Trigger Warning: mentions of blood and gore, sexual assault, and graphic violence

*

Note: I feel like this chapter is a good inclusion since I've never truly gone into depth about Marshall's transformation and super early days as a vampire. In the actual Twilight series, we're given a glance at how Rosalie dealt with the people who caused her death; but I never actually talked about how Marshall himself took matters into his own hands. I'd like to further expand on both of those topics now.

I'm not really planning on going into depth about the assault scene per se, but it will be mentioned in passing. I'm putting that out there just in case.

Also: In the original Twilight series, I believe Edward and Bella start dating, she's brought to meet the family, and she's attacked by James all within the same month (March). I wanted to spread that out a bit, though, because I wanted Paul and Marshall's relationship to be further established by the time "Not My Fight" happens.

So, in my eyes, Marshall and Paul would've gotten romantically involved February 12. By the time the faceoff happens with James, they would've been together a little over a month.

Timeline wise, this chapter would've happened roughly a few weeks after Marshall opened up to Paul about his human life—in between "Who I Used to Be" and "A Terribly Bloody Birthday". Since I imagine this scene playing out in late-ish May, they would've been together romantically for about four months at this point.

I'm prefacing this now because the length of time they've actually been boyfriends is a somewhat integral part as to why Paul reacts the way he does. Hope it's not confusing!

***

"Is something the matter, Tiger? You seem like you've got something on your mind."

Paul clenched his jaw while continuing to run his fingers across smaller hands. He nuzzled further into a strong thigh currently being used as a pillow. One of his legs was bent at the knee with the other dangling over the edge of a shared porch swing. His position of lying on his back made it easy to gaze into a pair of curious golden eyes staring down at him.

With his train of thought focused on a certain topic, he couldn't help but ponder about what their original color was.

Had they been brown, blue, or green? Were they a captivating, more rare hue like azure or emerald? Were they heterochromic? Did they shine and bring the world to a complete standstill whenever crossing paths with warm rays of sunlight?

Paul could only wonder.

"It's not that something's wrong, it's just..." His internal search for appropriate wording was shown via brown eyes slowly moving in different directions. "I wanted to ask you a question, but I'm not sure if it'd be considered rude since we haven't been dating that long."

"Surely whatever you want to ask can't be that bad, can it?"

"I just don't want to risk making you uncomfortable by prying too much."

Marshall chuckled, shaking his head. "Sweetheart, there isn't anything about me that I would need to hide from you. If you're curious, it's okay to ask. I know there are things about me I haven't really explained which paint me as some sort of enigma to a certain extent. I've already told you my biggest, most painful secret. Can't really imagine what would make me as uncomfortable as talking about that."

Paul allowed for his fingers to wrap around the arm resting against his chest. His thumb drew random shapes into soft skin.

"I...want to know more about you. About your early life."

"But I've already told you about that, honey."

"I mean your early life...after the fact."

For a moment, Marshall tilted his head in genuine confusion. It didn't take much thought, however, for him to realize where exactly their conversation was going.

"You're curious about my transition from human to vampire?"

"Is that weird?"

He shook his head again. "Not at all. Just didn't expect it. What do you want to know?"

"I've always been a little curious since I first found out about vampires. That curiosity kind of grew, though, after we started messing around, and we started talking about our quirks and traits in regard to our species."

Marshall nodded his head in silent understanding. Soft eyes and a gentle, intrigued expression proved he actually was okay with talking about his past.

"I guess I want to learn a little more about what the actual transition is like. I've never really been able to paint an accurate picture in my head. And I'm sure popular media's got the wrong idea since you don't explode into bats and shit like that."

"Well, you're certainly right in that assumption." A small smile fell a bit at the edges. " I really don't mind talking about this, Tiger. But you should know...there are things I'm going to say that are...a lot. I'm not going to paint you a pretty picture. If anything, it'll be rather gruesome."

"Whether the truth is pretty or ugly, I'd like to know more about you, Honey Bun. About how you lived, and how the person you are now came to be."

Marshall gave a quiet hum. He allowed himself to further relax by leaning into the padded backing of the porch swing. His head fell to the side, a sharp jawline making contact with the bare skin of his shoulder. The position made ribbed fabric from a black A-shirt brush against his neck.

"It's...not a pleasant experience. Going from human to vampire- that's a type of pain I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy." Golden eyes became less focused as Marshall couldn't help but picture himself in that position. "The best way to describe it is agonizing. You're forced to endure fire and acid running through your veins at a pace even slower than a snail's. You're forced to witness what it's like for all of your insides to crystalize as they change their biological components. To become something entirely foreign. It's a horrible, inescapable pain that makes you want to rip your skin open to try and get away.

"As far as I've seen, the wolf transformation is painful for you and the guys because your bodies have to literally change shape. But that feeling of bones shifting and all that only lasts a few seconds at most. Changing into a vampire...it takes days.

"I've said it before that my heart stopped twice while I was going through my transformation. It happened very early on- before the venom had a chance to actually make it there to start pumping through my system. After my second resuscitation, Carlisle ended up biting me several more times to try and speed up the venom and make my body heal at a more rapid pace. Thankfully, it did. In a little over a day and a half, every single scrape, ache, and tear- every single broken bone, frayed muscle, and ripped blood vessel was fixed. But because that happened, because my body was fixing itself, I woke up a few times during the process. And honestly, if there was anything in my life that I'd want to forget as much as my assault, it'd be slipping into consciousness before I was a full vampire."

Paul's lips parted in genuine shock. "It was that bad?"

Marshall nodded, not bothering to try and sugarcoat the hard truth. "It's like a cancer. The venom takes over one tiny cell, doing what it needs before transferring to other cells. And suddenly, in no time at all, every other one has no choice but to follow along. It starts out as a burning, hardening pain that makes it feel like your entire body is locking up. The venom creeps around your insides, grabbing and molding everything in its path to become like itself. It's honestly awful. But the transformation is something which can be avoided."

"I figured- seeing as people drained by crazy leeches don't turn into them too. But how does that happen?"

"Remember me stressing the importance of the venom reaching my heart? Time has to be taken into consideration," Marshall explained. "As you know, Bella was bitten by James when she was separated from the rest of the family during their big ordeal. She didn't change, though, because Edward sucked the venom out before it reached her heart. He got there in time for the venom to not spread through her circulatory system. If he hadn't shown up when he did, well, we'd be having a different conversation."

"It really must've been a race against the clock for you since you were so injured."

"It was. And while I'll always be grateful to Carlisle for actually being able to save me, I wish I could just erase the entire ordeal from my mind. While it's not a hard thing to talk about, sometimes I find myself reminiscing about the tiny bits and pieces I'm capable of remembering. It still makes me shiver every now and again."

Paul could understand that, even though he'd never gone through such a horrible level of agony.

His first shift was pretty bad in terms of pain. His entire skeletal and muscular structure had to change in order for him to don a new body. But, like Marshall assumed, it was a type of discomfort which didn't last long. And each subsequent change afterward became less and less intense since Paul's normal body became accustomed with time.

Still, he didn't want to even attempt to imagine going through his initial phasing for days on end.

Going from human to vampire must've been extremely difficult for Marshall because, in a sense, he was forced to walk around with a new body too. One which couldn't bleed. One which couldn't feel cold or wasn't capable of sweating. One which was tweaked to the extent of completely changing what he desired to consume.

Marshall used to be a baker, meaning he probably loved sweets when he was still human.

Paul wondered if his boyfriend ever missed that after becoming a blood drinker with no desire to eat human food.

He wet his lips in anticipation when another question popped into his head. "Have you ever... you know, tasted?"

"No, actually. I've used my enhancements as a vampire to kill people, but I've never actually had human blood before. Considering how I died, I didn't think it was fair for me to end innocent lives for my own benefit. I don't even like killing animals to feed, but that's why I make it quick for them. I never wanted to be the reason someone's family was left heartbroken or torn apart just because I was thirsty."

"Really?" Paul asked, both eyebrows raised. "But what about-"

"My assaulters? I didn't want to ever have another trace of them, no matter how small, inside of me ever again. So I killed them without even biting anyone. It was all brute strength and a whole bunch of fucking anger that made everything happen. With what they put me and Rose through, the bastards got off too easily and too quickly. But the human body can only handle so much before shutting down. In the end, they were dead. And that's what mattered the most."

"...I'm kind of curious to know what you did now."

Marshall's lips quirked upward, a rather sick sense of glee rising from deep within. "It was glorious. I let Rose deal with Royce since he was the one who betrayed her the most. The others, though, well, they kept me quite busy one night after I caught them leaving a local bar together.

"I cornered them at the edge of a forest. They thought I was a wild animal, so they ran inside to try and get me off their trail. Once they were far away enough from town, I showed myself. The look on their faces when they saw it was me was downright priceless. They were quick to realize I was a threat when one of them tried to rush at me, and I punched him hard enough to rupture an organ. They pleaded with me to spare them. Can you imagine that? Disgusting fucking pigs asking the person they assaulted and brutalized to show mercy.

"Oh, I took my time. And I made it fucking hurt. I beat them to within barely an inch of their lives, and then I let them...reflect...while they bled out on the ground. They were unrecognizable by the time I was finished.

"I know you may not agree with me murdering humans since your wolf spirit is kind of wired to protect any and everyone, but I did the world a favor. Me killing them probably saved so many lives. I'm not going to lie and say I regret my actions. Because I don't. And I never will. If I could, if they were somehow brought back to life, I'd do what I did that night all over again. And I'd enjoy it just as much." 

Paul pursed his lips. "Normally, I wouldn't be cool with you killing humans. But like you said, you did the world a goddamn favor. Those bastards deserved every second of what you did to them. And trust me, honey, my perception of you hasn't changed. I know it's only been, like, seven months since we first met- and it hasn't felt like much time- but give me some credit here."

Marshall's thumb smoothed over defined facial features after bringing his hand up to cup his lover's cheek. "Sorry, Tiger. I'm...kind of used to the reaction of being told I'm wrong for doing certain things. Courtesy of my oh-so loving family."

"Well, fuck them if they've ever made you feel bad for getting justice for you and your sister."

"Yeah. Fuck them, indeed."