, staring at Taeyeon.

She changed her position.

Her head in her arms.

Face fully covered by her arms.

She was shaking lightly.

Was she crying?

Yul tapped her lightly and whispered some words that I couldn't hear.

Taeng nodded shortly after the words left Yul's mouth.

What's going on?

~

"Taengoo, are you ready to go home?"

She nodded weakly and we began to head home.

After a while, I started a conversation. 

I didn't like this awkward silence.

And I needed to talk with her.

"Taengoo, how are you?" I started off with a simple question.

"Fine and you?" She asked back, eyes fixed on the ground.

"Fine. Why don't you look at me while speaking?" I asked straight to the point why she didn't look at me.

She looked up, a little bit surprised at my question, she said: "I'm sorry."

I wanted to shout at her but I just couldn't after looking at this pain in her eyes.

I remained quiet. 

Slowly I slipped my hand in hers and intertwined our fingers.

"Taengoo."

"Yes?" This time, looked at me while speaking.

"I'm sorry about yesterday."

She tensed up, took deep breaths and looked at the ground again.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't want to slap you. I just couldn't bear to see you like that."

"See me like what?" 

"See you drowning in pain."

"What?" She faked a laugh. "Geez, I'm happy that you love my buddy! Why should I be in pain?" 

I sighed.

"Taeng, don't pretend like you don't know what we're talking about."

"Haha, I really don't know what we're talking about." She laughed, punching me playfully.

That was all fake. 

Pure fake.

"Ok." I didn't know what to say. I really don't want to hurt her more.

But I need to hear her confess.

I want her to confess.

I want her to say I love you.

"What do you feel when you're holding my hand like that?"

She blinked a few times.

"Nothing, 

pure friendship

." She grinned. 

"What do you feel if I hug you like this?" I let go of her hands and wrapped my arms around her shoulders.

"

Pure friendship

, Jessica." She whispered in my ear.

I pulled away.

I'm not going to give up.

"What do you feel when I look at you in the eyes?" I whispered. 

She looked lovingly at me for a long time and then she said: "You've got brown eyes. "

I sighed.

"Let's just go home, Taengoo." I took her hand, intertwined our fingers and went home.

~

"How does it taste?" Kim Mom asked as she held her bowl in her hand, looking at me.

I smiled. "Very delicious!" 

"Well, I think it doesn't really taste good." She said.

I looked at her confused. "What do you mean, mom?" 

Yes, I started to call her mom and she liked it.

I never heard of my parents since I moved to Taeng.

Sometimes Krys would call me. But that's it. Nothing more.

She pointed her index finger at Taengoo.

Taengoo barely touched her meal.

She was staring into space.

Deep in thoughts again.

Mom sighed. 

"Do you know what's wrong with her?" She asked me, hoping I would know the answer.

I wanted to tell her that Taeng loves me.

But what if it's a mistake?

I shook my head.

~

I lay in bed, on the headboard exactly, playing with Taengoo's Ipad.

"Taengoo, what are you reading?" 

She sat beside me, reading a book.

"Just a book."

"Tell me the story." I said.

She hesitated first and then told me: "It's about a boy loving a girl. But that girl loves another boy." 

I wanted to scream at her.

I wanted to punch her.

Telling her to stop depressing herself.

But I stayed calm.

"So what do you think will happen at the end?" I looked at her, trying to read her expression.

Her expression was sad, 

painfully sad.

"I think the boy that loves the girl will be heartbroken at the end."

"Why?"

"Because he know he can't make her his." 

I placed the Ipad on the table next to the bed.

"I think he can do it." I whispered.

She looked at me. Tears filled her eyes.

"Why do you think so?" 

"You know, love is really complicated. But if this boy try, he can have this girl."

"What if the boy failed?" 

"If he fails, he should try and try till this girl loves him."

She stayed quiet, averting her eyes on the mattress.

"What if.. What if he wants her to live happily with the other boy?" She stared into my eyes.

I looked at her. 

"Then he's an idiot."

She sighed.

"What if he try and try and can't get her?" 

I took her hand and intertwined our fingers. Her other hand was still holding the book.

"Then he should try again. You know, there's always hope. 

Always

."

She looked at our intertwined fingers.

"Are you really sure, Jessica?"

I nodded.

She smiled and let go of my hand to read.

I stared at her.

Did I give her hope?

I blinked several times.

Oh, no.

What if it's a mistake?

I sighed and lay down. 

I turned around and hugged Taengs legs.

My head resting on her stomach.

Then I felt her stroking my hair.

"Taengoo."

"Yes, Sica?"

"Do you love me?" 

She stopped stroking my hair.

"No."

I sat up, facing her as she just keeps on reading.

"Look at me."

She did what I've told her.

I leaned closer and captured her lips.

Our lips were pressed softly against each other.

Eyes closed.

Nobody wanted to pull away.

She dropped the book.

I nibbled on her lower lip.

"S-Sica, we can't do t-this." She whispered, trying to push me away.

"Why?" I softly asked.

"B-Because it's wrong." She pushed me lightly away.

"Shut up, you idiot and enjoy this moment." I grinned against her lips as her grip on my arms loosens.

Slowly, I wrapped my arms around her neck, pulling her closer.

Her hands snaked around my waist.

I sat on her laps, making her tensing up a little bit. 

But she relaxed after it.

We were both really concentrating on the kissing.

Her lips nibbled on mine.

My hands were tangled in her short hair. 

One hand played with her hair and the other supported her neck.

I smiled and brushed my tongue against her lips.

She opened her mouth and greeted me with her warm tongue.

I smiled.

She just showed her feelings towards me.

I'm happy.

Our breath became heavy. 

I pulled away.

I leaned my forehead on hers.

She opened her eyes and stared at me.

"You just showed me your feelings, you idiot." I whispered and smiled.

My hands were still playing with her hair.

She smiled. "I can't resist if a princess kiss me."

She was so cheesy.

I gave her a quick peck on her soft lips.

She grinned from ear to ear.

"Actually, I thought you love Yul."

At the mention of Yul my smile dropped.

Yul.

I love Yul.

Why did I kiss Taengoo then?

I quickly faked a smile and kissed her again.

She smiled.

Tongue danced with each other.

Feelings were showing each other.

No. My feelings were

 fake.

I furrowed my eyebrows as I realized it.

I'm such an idiot.

I'm such an f*cking liar.

I broke the kiss.

She pouted.

"Why did you broke the kiss?" She asked, pouting cutely.

"I just need to breath." I laid my head down on her shoulders.

She nodded, totally understanding me.

No, she didn't understand me at all.

She didn't know I was lying.

I took deep breath.

What was going on?

"Sica, are you ok?" I nodded.

"Taengoo, I'm tired." I mumbled in her neck.

"Do you want to sleep?" She rested her hands on my waist.

"Yeah, for a little bit." She was about to lay me down the bed but I said:

"Taengoo, I want to sleep in this position. Please?"

She stayed quiet and took the bed sheets, wrapped it around me and stayed like that.

I don't think she's reading because I could feel her hands resting on my back.

The tears began to come but I held them back.

I kissed her.

I gave her hope.

I gave her love.

I gave her that fake love.

I snuggled my head closer to her neck.

Sniffling in this sweet scent of her.

I'm so sorry Taengoo.

Chapter 16

To: Mushroom

Sh't Fany-ah T-T

From: Blonde Princess

She waited a few seconds, then her phone vibrated.

To: Icy Jessi

What did you do, Jessi?

From: Eyesmile queen

~

To: Mushroom

I kissed Taengoo :/

From: Blonde Princess

~

To: Icy Jessi

WTF did you do?! Are you outta your mind Jessi?

From Eyesmile queen

The door opened and Taengoo came in with a smile, holding two cups of Jasmin tea.

I quickly dropped the phone.

It dropped on the floor with a "Thuck" noise.

"Hey Taengoo." I smiled.

"Here's your tea princess."

She handed me the cup.

I thanked her.

I was about to take a sip but she stopped me.

"Wait! It's hot." She took the cup from my hand, put it on the table next to me and quickly pulled her hand away.

She put her cup down, her left hand gripped on her right hand fingers and she blowed.

Oh no.

Now I burned her.

"Aigoo." I quickly rushed to her, took her fingers and started to blow.

"I'm so sorry Taengoo." I said, without looking at her.

I didn't know she stared at me the whole time as I blowed her fingers.

Slowly, her left hand gripped onto mine, squezzing them lightly.

"It's ok. Don't worry." She smiled softly, staring at me lovingly and held my hands.

I regretted kissing her.

She was being so nice to me.

Too nice to me.

I nodded, giving her a faint smile.

My phone vibrated.

"Your phone is vibrating!"

I gulped, took the phone from the floor and saw the message from Fany.

To: Icy Jessi

Yah, why don't ya text back? ;__;

From: Eyesmile queen

"Who is it?" She asked as she sat on in her couch.

Actually, her room is very neatly and very big.

It has got a couch.

A television.

A desk to work with a computer.

"It's Fany."

"Ok, what did she write?"

"Uh, just asking me about the party." I answered.

"I see." She sipped on her tea and turned on her laptop.

To: Mushroom

Sorry, Taeng came in the room. Geez. I'm such a fool.

From: Blonde princess

~

To: Icy Jessi

Yes you are. How can you?! You're such a liar, Jessi T_T What if she finds out your fake feelings?

From: Eyesmile queen

~

To: Mushroom

Omg, That's why, I'm afraid.Fany, what should I do?

From: Blonde Princess

"Sica?"

I looked up from my phone to her.

"Yes?"

"Why did you kiss me, Sica?"

My phone vibrated.

I gulped, looked shortly at my phone and averted my eyes back to her.

"I wanted to express my feelings." 

She smiled.

"Thanks."

I looket at my phone again and saw the message.

To: Icy Jessi

I don't know, Jessi! I thought you still love Yul? And I thought you were sad about the breakup? 

From: Eyesmile queen

I made a grimace.

Flashback:

Autumn came.

The bright colorful flowers aren't there anymore.

The weather gets colder.

The wind was stronger.

Every person were dressed in a jacket that can hold them warm.

The day was perfect for a day at home.

But lovers decided to go out. 

We sat on a bench, cuddling with each other.

His right arm supported my neck and the left held my hands.

We were in a comfortable postion.

"It's getting colder right?" Yul asked.

"No, I don't think so." I smiled and gave Yul a peck.

"Aigoo, you're really icy." He chuckled.

"So what? I've got someone that can make me melt everytime." 

"So, who's that?" He playfully asked.

"It's the boy who just asked me." I smiled.

He leaned closer, lightly tilting his head and captured my lips.

His perfume crept into my nose.

It was the perfume I bought him.

I smiled against his lips

He chuckled and entered his tongue into my mouth.

I moaned quietly and he smiled.

He broke the kiss.

"You know, I love how you moan everytime we kiss and everytime we do it."

I blushed so I averted my gaze to the floor.

"So cute."

He held my chin and pressed our lips together again.

End of flashback

My phone vibrated, waking me up from my flashback.

To: Icy Jessi

Yah, were you thinking about Yul?! Why don't ya write anymore? T.T

From: Eyesmile queen

To: Mushroom

Sorry, Fany! Oh you know me so well  And if you asked me about the breakup... I think I used Taeng to forget Yul.. Aigoo, I'm such a pabo T_T

From: Blonde Princess

Flashback:

"We need to talk, Sica."

"About what?" I looked up, my hands were still playing with his hands.

He has his back turned to me.

His hands let go of my hands.

"I think we need a break."

"What do you mean, Yul?" I sat there, afraid of the meaning.

"Let's break up." 

End of flashback

To: Icy Jessi

You're really an idiot. You know what? You're such a player! How dare you use TaeTae?! She loves really loves you! And you were just faking your kiss and your feelings! You're so silly, Jessi! I can't believe it! What if she finds out?! I'm 100% sure, she will break down! If it get worse, she would kill herself. If a person is in a onesided lovestory then she would do anything for that person. I swear, don't make it worse, Jessi. If she kills herself, I will hate you. Dam' it, Jessi! I can't believe it!! You're such a pabo. Maybe the biggest pabo in the world! 

From: Eyesmile queen.

I gulped and looked at Taeyeon who was watching Great Escape by Girls Generation.

She smiled and clapped as Sooyeon went onto her knees , spread her legs, touching her legs and stood up to go on with the performance.

Aigoo, such a byuntae.

Her smile was so beautiful.

It would be really sad if she kill herself.

That would be really,

 really sad.

I bit my bottom lip as I stared at her.

She was so amazed by the performance that she didn't see me staring at her.

The performance ended and her hand quickly pressed the scene where Sooyeon spreaded her legs.

I rolled my eyes.

Her smile widened as she saw the scene once again.

It was like she watched a porno.

Totally amusing by how Sooyeon spreaded her legs.

"Yah, byuntae!" She jumped a little.

"O-oh, Sica. Were you here the entire t-time?"

Wait, did she actually looked porn or what?!

How can Sooyeon spreading her legs is porn?!

I laughed out loud.

I sprang off the bed and went to her.

My hands lightly massage her shoulders.

She tensed up.

I leaned closer to her ear and whispered in a seductive voice.

"Do you like this?"

I looked down and saw her gripping on the chair tightly.

I held my laughters and smiled widely.

I heard her whimper and she tilted her head in the other way.

I think my breath tickled her.

I chuckled.

"Do you like it if Sooyeon spread her legs?" I asked.

Being a SexSica isn't easy.

But it's funny to tease others.

She didn't say anything, nor nod or shook her head neither.

I pouted.

Then I tried again, but a little different this time.

I moaned loudly against her ear.

Sweats began to form on her foreheads.

She gulped.

Her eyes locked on the floor.

I smiled.

"Aigoo, I'm just joking Taengoo." 

I patted her head and sat on the bed.

She turned around, facing me.

"Don't...ever...do...that...again." 

I eyed her weirdly.

"What if I do it again?"

She sighed and turned around, turned off the computer and went out the room.

"YAH! COME BACK!" I shouted as I ran out the room.

I spotted her small figure in the kitchen and ran to her.

I back hugged her.

"I'm sorry. Please don't go."

I frowned.

Those were the words I said as I broke up with Yul.

"Hey, Sica. It's ok! I won't go. I just want a glass water." 

She turned around, a glass of water on her lips and she drank it.

I broke the hug and looked at her.

Suddenly I saw Yul before me.

I couldn't believe it and blinked a few times.

"You ok?" Taeyeon stood before me.

"Y-yes." I looked into her eyes.

I think, I went crazy.

I just saw Yul before me!

I went into her room again, sat on the bed and texted Fany.

To: Mushroom

Fany, I think I went crazy. I just saw Yul before me eyes and then I blinked a few times. Actually it was Taeng that stood in front me. Aigoo. I still love Yul 

From: Blonde Princess

To: Icy Jessi

Jessi, you ARE crazy. 

From: Eyesmile queen

I sighed.

Taeng came in, closed the door and laid down next to me.

She stared at me.

I stared back at her.

I'm all alone and I need you n- 

"yoboseyo?"

I eyed Taeyeon weirdly and then I widened my eyes.

"Uh, hi. Here's Yul."

Chapter 17

"Uh, hi. Here's Yul."

My heartbeat quickened.

Taeyeon mouthed the word 'who'.

I didn't response.

I quickly got up and went out the room.

"H-hey."

I bit my bottom lip.

It's a habit whenever I'm nervous.

"H-how are you, Jessica?"

My heart sank.

He doesn't call me 'Sicababy' anymore.

Not even a 'Sica'.

"Uh. Fine. You?" 

I gulped. 

I couldn't breathe.

I couldn't think straight.

"Fine. Hey, how about we catch up a little bit?"

My heart stopped.

I smiled.

"Sure."

I could feel how he smiled.

"Yeah! Right now? Let's meet at Starbucks?" 

"Ok." 

The inside of me jumped in 

joy.

"Cool. See you later, Sica."

He hangs up.

I raised both arms in the air.

"YEAH!" I shouted and smiled.

I went into Taengs room and saw her sitting on the bed, earplugs in the ear, watching Snsd Kissing You on her Ipad.

I went into the bathroom and dressed myself.

I was dressed in light blue jeans and a pink t-shirt.

I went out the bathroom and saw Taengoo looking at me.

"Where are you going?" She asked as she took her earplugs off.

"Just meeting up with an old friend." I smiled.

She nodded and turned to her Ipad again.

I grabbed my brown leather jacket and my grew scarf.

"See you later, Taengoo." I waved and went out the room.

I dressed into my light brown boots and went out the house.

The weather was cold.

It makes me shiver.

I walked quickly to Starbucks and couldn't hide my smile at all.

As I walked in the shop I spotted Yul sitting there, staring off space.

I tried hard not to smile.

I fixed my hair and walked to him.

"Hi." I waved and sat down.

He smiled, showing off his white teeth.

"Hey, Sica. Do you want to drink something?" 

I shrugged.

"Wait a moment." He said, stood up and went to the counter.

I stared at him, smiling like an idiot.

It feels so good to be with him.

He looked to me and smiled.

Then he talked to the shop assistant.

They both talked and Yul waited. 

The young assistant came back with 2 cups.

Yul smiled and thanked him.

He came back to me, sat before my eyes and gave me a cup.

He bought me a Latte Macchiato.

It's my favorite coffee.

So cute.

"It's your favorite right?" He asked and smiled.

I nodded and sipped my drink.

He got a nice classic coffee.

"So, anything new?" I asked.

He smiled. "Nope. Not really."

"What does 'not really' mean?" I eyed him weirdly.

He chuckled. "I just want to catch up with my ex." 

I blushed and sipped on my drink, hoping he wouldn't see my red face.

"So cute." I heard him whisper.

Aigoo.

That boy makes me go crazy.

Suddenly he took my hand and held it.

I looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"Let's have fun?" 

~

He laughed. "It was so fun! You were shouting so loud that everyone in the haunted house could hear you!"

I punched him on the arm lightly. 

"Aigoo, it was really scary! You know how much I hate those haunted houses."

I pouted and stopped walking.

"Aigoo." He turned to me and pinched my cheeks.

"Let's go to that ride there!" He pointed to a scary ride, intertwined our fingers and dragged me behind him.

He bought the tickets and went in with me.

Fingers intertwined the whole time.

He sat down then he patted the seats beside him.

"Sit down! This will be fun!" He locked his seatbelts and stared at me.

I sat there, locking my seatbelts.

A loud voice said: "Please put on your seatbelts. We will start in 30 seconds."

He grabbed my hands and intertwined our fingers.

He grinned.

"Don't worry; I'm always here for you." 

I smiled and the rollercoaster started to roll.

We were at the top and I already died because I was so afraid.

"Don't worry, 

Sicababy

." He said as he looked at the surrounding.

The rollercoaster rolled down.

I screamed at the top of my lungs.

~

"That was so funny." He laughed.

I was totally tired from all these games on the carnival.

"Aigoo, I'm so tired, Yul." I leaned on his shoulders and closed my eyes.

"Gee, you're always like that, Sica. Let's go eat, should we?"

I shrugged.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me onto my feet.

Actually, he pulled me in for a hug.

"A-Aigoo, You're balance is really bad." He chuckled.

My hands were on his muscular shoulders.

My eyes widened as I realize how close we were.

If he leaned in or I leaned in, our lips would touch.

I blushed.

"Let's go." He dragged to me the nearest restaurant.

It was a German restaurant.

A waiter in a suit came and led us to a 2 seats table.

"Is it ok?" He asked as we sat down, facing each other.

I nodded.

The atmosphere was romantic.

The lights were dimmed.

The table was covered with a white blanket.

In the middle of the table was a rose and candles.

The waiter came and gave us the menu cards.

"Hello, I'm Andreas. Welcome to Wielandshöhe. If you need me, just wave and I'll be there."

We thanked him and he went away.

"What do you want Sica?" He looked to me.

"I don't know. How about you order for me?"

He nodded and waved to the waiter.

He came and asked: "Yes?"

"The best wine and the best food."

Andreas smiled, thanked Yul and went into the kitchen.

"Aigoo, Yul. You're such a gentleman." I chuckled 

He smiled and stared at me.

I love it whenever he stares at me.

After talking and joking about 10 minutes the food came.

~

"How's the food?" Yul asked as he walked with me.

"It was really good! I love it! Thanks, Yul!" I said and smiled.

Our arms were linked.

We were walking under a wonderful bright night.

The moon shone brightly and the stars were really great.

He chuckled. 

"If you want to, there will be a next time" He smiled.

I chuckled.

"Thanks... Yul, what's the time?" 

He looked at his watch and said: "Oh, It's already 11 pm."

"Oh, no. I need to go home." I bit my bottom lip.

"Hey, do you want to stay at my apartment tonight?" He stopped walking and held me back.

"Sure, why not." 

~

"Wow, you changed all your furniture." I said, amazed how it changed.

"Oh yes. I thought it was the time for new things." He chuckled and took off his jacket and mine.

I sat on the sofa and made myself home. Just like the old times.

He came back with wine and 2 glasses.

He leaned on the wall.

"Want to drink?" 

I nodded and smiled.

He came to me, sat beside me and poured the red liquid into the glasses.

"So...“ He began and gave me a glass.

He swirled the red wine in the glass, gently playing with it.

"Anything new?" He asked.

"Uh... I don't think so." I said and chuckled.

He smiled.

"Sica, I thought about us." He said, looking at his glass.

His expression turned into a serious one.

I bit my bottom lip.

"Hey, don't do that." His thumb brushed over my lips.

Then he looked at me in the eyes.

"It's been already 1 year since we break up. And it feels so wrong, when I was alone. I needed someone. I needed you." 

My heart started to race.

He took my hand and intertwined our fingers.

"Sica, it was so wrong. The break up was so wrong! I'm such a fool for letting you go. I thought I needed space. But no. It's a mistake. I need you in my life. No, you are my life. I realize that I made a mistake. 1 Month after we broke up, I cried so many nights. I couldn't sleep. I was thinking about you. I couldn't get you out of my mind. You were everywhere. I was so sad that I printed out all our pictures together and hang them on the wall in my bedroom! I'm so sad, so sad without you, Sica. It's so hard to act normal in front of you. I would like to break down in front of you. But I don't want you to see me like that. Just... please come back...“ 

His eyes were covered with tears that were about to come.

I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Yul. Don't cry. Be strong." 

He hide his face in my neck.

"Yul, you know, I was like you too. The break up was so unexpected. It was too hard to handle. I broke down. I was like an emo for months! I even tried to kill myself. My parents were so shocked. But Krystal came in time and saved me from dying. Yul, it's a bit early. The only two who was there all the time was Fany and Krystal. They helped me to get up. They helped me to go through that pain. They suffered with me. I'm afraid. What if you leave me again? What if I go through the same? I don't want Krystal to suffer. I don't want to die. I have important persons in my life." 

I whispered. My hands played with his short hair.

"I promise you, I won't leave you." He said, voice shaking.

"Then let's start again. Let's start at the beginning. Let's forget everything around us." 

I whispered, eyes closed, savoring the moment.

He broke the hug and leaned closer.

"I love you"

 He whispered before his lips landed on mine.

Chapter 18

Taeyeons pov

"Sor-" 

I clicked the red button and sighed.

It was already 12am in the morning.

Where did she go?

I pressed my jacket closer to my body.

The weather was colder at night.

I don't know where Sica went.

But I need to search her.

What if she's in danger?

What if she lost her way?

What if, What if, What if~

Only a few people were on the street.

The most are people who look like gangster and there were homeless people.

Whenever I see gangster looking at me with a smile on their face, I'm afraid.

Not afraid that something could happen to me.

But afraid that something happened to Sica.

I sighed and opened my phone.

I pressed the numbers in my phone and held it on my ear.

"Sorry, t-"

My anger raised and I almost threw my phone.

But I can't do it. 

I shouldn't do this. 

What if she calls back?

What if she send me a message?!

I put my phone in my jeans pocket and rounded a corner.

Where could she be?

I stopped walking and leaned against the cold wall.

My hands were pressed on my face.

I sighed.

I shouldn't let her go.

I shouldn't be that easy to her.

It's my entire fault.

My body slide down the wall and my butt felt the cold, hard ground.

Knees buckled to my chest.

It's my entire fault.

My tears started to come.

My head rested on my knees.

"What have I done?" I whispered as tears slide down my face.

The lump in my throat formed and I coughed.

My hands wrapped around my knees.

I was cold.

I was tired.

The situation was worse.

The breeze hit my body and I shivered.

What should I do?

Where should I search?!

My sobs filled the now empty street.

"Sica, I'm so sorry." I whispered.

My head rested on my arms.

Slowly, I raised my head and took out my phone.

I looked at the screen.

Nothing.

No messages.

No calls.

I sighed.

I rested my head on my knees again.

I clutched hardly my phone, hoping for a call or just a little message.

My eyes closed.

Sitting there like a death person.

And before I knew it, dreamland called me.

~

Sica's Pov

He kissed me, slow and with passion.

His hand caressed my back.

I love his touch.

I smiled as my knees touched the soft mattress.

My hands were wrapped tightly against his neck.

Slowly I sat down and pulled him with me.

His hands were next to my legs.

He broke the kiss and looked at me.

The lights were dim. 

It was perfect for a love scene.

His eyes looked through my soul and he knew that I wanted it too.

I missed his touch.

I missed his wet kisses.

I missed how he gives me those pleasures.

Slowly, he leaned closer and kissed my neck.

I closed my eyes, feeling the pleasure go through me.

"Y-yul." I moaned.

I felt how he smiled against my skin.

He went lower.

My hands raised and took off his t-shirt.

Slowly, he crawled closer to me and goes on top.

My hands gripped tightly on his shoulders.

He unbuttoned my shirt and threw it across the room.

This will be a wonderful night.

~

Taeyeon's pov

"Hey, young lady. Hey." I heard someone say.

A hand shook me gently.

I raised my head and opened my eyes.

The sun just raised.

The sky was light yellow and light orange.

The breeze was fresh but it was cold too.

An old lady stood before me and looked at me with a worried expression.

"Are you ok, kid?" 

I wiped my tears stained face and nodded.

"T-thanks, ahjumma." I stood up.

She smiled and gave a me smoothie.

"Here, drink this. You will feel better." 

I looked at the smoothie. 

"B-But it's yours, ahjumma!" I shouted after her as she walked to her destination.

She just waved and went away.

I then remember my phone and looked at it.

No messages.

No calls.

I sighed.

I put my phone in my pocket and looked at the few people on the street.

They were old people probably on their way to the market.

I opened the smoothie and drank from it.

It was delicious.

The Ahjumma is really nice.

A little smile came upon my lips and I started to walk home.

~

I kicked my shoes off and kicked them to the side.

I was tired.

I coughed.

It was so cold.

I hurried to my room and opened the door, hoping to see a blonde girl.

But then it disappointed me.

No one was there.

Just an empty room.

I crawled to bed and shut my eyes.

And once again, I was pulled to dreamland.

~

A soft voice called me and I opened my eyes.

“Taeyeon-ah.”

“Y-yes, mom?” I sat up.

“Where is Jessica?” 

I sighed.

“I don’t know, mom.”

Confused could be seen in her eyes and she nodded.

“Ok. Just go back to sleep.” She patted my head and went out the room.

I lay down and turned to my right.

It was empty.

My hand surfed over the right side of the bed.

“Where are you, Sica?” 

I sat up and looked out the window.

It was already afternoon and she’s still not by my side.

I crawled out of bed and went out my room.

“Where are you going?” I heard my mom ask as I slide in my shoes.

“Just taking some fresh air or something like that.” I whispered after the word ‘air’.

She didn’t response, probably just nodded.

I went out the door and shut the door.

And again, I have no ideas where she could be.

I just let my feet taking me somewhere.

Cars and people passing by.

The weather was nice and warm.

Lovers were holding hands or kissing.

It looked like I’m the single person on earth that was alone.

I sighed.

Where could she been?!

I stopped walking and thought for a moment.

She said, she will meet an old friend.

And that’s it.

I face palmed myself.

Why didn’t I ask where she was going?!

I saw Starbucks and went in there.

I ordered a classic coffee.

“Anything more?” 

“No, thanks.” I smiled and waited for my coffee.

“Hey, Hara, did you see that blonde girl yesterday?”

My ears perked up.

They spoke while preparing my coffee.

The girl named Hara nodded to the good build guy.

“She looks so gorgeous! I mean, did you see her face?”

Hara snickered. 

“Geez, Taec, calm down! You’re raving about her since yesterday after she left Starbucks! And don’t think about being her boyfriend. Didn’t you saw that guy yesterday with her? It’s probably her boyfriend!” 

The guy with a good built body and handsome looks pouted and said.

“Yah, don’t say things you don’t know! I hope she will come often to us, so I can see her.”

Hara just shook her head, gave me my coffee and thanked me.

I went out the shop.

So it was a boy she went with.

Wait, what am I thinking?

What if it’s not Jessica? 

I walked down the street but Sica stuck into my head.

I made up my mind and walked back to Starbucks.

“Excuse me, but you two were talking about a blonde girl.”

The two looked up. 

Hara a little bit annoyed and Taec was smiling brightly.

“Do you know that girl?!” He asked right away.

Hara just went back to her work.

“I don’t know but if you could describe her, maybe then I do know her.”

His smile reached his eyes and he began.

“She has flawless skin, her hair is blonde and she has got locks. She wore a brown leather jacket, a grew scarf, a pink t-shirt and light blue jeans with boots.”

Geez, that guy checked her out.

“Hm… Ok?” I raised a brow, doing like I don’t really know this person.

I turned to Hara and asked her.

“Hara, right?” She turned to me and raised a brow.

“Can you describe the guy that sit next to that blonde girl?” 

“Uhm, I shouldn’t describe you because you could be a stalker or something like that..”

She said, unsure if she should tell me or not.

“I know that blonde girl.” I need to tell her, so she can give me more informations about that guy.

“Really? Can I have her number?” Taec asked, standing next to Hara.

I just faked a smile and listened to Hara carefully.

“Well, he has got short black hair, A V-neck purple t-shirt, a school uniform jacket and grew jeans. He looks really handsome.” 

She smiled.

“O…k? I think, I don’t know that guy.” I smiled, awkwardly.

“What were they doing?” I asked, hoping she would tell me.

“Well, they looked like lovers.”

My heart tightened.

“He bought her a Latte Macchiato and they talked. I couldn’t hear what they say but the girl looked really happy. She even blushed! Well, after drinking coffee, he held her hand and they went out the shop.” Hara said.

My smile dropped.

“Can I have her number now?” Taec asked. 

So irritating!

“No.” 

He furrowed his brows and asked: “Why?!”

“Because she’s my girlfriend.” I answered and walked out the shop.

Actually, she wasn’t my girlfriend at all.

It was just a kiss.

I walked home.

Arriving in front the door, I knocked because I forget my keys.

Mom opened the door and greeted me.

I smiled and took off my shoes.

“I will see you later.”

I said and walked in my room.

I shut the door and took off my jacket.

I sat on the bed and looked at the floor.

I recalled what they say.

“He bought her a Latte Macchiato.”

“She looked really happy.”

“She even blushed.”

“They held hand and went out the shop.”

So it was really just a kiss.

It was nothing special for her.

My eyes get glassy.

How could she fake the kiss?

How could she fake the love?

My hands were covering my face.

The salty tears rolled down my face and onto my hand.

My breath gets heavier and a lump formed in my throat.

I sobbed quietly.

How could she do that?

I wiped my tears away and stood up.

I shouldn’t cry.

She doesn’t deserve my love.

She doesn’t deserve anything from me.

I went into the bathroom and took a shower.

The hot liquid rolled down my body.

Soothing me from my pain.

Something went wrong.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the warmth.

I tried to push all those problems away.

But whatever I do or whenever I go, Sica’s stuck in my head like a melody.

I washed myself and after that, I went out the shower.

I dressed myself in jeans and in a blouse.

I went out the bathroom and opened my window.

I looked outside.

There were many people walking around.

I sighed.

What happened to me?

I’m such a love sick girl.

Life is so hard.

I covered my face with my face.

Life is so f*cking gross.

~End of chapter 18~

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SUPRISE!!! -> DOUBLE UPDATE 

Chapter 19

Sica’s Pov

I opened my eyes.

The sun shone through the curtains.

The room was half lighted by it.

My body was wrapped in a pair of arms, a pair of strong arms.

I smiled and turned around to meet a face that I will never forget.

I gave a peck on his lips and he opened his eyes and smiled.

“Good morning, love.” I smiled

I sat up and totally forget that our clothes lied on the floor.

I blushed and lay down again.

He chuckled. “Cute.”

He sniffed on my neck.

“I love your scent. I missed it so much.” He whispered.

I took his hand and intertwined our fingers.

“I’m happy that we’ve got weekends!” He said and yawned.

I nodded and looket at his fingers.

“I’m so tired. You dummy, you keep me awake all night.”

The heat raised and my cheeks got red.

“Y-yah, you enjoyed it!” I yanked his hand away.

He smiled and planted his lips on mine.

“You’re so cheesy, Yul.” I smiled against his soft lips.

“Well, you love the cheesy Yul.” He said after he broke the kiss.

I chuckled and lay my head on his shoulders.

Suddenly Yul chuckled loudly.

“What’s so funny?” I eyed him weirdly.

“Well, I thought about yesterday and you were really good.”

I blushed.

“You lost some weight. Last time I see you naked, you weren’t that thin.”

“Aigoo, just shut up.” I said and slapped his arm.

He chuckled.

“Be happy that I’ve got an own apartment. What if I still live at home with my parents? They will hear you. You were shouting so loud. I me- Ow! S-Stop it, Sica!” He shouted at me as he protected himself with his arms.

I poked him where it should hurts.

I chuckled and went out of bed.

“We will see us later!” I said and winked before I went into the bathroom.

I heard him shout: “Then we will do another round right?” 

Aigoo, that pervert. 

I chuckled.

I opened and closed the bathroom door.

And was about to have a shower.

But I saw my phone on the sink.

I grabbed my phone and opened it.

My eyes widened.

I’ve got 34 calls, 40 text messages and 14 into voice mail.

And they were all from Taengoo.

I totally forgot about her.

What did I do?!

I pressed the first voice mail my tears came.

From: Taengoo 8:23pm 01.10.11

Sica, are you ok? Are you on your way home? Please take care. See you.

I pressed the second voice mail.

From: Taengoo 8:50pm 01.10.11

Sica, where are you? Why don’t you come home? Please be safe.

And I clicked the others voice mail.

From: Taengoo 9:15pm 01.10.11

Where are you?! Sica! Why don’t you answer your phone?

From: Taengoo 9:23pm 01.10.11

Ok, now I will go and search you. No matter what, I will find you!

From: Taengoo 10:03pm 01.10.11

Sica, please answer your phone! I already search you for 1h! I need you, Sica.

From: Taengoo 10:26pm 01.10.11

S-Sica, please answer your phone.

My tears fell down.

Her voice was shaky.

She cried.

I pressed another voice mail.

From: Taengoo 11:42pm 01.10.11

Sica, please don’t play a prank on me. That’s not funny! Please come home.

This time, I could clear her sobs as she spoke.

I gulped. 

The lump was irritating.

I didn’t know she was waiting for me.

And then I pressed a number.

“Yoboseyo?”

“Mushroom”

“Jessi! Where are you?! Taeng called me and asked where you went!”

A pain poked on my heart. 

It hurts.

“F-fany, I’m with Yul now.”

“What the **** did you do again?” She asked, raising her voice, almost shouting.

“I… slept with him.”

“What.The.****.Did.You.Do?”

Beep – Beep – Beep – Bee-

I widened my eyes. 

She just hang up.

I sighed.

I deserve this.

Slowly I undressed myself.

I went into the shower and washed myself quickly.

After that I dressed myself and went out the bathroom with my phone in the hand.

Yul looked up and asked: “Where are you going, SicaBaby?” 

“Eh, Yul, Krystal called and asked me to come home.” I lied.

He walked to me and asked: “Should I take you home?”

“N-no it’s ok.” I rejected his offer.

He raised a brow.

“It’s ok! I really mean it.” I said and took his hand.

He nodded and gave me a passionate kiss.

I took my jacket and put on my shoes.

He hugged me and walked me to the door.

“See you.” He smiled and bid goodbye.

I turned around as he shut the door.

I began to walk down the street.

What if she’s still searching for me?

I opened my phone and dialed her number.

Sorry, the number of the phone you dialed is out of battery, plea-

I groaned in frustration.

I ran back to Taengoo’s house.

My legs would give up soon but I still run.

I need to get to her.

I already left alone.

She needs me.

My breath gets heavier and my throat went dry.

Sweat droplets formed on my neck.

After like 15 minutes running, I arrived in front of her house.

I rung the bell and Miss Kim opened the door.

“Jessica! Oh my god, I’m so happy, you’re safe! I thought something happened to you!”

She engulfed me in a tight hug.

I smiled.

“Sorry, Mom. I just went to meet an old friend.” I said.

“I will go to Taeyeon’s room now.”

She nodded and went back to prepare dinner.

I opened the door and thought Taengoo would welcome me with a hug.

But I received nothing.

I didn’t see her presence at all.

I knocked lightly on the bathroom.

No response.

I opened the door and it was empty.

I went out the room and walked to the kitchen.

“Mom, where is Taeyeon?”

“Oh, she said, she wanted to take fresh air. But somehow, she’s gone for 5 hours. I can’t call her cause she won’t pick up.”

I face palmed myself and said: “I will go out a little bit. Just call me if anything happens.”

She nodded and I went out the house.

She’s such an idiot.

I walked to the main street.

There were many people eating on the street food.

I walked on and saw a little kid sitting in a dark corner.

Legs buckled, her head rested on her knees, face covered from her knees.

Her black short hair was a mess.

Her hands were put together and they were hugging her knees.

She looks like a lost kid that gave up the hope for searching.

Tears formed on the corner of my eyes.

I held them back.

I walked to that fool.

I kneeled down next to her.

I hesitated first but then I called her.

“Hey.” I shook her gently.

Slowly she raised her head to me, eyes closed.

She has got dark bags under her eyes.

Slowly her eyes opened.

The pain and longing in her eyes vanished as our eyes made contact.

She threw herself in my arms, making me fall softly on the ground.

People gave us weird looks but Taengoo doesn’t care at all.

She clung onto me as if her life depends on it.

“S-Sica, I thought something happened to you.” She whispered, voice shaking.

And then the next thing was I felt something wet on my neck.

She was crying again.

Little droplets rolled down her face and onto my neck.

“Please don’t ever go away again.” 

My heart sank.

“Please don’t leave me.” 

Her arms were tightly wrapped around my waist.

It seems like she won’t let go. Never.

No.

It is like that.

The pain hit my heart and I sighed.

“Let’s go home, Taengoo.” I patted her head.

She nodded, let go, stood up and helped me up.

Without saying a word, she grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers.

She stood still, head lightly turning into my direction and eyes looking on the floor.

And with a sentence, she took me home.

“Don’t ever leave me again.”

~

“Yeah, she came back.”

“I don’t know… She didn’t say anything.”

“Ok, I’ll see you on Monday.”

I came into the room with a knock.

Taeyeon turned around and saw me.

“Uh.” We both suddenly said.

I smiled awkwardly and gave her a signal for her to continue.

She didn’t smile and asked: “Where did you go?”

I knew she would ask me that.

“I went out with a friend.”

She nodded.

“So, what's wrong?” I asked her.

She shrugged.

“Nothing.”

She was so quiet.

And I again hurt her.

I sat on the bed, next to her.

She stared out the window or she was staring out of space.

I sighed and crawled to her.

I sat up and wrapped my legs around her small waist, arms wrapped around her stomach and my head resting on her back.

She didn’t move nor said anything.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered, loud enough for her to hear.

She didn’t say anything.

Silence embraced both of us.

She took a deep breath and the next thing I know was, 

my heart stopped beating.

Chapter 20

“Let’s forget everything and be friends.”

It broke my heart.

My throat went dry and I couldn’t breathe.

My heart fell apart and the feeling was too much to bear.

“W-what?” I whispered.

“I’m sorry.”

My grip tightened.

I don’t want to let go.

“Why?” And before I knew it, my tears already rolled down my face.

She shrugged.

“Tell me.” I took deep breaths.

Somehow, I can’t breathe.

It was so hard.

“It hurts too much, Jessica.”

I sobbed.

She didn’t say Sica.

“What hurts you, Taengoo?”

I bit my lower lip.

No. She won’t leave me.

She can’t leave me.

“The love hurts me.”

I broke the hug and went out of bed.

I sat before her.

Her tears streamed down her face.

She bit her lip, trying hard not to sob.

Her hands were clenched tightly into fists, legs trembling from all the pain.

Her eyes avoided contact with mine.

“I can make you feel better! I promise!” I said, looking into those sad brown orbs.

She shook her head.

“You can’t.”

“Why?” My lips trembled from all the crying.

She took a deep breath, tensed up and said:

“Because

 you 

are hurting me.”

Pain went through my body.

It felt like Taeyeon just stabbed my heart several times.

“Taeng. Please tell me, it’s just a prank.” I begged.

My hands lay on her thighs, squeezing them lightly.

“Please, Taeyeon-ah” I lowered my head, crying my heart out.

“No. I can’t do this anymore, Jessica.” She said, voice slowly trailing off.

I came closer to her and wrapped my arms around her neck.

“Don’t do this. Please, don’t do this!” I hugged her tightly.

She shook her head.

“Please, let me go.”

“NO!” I buried my face into her neck.

“WAKE UP JESSICA, WAKE UP!” I shouted, not caring that Taeyeon’s eat was beside my lips.

I shut my eyes tightly and waited.

She sobbed.

“Jessica, please. Just let me go.” Her hands touched my shoulders.

“SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP.” I shouted again.

No, this wasn’t a dream.

It was reality.

She sighed.

She broke the hug with forces and stoop up.

I followed her quickly and hugged again.

“Don’t go. Please.” I whispered, lips lightly touching her ears.

She stood still, her arms hang lifelessly next to her.

She didn’t hug me.

"Please, Jessica... It hurts too much." She whispered.

Her voice shaking.

Cold droplets dripled down my shoulder.

"It will hurt more if you go away."

She sobbed.

"No. You're hurting me." She said, hands holding onto my shoulders tightly.

It hurts.

She pushed me away, letting me falling on her bed.

Her face dark and her tears ran down her cheeks.

Body shaking and hands balled into fists.

And without saying a word, she took her jacket and slided in her shoes.

"What are you doing?" I quickly ran to her.

But before I can't even reach her, she grabbed my hands.

"Let me go. Please." She begged me.

I looked in her eyes.

Her eyes were filling with tears.

Her tears rolled down her face.

She didn't hide the pain.

Her eyes were full of pain.

Full of Love pain.

She was sick of me.

She was sick of getting hurt.

She let go of my hands and went out the room.

I stood there, frozen.

Everything registered in my head and I let myself fall to the floor.

My figure dropped on the floor and pain rung through my body.

What did I do?

What went wrong?

What happened?

She's gone.

The girl that loves me the most.

The girl that went through all that pain.

The girl that would do anything for me.

She's gone.

My tears rolled down my face and onto the floor.

I gritted my teeth.

It's my entire fault.

My heart hurts.

I punched my chest.

I started to sob loudly.

Miss Kim came running in the room and saw me.

She run to me, kneeled down, took my hands and engulfed me in a warm hug.

"Shhh, everything will be ok." She whispered in my ear.

Her arms were wrapped around my back.

It hurts.

Even when she gives me a hug, it still hurts.

Nothing can make the pain go away.

Why did I even go through all of this?

I shouldn't come back to Korea.

This was a mistake.

It was already a mistake as I stepped into the California Airplane.

It was already a bigger mistake as I stepped out the Seoul

"Nothing will be all right, mom." I whispered.

She patted my back, trying to calm me down.

"It hurts. It hurts so much, Mom."

I cried harder.

We were embracing each other.

One was trying to calm the other one down.

And the other one, was crying her heart and soul out.

~

Taeyeon's POV

I ran down the street.

Tears rolled down my cheeks.

The pain is too much.

The scene replayed in my head.

“WAKE UP JESSICA, WAKE UP!”

I stopped running and tried to fight against this pain.

I don't even know my destination.

Without any money, it's really hard.

I took out my phone and dialed Sunny's number.

Sorry, but the person you dialed, turned off the pho-

I sighed in frustration.

There is nobody.

Or maybe...?

I dialed another number and waited.

A few seconds later a groggy voice spoke at the other line.

"Yobose...yo?"

"F-Fany."

"T-TaeTae?"

"C-Can I sleep in your house tonight please?" My voice broke.

I waited a few seconds and she answered: "Yes."

~

"Thanks, Fany-ah." I whispered as I lay with her in a bed.

"It's ok." She looked at me.

Worry could be seen in her eyes.

"What happened?" She asked and took my hand.

I averted my eyes to the mattress.

I bit my lower lip and my tears started to come.

"Hey, it's ok if you don't want to t-"

"Sica..." I whispered.

I looked at her.

Her eypression was blank.

What did she think?

Did it even suprised her?

She asked: "What happened?"

"N-Nothing. I just shout at her and then I ran out the house."

"Really?" She hugged me.

"Y-yes." I didn't want to reveal my secret to everyone so I just nodded.

She patted my back.

"Let's sleep. Today was a stressful day."

"F-Fany?" I asked.

"Yes?" She looked at me.

"Please don't tell Sica, that I'm here."

She hesitated first and then nodded.

I thanked her and closed my eyes.

My tears slide down my cheeks and onto her mattress.

And soon after I was embraced by Fany, I went to dreamland.

~

Jessica's Pov

After Miss Kim tucked me in the bed I lay there.

I stared up the ceilling.

What did I do?

I'm such a fool.

I sat up and ruffled my hair.

I sighed.

I grabbed my phone and saw 1 new message.

I opened it and my eyes widened.

To: Icy Jessi

Yah, you're such a pabo! Taeng is laying next to me! What happened?! You better text back!!

From: Eyesmile queen

I quickly pressed her number and put in on my ear.

Beep-Bee-

What the f+ck?

This girl just hang up?!

I send her a message.

To: Mushroom

Yah! Why did you hang up?!

From: Princess

To: Icy Jessi

Are you silly?! You could wake up TaeTae if I didn't pressed the red button! Don't worry, she's fine. She's really sad because of you. You better make up! I mean, she cried before she went to dreamland! And don't call her or come here because she needs time. And Jessi, I really mean it. Please stop lying to TaeTae.

From: Eyesmile queen

I sighed.

I want to see her.

I want to apologize.

I want to beg her to come home.

But I can't.

I'm too afraid.

I lay down and turned to Taeyeon's bed side.

I took her cushion and sniffled in her scent.

I missed her.

But what should I do?

I've got Yul.

I've got a boyfriend.

But there's Taengoo.

And I don't want to hurt her.

What should I do?

My tears dropped on the cushion.

I burried my face in the soft cushion.

I sighed.

I should sleep.

She will come home.

I'm sure.

I closed my eyes and let sleep take over me.

~

Next morning

Taeyeon's Pov

"Fany, I need to go home." I said, as I stepped out the bathroom.

She looked at me and nodded.

"Will you go to school today?" She asked.

"I don't think so." I said and lowered my head.

She stood up and gave me a hug.

"Be strong, Taeng. No matter what happens, I'll be there."

My tears came but I held them back.

"T-Thanks, Fany-ah."

I went out the house and started to walk home.

Will Sica still be at home?

Or did she already went to school?

I sighed.

The morning breeze hit me and it made me shiver.

I pulled my jacket tighter around me.

I don't know what will happen.

I just wish, nothing will happen.

I walked down the street.

And then I arrived at my house and was about to knock.

Mom opened the door.

She stood there, frozen with a trashbag.

She dropped the bag and hugged me tightly.

"Where did you go? Don't ever do that! I was worried to death!" She whispered in my ear.

I hugged her back and whispered: "I slept by the Hwang family. Don't worry, mom. I will never leave you."

She pulled back and said: "Taeyeon-ah, Jessica is still there. She said, she's waiting for you. I said she should go to school but she insisted."

I nodded and I felt tears in my eyes.

"Tae-ah, I found her lying on the floor yesterday."

My heart sting.

I gulped the lump that built in my throat.

"She was crying almost 1h till 2h after you left."

I looked down.

She took my hands and looked into my soul.

"Do something about it. You can do it. Be strong."

I nodded and thanked her.

I went to my room.

Beats of sweat began to form on my hands.

I gulped.

My left hand touched the door handle.

And the only thing that was between us, was the door.

And slowly, I opened the door.

~End of chapter 20~

DOUBLE UPDATE

Chapter 21

Slowly and carefully I opened the door.

It reveal a blonde girl.

She was sitting on my bed.

She was fully dressed and ready for school.

Her face burried in her hands.

Tear droplets rolled down her chin and onto the floor.

She sobbed quietly.

She probably didn't hear me.

My tears came.

My heart ached.

I tip-toed to her because I don't want to scare her.

I kneeled down before her and wrapped my arms around her small waist.

"Geez, now I feel your presence. I went crazy."

She whispered and shook her head.

She's such a fool.

I rested my head on her shoulder and heard how she cried.

It pained me.

It hurts to see her like that.

And it hit me.

I gave in.

I couldn't stay away from her.

Something always pulled me to her.

Even if I were miles away, I will always go back to her.

I can't turn my back to her and walk away.

I can't.

I leaned closer and kissed her hands.

She sobbed.

"Taengoo, I miss you so much. When will you come back?"

She whispered.

She still didn't believe my presence.

Slowly her hands left her face and they quezzed her legs tightly.

Her eyes still closed.

Her head shook from side to side.

"I hate myself. I'm such a pabo." SHe sighed and started to hit her legs.

I widened my eyes.

I grabbed her hands and stopped her.

Slowly she opened her eyes.

She widened her eyes.

I quickly leaned in and captured her lips.

She calmed down and wrapped her arms around my neck.

My tears ran down my cheeks.

I'm such a fool.

I can't help but fall for her.

Even when she loves someone other.

Even when she went home with hickeys on her neck.

Even when she fakes all her feelings.

I can't help but give in.

I can't get enough of her.

I can't supress my feelings.

Because I want her.

I need her.

I pulled away and stared at her.

She stared back and somehow I saw love in her eyes.

Longing, pain, needing and love.

She pulled in for a hug.

"Don't leave me ever again."

I stayed quiet.

I should say those words to her.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't go away."

Was she even telling the truth?

I gulped and looked down.

I didn't believe her anymore.

She lied.

I broke the hug and stared at her.

She leaned in and kissed me.

I didn't close my eyes.

I didn't enjoy it.

I didn't feel any love coming from her.

I pushed her away and dried my tears with the back of my hands.

I backed away and sat on the floor.

My eyes were locked on the floor.

"Sica, be honest with me."

From the corner of my eyes, I saw her nodding her head.

"Who was that old friend yesterday?" I asked.

I looked up and saw her biting on her lower lip.

"Tell me, Sic-"

"It was Yul."

I gritted my teeth.

My heart broke, again.

It's just a name.

How could that break my heart?

I took a deep breathe.

"W-what did you two do yesterday?"

I just need an answer.

I don't need anything.

And before I know it, my world started to spin.

Everything went black.

My soul leaves me.

My heart stopped.

And my tears started to fall.

"I s-slept with him."

I stood up and came slowly to her.

She stared at me and apologized.

How can something like that happen?

Is that even real?

I raised my right hand and slapped her hard across the face.

Her tears fell and her hand quickly held her left cheek.

I don't care about her.

I lowered my head.

Tears started to fall.

I cried because I felt quilty.

I cried because she slept with my buddie.

No, he wasn't my buddie anymore.

He was my enemy.

I couldn't hold my anger anymore.

She stared at me, scared of what I would do next.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! TELL ME WHY!!" I shouted at her.

She cried and stared at me.

"WHY DID YOU LIE?!"

"TELL ME WHY!"

Pain filed her face.

And before I knew it, I was pushed away.

I fell to the floor and it hurts.

I saw my mom holding Sica in her arms.

"What are you doing, Taeyeon?!" Mom shouted.

"M-Mom, it's nothing. Don't worry, I will clear this with Taeng." Sica spoke up.

Mom looked at her and then averted her eyes to me.

She glared at me and went out the room.

I looked back at her and guilt took over.

I sighed and fell backwards.

My body hit the floor and I made a grimace of the pain.

I don't want to hear anything anymore.

I don't want to see anything anymore.

I closed my eyes and lay there.

I heard soft footsteps and a hand took my hand.

"Taengoo."

I didn't response.

She shook me lightly.

"I'm sorry, Taengoo."

I gritted my teeth.

I hate it everytime she apologize.

She lay down beside me.

She rested her head on my shoulders.

"I'm so sorry, Taengoo."

I felt something wet against my chest.

"Please say something." Her voice broke.

I stayed quiet.

I opened my eyes and turned to my left.

Sica sat there, tears running down her cheeks and she sobbed.

What did I do?

I hurt her.

I wrapped my arm around her waist and whispered: "I'm sorry, Sica."

I sighed, leaned closer and kissed her softly.

I hate how I always give in.

She pressed her body against mine and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I'm so sorry, Taengoo." She whispered.

I broke the kiss and stood up.

She sat up and gripped onto my leg.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna take a shower." I answered, took my clothes and went into the bathroom.

I undressed myself and went into the shower.

I sighed.

I'm such an idiot.

I know that she doesn't love me.

And I still give in.

I looked at my right hand.

I slapped her.

I sighed.

I hurt her.

"I'm so sorry, Sica."

I washed myself and went out the shower.

I looked myself in the mirror after I dresed myself.

I glared at me.

I raised my hands and was about to punch the mirror.

But then I lowered my head.

I shouldn't punch it.

If I punch it, I need to buy a new mirror.

And that's really expensive.

I groaned.

I raised my right hand and punched the wall next to me.

I gritted my teeth.

I pretend the wall was Yul.

I punched it several times.

It hurts.

But somehow I can forget the pain Sica gave me.

Blood dripled down my hand.

I sighed.

"WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING?" I shouted to myself.

I shook my head and went out the bathroom.

Sica sat on the bed and looked at me with a worried expression.

She stood up and went to me.

She took my hand and stared at it.

She let go of my hand, went to a small closet, took out a bandage and went to me again.

She led me to the bed and sat down.

She patted the bed beside her and I sat down.

She took my bloody hand and wrapped the bandage around it.

She wrapped it around my hand carefully and slowly.

"You are such a pabo." She whispered.

Then a tear drop dropped on my bandage and I looked at her.

Her hands shook lightly and she has her head lowered.

I wrapped my free hand around her.

I pressed her closer to me and patted her back.

She sobbed.

Her hands were still holding onto my injured hand.

"Hey, don't cry." I whispered in her ear.

Slowly her sobs quiet down and she pulled away.

I smiled softly and stared at her.

I raised both my hands and wiped her tears away with my thumbs.

"Don't worry." I spoke up.

"I will love you."

"Forever." I smiled softly as my tears welled up.

I quickly hug her, so that she couldn't see my tears.

I said it.

I will love her, forever.

Even if it hurts, I will still love her.

"I love you, Jessica." I whispered.

C

hapter 22

After 7 years

“Taeyeon, let’s go shopping please?” Jennie grabbed onto my shoulders and shook me.

I pushed her away and said: “Yah, let me read PPATMT”

Silence embraced us.

I looked at her and saw her pouting.

“What’s so good about this story anyway?” She asked in German.

“It’s cool.” I said, eyes clued on the screen.

She scoffed.

“Are you kidding me? Shopping is better! I mean, we’re in Stuttgart University! And everything we do is studying! The only free time we’ve got is the weekend! Do you think I can live every day studying?”

I chuckled.

I stood up and put my Ipad down the table.

I smiled and took her hand.

“Where do you want to go?”

She smiled.

“That’s the silliest question I’ve ever heard!” She chuckled and took my hand.

“Stuttgart, we’re coming!” She shouted and intertwined out fingers.

~

“Oh my god, look at this dress.” She pointed her index finger at a beautiful blue dress.

She let go of my hand and ran to the dress.

I followed her and chuckled.

“You’re such a shopping-holic”

She ignored me and took it.

“Let me change into this beautiful dress!” She said, grabbed my hand and into the change room.

She went in a room, letting me waiting outside.

I leaned against the wall and looked at the floor.

Flashback:

6 months after YulSic get back together.

I packed my clothes into my bag.

“Taeyeon-ah, are you sure about this?”

“Yes, mom.” I packed everything, that’s important for me.”

“But Taeyeon-ah, you can study in Japan or somewhere near Korea.”

I looked at her.

She sat on my bed, eyes following my figure.

“But mom, Germany is really cool! I mean, they’re got sausages, which I really like and then there’s so much I want to know about Germ-“

“It’s because Jessica, right?”

I stopped packing and looked at her.

I stood straight up and looked at the floor.

“That’s the real reason right?”

I didn’t response.

“I never saw you eating sausages and I never heard you talking about Germany.”

She sighed.

“Aigoo, you’re such a love fool. Well, just do what you think is the best for you.”

She rolled her eyes and leaned down my bed.

“Mom, thanks. I love you.” I walked to her and gave her a hug.

She smiled and I went back to pack.

End of flashback

Jennie came out in a beautiful blue dress.

My mouth hangs open.

I blinked a few times.

She smiled.

“Am I that sexy, Taeng?” She chuckled.

I smiled and stared at her.

“That looks so amazing on you.”

She turned around and showed me her back.

“It’s good right?” She asked.

I nodded.

“Then let’s take it! It’s just 30 euro.” She smiled and went into the room.

I smiled.

Flashback

“Well, just call me if anything happens!” I said to dad and hugged him.

“I can’t believe that my princess is a lady now.” He sniffed.

I chuckled and pulled away.

“Aigoo dad, that’s the first time I see you crying.” I chuckled and received a playful slap on my arm.

I went to the next person, mom and hugged her.

“Please take care.” She said as tears rolled down her face.

I patted her back.

“Please don’t tell anyone. Let them notice it by themselves.”

She nodded.

A loud voice said: “Flight 26 to Germany will fly in 15 minutes.”

I looked at them.

“It’s time to go, dad, mom.”

We hugged in a group hug and I received kissed on my cheeks.

My tears rolled down and I quickly dried them with the back of my hand.

I waved and went into the flight with my heavy bag.

I settled my bag down and sat on my seat.

I looked out my window.

“Goodbye Friends. Goodbye Family. Goodbye Korea. Goodbye Jessica Jung.”

I whispered and closed my eyes.

I was ready for Germany.

End of flashback

Jennie came out with the dress.

She was fully dressed in her clothes.

She took my hand and we walked to the cash register.

She paid and we went out the shop.

“You know, H&M always has got good clothes.” She said and smiled.

I smiled.

“Let’s go to NaNuNaNa?” She asked as we stopped walking.

“Why?” I looked at her, confusion written all over my face.

“Let’s buy couple things!” She said, eye smiling.

I smiled and we went into the shop.

We went through the shop and the first thing that caught my eyes was couple rings.

“Let’s buy couple rings!” I said.

She smiled and asked: “Where? I don’t see any here!”

I dragged her to the rings and looked at them.

“Let’s buy this!” She took a ring with “J” on it and a “T”.

“We’re JT!” She smiled and looked at me.

I nodded and we bought them.

We went out the shop.

“Let’s grab a cold drink in Starbucks?” She smiled and dragged me behind her without waiting for a response.

Sometimes, she’s really rude.

But I do like her.

I chuckled.

We seated us and waited for the waiter to come.

She ordered a cold chocolate drink for her and I ordered the same.

She took the rings out and put it on my finger.

She did the same with her finger.

I chuckled.

“That looks really cool, right Taeng?” She smiled.

I nodded and smiled.

Soon after the waited came and gave us our drinks.

“It’s such a sunny day! Are you already tired, Taengoo?”

Sunny…

Taengooo…

I looked at her, speechless.

“Taengoo, are you ok?”

She waved a hand in front of me.

“Y-yes! Sorry, I was just remembering things in the past.”

She lowered her head.

“I’m sorry, Taeng. I didn’t want you to remember them.”

I smiled and gave her hand a squeeze.

“Don’t worry.” I chuckled.

She nodded and smiled.

“Well, Taeng. Can you please teach me Korean? I mean, we just speak in German and I want to learn Korean too! I want to understand what you’re talking to your mom whenever she calls you.”

I chuckled.

“Sure! But let’s do it at home!”

“Uh… Let’s go shopping ok? I want to go into all shops!” She smiled.

I sighed.

“Ok.”

~

“Such a tiring day.”

I laughed out loud.

“Yes! I will never go shopping with you again!”

“Why?” She used aegyo.

“Are you crazy? After wasting 6 hours in the City I just bought an T-shirt which has “Made from Korea” on it!”

“Your fault! Why don’t you buy clothes like me? I don’t know how much I bought but I’m sure we’ve got over 4 shopping bags full of clothes.”

I sighed.

“That’s why I will never go with you shopping again.”

She stuck her tongue out.

“You just say that. I know that you love me too much to resist any wish from me.” She chuckled.

I raised my brow and started to think.

“Well, you’re right.” I chuckled.

“Let’s just sleep.” She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around me.

“Yah, go away! I need space!” I shouted.

“Shut up pabo.” She chuckled and tightened her grip.

I sighed and closed my eyes.

~

Jessica’s Pov

The sun shone through my curtains.

I opened my eyes.

This will be another tiring day.

I yawned.

I went into the bathroom and took a shower.

After that I dressed myself and went to my work.

~

“Hi Jessi!” Fany shouted as she saw me.

I smiled.

Well, she’s the one that can make my life brighter.

Everything has gone wrong from the day where Taengoo left.

Chapter 23

Jessica's Pov

Flashback

4 months before Taeyeon disappeared.

"Thanks for letting me staying here, mom." I said and flashed her a smile.

She smiled back and stroke my hair.

"You are always welcome, sweetheart."

I got teary eyes as she embraced me, letting me feel how a mother would hug the daughter.

Yul came downstairs with the bag full of my clothes hanging around his shoulders.

Taeyeon followed behind him.

My boyfriend gives me his happiest smile ever.

But Taeyeon just smiled sadly, the saddest smile I ever seen.

I'm so sorry, Taengoo.

"Thank you mrs. Kim for letting her staying with you." Yul said.

She nodded and give him a smile.

Taeyeon stood next to mom.

She looked at the floor and was quiet all the time.

I sighed.

I went to her and hugged her with my arms around neck.

She just buried her face into my neck.

"Please take care, Taengoo." I whispered as I stroke her hair.

She just tighten her grip.

I heard her sobs and my tears came.

Every farewell is hard.

But I decided my way and she should support me, even if I know that she loves me too.

"Taeng, it's ok. Let her go." Mom said and tried to pried Taeyeon from me.

Taeyeon slowly loosen her grip and broke the hug.

She quickly dried her tears with the back of her hand.

Yul came to her and hug her.

"Don't worry, buddy. She'll be save in my hands. I'm going to protect her from head to toe. Understand it?" He chuckled as he patted her head.

She just nodded sadly.

I couldn't hold my tears and let them flow down.

"You can still visit us. I mean, we're not going overseas right? Sica just moved to me." He said and gave her a smile.

Yul was right.

She could visit us.

"I will load the bags in my car. We'll see us then. Bye." Yul said as he went out first.

"Aigoo, don't cry kids. It's just a normal goodbye." Mom said and patted my head.

She chuckled.

"Goodbye then." I said and waved.

They followed me to the door and watched how I stepped in Yul's car.

I rolled down the window and looked at them.

Taeyeon just stood there with a lowered head.

It pains me.

I know that I'm selfish.

But should I still be by her side even though I love Yul?

Yul started the engine and the car slowly went away.

I looked back at them and saw how Taeyeon break down.

She hugged her mom tightly and cried.

I sighed as my tears slowly made their way down my cheeks.

End of flashback.

I leaned back and sipped on my coffee.

"So how's life, Jessi?" Fany asked as she sat down, facing me.

I didn't respond and looked at her with a boring expression.

"Yah, don't be like that." She said and pouted.

I chuckled and yawned.

"Sometimes I really hate my job." I said and closed my eyes.

"Are you kidding me? We're working togehter and we get to see many countries for 30 minutes every day!" She raised her voice.

"You're so loud in the morning, Fany." I sighed.

Silence.

"I can't believe what you went through." She said almost whispered.

I shot my eyes open and eyed her weirdly.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well. After you moved to Yul, you were living happily with him. You totally forgot about her and after TaeTae left, you wasn't that happy Girlfriend from Yul anymore. You were so sad that you broke up with him just because TaeTae left."

I didn't respond.

I reminisce the past as I listened to the sound the coffee maschine make.

"Do you have feelings for her?" Fany asked.

I shrugged.

I actually know, that I've got a thing for her.

But it was too late to realize.

After what seems like 2 months Taeyeon disapperead, I broke up with Yul.

I would be lying if I say that I got bored with the relationship between us.

Taeyeon was the reason.

"Taeyeon. Hmm. She's been a very nice person to you. She loved you more than you could imagine. But too bad, she left. I miss her. Jess-"

"Please let's not talk about this?" I said as I stared at her.

"I'm sorry."

She looked at her watch and widened her eyes.

"Oh my god! We're going to fly soon! Hurry up, Jessi!" She said as she packed her things into her bag.

I quickly followed her actions and hurried to my station.

We bid goodbye as everyone went their own way.

~

"Unnie, you better watch the clock next time. They almost forgot you if I didn't tell them you were missing!" Seohyun said as she shook me.

"Sorry, Fany was blabbering too much and I forgot the time." I said and smiled as we sat down.

She shook her head and sighed.

"You made me worried, unnie."

I chuckled and pinched her cheeks.

"You're so cute!" I smiled as she pouted.

"Omo, where did you learn this pout?" I asked and looked at her.

She shrugged and we went to do our job.

~

Jennie's Pov

I woke up as my roomate hugged me tighter.

I pushed her arm away and sat up, ruffling my hair.

I looked at the clock beside my bed and saw that it was 3 am in the morning.

I lied down and faced Taeyeon.

I poke her cheeks.

No movements.

I chuckled silently at her expression.

I touched her cheeks softly and went lower to her lips.

She looks really pretty.

And I'm happy that we're roommates

Suddenly she opened her eyes, giving me a shock.

I pulled my hands away and hide myself under the bedsheet.

For a moment I thought she went back to sleep but then she crawled under the bedsheets.

"What were you doing, Jen?" She asked in a groggy voice.

"N-Nothing."

"Don't lie."

I gulped.

What should I tell her? 

What if I tell her the truth that I touched her lips?! 

And what if she thinks I want to kiss her? OMFG

"I-I just wanted to have a drink." I blushed madly and went out of bed.

I hurried to the kitchen and poured myself a glass water.

I sighed.

Pabo

I placed the glass into the sink and went back to Taeyeon.

I softly sat on the bed, watching Taeyeon sleep.

I didn't want to sleep so I took her Ipad and went into Soshified.

I saw the news and a smile formed on my face.

I quickly opened Itunes and downloaded Shake.

I played it till I was tired.

I placed her Ipad on the desk next to the bed and laid down.

I stared at Taeyeon.

Slowly I closed my eyes, hug Taeyeon and went to dreamland.

Chapter 24

Taeyeon's Pov

“Good morning, my sweety” Jennie’s voice rang in the morning.

I opened my eyes, irritated that she used aegyo.

“Yah! Are you silly? Don’t use aegyo early in the morning!” I shouted.

She leaned down and blows in my ear.

“Yah, stop that, I don’t like that.” I said and waved my hand in the air.

I didn’t hear anything and I couldn’t see anything because I’m tired and have my eyes closed.

Then the next thing I hear almost gave me a heart attack.

“Go back to Korea and search her.”

~

Jennie’s pov

I stared at Taeyeon as she slept.

She’s hurt.

I know that.

We’ve been living as roommates for 4 years now and I never saw real happiness in her smiles.

She told me about her family.

She told me about her friends.

And she told me about her first love.

I was born in Germany and I would see Korean dramas.

But I thought those really sad dramas would happen in movies.

But I was wrong.

It can be in real life too.

It can be even worse.

Taeyeon is my best friend and I can’t see her like that.

At first, I thought she missed her family.

But then her family always calls her.

They would even chat with video cam.

But whenever Taeyeon see her family, she smiles.

But her smile wasn’t full of happiness.

And since that day I realize that she actually still loves Jessica Jung.

Taeyeon is dumb.

Jessica was wrong.

I couldn’t help but search for her on google.

I entered her name.

Many things came but one thing actually caught my eyes.

She lives in Seoul.

She’s 24 years old.

She has got blond hair with locks, just like Taeyeon would describe her.

She’s pretty, an angel alike said Taeyeon.

She works at Korean Air.

And that was it.

There weren’t much information about her.

But I’m sure, that it is Jessica Jung.

~

“Go back to Korea and search her.” I snuggled closer to her.

She didn’t response.

I felt how she took a deep breath.

“Why should I?” Her question was cold.

I attacked her sensitive spot.

“Because you still love her.”

She sat up and ruffled her hair.

“Let’s go outside and eat. I don’t want to cook today.”

She changed the topic.

I scoffed.

“Do you really think, you can change the topic so easily?”

I crossed my arms and stared at her back.

She lowered her back.

“Please stop it, Jen. I don’t want to talk about this.”

I groaned in frustration.

“Don’t tell me something like that.”

She stood up and I grabbed her wrist.

“She’s coming here every Wednesday.”

She froze.

“W-What?” She asked.

“I searched information about her.”

She turned around and stared at me.

“That’s rude, Jen.”

I stuck my tongue out.

“Well, is it still rude if I just want to make a friend happy again?”

I averted my eyes to the bed.

“But I’m happy.”

“Liar.”

She didn’t response.

I looked up and saw a pained face.

She gritted her teeth.

I stood up and hugged her.

“I’m sorry.”

She calmed down and nodded.

“Please find your true happiness Taeng.”

She nodded.

“If you want to, I will go with you.”

She nodded.

“And I swear, if you run away, I will be very angry.” I used aegyo to lighten up the mood.

She chuckled.

“Thanks, Jen.”

~

Taeyeon’s pov

“How do I look?”

“Geez, you look good! Are we ready to go now?” She asked, annoyed.

I chuckled and took my jacket.

I took my car key and grabbed her hand.

“Let’s go.” I smiled and went in the car.

She sat on the passenger seat and we put our seatbelts on.

I started the engine and we went to the airport.

We entered the big hall and looked at the big screen.

London 4:30pm

Hongkong 4:35pm

Northkorea 4:40pm

SouthKorea 5:00pm

Bingo!

I looked at Jennie and saw her sighing.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“You make me come 1 hour earlier than ever!”

I chuckled.

“So what?”

She rolled her eyes and went to the nearest seat.

I went to her and sat down next to her.

“You make me paint all those Jessica posters!! Geez” She said, annoyed.

I chuckled.

“Hey, better be early than late?” I said and receive a light slap on my head.

“You’re right!” She said and smiled.

Jessica’s pov

“Jessi, you look really sexy!” My friend answered.

I chuckled and patted her head.

“You too, Seohuyn!” I said.

I sat down and Seohuyn followed my actions.

“These seats are really comfortable, don’t you think, unnie?” She asked.

I nodded and closed my eyes.

“The plane will land in 20 minutes.” A voice echoed through the airplane.

The pilot said it once again, just in German.

I sighed and whispered: “Taengoo, where are you?”

“Did you say something, unnie?” Seohyun asked me.

I totally forgot her presence!

I turned to her and shook my head.

I closed my eyes once again and leaned back.

Flashback

“OH MY GOD!” Sunny shouted and ran into the classroom.

I looked at her, confusion filled my mind.

“What’s going on, Sunshine?” I asked as I approach her.

Tears filled her eyes and she quickly hugged me.

I patted her back and tried to calm her down.

The students gave us weird stares but I don’t care.

Yul approach us and saw me.

He raised a brow.

I knew his meaning.

I pointed at Sunny.

He nodded and came to Sunny and patted her back.

“Everything will be fine, Sunny.”

She pulled away and glared at Yul.

“Nothing is fine!” She shouted.

I get scared as I saw her outburst.

He raised his hand to pat her I think but then she slapped his hands away.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” She slapped Yul.

Everything froze.

The time stopped.

“What’s going on here?” Fany came and looked at us.

Sunny went to her knees and burst into tears.

I looked at Yul and he held his cheek.

I hugged him and said: “Everything will be fine, Yul.”

“What’s wrong Sunshine?” Fany asked as she went to her knees and patted Sunny’s back.

She calmed down a little bit but her hands were balled into fists.

“T-Taeyeon…” She started to whisper.

My attention averted to her as the name left her lips.

I sat down and held her shoulders.

“What’s wrong Sunny?!” I asked as I looked at her.

What was going on?

Why did she cry?

“Tell me!” I raised my voice and Fany held my arm.

She shook her head and I let go of Sunny.

Sunny looked up and took a deep breath.

She locked her eyes with mine and I could see how sad she was.

“Taeyeon… she’s gone.” She whispered.

I looked at her.

Did I hear the right words?

My lips started to tremble and my eyes get watery.

I gulped and then I looked to Fany.

Her tears ran down her cheeks and her mouth hangs open.

I looked to Yul and saw him balling his fists while looking at the floor.

My tears started to fall and I stood up.

I lower my head and started to sob.

I ran outside the classroom and heard voices that yelled at me.

“Where are you going, Jessi?”

“Sicababy!!”

“Jessica!!”

I didn’t care about them at all and ran as fast as I can.

I ran down the street and suddenly something wet dropped down my head.

I looked up and the rain poured down.

I didn’t care and started to run again.

My tears mixed themselves with the rain.

I cried.

I’m such a fool.

I arrived in front of Taeyeon’s house and rung the bell.

Miss Kim opened the door and saw me.

Before I can say anything, she pulled me in her house and went to grab a towel.

I sat on the sofa and looked around, searching for another person.

I was about to stood up and I felt a towel wrapping around my body.

I looked behind me and saw Miss Kim looking at me.

“Mom, where’s Taeng?”

She sat down beside me and sighed.

“Mom, tell me!”

She took my hand and looked at me.

I started to cry again after knowing that it was hard for her to say it.

“Be strong, Jessica!” She said and hugged me.

“She’s gone right?” I whispered as I cried like a little kid.

Miss Kim nodded and I cried harder.

End of Flashback

I sighed and massage my head.

“Having a headache, unnie?” Seohyun asked concerned.

I nodded and she gave me a pill.

“Eat this and you will feel better!” She handed me a glass of water.

“Thanks.”

“Please put your seatbelts on. We’ll land in any seconds.”

I did it and looked at Seohyun.

She looked outside the window and smiled.

She turned her head to me and said: “Welcome to Germany.”

Chapter 25

Taeyeon’s pov

“I’m afraid.” I whispered as I let myself lean against Jennie.

“Why?” She whispered as I felt her head on my shoulders.

“I didn’t see her for 7 years!” I said and wrapped my arm around her neck to give her a more comfortable position.

She sighed.

“Taeng, you need to be strong!” She said and stood up, letting me falling hard down the bench.

“Yah! Are you kidding me?! How could you just stand up?” I said angrily.

She smiled sweetly and was about to go away until a loud voice echoed through the airport hall.

“Korea Air lands in any seconds.” I looked at Jennie and see her smiling brightly.

“That’s your chance!” She said and raised both her arms in the air.

“Don’t cause a scene, Jennie.” I said and chuckled.

I stood up, walked to her, took her hand and we walked around, hoping to find a certain blonde.

~

Jessica's pov

“I’m so excited! I never was in Germany! Let’s go and grab something to eat?” Seohuyn blabbered with excitement.

I chuckled and patted her head.

“Sure! I want to know more about Germany!” I said and grabbed her hand.

“You two can have a break! But please come back after 1 hour!” The pilot said.

We bid goodbye to the pilot and went outside.

“Wow, Stuttgart Airport is really big.” The taller girl beside me said.

“Yes! Let’s go around!” I said, grabbed her hand and dragged her into the airport.

We went into the airport and the hall was really big!

We looked up and there were tree like rods

I chuckled.

“The architect is really cool!” Seohyun said.

Her kid inside of her woke up.

I looked to my right and spotted Starbucks.

“Let’s grab a drink!” I dragged her to the shop and opened the door.

I stepped in and waited for my turn.

~

Taeyeon’s pov

“Well, try again!” I chuckled at her accent.

“Sa… Sarangho?” She said.

I laughed out loud.

“Oh gee, it was… fail!” I laughed and held my stomach.

She pouted.

“Yah, don’t make fun about my accent!” She said.

“It’s saranghae.” I said and smiled.

“Geez, whatever midget!” She said and ran away.

I furrowed my brows after hearing that name.

I quickly stood up and chased her.

We were being like little kids.

I chuckled and slowed down.

She stopped as she saw me stopping.

She came back and asked: “Are you ok?”

I slapped her arm and pouted.

“I hate you.” I said and walked away.

She hugged my back and stopped me from walking away.

“I’m sorry!” She said.

I nodded and then she took my hand.

“Let’s search Jessica Unnie.”

I let her drag me around the airport.

I looked everywhere.

I stopped and pulled her to me.

“Yah, do I look good?” I asked.

She chuckled.

“Are you kidding me? You asked me that question many times already.” She mocked.

“Yah, just tell me!” I said and shook her.

Suddenly her eyes broke the contact and she widened her eyes.

“What’s wrong?” I panicked.

“Is there something ugly on my face?!” I kept asking her.

Slowly she raised her right arm.

Her body started to shake.

Her index finger pointed at something behind me.

I raised a brow and turned around.

There were people walking around.

Stewardesses were walking around.

They looked really tall.

The most outstanding stewardess was a blonde.

So what?

I turned around to face Jennie.

“Are you kidding me?” I asked.

“Have you never seen stewardesses?” I poked her cheek.

“You probably saw love at first sight, right?” I joked and turned around.

I wrapped my arm around her neck and tapped my finger on my chin.

“Let me guess…” I said.

I took a better look at the stewardesses.

I raised my hand and stretched my index finger out.

“Is it that girl there?” I teased her.

“Or is it that blonde…” My arms fell back towards my side and hung loosely next to my body.

It felt like time froze.

My mouth hangs open and I blinked several times before coming back to reality.

Is it really that girl?

Is it really my girl?

“Taeng, it’s her.” The person next to me spoke up.

The blonde girl has her fingers intertwined with another girl.

Who was that beside her?

Was it her lover?

My heart sank as I thought about it.

Then I felt a squeeze on my hand.

“Let’s go to her.” Jennie whispered.

I shook my head.

“N-no.” I whispered.

She turned around and looked at me.

“What’s wrong?!”

“I’m n-not ready yet.”

She packed me on my collar and scooted closer till our foreheads touched.

“That’s the only chance we’ve got, Taeyeon” She whispered.

I broke our eyes contact and looked at the blonde’s back.

I gulped.

“OK.” She smiled, took my hand and we walked slowly to the blonde.

My heartbeat increased and my hands started to sweat.

She entered Starbucks with the girl beside her.

I lowered my head as I reminisce the time as I asked the shop assistant about Jessica.

We stopped in front of the shop and I looked up to see Jen looking at me.

She gave me a warm smile, opened the door and walked in

I pulled my hood up my head and followed Jennie to a table.

I sat down, facing her.

I looked around to find the blonde girl but I saw nothing.

Could she be gone?

“Everything will be ok. I’m going to get your favorite coffee and then I’ll be back.”

She said and left me alone.

“Unnie, here’s your favorite coffee.” A girly, young voice spoke up behind me in fluent Korean.

My ears perked up as a voice that’s too familiar spoke: “Thanks, Seohyun.”

I pulled my hood down to hear them better.

I gritted my teeth as I felt my tears coming.

“Still thinking about her?” I heard the young voice said.

Her?

Who is that 

“her?”

No response

Jennie came back and gave me the coffee.

I smiled and nodded.

Jennie sat down and scooted closer to me.

“She’s behind you.”

I let out a soft smile and looked at my coffee, hearing the two girls behind me chatting.

“Don’t be like that.” The girl named Seohyun said.

“It still hurts.”

I felt goosebums and my tears came.

“Just forget her.”

“I can’t”

I felt Jennie holding onto my hand, squeezing them softly.

“She left without saying a goodbye.”

I felt my heart tighten.

So they are talking about me

“So w-what? She may come back.”

I sighed and fiddled with my fingers.

“No. It’s been 7 years. Did she come back?” Seohyun raised her voice.

I blinked rapidly as my tears were about to make their way down my cheeks.

No response.

“After she left, you were a chaos. You didn’t eat and drink! You was so sad that you wanted to kill yourself.”

I let go of Jennie’s hands and balled them into fists.

“Seo, it’s all in the past.” She whispered, her voice was shaking.

“Taeyeon is in the past too.”

My tears fell and I quickly hide my face into my hands.

I sobbed quietly as I can’t hold it anymore.

I felt hands wrapping around me and a chin resting on my right shoulder.

I thought I will be happy if I see her but no.

I was wrong.

“Is that girl crying?” Seohyun asked.

It hurts.

It hurts like hell.

My heart can’t take it anymore.

I wiped my tears away and calmed down.

I looked up and saw a hand holding a handkerchief.

I smiled softly as I stared at the hand.

It was 

her 

hand.

I took the handkerchief and my hand brushed against her hand.

For a moment, I felt that warmth again.

“T-Thanks.” I whispered.

“You’re welcome. Cheer up!” She said in English.

I smiled as I realized how much I missed her voice.

Jennie stood up and led me out the shop.

I didn’t look back.

And I regret that I didn’t look back.

She sighed.

We stood in the big hall of the airport.

She hugged me.

“It hurts right?”

I nodded as she patted my back.

“Let’s go home then. We’ll try another time.”

She broke the hug and held my hand.

We were walking to the exit as I felt someone tapping me on my shoulder.

I stopped walking as I felt the warmth once again.

“Please wait a moment.” She said softly.

And I know it was destiny.

Chapter 26

Jessica’s pov

Flashback:

"Let's go out today!" He said happily.

I shook my head.

"What's wrong, babe?" He asked me worriedly.

I gulped and broke our eye contact.

"Let's break up."

His jaw dropped and I could see shock in his face.

"Why?" He whispered, tears were almost falling out from his eyes.

"I-I don't love you anymore."

Guilt washed over me as his tears escaped his beautiful brown eyes.

He took my hand and begged me.

"Forgive me for the wrong doings! I'm so sorry, babe. Please love me again!" He shouted.

No.

I can't.

I won't because I know that someone other has stole my heart the entire time.

And I didn't realize it until the person is gone.

He hugged me.

"Please, Sica. I can't live without you."

I sighed.

I pushed him away.

"I don't want you, Yul. I'm sorry." I said and stood up.

"No. You're playing a prank on me! Come on! Don't act like that." He whispered as he looked at me, hoping it was really just a prank.

I shook my head and took my things that I already packed yesterday.

Funny that he didn't realize there was big bag in the corridor of his flat.

He embraced my back and tighten his grip.

"Please don't go." He whispered.

I felt my tears come as I heard these words.

For a moment, I was lost and didn't know if I should take a step or just stay by his side.

But I cleared my mind and pushed him away

I walked out the door and slammed it shut.

I sat down on the bus bench and waited for the bus that take me to Fany.

I don't need to call her.

She knows me too well.

I hopped on the bus and sat down.

I leaned against the window and stared outside.

A new year had began.

It's still cold outside.

I closed my eyes and let my mind wander.

End of flashback

~

Taeyeon's pov

I felt her fingertips on my shoulder.

I felt her warmth.

I heard a chuckle beside me.

"Turn around. Destiny is waiting for you." Jennie said and winked.

I smiled softly as my tears made their way down my cheeks.

I touched the hand on my shoulder and hold it.

I felt how much I missed her touch.

"Excuse me?"

I chuckle lightly as more tears escaped my eyes.

My hands left her hand for a moment.

I took a deep breath and wipped my tears away.

I looked up and calmed down.

She shouldn't see my tears stained face.

I turned around and the first thing that I saw was her eyes.

The eyes I missed so much.

Everything froze.

Time stopped.

She stood there, dumpfounded.

I smiled as I stared into her sparkling eyes.

Then she ran to me and hugged me.

I engulfed her in a hug as I heard her sob.

I smiled as the strawberry scent filled my nose.

She started to hit me.

"Why did you leave, Taengoo?"

The nickname I missed so much left her lips.

I chuckled lightly as she tightens her grip.

"I hate you." She broke the hug and hit me.

I smiled and hugged her again.

"I miss you so much." She whispered.

"Unnie! We will fly soo-" Seohyun shouted but stopped as she saw me.

Sica let go of me and looked at Seohuyn.

"Oh my god! Taeyeon Unnie!!" She ran to me and gave me a hug.

So it was the nerd I once didn't like.

She turned into a beautiful woman.

I smiled as I embraced her.

She broke the hug and smiled widely.

"I thought we will never see you again!" The maknae said.

I just smiled and averted my eyes to Sica.

Her tears were still flowing her face.

I smiled and hug her again.

"Why did you leave me?" She whispered.

"Because you made it too hard for me to live."

I needed to tell her the truth.

I want her to know how much pain I felt.

I want her to know how much I love her.

She sobbed.

"I'm so sorry."

"You don't need to apologize. I already forgive you for everything." I whispered.

She took my hands and cupped face.

"I missed your warmth." She whispered as she held my hands.

Suddenly she pulled away, looking at the ring on my finger.

"A-Are you married?"

I smiled and looked at her.

"No, don't worry. That's just our friendship rings." Jennie said for me.

She smiled as she showed Sica her ring.

"Oh, no." Seohyun suddenly spoke up.

I looked to her and asked: "What's wrong, Seo?"

She sighed and said: "We missed our flight."

I looked back at Sica and saw a shocked face.

"What to do now?" I asked.

"Well, we could tell them and we will fly back next week." Seo said.

"Ok. Let's do that." Jessica said and grabbed Seo's hand and walked away.

"Where will you stay?" Jennie spoke.

Sica shrugged.

I looked at Jen for a moment and she gave me a wink.

"We will stay at the ho-" Seo spoke but was stopped mid-sentence.

"Both of you can stay in the guest room at our apartment." I said and walked to Jessica.

Her face light up and she hugged me once again.

"Thanks!"

"Ok. I'll go and tell them." Seo said and turned around.

"I want to go with you! I wanna know more about being a stewardess." Jennie said and walked away with Seohyun, leaving me and Jessica alone.

I turned back to Jessica that still hang on me like a Koala.

I chuckled as I stared into her lovely eyes.

"It's been so long, Taengoo." She whispered and leaned closer till our foreheads touched.

I turned light pink and felt my heart skipping a beat.

She chuckled and I felt her breath hitting me.

"I'm sorry, Taengoo." She whispered and her tears came.

I smiled and nodded.

"It's ok, Sica."

She buried her face into my neck and gave me the butterflies I felt years ago again.

"S-So how i-is it going with Yul?" I face palmed myself because of my stuttering.

She sighed.

"I broke up with him." She whispered in my ear.

"W-why?"

I felt happy that she isn't in a relationship anymore but I was sad at the same time because I she may be heartbroken.

"Because I realized that I love someone else."

I let out a sigh and stared up while stroking her hair.

"Who is it?" I whispered and felt that I was heartbroken, again.

"Wait. Do you still love me?" She asked.

I gulped and stared at her as she pushed away from the hug.

I pouted and said: "Hey, you didn't answer my question yet."

"I'm in love with an idiot."

"Who is that idiot?" I asked confused.

"Hey, you didn't answer my question yet." She smiled brightly.

I pulled her in for a hug and nodded.

She pushed me away and stared at me.

She had this sad eyes again.

This means she will say something bad.

I sighed and looked at my feet.

Then suddenly she grabbed me on my neck and pulled me in for a kiss.

As our lips touched, I thought it was a dream.

But then she stroke my hair, I know that this was real.

Was it destiny?

Sometimes I wonder why our paths decided to collide.

I smiled and snaked my arms around her waist.

"I love you." She whispered as she broke shortly, taking a breath.

Before I can even respond, she pulled in again.

She kissed me with passion and love.

That was all I missed.

I missed her love.

We moved our lips in the same rhythm.

It was perfect - the moment was perfect.

Her lips was soft just like how I would imagine it.

Her tongue traced over my lips and I opened my mouth a lil' bit.

"Just take a room." Jennie said as she came back with Seohyun.

We both pulled away, blushin madly and avoiding eye contacts.

Jennie chuckled and apologized for breaking the moment.

"Let's go home!" Jennie said and started walking with Seo beside her.

I smiled, grabbed Sica's hand and intertwined our fingers.

"Let's go home, Sica."

~

"Popcorn?" Jennie asked as Seohyun goes through our DVDs.

"Yes, please." I shouted and smiled.

We - Me and Jessica were laying on the couch cuddling with each other while Seohyun choose a movie for us to watch and Jen was making popcorn.

I stroked Sica's hair as her head laid on my chest.

"What did you do in the past 7 years?" I asked.

"Waiting for you to come back." She whispered.

I felt my cheeks go warm and my heart skip.

She chuckled.

"Your heart skipped a beat."

I blushed and groan.

"What's wrong?"

"I-I-"

"Let's watch 'If in love like them'" Seohyun said and showed us the DVD.

Jennie came back with a big bowl full of popcorn and sat on the floor next to the couch.

"But it's sad. Do you really want to watch a sad movie?" She asked while munching the popcorn.

She nodded.

"Actually no. But I love Lee Hyo Ri!" Seohyun exclaimed.

I chuckled and raised my hand.

"Me too!"

And we started to watch the movie.

~

"Oh my god, I can't believe it." I snickered at them and gave them some tissues.

"Just shut up. You're too manly to cry." Jennie spat back.

Seohyun and Sica nodded.

I chuckled and sat down next to Sica.

I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and she leaned on me.

I turned to my left and kissed her head.

I smiled.

I felt so happy.

It's a dream right?

I closed my eyes and let my head lean against her.

I feel complete.

~

"I will sleep in the guest room with Seohyun if that's ok?" Jennie asked Seo.

She nodded.

"Beside that, you can help me with biology..." Jennie went on as they disapperead in the guest room.

I looked to my love and see her smiling brightly.

She hopped to me and hugged me.

"I'm so happy that I can sleep with you again after all these years."

I chuckled.

I broke the hug and opened the wardrobe.

"Take this." I took out an extreme short pant with a large t-shirt and gave it to her after I closed the wardrobe.

She chuckled and looked at the clothes I gave to her.

"You like to see my legs, don't you?" She smirked.

I blushed and shrugged while avoiding eye contact.

I heard her laugh then I heard the bathroom door close.

I smiled as I stared at the bathroom door.

Shortly after smiling like an idiot, I heard the shower.

She's taking a shower.

I smirked as I thought about pervert things.

"Yah! Are you thinking about her body?" Jennie asked.

I turned to her and was shocked.

She was sitting beside me.

"When d-did you come here?" 

She chuckled. "Just as you have this perverted smile on your face."

I blushed.

"You're sooooo cute!" She pinched my cheeks.

I swatted her hands away and pouted.

She smiled and lied down.

"Taeng, could you promise me something?"

I looked at her, asking her what she wanted.

"Don't do it on our bed, please."

I looked at her shocked.

"What?! No, we're not going to do it at all!" I raised my voice a lil' bit.

She chuckled.

"I can see the fire in your eyes, Tae."

I glared at her.

"You can do it everywhere but not on our bed."

"You perverted midget!" I shouted at her and slapped her.

"Don't call me that! Just because you're 2 cm taller than me, that doesn't mean I'm smaller!"

The bathroom door unlocked.

"Sh!t, she's coming. Just please don't do it on our bed, understand?" She whispered and gave me a headlock, a strong one and then she disapperead into the guest room.

Jessica stepped out in fresh clothes.

I sighed and rubbed my head.

"What's wrong?" She sat herself on my lap, taking me by suprises.

The wet of her hair dripped down her neck, making her more sexy.

"N-Nothing." I gulped.

She wrapped her hands around my neck and pulled me into a slow, passionate, lovely kiss.

As seconds passed by, it gets hotter and I felt myself losing the control over my body.

We were in a tongue battle as she slowly pushed me down the bed.

I felt myself getting gosebums as she was on top.

I slide my hands down her body.

I smiled as I get to touch her again.

She broke the kiss and stared at me.

I saw the fire in her eyes.

The lust she's been holding so long.

She lowered to my neck and sucked it, hard.

I gritted my teeth not to moan.

"S-Sica." I whispered.

She responsed with a cute "Hmm?"

"P-please... s-stop." I tried hard to speak.

She bite me hard and stopped.

She looked at me and pouted.

"But I missed you so much." She said.

I sighed, sat up and supported my body with my arms.

"I'm sorry, it's just that's my and Jennie's bed and I don't want to make it dirty for Jennie."

She leaned closer and gave me a peck on the lips.

"I understand it, baby." She said and winked.

I smiled and hugged her.

"What are we going to do now?" She asked.

"I don't know."

She sighed.

"I want to do something with you." She whispered.

"Let's go out for a walk."

~

After changing into warm clothes, we went out for a walk.

Our hands were intertwined and the warmth spread all over my body.

I smiled as we walk through the empty street.

There was a comfortable silence.

No words were needed for our love.

Only holding hands means more than anything.

"It's cold, Taengoo." She whispered.

I stopped and turned to her.

Her eyes sparkled in the night and it makes me fall for her more.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her in for a kiss.

She smiled against our kiss and let her lips move on their own.

I broke the kiss and stared into her eyes.

"I love you."

I leaned in.

And before I captured her kiss, I heard her say: 

"I love you too."

The end