On Christmas Eve, my Canadian family's tradition is to attend the midnight mass, then return home to a large meal before opening their gifts. My mother's younger sister, Clarisse, arrives for the festivities. Like my mother, she's experiencing difficulties with her marriage. I'm not sure whether she's divorced, or separated from their husband, but I don't want to spend much time with her to find out since she's so negative. My aunt Clarisse speaks English for my benefit. "I knew you shouldn't have married the American, Claire. Their culture is so violent. At least my husband didn't beat his children."

"Yes, but your husband is a bum. He's never worked a day since he lost his teaching job at the University." Clarisse is standing near the Christmas tree in her fur coat, drinking. Suddenly, I see her dump her glass of vodka into the tree stand.

My Aunt Louise yells at her, incensed about the wasted alcohol. "Qu'est-ce que tu fais? What are you doing? C'est du bon liquor! That's good alcohol!"

"L'arbre doit boire aussi." This roughly translates into, "The tree has to drink too!" Although my mother and her siblings are in their early forties and fifties, they start squabbling together like unsupervised children, bickering over their husband's shortcomings. My French family is usually full of good natured laughter and joking. Today, it feels like everything's gone off the rails. Still fighting, the three sisters decide go to separate churches for the midnight mass. How foolish was I to wish for a new life here in Canada. I realize that day will never come. This family is only slightly less dysfunctional than mine.

After a few days, Ryan decides to return to the US. He's planning to stay with our grandparents. "I catch him up with him across the street from my aunt's florist shop as he fills his car the gas. "Ryan, be careful with Dad. Stay away from him." The white snow swirls around us in eddies.

"I know, Mom warned me about him." He pulls out his wallet. "This is is the reason I'm going home, Evie." He pulls out the picture of a beautiful dark haired, Latina girl. I'm flabbergasted. He has a girlfriend.

"Oh, she's very pretty."

"Yeah, she's beautiful. Her name's Andrea. You'll like her. She's really smart, and she's nice. Her dad owns a construction business." After Ryan pulls out of the driveway, I watch his car leaving tracks on the snowy road. I think of the frozen hedge maze from my dream, how Ryan ran ahead of me. I feel conflicted and lost. I'm happy for him, but I have a nagging sense of dread about his returning home.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks after Christmas, I spend some time with Yvonne, my mother's Aunt. She's my great-aunt. To my surprise, I discover she has a degree and speaks fluent English. When I sit down next to her, I feel grounded in a strong safe connection with her. She may be an outcast on our French side of the family, but I sense her confidence and wisdom. "Can you tell me about the Native American side of our family?"

Aunt Yvonne's eyes shine with pleasure. "Of course I can, little one." She stands up and quietly closes her bedroom door, then returns to sit down in front of me. "You are descended from Cree on your mother's side. A small thrill of excitement races up my spine.

I glance up at the elaborate dreamcatcher she has hanging over her bed. "Aunt Yvonne. Can I show you a picture?"

'Mais, oui! Yes, child what is it?"

I pull out the the polaroid picture taken on Christmas Eve. The one with the dark halo around Ryan's head."

"Can you tell me what are those shadows above my brother's head? Everyone keeps telling me these dark spots are caused by overexposure. They tell me not to worry about them. Could it be something else?"

Yvonne looks at the picture with interest. An instant later, the smile leaves and her face. It becomes grave. Without speaking, she stands up and retrieves a leather satchel from beside her bed. She pulls out a sage bundle and a wooden rattle. She shakes the rattle a few times as if to frighten something away. "Bad spirits." She says, burning the sage. She opens her bedroom window to let the smoke drift outside.

"Listen carefully to me, Evie. "She picks up the photograph. This is a bad spirit. Has it shown up anywhere else?"

My chest tightens, as I nod. "These same shadows were in pictures of my father and his brother. What are they?"

She looks at me sharply. "There's more than one? This is bad. There are dangerous spirits, stalking your family. Especially your brother."