Recall was a funny little thing, dressed in hillarity yet stuffed with sorrow and Abir knew this because every memory led him to smile till he hurt or cry till he laughed, then again he supposed that was more about Mishti's power over him than anything else.

It didn't seem too long ago when he was twirling her over tabletops, dangling her below chandeliers that never shone as brightly as her and gliding her across the many eyes that watched in fascination.

It didn't seem too long ago, but it was.

Lifting his knees to his chest, he screwed the cigarette roughly into the ashtray, forced his hair away from his face and exhaled away everything that yelled her name when he couldn't even find the energy to remember his own.

Allowing his eyes to fall shut, he basked in the sound of her melodic voice soft through the earphones, curled his body and found the one thing he'd lost five months ago-peace.

~~~

Lifting a hand to the fogged window, Mishti inhaled sharply at her hand print now making its way through the glass. Clenching her other hand atop her heart, her head hung back "Tere jaane ka gham aur na aane ka gham, phir zamane ka gham, kya karein?"

She did not know, at least, she didn't believe she did know why this song ran rounds in her head or why it made her heart beat a little faster when the words left her mouth.

But God, she wanted to.

"Raah dekhe nazar, raat bhar jaag kar par teri to khabar na mile" feeling hot tears rush down her cheeks, she gulped away the ache her throat cried for with the pressure it took just to release even a syllable. "Bahut aayi gayi yaadein magar is baar tum hi aana, iraade phir se jane ke nahi lana- tum hi aana".

The second her door swung open, she jumped, eyes wide and breaths laboured as she turned her head toward the shadow of a man she couldn't even place herself beside.

Abir fell to his knees before her, hand quick to find her cheek and knot in her hair as his head fell into hers in a soundless symphony. "You're singing" his voice cracked, "You do not know how long I've waited to hear you sing again, I thought, I thought that maybe" his head shook fast, "It doesn't matter now" he assured.

Moving his hand away, she turned her head "You should've knocked".

"Knocked?" His brows rose in astonishment, "Mishti, you're my wife".

Finally meeting his eye, she scoffed. "And as your wife am I not allowed privacy? Do you have some kind of right over me now that means you must see and hear everything I do and say?"

"What? No, that's, that's not what I meant!" Noting the fear in her eyes, his face dropped. "I guess I'm just used to how things used to be, I'll knock next time, it's just that, just that change is hard for me, it takes time" focusing on his feet so he wouldn't see the look on her face, he shuffled toward the doorway.

"You think this is easy for me?" Her voice rose an octave. "I have no idea who you are, I have no idea who I am, I know nothing about my world all I know is that-".

"That I love you" Abir interrupted, "Because throughout all of this you should at least know that" he almost begged her to realise what so many had seen as obvious when he looked her way.

Mishti's eyes glistened with tears. "I know that, but what I don't know is if I love you, a gift is a nice gesture, but if we don't want it we never keep it, instead we give it away or shove it in the back of our cupboards, I can't pretend to love you when I really don't, I can't love you if I never did". Her hands shook as she gripped the duvet beneath her, the words had exploded in a way she'd never wished for, but now they were out and just like love, they weren't something she could take back.

"Then what can I gift you?" He stood toe to toe with her. "Something you really want?"

"My memories" she smiled kindly, "Take me to Manhattan, remind me of how I fell in love with you, remind me why I said yes to being your wife" her hand held his in a grip he had no desire to release himself from. "Remind me why I looked at you like that in those pictures" she pled.

"I can't" he grimaced when her hand dropped from his.

"Why not? Why can't you? I thought you loved me then why can't you do this for me?" Her face crumpled.

"It's because I love you" Abir tipped her chin up, "That I won't do this for you, there is more pain in the past than you'll ever be ready for and I cannot hurt you again".

Shoving him away roughly, she scowled "You are hurting me now" Mishti spat.

"I'm hurting me too" he whispered the second he stood outside the door. Turning back, he held a hand to the door "And I'll hurt a thousand times over before I allow you to hurt the way I know you will when you know who I am".

~~~

"Excuse me, excuse me?" A woman span someone round after finally reaching them. "Have you seen this woman? Her name is Mishti". Gasping for breath, she looked up between greying hair that soaked her cheeks with grease.

The man smirked as he lowered his sunglasses "If I had" he leant closer, "She'd be dead by now" his smile turned downwards, "And if I see you again, you will be too". Shoving her backwards, he ignored her wails as she slammed the car door.

"Where to Boss?" The driver kept his eyes on the road.

"The Nest".