Today I went for eid shopping for my sister actually. I always get a lady boner when I see so many compartments in a handbag.... Is it just me or are you people like that too.... This is my face literally when I find out a lot of compartments in hand bags....

OK back to the story... Yes some parts maybe repeated as it is now I  Hamdan'pov. But please be patient and read it again as there are some important parts as to what is going on in Hamdan mind. Comment on every part... As each comment gives me the strength not to eat Nutella and begin to lose some weight. 🤣😘

I just finished part 1 of the meeting regarding the transportation of the horses and had a 10 minute break in between and then the meeting would continue again. I heard some guy wanted to meet me. I was too busy to meet a fan or anyone at the moment.

I tried really hard to concentrate on the meeting yet my thoughts were clouded with the conversation I had with Aairah. I did terrible. And this was worse as I had done it again.

The last time she called back and she fought with me actually fought for us. She apologized so did I and we were good. But I knew I crossed the line when she hung up the phone and didn't respond to any of my calls, texts or even emails. I knew she was hurt and I was trying really hard to finish it off quick. I know we if I left now she would be at least hopefully happy but then would tell me duty comes first. I don't know what she is thinking right now hopefully about us. Not giving up on us. Maybe I was asking too much of her. She needed time. She doesn't need to do all those grueling lessons so fast. She could do it even after getting married.

As I was about to take a sip of the lavender infused coffee. Uncle Saeed came and told me about that the same guy was insisting upon to see me. It was urgent and was about Aairah.

What?! How does he know anything about Aairah and me. Wait it was in the news.

Just as I was processing what was happening. Uncle Saeed entered the large tent hall along with a young man drenched in rain wearing blue jeans and white vest. He was heavily tattooed but carried it off very well. As he walked towards me he was soaking the floor. I wondered how Aairah knew this guy. I have never heard of any guy through her. Yet this guy claims to know her.

"good morning... Uh.. Your highness?! I'm Stephen, Aairah's friend and Sabrina's brother... Step brother. ", he put his hand forward and I shook it. Wishing him the same. Oh yes Sabrina had mentioned she had a brother who moved to Spain.

"can I have a word with you in private sir.?" he asked looking at uncle Saeed.
I nod and I take him to a separate room we take seat when he gets up to go and close the door. I get nervous as I think of something dreadful regarding Aairah.
I was about to question about his identity being real or not when...

"Do you even know that she had an operation yesterday where a man died at her hands...she says It was her fault... No one guessed it what she did wrong but every one thought that it was just blood loss and other complications. That's what she was told. She does not remember what happened what did she do wrong...??? Do you have any idea what happened to her years ago?! "

This guy was angry... Very angry.

"calm down Stephen. You can talk to me. And I know what happened years ago when she was in the military and who she goes for therapy." I say trying to convince him.

His eyes widened a little, "did you know I was there at the hospital before her parents came down. I hired a hypnosis therapist.... To not let her go ballistic when her parents came down... She was given heavy sedatives she was bed ridden for days." he paused waiting for my reaction. As he paced around the seating area.

" I'm aware of it Stephen, she told me of those times and what caused it. She said all those things to me so I wouldn't pursue her to marry me. I love her. I know I didn't listen to her and said things I regretted every bit of it. I didn't know she had such hard day."

"you better take care of her..... Do you... Did she... Oh God... Did she tell you what happened when she was bought to the hospital apart from what she told you.... You don't know a thing because she doesn't remember... Her hypno therapist Mrs Adam wiped part of her memory within that 3 months of her being hospitalized. Her parents were only told of her trauma as PSTD. She would help her. I accompanied he to those therapy. And I had nightmares to what she told in her therapy. Do you have the courage to listen to what I have to say to you? "

He stopped as he saw my expression. What happened with Aairah killed me and now this man is saying there were things that happened beyond her knowing. She just didn't remember them. I didn't have the courage to hear as his words, his tone and his stance terrified me of what was to come yet I motioned him to go on.

"She told you she poisoned them to paralysis which later on killed them and the dogs ripped them apart....well... The pills were just to cause them to faint so they could escape. And there weren't any hounds.... None of those men died because of the pills or the hounds....
The hounds were just an idea put into her head so she doesn't try to fight d the truth as to what happened. "

What was he saying. I felt like I was falling down in elevator and I could literally feel my stomach drop. Did he just mean that Aairah did... No no it can't be...im Missing something.

"please..." was all that came out of my mouth. My voice was pained and what else God knows.

Stephen walked towards me and bent down on his knees. He just abruptly held my hand, "please take care of her, she loves especially you. The girl you know is real and the one I'm about to tell you isn't her but a part of her. please don't leave her after what I'm about to say..." he paused for my answer but silence gave it away.

"She killed them.... With her bare hands....she... She forced them to eat her team. She... She forced them to eat  each other alive or she threatened to torture them... There was bloodshed... They tried to kill each other but she didn't let them...she did the deed her self... She ripped them apart with her bare hands. Her own bare hands... Everyone thought it were the wild animals...we all were fooled. But it was her. It was all her. She was that animal. The scary part was she told me that she enjoyed it so much that she killed the crew the same way who weren't involved in the attack. The cooks the maids everyone who were present there that day. "

He went over to the table to pick a bottle of water chugged it down. My heart was beating fast not ready to accept that something like this happened to the woman he loved. Tears formed I  his eyes but something told him it wasn't over yet, when this Stephen guy came over to me again and held my shaking hands and handed me the bottle of water to drink and I too chugged it down.

He came closer to me until he was an arms distance, "you know what's worse, i realized it wasn't her. The One who spoke of to us of how she enjoyed it. This person was part of her. Born out of her mind at that day. She was then and is still suffering from Disassociative Identity Disorder....ugh basically split personality disorder." he rubbed his face as he let out his breath as if he held it onto himself as he told me this.

I was frozen. It felt like something cold was piercing through my chest it was cold and painful. Craving for some warmth but this was terrifying. I couldn't feel anything my hands my body nothing. I felt as if my left its body. I thought I just died. When Stephen bought me back from my reverie.

"I'm sorry you have to hear this. It is why she is this way. This DID was triggered due to extreme trauma of fear and revenge. Good thing is that it hasn't happened at such level till now except that day. But they are fighting its way to take control of her... She is a fighter you know.... I thought that the nightmares would have killed her. But when she told me that when you put her to sleep. She didn't have those nightmares. That's when I knew you were her cure. Not that this is curable. But you could suppress it. That's why I came here to tell you. That it has always been with her... She thinks she killed that man by mistake but in reality it was Her not Aairah but Her... That's why she doesn't remember a thing about her operating and killing. him Just to satisfy herself. Don't you realize how she got so good at her job. Because of Her. Please just please.... I don't know what else to say for you not to leave her. Don't... Please don't. I... I.. " he choked back his tears which won against him and me.

I stood up," we have to leave now, we have to go to Dubai .... She shouldn't know... Promise me no one will know. No one can know..... "

Throughout the plane ride my thoughts were clouded by the revelation earlier and how she didn't deserve it. How she didn't deserve to be lied to about how I pretended to be in love before. I had to tell her the truth she deserved it. Now I don't care after hearing the truth she doesn't forgive me or at the worst breaks off the engagement. She had to know about me. As I stared out the window I could feel Stephen's staring at me. He had just before leaving punched me in the face causing my nose to bleed a little. I didn't respond with the same back as I knew I deserved it.

"you should ice that... I don't want her to kill for doing that to you."

A small smile escapes my lips so does his. I get up and go to the fridge grab the ice tray and a towel nearby and put it on my left cheek causing me to wince a little. I go back to my seat.

We do a little chat about each other. And about when Aairah was little she was spawn of devil and she was an angel at the same time how she always got him in trouble and got him out too and how he tried to potty train here when she was a year old and he was 3 and she pooped on him....But apart from that the whole ride was silent.

Next day in london... As in night in Dubai.

My heart was beating faster and faster as she turned down to look at me. Her eyes widened is shock but there was no smile in her face or eyes nothing... I really did hurt her...

We entered her house as Stephen opened the door, apparently Sabrina left the door open for us.

I stood at the end of the staircase a little out of their view as I heard Aairah nearly screaming his name.

I came to the view thinking she might see me but she didn't seem to notice me. This pricked me a little I guess I deserved it.

What I heard broke my heart, ""Im so tired Stephen, I'm so tired. I don't know what to do. The nightmare keeps coming back. Hamdan isn't here. He is always angry at me. Please help me. I'm so tired. I don't think I can make it." she sobbed.

He held her close and rubbed her back calming and soothing her. Jealousy rose from the bottom of my stomach, I wanted to be the one to do that. Pain took over my jealousy as I worried what would happen if she found out... She will eventually but it would be me. To break it down to her.

"don't you ever worry shortcake, that's why we are here for you." he tried to console her.

"Hamdan calls me short stuff." she replied. Her face still buried into his chest.

"oh you mean...Him?", he asked pointing down the stairs as she followed his hand and I hear her gasp and my heart beats faster.

"Steph I must be dreaming, Hamdan wouldn't do something like this for me. You know throwing his ego aside... Let's go in you must be tired."

Before she could walk away to her room with Stephen and the girls while I caught up with them.

"we need to talk..... Wether you like it or not." my tone was soft but firm as I didn't want to sound rude pushy or too demanding.

She asked me wether I prayed, I hadn't and she offered that we prayed together.

"yes I'd love that...we have never prayed together, I never saw you train, I never saw how good you are like how Rashid describes and I never took you on a date till now.... Wow that's pathetic. I want to take you somewhere nice before we get married.", I smiled at her, her eyes softened a little.

She seemed to struggle for words and by the end of it  'yes, true.' were the  only words coming out of her mouth.

" we should pray first... But I need to take a shower first. I lost another patient today. I don't know what happened, it's like I don't even remember what I did. Anyways you are only allowed in if you behave yourself.", she says firmly but the confusion still lingers in her voice.

"Yes I know that... Stephen told me everything about the first one when we met in London yesterday."

Her mouth drops open, "yesterday? So you came... Here... Without your work being done.?! Wait how did Stephen get to you.?! "

"yeah...i told maktoum to look after it till the wedding. And Stephen came to the stables asking to see me. But he wasn't allowed. He told them about you and asked to see me. He told me it wasn't easy to get to me but uncle Saeed got him aside and to pass the message... To which he stubbornly didn't answer. He would only talk to me. Then eventually I end up meeting him. He told me about the day you got a call from him and how you told about what happened at the hospital. Basically everything. ", i took a deep breath after.

" he doesn't take no for an answer when it comes to me. ", she chuckled.

Her chuckle and everything about her was so calming and it ignited a fire In me.

" yes he does... He cares a lot about you... Did you guys ever have a thing being so close you are now. " i questioned curiously.

" what!!! No we.... What on earth... Whoa wait are you jealous. "

I say lightly" uh noooo...why would I?"

Her stern expression brings me to the truth.

" OK yes I am... You guys have a connection, which I really want to have. I know I.... "

She cuts me of and ask me to take a seat.

I place myself at the arm chair beside the bed. 

" look Aairah, I messed up and I'm sorry. I know I will later on too but please be patient with me. I don't know how to behave myself when I'm around you or anything that has to do with you. I know ow you had a bad day, you never complain about the responsibility. Yet I never gave you the chance to let you speak. I'm sorry I should have known. Hurting you hurts me so much that the case at the stables didn't matter anymore and I had to come here." my heart was racing and it was difficult to contain my emotions.

I waited for her answer, I didn't know what she would say. But it would prickly me make me feel guilty but she would make it soft for me to not feel the hurt. Even at this point she thought of me and to not hurt me even if I did.

" you were so mean. Right now I honestly will have to think twice before speaking to you what I truly feel. That doesn't mean I'm closing myself from you... I just want to take it slow.." her response breaks me a little. But before I could respond,

" we should pray we will talk later and besides I need to take a shower. And um did you eat anything on the way here? "

" no not really. "

I was very hungry. Just then there was a knock on the door and it was Avery with a tray of khubuz and grilled meat with hummus her mom had made for dinner and left. She takes it from her and she eyes her with curiosity. She rolls her eyes and closes the door. Don't know what internal chat they had. She asked me to eat till she came but I said I would wait until after the prayers. She didn't insist much and she headed for the shower.

She had forgotten to take her top with her and asked me to get one for her. As I searched the closet I notice her SpongeBob sweater at the back of the closet. I pull it out with the intention that wearing this would bring a smile on her face and would comfort her after I confess and leave.

she asked me to use the washroom for ablution when she saw me smile brightly at me only getting her blushing . She looked so adorable when she tried to hide her embarrassment.

Noticing her awkwardness i go to the washroom.

After prayer and duas, I felt so relaxed and calm. Like I have done this so many times with Aairah. I love it. I will make sure that once we get married we both would pray together.

"so you've apologized now, and I forgive you, I can say you too had a bad day and reacted to that on me. That was very mean what you did but I guess I can forgive you. Isn't that what we are supposed to do for each other right?!"  she spoke.

I was surprised and happy how could she forgive me so easily. She shouldn't have. I felt even more terrible for hurting someone so kind and forgiving. Especially someone who I love so dearly.

I ubruptly stood up and walked around the room.

"Aairah.... The goodness of your heart will harm you one day... I'm warning you."

"im well aware of that Hamdan... Although I'm not stupid I still do it anyway because deep down in my heart I know it's right. Hurting someone wether they deserve it or not.... Doesn't digest, at least for me. So what do you want? Why are you here? I know you would come to see me all the way from your work... There is something more important that is pushing you here.?", her tone polite but it felt like she threw daggers at me.

Shocked my eyes widen but I sigh in defeat, now I was hurt. She thought that I wouldn't come to see her when she needed me albeit a little late. It was still my fault, but his hurt a lot.
" is that what you think I came here for. That I came to see you with an ulterior motive!!? No I came to see you because I hurt you and it so long since I saw you or touched you in some way... I missed you isn't that enough?! You know you are right but not entirely. " I take a seat on the chair in front of me.  I wanted her to know I was serious but I was way too nervous. I needed her to hold my hand so I could feel strong enough to tell her everything that was burdening my heart but I couldn't do that so soon. It would destroy her. So I slowly place my left hand forward to ask her to hold my hand...

She seemed to think a lot just to hold my hand. Why was she even contemplating to do such a simple gesture?! I remember her words I'm so tired... Hamdan isn't here... He is always angry at me... Those words were haunting me. Just as I was about to retrieve my hand back. She gently but hesitantly placed her hand on mine holding it tight like she wanted strength from just as I wanted from her.

"Just remember one thing... I love you... Truly and deeply."

She just nodded in response.

I was too nervous to look into her eyes so I just bow my head down and my hands around hers tightening a little. She knew this was big, because she gave me a gentle reassuring squeeze. "Aairah I lied to you....right from the very beginning. Right after the day we first met. Everything was a lie. Everything."

She stiffened. The tears threatened to make their way out. She fought hard to keep her composure. I looked up to see her response and was a little surprised, pained and glad that she still held his hand and she was ready for what he was about to say. I do think deserve her was all I could feel right now.

Her strength was admirable to hold her own in times when her heart questioned everything and everyone around her. She knew that she needed to give chances to those who truly deserved it. This was something very few rulers i met possessed.

"you always asked 'why me?' well I was asked... Let me rephrase it... I was forced to make you agree to marry me." I paused again to see her reaction. My hands were clammy due to the nervousnessi felt. I thought I was about to pass out. Never have I ever been this terrified to admitting the truth.

Her eyes were red with tears. But she didn't dare cry. This scared me a little. "I was still in love and was involved with sheikha when we met. It's been 3 years that we were together much to fathers dismay. I was still In love with her when I came to see you for the proposal. I was still in love with her when you rejected me at your birthday. When you dropped me home, she was there and I still loved her then and we slept together. I was still In love with her...but along the way I didn't realize I was falling out of love with her since the day I met you. I didn't know when I began to fall in love with you. I fell Hard and fast.... I know it still sounds like a lie. But we are so much like each other that I got instantly drawn towards you. Although our likes and dislikes differ but everything else just sort of clicked. My father forced me to pursue you. Why you? Only he knows" seeing her was killing me. He just wanted to hug her and cry his feelings out. But if he did she would question him and she would try to find out even without his help.

Her eyes were unreadable. But her question gave everything away. "Did you fight for her?"  after everything i said. She didn't fight me, yell at me or hurl insults. She cared about Shekha. Because just like her Shekha too was a girl whose heart I broke. This gave me goosebumps. Any girl would have thought otherwise.

"Yes. Yes with everything I thought I had... But my love for my country is far more. I have responsibility towards this country so I chose my duties over her. I don't have much to say to you anymore only one thing I love you... And...I've hurt you so much. I can't just keep doing that. My life is filled with secrets and lies that I don't want someone like you in it. " i paused once again to find her holding my gaze with such intensity and the coldness of her demeanor was terrifying. But like i said before her eyes were the windows to her soul. What I saw was she was fighting an internal battle against the storm that raged inside her. I broke her heart.

She cracked a small smile. "I know where you are getting to Hamdan, it must have been hard to admit the truth. It always is isn't it. I won't put you through that further. I won't consider your option of walking of this engagement, because I will marry you not because you told me the truth but because I'm a fool who is in love with you. You know I'm not the kind to give up. Yes you've hurt me but I can't hate or run away from someone I love. I know how your family is good at keeping secrets. The dirty games are played behind the gates of the Zabeel Palace. I don't know what or how bad they are though. I know your brother has done some messed up unforgivable things. I'm only nice to him because every one deserves a small sliver of chance..." she paused as she looked behind me at the wall that held a wooden clock all I could think of was how I didn't deserve her and I had to let her go. How could she love me so much, how could she be so kind, how could she be so forgiving. Her words of love and kindness ripped my heart.

"it's getting late, I need to wake up early for practices, I need to catch up with Steph and I need to practice for my speech. Just know that my answer remains the same and I forgive you. But I want to ask you one thing. Can you do that?"

I nodded.

"I don't want to see you until we get married. I love you more and more everyday. Never even till now has it diminished. But I need this for myself. Desperately."

Although I really wanted to see her every now and then. Her request felt like a punch in my gut that felt more painful than Stephen's on my face. But I knew she needed this. We were getting married fast without actually letting her settle in. But without anyone's help she was trying hard very hard to mold in.

"yes love of course I can. I want you to have this..." I say and pulled out a box slightly bigger than a ring box and handed it to her.

She looked at me curiously but she just took the box and asked me to eat. I was starving as I took the first bite. She smiled slightly. And told me that I should have had something before I came to see her. We both ate some in silence. I thought it would be awkward... But it wasn't... We didn't have to speak to each other to feel what we felt now.

she then later carefully opened the box scared to find something she wouldn't like or something that would take her breath away.

When she saw what it was it took her breath away because she found something perfect she was looking for... It was a silver snowflake name bridle tag with Midnight written in my handwriting. Rashid had told me she named the horse. So I wanted something exclusive for her. But Aairah being Aairah was never the kind who would go for the materialistic things. So I opted for something simple and did my best to engrave the name neatly without breaking or spoiling the silver snowflake.

"how is it you know what I want?" was her question.

"I don't know I'm good with gifts."

"wrong answer princess... Because you love me a lot...thank you its beautiful its perfect.

"anything for you love." i replied. So happy that she liked it and she was still trying to be herself around me.

With a kiss on the forehead i wished her goodbye.

As I walked out of the house I was about to call for my driver to come and pick me up.

"don't call him take my bike."

Aairah's voice spun me around as she walked towards me with the keys in her hand.

I was just frozen to the spot as she walked towards me. Even if it was dark the moonlight cast on her face was something I had never seen in her before. She looked like she didn't belong here... Like she descended. She looked heavenly. Yes even in that sweater.

She gave me the keys and the helmet.
"thank you for coming. Thank you for letting your heart out to me. You have no idea how much you hurt me with that confession. You broke my heart. You have no idea how much this truth meant to me." she spoke softly almost imitating a whisper.

If only she knew.

" you are better off without me Aairah. "

" yes I am. But I still want to be with you even when you are shitty. I just love you too much or I am a weak person. "

She looked down. I took a step closer and lifted her chin up to look at me, "No Aairah, you are the most beautiful, the kindest, the most loving,  the kindest and the most forgiving woman I have ever seen in my life. I want to be the one to calm you, I want to be the one to hold you when you are down, I want to be the one you always think of whenever you do something, go thorough something good or bad."

She gave me the most beautiful smile ever, "it may be too early but you are very close."

My heart raced and I could feel the heat rush to my cheeks.
"don't hit me for what Im about to do."

I dipped my head encircled my left hand around her waist and my right cupped her cheek and kissed her softly just for her permission. She was hesitant as she didn't respond but still kissed me back. And I kissed her with every ounce of love I had for her. Fearful I might lose her.

We pulled back after a while, "you never initiated a kiss. And whenever I kiss you, you kiss me like it's your last.... Why?"

Her words pulled my heartstrings and I couldn't take it anymore I hugged her tightly, "Im too scared to lose you Aairah. I can't."

"I love you too." she whispered in my ear.

So how was it...... Very intense and emotional right.... Please comment on every part.... Coz this was difficult to write. I love you all

AnnoyingAuthorOut

OneLooooooovvvveeee.