The Illea Weekly Gossip

The long awaited selection has finally begun! After months and months of waiting to see which girls were selected they are now off and on their way to the palace. What a whirlwind this will be for all of us! Especially the prince and paupers they must be extremely excited. After all a bunch of girls at the palace who knows what may happen?

I had the privilege to tour the palace grounds and it was gorgeous and so peaceful! However, I'm sure it won't stay that way for long with all the young women arriving. The whole palace was transformed in a mere couple of days along with the change from winter to spring. Flowers were placed into vases windows were thrown open and the seamstresses were busy at work prepping load on load of dresses for each girl! How could anyone ever leave luxury like this? 

As the girls were flown to the palace I heard from a reliable source (who asked not to be mentioned) that each of the selected girls were interviewed by a private investigator before they could enter the palace. Very wise on the King and Queen's choice. We wouldn't want a maniac trying to steal the Prince/paupers hearts now would we?

When one of the planes landed I managed to catch a quick interview with one of the interviewers here is a quick snipped from what happened:

"Hello sir, would you please state your name and what you were doing on the plane." I had asked him. 

The large man told me slowly that his name was Greg and he was interviewing the selected. I asked him a few questions but he seemed more intrested in his puffins then he did my questions. However one thing did stick out to me. When I asked him if they'd found any girls who had some mental challenges and needed to be sent home he replied with and I quote "We have not yet discovered any girls that are potentially dangerous but I will be sure to be thourough. If i get so much of a hint of crazy they will be going home." 

You heard it there folks. So far all the girls seem well enough, but will they accidentally let someone crazy slip through the cracks? A selected who would not be fit to be with one of our greatly admired prince/paupers? Just looking at the interviewers' (Greg's) attention span I believe there is a great possibility for it! Catch up with Illea's Gossip again next week to learn what exactly is happening inside the castle walls. 

~Written and edited by Sofia Enderson

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"Oh, you thought we were done here? Nope!" Said a soon to be quite familiar voice, despite the blank screen on the TV. The news had been playing, but as soon as a report on the Selection ended, the picture on the television flicked off. "It's time for..."

There was an awkward pause.

"Uh...was I supposed to say it this time or were you?" Josh whispered.

"No, you're suposed to take the cap off the camera and Beckett says it..." The first voice whispered back.

"What? I...I don't think I want to..." Another voice, presumably Beckett, said.

"We are on live national television and you decide now not to do it?!" The first voice grumbled in frustration.

"Ummm...yes?" Beckett said awkwardly.

"Hey, Jeb. Where you going?" Someone yelled.

"Oh no! He's gradually rolling away! Get him!" Another yelled.

"You'll never take me alive!" Jeb shouted as a loud set of footsteps thundered, presumably, after him. It was hard to tell with the screen being black.

"Let's just say it together." Someone suggested.

"Ok, ok, fine..." The first one muttered. He then repeated the phrase before Beckett was suposed to say something. "Welcome to..."

"The Princely Perspective!" The remaining people in the room said, attempting to be in unison but missing it by a split second.

"We're here to..." The voice was cut off by arguing in the background. He shouted, "Capture him more quietly, Beck! You're ruining the shot!"

"Umm...About that...Is the camera even on?" One asked. "I, like...can't see the lens...Which way do I need to smile?"

"Josh, it's right--aww, man. We forgot to take off the lens cap... That's the last time I put Jeb in charge of anything..."

"It's ok. It just...uh, gives us an air of mystery." One suggested, trying to shed some ray of optimism.

"Mystery is history. Just get the cap off and act like we were suposed to do this...or blame Jeb."

"Ooh...blame Jeb..."

"...for what? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention." Josh said.

There was a muffled sound before the first actual picture came in. It was of someone's hand and the front of their suit. Suddenly, there was a face right next to the lens.

"You're acting like a cat. Stop it. You're embarrassing us all." The first voice scolded which came from a boy standing in the corner, Marco.

The one in front of the camera looked frustrated and sighed. Suddenly a smirk took over his face. "Embarrassing, huh? I don't think so...I'm just giving the ladies what they want..."

"Oh no..." Theo muttered.

Rico stepped back from the camera and pointed to his face in a very dramatic manner. "A closeup of my face!"

There was a facepalm.

"...Ricardo, sit down, please. We just need to get this over with and hope nobody has seen this!"

"Who cares? Rico has always embarrassed us anyway."

"I have not!" Rico huffed. "You're just embarrassed to be seen with me because I make you look bad..."

"Exactly." Jax muttered.

"Hey! That's not what I meant!" Rico protested. "It's because I look so good, you can't compare."

Before an argument could break out, Theo called everything back to order. "Guys, guys! Remember what we're here to do. We can only hack the TV for so long a day. Mom's rules."

"Right...So I guess it's time to say what we're supposed to and then log off?"

"Right." The Theo replied.

"Ok. Well, today on the Princely Perspective we are going to be doing...First impressions!" Jax said with more enthusiasm than the others had. He took out a large folder with 'Classified' written on the side.

He sat on a couch next to his brothers...or, who people were to assume were his brothers. He opened the folder, keeping the contents of it hidden from the camera.

Josh sat on the couch, smiling at the camera and holding perfectly still like he was having a picture taken while the others reached to pick up their stacks of pictures.

"You got pictures of the selected? I don't even want to know how..."

"Shut up...Now. We all have to pick out our favorite by picture alone..."

"Isn't that...you know...kind of unfair?" Theo whispered looking between the boys.

"Nah--it's not like we wouldn't be picking in our heads when we first saw them anyway...Each of us have our own copies of every picture, so you just have to go through process of elimination or just pick your favourite from your stack of pictures."

They each, except for Josh, flipped through the pile, still not showing any of the contents to the camera. Occasionally a piece of paper would show as they took them out, but the camera could only see the back. There was quiet, muttered comments between the princes, but it was mostly just simple things like, "Woah, she's hot." or "Dibs." or "Ew...Look at that pimple..."

"Guys..." Josh whispered with his teeth still clenched in a smile. "...when is the picture going to take so I can stop smiling?"

"We're on video. We already told you this earlier. We're you listening?"

"Yes." Josh replied, though he still smiled and didn't move his mouth when he spoke like he was still waiting for a picture to be taken.

"...uh...Josh? That means you can move."

"...mm hmm." He said without moving.

"Simon says you can move now."

Josh sighed with relief and stopped smiling. "Whoa! What a workout! My face muscles are on fire!"

This situation just seemed so normal to the others that they ignored it after they got Josh to move. He was handed a stack of pictures and they all went on with what they were doing.

They shuffled through the pictures, though showed none of them to the camara. Occasionally they would take a picture out of their stack and put them face down on the table in front of them. Those were the ones they didn't pick. Some picked one immediately. Some had to think very hard time deciding. Rico couldn't decide at all and decided to keep three pictures instead of one.

There was the sound of arguing again as Beckett came in, gasping for breath, and pushing Jeb's wheelchair. The wheels on the chair were locked, which made it more like a sled than a wheelchair.

"Nice of you to join us, Jeb!" Nathan said. "You and Beckett take a stack of pictures each. They're of the girls that will be coming. This is all to measure first impressions. Pick out your favorite and we'll all reveal who it is at the end of the show."

Jeb shot a suspicious look at them as Beckett took both his and Jeb's stack of pictures.

The random look of suspicion made it a bit awkward for the others. Finally one asked, "C'mon, Jeb. We've only got a few minutes left. What are you waiting for?"

"...if this is porn, I'm not taking it. I don't know how you got it, but that's just creepy." Jeb replied.

There was laughter from the group.

"What? No! It is just from their files! What would make you think that?" One said.

"Secret Santa last year. I opened my present. Mom demanded to know what I got. Humiliation. Rico laughing his butt off. Mom rampage after she saw what it was. Room and search history searches. Interrogations. Secret Santa banning. Ring any bells?" Jeb glared specifically at Rico as he was saying this.

"...why are you looking at me? Everybody knows that Beckett was your Secret Santa that year." Rico said defensively.

Beckett raised his hand. "For the record, I gave you tulip bulbs imported from Holland. I have no idea how that happened."

Rico started snickering like he always did whenever he pulled a practical joke. Had he unwrapped Jeb's present, put that in as a prank, and rewrapped it? No, but he thought it was hilarious.

"Either way, I'm not taking it." Jeb said. "This isn't right...Shouldn't we be deciding face to face? What if they're uglier in person?"

"Nah, these are like license photos--they make you look like you are imitating every opossum you'll hit after you get that license." One shrugged. "If they're uglier in real life...that's pretty bad."

"I don't care..." Jeb said, crossing his arms. "You guys just don't get it..."

"That you're cranky?"

"That you're too scared to talk to girls?"

"That you take the 'many fish in the sea' metaphor too seriously?"

"No! The thing is..." Jeb sighed and ran a hand through his hair like he was nervous. He paused for a moment before saying, "I...I don't want to participate because...because I'm gay..." He looked up at the group again like he was frustrated. "Happy? Now you know."

There was a moment of silence...

That moment didn't last long before it was completely shattered by rolling guffaws of laughter that could probably be heard across the castle.

Jeb was definitely confused by this reaction. "Wh-what's so funny?"

"That's the joke of the century! Ha!"

"So you were flirting with that maid because you weren't attracted to her? You told all of us how great you thought she was. It was so annoying and repetitive that we were glad you moved on."

The red started creeping up Jeb's face in embassment. He hadn't expected them to catch his lie so quickly.

He opened his mouth to deny it, but Rico interrupted him. "Don't you go fibbing again, I saw you checking her out."

Jeb did the only sensible thing and grabbed the nearest book off the table and chucked it at Rico. "Shut up!"

The book landed right off the other edge of the table, landing at Theo's feet.

"Then make a better excuse next time or just say that you're scared of talking to girls! Or...you know, just check them out from a distance. That kinda charm always makes them come running--running to the police that is." Rico laughed.

"I'm telling you, I won't like any of these people anyway. This is just weird and creepy. It's like the illusion of choice mixed with prearranged marriage!" Jeb argued.

"I bet you'll like at least one of them. Just look at the pictures at least."

"Fine. You want me to look at them? I will." Jeb snatched his stack of pictures from Beckett. Beckett backed away from him slowly to stand behind the couch.

"Redhead? No. I don't want to date someone who looks like she could be my sister." He said as he looked at a picture. He then took the picture, and, instead of putting it down gently on the table like the others had, he ripped it in half and threw it on the floor.

He took another picture. "When I look into a girl's eyes, I don't want to get lost pools of raw sewage." He said, referring to eye color this time. He ripped that paper as well.

He went through several more, giving each of them insults and ripping their pictures. The others were starting to get a little worried.

He paused at one for a moment, looking at the girl on it for a second. "But this one...I feel like I can relate in some way..."

There was a little shock and confusion at the sudden change. Jeb turned the picture so that the other princes, but not the camera, could see it. "You see that pimple? I had one just like it on my butt once. But at least I have an excuse not to pop that one. She better have done something about that sucker before she comes here." He ripped the picture several times before tossing it to the side.

Some found the comment funny...Rico was practically rolling on the floor. Others were shocked, mainly Theo, by the brutality and crudeness of what Jeb had just said.

Eventually Jeb went through every picture. There were none left. He'd insulted them all and ripped their pictures into confetti.

"Well, I guess my first impression is that this will be a waste of time, because they're all just a bunch of gold-diggers who only want any of us for our money, fame, and power." Jeb concluded. "And that they will leave the paupers as soon as they realize they won't get that."

"My first impression..." Nathan said as he laid his chosen picture face down, but beside the pile of discarded pictures, on the table. "Is that I am willing to bet money that you're going to fall first."

There was laughter after that.

"Well, I think I'd bet that he won't find anyone at all here. It would be better for the girls, after all." Jax said.

"Well...I think he'll probably fall second, because he'd be too prideful to fall first."

"Wait...why are we going into this? Obviously I'm staying single. Have you not listened to me at all?" Jeb huffed.

"Wanna bet on it? We're writing all this down to make it official." Theo said with a small notebook and pencil from the table in his hand as he wrote down the different bets the group were laying down.

"What are you going to bet on?" Jax yelled to Jeb over the voices of the other guys arguing over who they thought would be right and why.

"I'm going to not only stay single, but I will have every girl permanently chased away from me by the first week. I bet my fishing gear on it."

Jeb's bet was scribbled down in the notebook.

"This whole thing just got a lot more interesting...I hope you boys all enjoy losing..." One said.

"What did I bet for again?" Josh asked.

"Uh...what no one else betted on. How about that? What was your bid?" Theo said while taking notes in the notebook.

"Umm...Well...uh..." Josh muttered.

"You won't work out in the mornings. How about that?" Marco suggested. "That way we can sleep in without it sounding like someone's dying."

"B-but..." Josh contested.

"It's settled then! It's winner take all! It's all up to you, Jeb--just make sure you are the third person to fall, ok? I don't want to lose." Theo said, clapping the book shut.

"Dude, betting on people's lovelife is hilarious. I don't know why people don't do it more often."Jax said. "Definitely better than what I thought this was going to be..."

"Yeah...At least this doesn't have to all be nasty sappy junk..."

"Before this conversation goes any more downhill, I think it's time to sign off and pray that mother didn't see any of this. If she did...my bet is that we'll all be dead."

"Agreed." Several of them said.

"Well, at least it isn't live national television..." Beckett said.

"Umm...About that..." Nathan said.

"I set it to only broadcast in the castle." Beckett insisted.

There was an awkward chuckle. "About that..."

"...what did you do?" Beckett said, more out of worry than anger.

There was another awkward chuckle.

"You didn't tamper with the system did you..." Beckett said like he didn't believe it.

"That's all we have time for today! See you next time on the Princely Perspective!" He said loudly as he shoved the lens cap back on.

"Oh, so now that you're getting embarrassed you're going to cut it--" Jeb said before the camera was abruptly shut off.

The screen was dark for a moment before the news flicked back onto the screens.

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